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Ryan Muehlbauer - First World Record 6:23 (Crackhead Ryan) Frank Wolfe - First ever "I Puked On Kain Award" Joe Straub - World Record 5:40.79 (TP) Glenn Babikian - 6:37 (Pretty Boy) Humberto Cavalheiro - 6:54.97 (Turtle Boy) Mary Endico - 8:29 (The Black Widow) Kain Cup holder Crackhead Ryan (04/19/11)
Bob Fugett - 9:57 (SlingShot)
Kain Assault Hall of Fame
[ - the course - ]
-------------------------

"If you can't say anything good about somebody,
you probably know them pretty well."
-
SlingShot

This page is not for trash talk. Since you know the person, just tell the truth. The truth will look enough like trash talk to be indistinguishable from it. Be aware that this is a moderated site. Bad language and defamatory comments may be cause for removal. If SlingShot feels your submittal is not defamatory enough, or your language is too circumspect, your comment will be removed as boring. Also your comment may be removed if SlingShot feels like removing it. On the other hand, a comment may be allowed to remain if it serves SlingShot's greater sense of capricious malfeasance despite all other contraindications. SlingShot renders all judgments on a per submittal basis, or not.

Otherwise this Chatter Box runs itself, and comments disappear automatically when more than 90 days old. If you would like to see improvements to this page, include a request in your comments. All suggestions are carefully reviewed and routinely ignored. However, special function has been included on the SUBMITTAL FORM (CLOSED)  in which you may respond to your own comments as "My Personal SlingShot." Don't forget to treat yourself roughly if you use it.

Currently showing  172  comments.  Add your own using the SUBMITTAL FORM (CLOSED) .
 

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#Time ESTPresidentChatterUser's
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My Personal SlingShot
aka: Sling Blades
Shot's
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212612/30/2007 10:22:00 PMCrankyLoved the poem. What. You've lost Bianchi's e-mail address? 
212512/30/2007 10:20:00 PMPalletmanBianchi's piece: very funny. What. You've lost Bianchi's e-mail address? 
212412/29/2007 9:02:00 PMJOHey, SlingShot, word on the street is you had a pretty rough day. That's right, and then it got worse.

First thing, The Widder took me up to the Suncoast Trail where she worked too hard on the way out, of course, which meant I had to work not too hard but WAY too hard.

It was only a little ways after I responded to one of her many complaints with, "We can turn around now if you want," and to which she had replied, "We have to do at least a Hump," then, "Tell me when we are over 17.5 miles," and after she was told we were at 17.8 and she had blurted out, "I know. That last one tenth of a mile was the hardest in my life," when I reminded her, "If you think that was hard, let's see what you have to say after our 17.5 miles back… into the wind. You can keep pulling."

When we got home she said it was the hardest ride of her life, and I said, "Yeah, I feel like shit," to which she commented, "You should. You didn't drink a thing and it was 88 degrees. Good thing some clouds rolled in for the last couple miles, or you would have burst into flame."

So that was bad enough. Then we come inside and find this from Bianchi. >>>

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212312/28/2007 6:05:00 PMSlingShotSo SlingShot, how's it going down in Foriduh? Shutup, asshole. Three rides, two flats. Just like it ever was. 
212212/26/2007 5:21:00 PMSlingshotNote to self: Next time be sure to ask the owner of the Floriduh house rental to remove a few dozen of the room size mirrors before arrival. What's the matter Walrus Boy, too shy to look at yourself naked? Or are you just surprised to be Walrus Boy? 
212112/24/2007 10:47:00 AMSlamCrankThat's it. We're outa here. I wonder if Ryan is still skinny? 
212012/23/2007 4:58:00 PMPalletmanI don't know what Joe Straub's fucking problem is. You can't get him to budge off his program for an inch. Last week he rode inside and wouldn't even go out to ride on the last (unexpected) warm day of the year. Maybe he wants to win. 
211912/23/2007 4:20:00 PMCrankyNice last word. I guess I'm not allowed to mention I've lost all my body fat and am down to a Double AA bra? Double AA my ass. You've never made it up to Double AA in your life… always been well below any known metrics I'd wager. 
211812/23/2007 2:04:00 AMGeorgy GirlIf you don't mind, I'll take the last word. You are not silly enough to think this has started up again, are you? 
211712/23/2007 2:04:00 AMTurtle BoyI like birthday cake, too! Easy now. 
211612/23/2007 2:02:00 AMFGIf you think I'm going to comment on this, you've got another think coming. Stop talking like Twin Lynn. 
211512/23/2007 2:01:00 AMddoTWhat the fuck is going on here? Shut up, TOAD. 
211412/23/2007 1:59:00 AMJOI heard a couple of gym bunnies showed up for Louie's spin class, and now they are living in an alternate universe. They were probably taken in by his suave manner and continental style, thinking it would be a nice convivial chat fest. Our theory is they figured a fat old fuck like Louie couldn't hurt them much. 
211312/22/2007 7:43:00 PMBig BianchiSpin class, three nights a week, and I'm the only one with perfect attendance.

 Speaking of hooie. Well, that's got to be frustrating for you... doing all that work and knowing it's not going to help you a bit. 
211212/22/2007 4:46:00 PMTwin LynnIt's a lot of hooie. Oh. 
211112/22/2007 4:35:00 PMTwin LynnI'm not a big fan of Christmas. And why would that be?EXTRA
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211012/20/2007 11:18:00 PMPalletmanSo how'd yesterday's Hump Recon Drive go? You might want to take a look at this. >>>EXTRA
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210912/20/2007 4:39:00 PMToe ClipHey Slingshot… 12/24 still a travel day?... and the day before?... and before that?...

You can run but you can't hide!!!!!

Rick

 What on earth could he be talking about. I'm not even here now. 
210812/20/2007 12:04:00 PMARC StaffThis Morning's Project: Reconnaissance drive of The Hump photographing 4 mile split markers. Uh oh. 
210712/19/2007 3:10:00 PMARC StaffTurtle Boy Watch: Ok, we went back through our files and found that Humberto Cavalheiro had a recorded effiency rating of 8.754 which is currently the best ever documented ARC performance. Now you're talking! 
210612/19/2007 12:55:00 AMARC StaffTurtle Boy Watch: 253 for 21.4 So? 
210512/18/2007 10:28:00 PMService
Promo
Subj: Outage Report
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From: ********
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In addition to the technical issues that we encountered, our customer service representatives fielded a high volume of telephone calls and e-mails from clients. We did our best to answer each one, but the considerable volume received caused many of your inquiries to be left unaddressed. We sincerely apologize for the inconvenience you may have experienced. Subsequent to this highly unlikely incident on Friday, we will be implementing additional precautionary measures to safeguard our infrastructure to further maximize our service reliability.

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 In my response to Grimy Greecian (Post #2100), I theorized the outage (mentioned at left) was due to new equipment purchases. Turns out it was merely a promotional campaign.

The ISP should probably pay a little closer attention to what their advertising agency is doing, because they missed the fact my outage was more than 12 hours, not the "within the hour" they allowed to remain in implication.

I wonder about the reaction of those who may have really had something to lose with their websites being down. In our case the only thing that happened was an Endico collector came into the studio complaining they couldn't get on the website the night before, then earlier that morning, but they came over anyway, hoping we hadn't already left for Floriduh.

While the collector was here they purchased one of Mary's paintings for $1,600.00.

I guess it all pretty much proves how our website is more or less worthless to us. It also implies that nobody else's website is very important to them… given nobody seemed to notice the problem until it was already in full swing for a dozen hours or so.

So should I complain?

No fucking way, dude! Sounds like a complaint would only cost me money.

Maybe I should just write them and apologize for telling people I have never received a response to an e-mailed technical support query. I could add that there's never been very many problems in the last three years of service anyway. I could also commend them on their ad agency's grammatically correct text in the promotion.

 
210412/16/2007 8:16:00 PMPalletmanI guess we all know what Cranky was shopping for today. What were you in the market for?

P'man

 Some peace and quiet, but it looks like security has gone to shit around here. 
210312/16/2007 12:07:00 PMCrankyWidder, maybe this is our answer. It might not cut our times down, but looks comfy and not 'squashy'.

P.S. You can let Slingshot know that the model is very likely Download Kim.

Mary Beth

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It might be the answer if any of you had any tits. And yes, I've got the balls to say it. 
210212/15/2007 11:21:00 PMCrankyIs Slingshot's killing of Widder another "IF I HAD DONE IT"?

Mary Beth

 No. I did it alright.

So what am I going to have to do, shut down the Internet to get some security around here?

 
210112/15/2007 7:43:00 PMddoTHey Guys! Just wanted to say Merry Christmas, and let you know that I just clocked my 4,000th mile on my trainer this winter, and you're all fucking dead meat.

Ok, maybe 40th mile, but you're still all dead meat.

Allright, you got me, 4th mile, and I'm dead meat.

Happy holidays and look forward to seeing you soon.

ddoT

 Glad to see you are doing so well on your trainer.

You're not likely to see us till spring. We are out of here by about this time next week.

BTW: How'd you get past security? No don't tell us. It's probably better if we don't know.

 
210012/14/2007 10:58:00 PMGrimy
Greecian
What was that all about? I have been trying to get on here since last night, and nothing… Endico, KeyTap, Equipoise, WonderGam, NuclearDan, DrArtChiropractic, BooneWoodcarver, SugarLoafGuild, this American Road Cycling site, and all the others. All down. I'm not sure what the problem was. I guess access to the Server went down sometime last night, and didn't come back till this evening. I couldn't take it anymore, so stopped looking at it and told The Widder to let me know when things righted.

I did make a phone call to tech support. Nobody at home. I guess 24/7/365 means something different on Long Island. I did a few pings and tracerts to make sure it was them, not me. Then I e-mailed a query, but I have never (ever) gotten a response to my e-mail from the people I pay to keep things going. They are probably spam addled and do not even bother looking at their e-mail anymore.

My theory is that my ISP, where my colocated Server lives, bought a bunch of new stuff before the end of the year in order to get their yearly tax write-off quota all sorted out. Then they had a doozy of a time trying to get it all working.

It does point out why I have never accepted a penny for any of the websites I've done. Just think, if the two dozen or so sites on that machine each had business interests that got screwed by the outage, what would my liability have been?

Not that I'm going to raise a stink with them, though. My only concern is cheap, cheap, cheap: to match what a web presence is really worth to us. In theory, I could get the thing plugged in somewhere in North Carolina for about half the price, but I'm a lazy mother-fucker. Plus, there's no way of knowing if things wouldn't just get worse besides… and they really haven't been that bad, all things considered.

I guess I can live with this happening once or twice a year. I only wish it wasn't always just before we leave for Floriduh.

Also, everytime access to my Server gets fucked, I like to think maybe it has been grabbed up by the CIA , shipped down to Gitmo, then some jerky interrogator has it opened up on a water board, saying something like, "You are going to to tell us, Mr. Server, and right now. Where are they hiding the real stuff on you? Do you think I'm an idiot? Do you think I really believe all this stupid shit is the only stuff on here? Fess up!"

Couldn't blame the guy. Can't believe all the stupid shit on it myself.

 
209912/13/2007 9:21:00 PMJOSlingShot, they say you killed The Widder today. That's right, but now I'm kinda sorry I did it. At first I wasn't worried, because I knew no jury would convict me. All I needed was to get one of the jurors to spend a snow day with her. Then I realized that due to her being dead, nobody was going to have the privilege, so I'm pretty much screwed.

I probably should have thought about it before I did it, but the thing that finally set me off was when she came in from shoveling and said, "Well… I may be an old woman, but at least I proved I can still handle a wet six inches!"

 
209812/11/2007 6:16:00 PMToe ClipYO! Just checking in…

I haven't been on ARC for a bit and assume the chatter is still being shunted!

Hope all is well. How's your studies?

I got one for you: I reignited my interest in earning the CSCS designation (that would be a Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist), sort of an official strength coach designation.

I have access to a lot of studies on athletic fitness, etc, but the certification process includes an exam that's a real bitch! I was studying for this (?) sideline thing a couple of years ago, and now I've been re-motivated. (?)

Looking to get this designation before they change the credentialing requirements and make it harder to get.

Hope to see you on the road before your escape south with wifey...give her my regards,

Rick

 The Widder says, "Study all you want… I will still kick your ass."

I would add, "Better get the cred's before we change the industry with our new stationary-trainer design."

The ARC staff adds, "Yes, the ChatterBox is still closed, and you are unlikely to see SlingShot on the road in the next two weeks. Then he's gone. In any case, he's made major break throughs with French (could teach it now) and is currently making improvements to the word listings on Wiktionnaire."

"…and no, just being nice to him will not get him to tell you the new training secrets. Keep studying so you'll understand it when he does."

 
209712/11/2007 3:13:00 PMJOWhat? You aren't even giving us a clue about what you are fixing? Actually, it is two separate problems, and the fix won't be that simple, so no, I'm not saying another word about it. 
209612/11/2007 2:58:00 PMSlamCrankThat is absolutely incredible. What defect are you correcting? I don't want to ruin the surprise. Check back early next year. This is going to be huge. 
209512/11/2007 2:56:00 PMSlamCrankHey, SlingShot! What have you guys been up to? I have identified a basic design flaw in the Computrainer system, and I am having The Widder help me develop and implement a new training device which will overcome inherent problems in all currently available stationary training devices. 
209412/7/2007 11:29:00 PMTwin LynnWell, I was hoping Mary had made personalized holiday cards this year, and that I was the only person to get a card like that.

I actually thought I escaped cuz days had gone by without my brother calling me to tell me something like, "Gee, what a surprise. A photo of my sister looking pissed off. I've never seen her like that before. I hardly recognized her."

But NOOOOOOO. The whole freakin' universe got the card too.

Thanks.

I hope Floriduh sets record lows this year.

FU
The Hula Bitch

Double click Backspace to return to ChatterBox after watching this. >>>

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Felice Underwear to you too.

The Widder wins!

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209212/7/2007 11:23:00 AMCrankyWhat the hell is wrong with Lynn? Why hasn't she reacted? There's nothing wrong with Lynn. In fact, I had to explain to The Widder that Lynn is merely kicking her ass once again.

The Widder had hoped Lynn would go all whining and shit, but Lynn is made of sterner stuff than that. She has remained mute on the subject despite the special voodoo doll and stick-pins insert that was included in her brother's card with the caution, "Please, do not use stick-pins near crotch area. It has become too important to too many people!"

My life has been a 24/7 living hell listening to The Widder getting disappointed after checking her e-mail 40 or 50 times each hour and saying, "Mabye she didn't get it yet."

In the meantime, lots of people have heard about the card and are themselves whining to see it. Turns out we didn't print enough, so here it is. >>>

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209112/5/2007 11:44:00 AMPissedOff
JealousWoman
I don't believe it for a moment! We are just reporting what was on The Widder's Computrainer Report this morning—after she got caught laying in the dirt outside Humberto's last night playing with her camera.

She wants to thank Humberto, George, and Dangerous for the inspiration. She also had a list including people from Sullivan County, Brooklyn, and Skylands, but the music played her off. Which reminds us… major thanks goes to The Dave Matthews Band.

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209012/4/2007 9:51:00 PMThe BossSomebody told me the paparazzi are all pissed off over losing money, because Paris Hilton is out of town. True. But they still got this great photo of somebody's secret winter training and made us pay a lot for the story that went with it. >>>EXTRA
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208912/3/2007 9:34:00 AMCaliperGirlI heard that Imus is back on the radio this morning. Yeah, somewhere I guess. Since I made such a big deal out of it when he got fired, I'd probably better say something now.

The Widder read to me this morning that somebody said Imus will be contrite, and that most people have forgiven him. I replied that the people who hated him before still hate him, that the people who knew he didn't do anything wrong in the first place still know he didn't do anything wrong.

Plus, the unfortunate women athlete scholars who had their special day in the limelight fucked-up by all the media frenzy (and who showed their true excellence [mostly] by saying, "Let's hear what he has to say," then, "Oh, he's just an old fart who made a bad joke. Lets get back on the court and finish our finals."), well, they are all graduated now and out in the real world—finding it's nothing like they were told.

In any case, Imus's first word back on the job should be a reinforcement of free speech and a direct attack on the Al Sharpton's of the world. It should be the "n" word. It should go something like this:

"I won my lawsuit and am back, and those shit for brains, cocksucking, asshole, motherfucking n…, shit, n…, ne…, kripes."

"I ripped their wallets out of their pockets and have returned. Those dick licking, scrotum sucking, testicle munching, motherfucking na…, nu…, ne n…"

Well, you know, the "n" word. I'm pretty sure it won't happen.

 
208812/2/2007 3:36:00 PMJOIts snowing. Anybody been working out? Sort of. >>>EXTRA
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208612/1/2007 10:15:00 PMSlamCrankWell, now they really pissed me off. Me too. I removed them from the Sponsors (Not) page.EXTRA
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208411/30/2007 8:23:00 PMCaliperGirlI heard Humberto hasn't shaved in a month and you guys caught him naked. Can we see? Sure! >>>EXTRA
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208311/28/2007 6:58:00 PMPalletmanWhat the hell is wrong with SlingShot? Somebody better call an intervention. I stopped over there today during a ride, and he was standing in the middle of the gallery with no shoes on, looking like something the cat drug in (unshaven, smelling like Howard Hughes' undershorts), and whining about somebody making him come downstairs while The Widder was in the back printing up some Xmas card shit or something. Does he always fall apart like that in the winter? Ben, oui. 
208111/24/2007 4:40:00 AMCrankyIs it true what I heard, somebody actually thought that old photo was real? Appears so. >>>EXTRA
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208011/22/2007 1:40:00 AMSlamCrankWhat's this I hear about SlingShot redefining the term couch potato while wreaking havoc on French websites? Some people should not be allowed to buy books.EXTRA
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207911/20/2007 9:07:00 PMJORecents reports reveal people are surprised to find themselves living across the street from a Greasy Mexican. Things could be worse. >>>EXTRA
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207711/17/2007 2:33:00 AMJOHey, SlingShot: Somebody said you just had an insight. That's right. I was just watching the Coen brothers in an interview with Javier Bardem and Josh Brolin being interviewed by Charlie Rose about their new movie "No Country for Old Men" and found myself getting progressively more excited to go see it with the Widder.

During a brief discussion about the Coen brothers' process, I found myself enthused to the point of wanting to get ARC going again. Not that I've got time, but I noticed how much like the people hanging out around ARC, are the Coens and the people who hang out around them.

That's when I had the ephiphany as to why I was so excited about this movie, their process of filming it, and all the people (don't forget Tommy Lee Jones, Woody Harrelson, etc) who were involved making it. The interview was giving me a precise perspective on how to define the Hump… simply.

The Hump is a Coen Brothers' Movie.

Editor's Note: And so are all the rides leading up to it.

 
207611/14/2007 7:05:00 PMRoving
TroubleMaker
The Widder came back from a ride today, and look what she found on her doorstep!EXTRA
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Whew! 
207411/13/2007 4:05:00 AMJOSomebody said that yesterday the Widder caught Twin George Meyer and Dangerous Dan Sullivan at Central Deli in Florida (mid-morning) with about a hundred and twenty chili dogs each, all lined up and slugging them down like a National Hot Dog Eating Championship, or maybe it was Cheez Whiz and road-kill pâté subs. But any way you look at it, there was a lot of it, and it was ugly.

Conversation eventually turned to how it was a given that SlingShot was totally fucked up, made obvious by the fact he had married the Widder, but they just couldn't understand why the Widder married SlingShot!

How does that fit into your little Linguistics study?

 Those boys are part of the prime study group proven to be the only assortment of characters on the planet linguistically accomplished enough to insult two parties at the same moment, in a single sentence, through applying a branching logic invective associating both their names one to the other… not to mention: this example was applied directly into the face of one of the thrashee's.

And they never even missed a bite.

 
207311/12/2007 3:25:00 AMSlamCrankAt least we won't have to read peoples' responses. Small comfort. 
207211/12/2007 2:58:00 AMSlingShotHere's something interesting, and it makes me feel more comfortable with French.

I've finished my review and extended my understanding of the phonetics (got the sounds down cold) and have begun my review of negation in the build-up to dealing with the next assignments which deal with syntactic alterations required to change sentences from direct discourse into indirect discourse and vice versa.

Also coming up, there's a little matter with regard to pluperfect and conditional phrases along with the use of the subjunctive, but that's almost an aside.

In any case, I am currently going through the sections about negation in Le Bon Usage [Grevisse, 1994]—which is a full-out French grammar of 1,762 pages… and all of it is in full-out technical French.

What I gather is: the problem with negation (that had me stumped) is that French construction is a lot closer to English than I had thought. The paths that must be followed to derive the various forms of negative meaning are clearly accessible and not without logic. What surprised me more is how the attempt by the French to control their language, hoping for it to make sense after it is written (for more than a few hours on prime time TV, and only by those who watch it diligently), has possibly led to an opposite and irretrievable result.

French is in theory more controlled than English. There is even an Academy that oversees its development and changes. Therefore, its development is not left to the fashion Mags and Chatter Boxes. However, the process so closely relies on supporting the correctness of construction by making reference to particular usages in the French literature that the resulting rules end up being little more than he said, she said… which I guess is a somewhat ironic phrasing.

In summary, it appears that in the attempt to avoid being didactic, the French pendulum has swung so far over to the descriptive grammar side, that even the bare essentials of a useful prescriptive grammar are lost.

Of course, it is not really all that bad (not at all like my own French); but still, it does mean that I may eventually be able to write that shit… and call it merde.

Otherwise, I guess I should say, "Where the funck is Strunk?"

Editor's Note: If you happen to be a Francophone and are using the American Road Cycling website as an example of correct grammar... don't.

 That is not interesting in the least. 
207111/7/2007 1:28:00 PMSlamCrankI found this photo online of the Widder at home a couple months ago. Would this work?EXTRA
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No. She's too fucking old. 
207011/7/2007 12:11:00 PMToe ClipHey Slingshot,

Could you please wrap up your project as we need our rude Chatter Box back!

The other reason I'm writing is that one of my fellow Kissena guys took on a job in Denver as art director for the ad firm that handles Shimano—among other big name bike part mfg's.

He'll be in town on Monday to do a photo shoot and is looking for muscular leg types, both male or female. Would you have anybody in mind that would be able to go down in the city to make a li'l money? Commissions would be split as I'm looking to get Dura-Ace components as payout!

Ridiculous? Yes, but still serious.

I need pics to forward. No bs Chatterbox or ARC home page laughter stuff… real deal here.

Hope all is well,

Rick
Padgettnyc@aol.com

 I only have 18 assignments and two tests remaining in reading/writing 2nd year French to finish my Bachelor of Arts Degree in English Literature. I guess I should have done it back when I was in college, because these days I take everything a little too seriously.

This little 2nd Year Language Course has grown into a PhD project in Linguistics, which will likely end up as a book titled, "F1: What word is exactly the same in every language?"

It is unlikely that the project will ever "end" in any true sense.

The world's greatest cycling legs are currently restricted to calves, and they are found on Douchebag Kevin Haley, or his mother.

However, a prime candidate for representating overall raw power would be Humberto Calvaheiro, but he is currently descending deep into Turtle Boy Winter Snooze Mode, and the cost of having him shave his legs at this point would certainly break Shimano's budget.

Just the charges for horse clipper replacements alone (to take care of the first pass at roughing out the hair removal) generally matches the gross annual product of most smaller countries.

But in case somebody is interested, I'm putting your e-mail address here: Padgettnyc@aol.com

By the way, nice desperate touch: trying to finally pay people to go down to the City. I hear that even writers have stopped going down.

I'm thinking they all stopped writing, because they couldn't take the pressure of having to write about Stephen Colbert running for President (as a joke) and getting more support than many "serious" candidates.

That fucker Colbert might have even won, if not for the writer's strike causing a blackout on his "campaign." Maybe it was a government plot.

Apparently, Pakistan saw it going on and decided to just lock up all the writers and shut down the TV's. Of couse, you won't be hearing much about it, because the writers here have all taken a hike, leaving the only thng worth watching on TV being the stumbling all over themselves of news casters trying to read stuff that is ever more poorly written.

This time, the War Cartel might be successful in censoring opposition. It is unlikely anybody will ever bother with the mainstream media again, with so much opportunity on the Internet. Now all they have to do is put a little filtering device on the 12 global routers that handle addressing for the Internet.

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot. If any of you people have got legs, and know how to use them, write Toe Clip at:

Padgettnyc@aol.com

Editor's Note: Sorry nobody got to read this, because by the time it was posted our fine President had already Musharraf'd the U.S. and shut down the Interent. All he had to do was yell, "ooga booga, ooga booga, whoooo… terrists!" and everybody shit their pants and let him do it.

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206911/6/2007 11:28:00 PMSlingShotPer popular demand by Dangerous Dan Sullivan, Turtle Boy Humberto Cavalheiro, Twin George Meyer, Douchebag Kevin Haley, Pretty Boy Glenn Babikian, and Triathlete Mike, here is the Widow's painting of her crack.EXTRA
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Glad I got dropped on the first hill and never saw it. Pretty horrid, but nobody would have seen it, if we had not antied up the $10 dollars each for Iron Mike Norton to tell TP Joe Straub that it was his rest day and he should skip the ride. I'll have to admit it was pretty sweet making it to the first hill. 
206710/31/2007 1:31:00 PMSlamCrankLook at the stuff SlingShot's been doing that I found online.EXTRA
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That's scary. 
206510/28/2007 3:43:00 PMCrankyI don't know... it started as just some sort of joke, but after the party I had the best sex of my life! I'm not giving the jersey back.EXTRA
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What did you expect? 
206410/24/2007 3:29:00 PMHumbertoIf this place is shut down, how'd I post this?EXTRA
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You didn't. 
206210/23/2007 3:17:00 AMSlamCrankWhat the fuck has SlingShot been up to? He's been working on a book... but you won't like it. >>>EXTRA
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206110/20/2007 4:45:00 PMSlingShotOk, I just couldn't help myself.EXTRA
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You make me sick! 
205810/16/2007 12:06:00 PMJOYo… twitt! You forgot this.EXTRA
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Oh, yeah. Right. 
205610/14/2007 8:04:00 AMARC Hiatus Assessment TeamIn order to comply with Mrs. McNeilly's careful review of the ARC website and concerns, after the explanation tendered regarding JO's report about her not getting it (posts #2042 & #2043), we are immediately shutting down the Chatter Box for an extensive review and repair.

This is a good opportunity for us to do so, because currently (finally) there are no rank newbies (who are posting) who have just shown up only to get their posts caught in the restructering. Also, it is fucking cold out, so it is time to start chopping firewood.

Now, nobody get all the fuck freaked out. Input forms will be gone by the time you read this, but that is only normal.

SlingShot promises to continue to refrain from checking website usage logs in order to avoid his knee jerk empathetic response to user browsing patterns.

 Don't miss the grand reopening sometime in late Spring 2008, or 9 or something like that. 
205510/14/2007 7:56:00 AMMrs. McNeillyOk, I looked at this stuff again, and I have to tell you, I still don't get it. Plus it's not funny. You are probably right. 
205410/14/2007 7:53:00 AMJOFor the record, just how many uphills had he waited for you on, before that downhill? All of them. 
205310/14/2007 7:51:00 AMSlamCrankDownhill? Exactly. 
205210/14/2007 2:52:00 AMToe Clip GuyHey Cranky,

You would've been right if Slingshot showed up for the mid-day "Alternate Hump". But it wasn't Slingshot. It was SlingPoser. I realized that in the last 30 minutes when I went off on my own thru a very fast section of 211 and discovered at the end of that segment that the rider with the Serrota and the skeleton jersey was right there with me—beat for beat. That's when I realized it was somebody else altogether. Real creapy if you ask me.

One more month of Saturday morning soccer with my sons, and I should be back on the Hump. See you then, and don't you dare ask for the Binky!

 Anyone care to guess? 
205110/14/2007 2:46:00 AMGeorgy GirlAnd will the real Georgy Girl please get back in the tub. 1) SlingShot, 2) Palletman playing the age old game of getting Cranky to respond to a ghost. 
205010/13/2007 11:45:00 PMddoTAfter checking again today, K"db"H was riding some mid-level Ksyriums, but he also reported a new record of 26.2 mph avg for today's Hump. The Zipps go on for next week's ride, where he plans to go above 30 mph—then retire from cycling.

Nice riding with the Gapper today. Smooth as silk as usual. I also heard a nasty rumor that Download will be joining the Hump next week.

 No more records will be accepted, but if Kevin promises to retire we'll give him the fucking 30 mph as a going away present. In any case, it appears his new team is beginning to teach him how to be a loser. He only won the sprint by a few inhces. If they keep slowing him down, he'll be back with you guys by the end of next month.

All rumors concerning Download are nasty… and we love them.

I'm starting to think Mrs. McNeilly is right.

 
204910/13/2007 10:09:00 PMPCPWatch your mouth Mrs. McNeilly. This is a family website. Leave Mrs. McNeilly the fuck alone. Her characterization of our lifelessness is in fact negated by this forum's very existence. If we were not alive, would we then write so much?

If you people had not life, would I bother to edit your nothingness?

 
204810/13/2007 10:08:00 PMPCPSure, Georgy Girl, why not just rub dirt in the wound?

4 of us chased Gapper and ddoT after a gap ensued at the top of Ridgebury. We proceeded to chase them down for the entire rest of the Hump—until the finish—and never caught them.

We had them within grasp at the Camel Farm until Gapper looked back, winked, and told his little protégé to kick it up a notch. That they did. It was still a beautiful day (estrogen talking…sounding like Georgy Girl).

 See? Just like I thought.

BTW: I believe the saying is, "Life is good."

 
204710/13/2007 9:43:00 PMGeorgy GirlPCP, can you explain that last math problem to us… I just don't get it! I think it has something to do with sex change operations. 
204610/13/2007 9:33:00 PMPCPWhen are 4 less than 2? When the 2 are the Gapper and his little protégé. ddoT, just wait until you get your bike sizing and corn cob saddle. There will be no stopping you. And at what point has ddoT been stopped to date?

BTW: You can't just come in here on the weekend and stop skimming like this.

 
204510/13/2007 9:31:00 PMJOThat's not the only thing he's taking into his own hands. Toe Clip is master of his domain! Kissing up to Mr. Clip is not likely to call off the Kissena onslaught, but nice try. 
204410/13/2007 9:27:00 PMPCPToe Clip - it is good to see you are taking training into your own hands and getting a ride in post soccer. Additionally, see what happens when you call for riders in a non-Broke Down locale? I heard Dad felt sorry for you never getting any takers, so he decided to come out and kick your clipless arse. Sounds like you thanked him by whooping his. Regardless, a ride was had, and so it's a beautiful day. I believe the phrase is, "Life is good." 
204310/13/2007 9:13:00 PMMrs. McNeillyYou people have way to much time on your hands and/or no life. See how well the formula works?

BTW: That should be "too much."

People who use this website regularly have that sort of maladroit syntax removed from their repertoire of fuckups—eventually.

 
204210/13/2007 8:51:00 PMJOIt was also mentioned that Mrs. McNeilly doesn't get why everybody is always yelling at each other in the Chatter Box. Let me address that in terms she will understand. Let's say that instead of cycling, this website was about academic acheivement, and instead of valuing conditioning and health we valued knowledge and wisdom.

Then assume that by challenging each other verbally each of us achieved levels of insight that were otherwise beyond our reach.

To turn the page back to cycling, the main concept is this. Each person is saying this, "If you were in such great shape, you'd be able to beat me, which you can't."

Fuck. She probably still doesn't get it. The dialectic is likely too subtle.

Maybe pointing out that everybody gets to have their writing reviewed, edited, and improved by one of the finest writers of our time might help.

 
204110/13/2007 8:44:00 PMJOThe Widow mentioned meeting P'man's wife. She reports that Mrs. P'man is far too cute and sophisticated for him. Who isn't? 
204010/13/2007 7:32:00 PMGeorgy GirlSlingShot,of course the Hump would be a lot more social than pecking at a keyboard, but what don't you understand about being a hermit?

Besides my honey do list was completed by 9:30am, leaving the remainder of the day for me.

A solo ride with two serious climbs at Goose Pond was very nice. No other animal was seen, or heard. The view from the top of the ridge over looking the park is one of the best places I have ever been too. The Never Ending Hill, the Up and Over, followed by the Add-On-Trail made up the 3 hour ride.

 It's one thing to be a hermit, another to be whining panzy ass'd pussy afraid of the cold. However, today Toe Clip taught me there are things worse. Less than 3 hours, but it seemed like more.

I did get all of Kissena's secret plans for next year. Unfortunately, I was so delirious most of the ride all I can remember is there was a lot of something about Palletman's ass being kicked.

 
203910/13/2007 7:25:00 PMFG...and yes, they did give me bionic parts, but my wife made me promise I wouldn't show anyone... I'm sure they ain't so big as to warrant attention. 
203810/13/2007 7:23:00 PMFGI will provide a photo of the tires, as soon as I can hobble out to the shed and dig them out.

PCP, my knee procedure went well, thanks for asking. Of course, there was more damage that had to be repaired than expected, hence the 3 week layoff. He said it looked like a yard sale in there. It didn't feel that bad yesterday, but today it feels like someone clubbed me in the knee with a tire iron. My wife keeps calling me Nancy K., and I have no idea whyyyyyyy!!!

 You are skating on thin ice my friend… skating on thin ice. 
203710/13/2007 6:35:00 PMSlingShotNote to Self: Next time you wake up on Saturday morning and it's really, really, really cold, but you hear Toe Clip Guy is going out later when it gets warmer... choose the Hump. You'll be much happier. Note to SlingShot: Stop talking to yourself. Look, I know you are hammered from your little Toe Clip ride, but you've really got to stop talking to yourself. 
203610/13/2007 3:20:00 PMddoTThat wasn't me, it must have been Todd. I've been riding like a little bitch the last few weeks, so it couldn't have been me. If you've been riding like a little bitch, then it had to be you. The Widder took a shortcut. 
203510/13/2007 2:50:00 PMJOHUMP REPORT: The Gapper and ddoT took off and would not be caught. They eventually caught one of the B riders. 'bout time. 
203410/13/2007 1:00:00 PMSlamCrankSomebody better show up at the Psych Center to check on Toe Clip. I think I will. 
203310/13/2007 10:58:00 AMToe Clip GuyPalletman… what you wrote can be construed to be an Isiah Thomas; or, back in the day, a Judge Thomas. That would require Palletman holding some primacy over the Widder… which he doesn't. She'll just kick his ass for it, and that will be that. 
203210/13/2007 10:53:00 AMToe Clip GuyOK, OK, sorry for screwing up the protocol.

I'll start out at home (or not), pass thru the Middletown Psych Center (Slingshot's old long time residence I think) at about 12:30pm, maybe do a couple of circuits there while I wait and see if anyone shows up, then proceed to do the Bicycle Doctor's route thru Mount Hope, Otisville.

We can shorten the ride as needed (a good detour would be a left turn onto 211 at Otrisville instead of the right turn leading thru the town and that hill). Willing to play it by ear.

Mileage about 30 or less.

Be there or be square! (Have a good safe ride otherwise)

 Toe Clip is ride leader for the Hump today, and it will be held later in the day, at a totally different location. A new record will be set. Just thank your lucky stars it's not in Brooklyn. 
203110/13/2007 9:40:00 AMGeorgy GirlFG, I have made a set of tires like you have described only to fail miserably in the basic premise that they should hold air. The OTH gang rides at Stewart's snow mobile trails as well. The roofless building provides lots of opportunities to ride on ice.

Your knee tales brings back not so fond memories as my knee was severely damaged while trying to prove my manhood to myself in 1972. By 1973 the right knee was replaced and part of the physical therapy was bike riding. The rest is self evident. Good luck with your knee rehabilitation.

Sling is correct at 40 degrees F ambient temperature I will wait to ~ 10 am and then ride at the "Goose" on the trail that gave the OTH gang their name. Any interested parties can plan on a ~ 3 hour tour of lovely Sugar Loaf Mountain. My truck will be parked at the Laroe road entrance. You will be hard pressed to miss a Chevy step side with a full flame job. Be there or be square.

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Apparently a long post here is a lot easier than showing up for the fucking Hump, and it means just as little. 
203010/13/2007 9:36:00 AMPalletmanBlack Widow, it's 38 degrees at 6:36 am. Might want to consider that padded bra to keep those bad boys warm today. Yur nuts. 
202910/13/2007 1:41:00 AMToe Clip GuyOn another matter my folks: Is there anyone looking to do a mid-day ride tomorrow? Perhaps someone looking to extend their Hump beating to beat me down. I kinda need a group ride fix, and thinking on starting from anywhere around 12:30. (Soccer has me locked down in the morning)… If no takers, it's ok. (Bah humbug!) The ARC standard for this sort of thing is to state where you are starting, how long the ride will be, and the time of start. Then end it with, "Be there or be square."

After that go do the ride and hope somebody else shows up.

You know, tomorrow morning is going to be fucking cold, so there might be bail outs of people who believe (as of this evening) they will actually do the Hump.

Of course, there's always the little matter that nobody ever reads this page.

 
202810/12/2007 10:41:00 PMPCPFG - can you share some gory details? What did they find w/ the scoping? Did they give you any bionic parts? Stop trying to confuse him. He'll start thinking somebody gives a shit about his personal well being. Wait… this impacts on how much of an ass kicking he'll be handing me…

FG, just what were those results?

 
202710/12/2007 8:33:00 PMSlamCrankFuckin' FG. Gets us all excited about his homemade tires... then no fucking photo! The fucker. 
202610/12/2007 7:26:00 PMFGTodd, last time I inquired, Cyclesport Cycle Center in Park Ridge, NJ would not do a fitting unless you bought the bike at their shop, but that was a few years ago. And believe it or not, George at Dark Horse has taken several instructional seminars, and does a formidable job with fit. He is perfectly capable.

Georgy, I feel winter riding is excellent as well, but only use my homemade studded tires which I made quite a few years ago out of a set of WTB Velociraptors, and a shitload of #2 panhead screws. Have you ever ridden on a frozen lake? It is a "must try," if you haven't. For snow, I usually just run about 15 psi, on the tracks left by the snowmobiles at Stewart. I like to go out with the Dark Horse gang.

My riding will be severly limited for a few weeks, as I had my knee scoped today, so no Hump or MTB for me for 2-3 weeks.

 Uhh… FG, if you're going to go around referring people to places, you might like to include a link for their convenience. Here, let me do it for you. >>>EXTRA
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202510/12/2007 5:21:00 PMTodd Thanks guys. We were just handed a note through the PSL attesting that Cyclesport Cycle Center, Parkridge, NJ is very good for cutom fittings. Here's a link. >>>EXTRA
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201110/12/2007 1:56:00 PMToe Clip GuyTodd, I think I believe you when you state this is a serious question, especially since you probably just saw the photo with the corn sticking from the seatpost and may have decided you want the same affect. However, yours is a loaded question; and the otherwise easy answer can NOT be offered here, for doing so would cause a rash of activity and the webmaster here would probably feel the brunt of it. So to spare him, me and everyone else the wrath of those Dooby smoking, Kaka breathing NUTsucking, Yakoffs, I would seriously suggest you post your question elsewhere. Try NYCC.org for reasonable offers to your question. It may lead to the same answer! Have a good ride.  Actually, Bethel Cycles is our current recommendation. See the link below.

One should expect the same jump in performance with a great fitting (as apposed to what you will get from The Bicycle Doctor, Joe-Fix-It's, or Dark Horse, etc) similar to the jump in performance provided by purchasing high-end wheels over your typical local bike store race wheels… that is to say, unless you have a really fucked up body, you're going to be hard pressed to notice a difference. Can't hurt though.

 
201010/12/2007 1:45:00 PMToddLet me first say that this is a real question, so please no ball breaking if at all avoidable. I would like to have a professional fit me to my bike (or the other way around). If you know anybody who does a good job, and won't give me a hard time about where I bought my bike, it would be appreciated. Also, an estimated cost would be great. Thanks everyone! We used to know someone, but they gave up on fittings as a way of life. Currently we are suggesting Bethel Cycles, until somebody sends us verifiable negative feedback.EXTRA
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200910/12/2007 11:35:00 AMUPSSomebody tell Dangerous that the Boss of everyone sent his saddle over.EXTRA
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200810/12/2007 10:24:00 AMPalletmanKevin, I'll be with you. If I seem to ride a little funny, it's because I'm still getting use to the new bung hole you ripped me last week.   
200710/12/2007 9:42:00 AMGeorgy GirlThe OTH gang looks forward to winter rides. There are very near perfect days when the snow is similar to riding on light mud. I run a 1.9" wide with 3/4" long rubber spiked rear tire, & 2.5" wide WTB "V knobbed" front tire. With plastic bags on my feet to keep wetness out this combination provides good traction and fashion statements inclusively.

With too cold or very slippery conditions my training regimen changes to riding rollers, on my road bike, while watching Truck, and Tractor pull DVDs

   
200610/11/2007 10:13:00 PMDangerousI am with you, K"db"H! I believe Humberto may know a good source of butt hole corn cobs, in case you want to get started on your winter training right away. 
200510/11/2007 9:27:00 PMBossHere's the plan: Everybody get behind Sling so that he can pull for the whole Hump. Then on the final straight, we'll show HIM how to "slingshot past" the locomotive. Or better yet, we'll have him pull the complete way, so many articles will be posted about the snow in New Orleans, and the new Hump speed record. As soon as the corn cob for Dangerous Dan's seat arrives, we can let the winter games begin.EXTRA
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200410/11/2007 7:05:00 PMJoYou don't need Zipp wheels to break the slowest record.

Zipp your mouth…

   
200310/11/2007 6:43:00 PMK"db"HTomorrow I'll put my Zipp wheels on, and Saturday we smash the old hump speed record again.

Who's with me?

   
200210/10/2007 5:21:00 PMToe Clip GuyHey, I just heard the road races and track events in next year's Bejing Olympics will be done wearing gas masks. Slingshot, have you been practicing donning yours? Ready? I'm always in the Widder's draft. It's a way of life.

BTW: Is this your way of starting up a bunch of whining trying to get people to go race with you in China?

 
200110/10/2007 2:33:00 PMARC Reality Show Media GroupChuckie has agreed to allow us a peek at his new reality series: "Survivor Boy." So here it is, fresh from the untamed outback >>>EXTRA
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There's something odd about it. 
200010/10/2007 12:26:00 PMBossYes, do you have a problem with that? No, I don't have a problem with it, but the Boss certainly will. 
199910/10/2007 11:48:00 AMBossWhat is going on around here? Boss?... of everyone? 
199810/10/2007 11:42:00 AMSlamCrankSlingShot, things have gotten pretty boring around here since you shut up. You'd better say something to piss off that naïve slimy little baby faced newbie Todd again. Try this: What's the hardest thing about being a tri-athlete? [Telling your parents you're gay.] Ok 
199710/10/2007 11:20:00 AMGeorgy GirlAnd will the real Georgy Girl please get back in the tub.   
199610/10/2007 10:20:00 AMddoTNice dig pretty boy. Point taken.   
199510/10/2007 12:30:00 AMJOThe mystery is solved, and no I don't mean to just point out the obvious—that Cranky has been skimming again.

Apparently what actually happened was Kevin DB Pooper hooked up with that group of poseurs after which he exclaimed in the parking lot, "I just had my record slowest Hump of 21.5."

The person reporting only heard, "Record Hump 20 5."

SlingShot, things have been going along rather swimmingly without your input; so, despite your recent major success of pretending to be Georgy Girl, please keep your fat fucking mouth shut!

 Ok 
199410/9/2007 11:36:00 PMPCPGeez… I go away for a few days and the air waves go to crap. What is all of this bickering about mph's. Kevin, settle this once and for all. What was your speed on Saturday??

One thing I can say about wheels - Bianchi did some work on mine a few weeks ago and said the bearings were way too tight on the Shimano's and impeding them from spinning freely. Hence why Cranky was Cranky in September.

On another topic, I also just purchased Mavic wheels to keep up with the boys. Although, call me stupid, but isn't the way to keep up with the boys in the woods to keep the testosterone and back off the estrogen? And yes, Georgy, that is exactly how I do the tub. On most given Saturday afternoons you will find me in the whirlpool tub stretching out the post hump kinks.

   
199310/9/2007 11:31:00 PMPretty BoyGood luck with the black jersey. We'll look back and let you know if you're any faster.   
199210/9/2007 10:51:00 PMParisOooh!!! Georgy!!! Shut up. You are not the Boss of everyone. 
199110/9/2007 10:42:00 PMGeorgy GirlAh, yes. Nothing like an hour long soak in a tube full of bubbles. The water is cold, and the keyboard is wet. My Team Estrogen black jersey is ordered, along with a new set of Mavic mountain bike wheels. This should help me keep up with the boys Sunday. FG will never show—for fear of having the OTH gang show him up.   
199010/9/2007 9:48:00 PMGeorgy GirlYou know, I got home from work today and decided it was time to pamper myself. I took out the bath oils and scented candels, then placed all my crystals around the house just so. I got in the tub, put on some music, settled back and thought, "This must be just how Cranky does it. This is better than mountain biking."

Life is good.

 Jeesus cripes, Georgy. Shut the fuck up already. Back off on the estrogen a little. 
198910/9/2007 9:12:00 PMSlamCrankThere ya go, SlingSnot. People hear you're going to be gone for a couple hours and all hell breaks loose. What ya gonna do 'bout this shit!? I'll just edit in some capitals and not even bother responding. I wouldn't be able to improve on it anyway.  
198810/9/2007 8:37:00 PMOut of the Trunk Sales ManBrand new DKNY racing gear for sale—at no cost to you   
198710/9/2007 8:19:00 PMTurtle boyHello, Mr Gapper!

Thank you so much for all the hard work you did at last Saturday's Hump. You almost caught that record breaking front group.

I am sorry for not doing much work, but I had my teammates in that record breaking front group, so my job was just blocking.

   
198610/9/2007 8:00:00 PMddoTDamn you, now you ruined it. I see where you got your name from. So what were they? Can I buy them from you, if they will make me faster? Anything not to have to train harder will help. I bought a black jersey for this Saturday, so we'll see if that works. Thanks again for shooting holes in my barely visible credibility.   
198510/9/2007 7:04:00 PMK"db"HI try never to let the truth get in the way of a good story, but… I don't own a set of Easton wheels.   
198410/9/2007 6:39:00 PMddoTI wasn't saying that the wheelset would have made the difference, but it would have been a clear indication that he meant business and was going for a "Hump Record."

If I really thought that a set of Zipp's would make me 3 mph faster than I am capable of riding, don't you think I would have a set on my ride?

Again, stop pissing me off. Have a nice ride this afternoon.

   
198310/9/2007 5:54:00 PMSlingShotGotta go now. On my way to Harriman to watch the BLASTER pretend that beating me means he can ride. Why don't you get off your fucking computer and ride enough that it can't happen, and he'll have to own up to reality. 
198210/9/2007 3:44:00 PMToe Clip GuyOH! HOW I LOVES THIS SPORT!... and everything related to it! Can I get a witness?! Hooyah, or whatever it is you guys say. 
198110/9/2007 2:46:00 PMddoTNice apology. Now, let me tell you something. You may think I'm some worthless little newbie dipshit, but I pay some serious attention as to who's who and what they are doing. As soon as I saw this 25 mph avg. horseshit, I cried foul, because I saw Kevin before the ride Saturday, and I remember taking note that he had a set of Easton "training" wheels on his Serotten, and not the Zipps that I've seen him ride before. If he pulled a 25 avg. with those on, then he has no right riding in America with the rest of us. I'll buy him a ticket to Europe. Don't doubt me again, and stop pissing me off. Thanks for proving you are indeed a little newbie dipshit, fuckhead. If you have bought into the bullshit about how a simple change in wheels is going to make or break your ride (given the really stupendously small advantage any wheelset has over any other wheelset), then there's not much hope for you.

Next time you buy wheels, demand all manufacturers provide you with wind tunnel and drag coefficient tests. Of course they'll just say, "Well, the real world won't be anything like we could test for. Also, in Europe we are not allowed to say anything bad about our competition, therefore, we never publish those specs."

In any case, thanks for helping me sort through something that was reported to me by a disinterested third party, who will from now on be flagged as a gullible nincompoop who is willing to listen to anything that is said in a parking lot if it comes from somebody wearing a hard hat and carrying a clip board, so to speak.

My own orientation to the speed of the Hump comes from several years ago when I started hearing large numbers and decided to check. The front rider then (a 16 year old with significant talent) was bright enough to want to know for himself. I hooked him up with a stopwatch and explained to forget his bike computer and just give me the "actual time, line to line," then I went out in the car and the truck (three times each) and recorded the distance of the Hump.

My spreadsheet calculations based on his reported times put his rides at consistently just over 24 mph avg. They tell me things have improved since then, but I wonder. Thanks again for the help. Glad to see you can discern the difference between a fashion statement and a team.

 
198010/9/2007 1:48:00 PMddotHey Pallet- please refrain from sending Humberto back to make us work like dogs. If we wanted to ride faster, we would, but we don't, so leave the pokers alone. Jeesus. Can't I even check the weather maps to see when I should ride today without more stuff coming into this worthless chatter shack.

I just posted an apology for you below.

 
197910/9/2007 1:27:00 PMPalletmanNice try Sling Blades. If I give away all the team secrets my teamates won't show up for the race I'm desginated to peak for next season. See, I've already given away to much. Just as I knew: no performance requirement, no training commitment, no skills needed, no race schedule, no short-term goals, no long-term goals, no credentialed coaching staff, no team leader. Just a willingness to wear the makeup. The sad thing is that some kids might look at the makeup and believe it means something.

Sorry, Todd, it looks like you were right. We heard there was a record set, but that was just somebody relaying parking lot chatter. Dave Freifelder wasn't even there to make it interesting, and Kevin had a nice day off pretending to work with a team. Well, I guess Kevin deserves a break.

 
197810/9/2007 11:46:00 AMPalletmanSlingShot, perhaps you missed the memo, but Mr. Haley was in fact in black this past Saturday. How do you think he rode so fast? Working "together" with his teamates, of course. Mr. Haley rode surprisingly strong after several weeks of rest and relaxation. Oh, good. Finally somebody decided it's something that might be talked about. Just how bad did Kevin kick your asses, now that he's decided to retire from cycling and become a big fish in a small pond? Just what was that average?

Where was Dave Freifelder?

Could you even see Kevin at the end?

And while we've got you here maybe you can answer the other burning questions: what Time Trial Time was required over what distance to become a member, and what sort of commitment to what kind of training schedule is expected, plus how many team workouts focusing on tactical skills and group effort are required to remain in the kit, so to speak. Also how many and what races are you guys mandated to show up for, and what are the team goals for the year and over the long term. Who is the coaching staff, and what other successful teams have they handled? Who is the designated hitter?

Why does Toe Clip Guy keep kicking your ass?

Why do you all wear so much makeup?

 
197710/9/2007 3:18:00 AMToe Clip GuyOUCH!...OUCH!!...OUCH!!!!!!! But that was well deserved! Didn't know F.I.T. had it so good. (ummn?).

OK, so when will you bury that file?

 That file is important to show the kids. Look who it pulled out of the woodwork above. 
197610/8/2007 11:27:00 PMToe Clip GuyPlease, Sir, but may we have more accurate reality here? The founder of those Douchebags… Kaka-eating… Nucklehead… Yakoffs did her formal training at the Parsons School of Design, NOT, I repeat NOT, F.I.T, as the former is a true upscale school for designers and such, while the latter is more of an upgraded trade school. It's almost like comparing a Harvard Law degree to one from Pace… I mean come on! You gotta give them credit. What other team would have known that the "in" color for team kits this year would be black?

Had she been from F.I.T., the color scheme for the race kit would have been at least a year behind the trend.

Now for actual racing: I saw one of those guys yesterday in Brooklyn attempt a break with a couple of guys from other teams, and we quickly reeled in him and his unattached cohorts quickly.

So without a team to assist, these Designer-Klad' racers are, sorry for saying—run of the mill.

 Run of the mill at best. Those who are skimming should review paragraph 3 of post #1969 in order to know why this is true, and will remain true.

As for the F.I.T. error, it is partly because I wanted to hand some creds to one of my old Alma Maters (not that I degreed or anything), and partly because I would place a degree from Pace (or OCCC for that matter) beside any Ivy League degree on the planet. I know lots of people from those esteemed high-end institutions, and I can assure you that mileage definitely varies.

I am sorry to point out that you seem to be laboring under the mistaken belief that the founder of the black is somebody else, and not in fact Paris Hilton who has never attended anything resembling a school of any sort.

Just because somebody whores their name out and allows it slobbered onto any sweaty piece of Lycra that happens by, it doesn't mean they have founded a fucking thing.

And just because one can always find a group of people who feel so little pride in their own name that they will easily take on another's name in order to gain a small feeling of worth, well that is what it is.

Otherwise, what you say is totally true. However, for the Todd'lers among us, your statements may require some certification. So allow me the honor.

Mr. ddoT, I am sure you are aware that the statements made over there on the left are coming from someone whom you would only hope to ever ride with for any length of time, so to impress ever more strongly previous statements regarding how the front group (you've heard of) is actually severely lagging the true front group, I have provided a link to a visual aid.

The video linked at right shows an early season Hump from this very spring. It is also rather early in the Hump itself (about 12 miles in), and the first person into the frame is Kevin Douchebag Haley. Next into the frame is a group containing many of the people whom newbies such as yourself have been persuaded can ride, which is pretty easy to do, because newbies are never within eye shot in order to see the truth.

Last into the frame, and finally dropping his head in frustration, is the very selfsame Toe Clip Guy who has just given you valuable news from the front in this post at left.

More than likely he is off the back because he just lead a two mile charge trying to catch Kevin… which nobody ever did. But to be fair, they probably gave up some time after Kevin quit toying with their affections and vanished from sight on Ridgebury.

By the time this sort of scenario (as shown on the video) reaches the Early Bird Special near the end of the Hump the distances have become miles, not yards. Don't forget: that fellow dropping his head off the back (early in the Hump, well before the serious intent ensues) and more recently (over on the left) relaying a message about what happens to one of those poseurs when confronted by an actual team, well, that is somebody you could only hope to ride with. >>>

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197510/8/2007 10:05:00 PMFGHA! Nice dig! Now it's your job to explain to him that the people he is being told are fast, aren't even in the ride. If he doesn't straighten up, we're going to take away his steroids. 
197410/8/2007 10:04:00 PMddoTAAAH… you're full of shit. I was seeing black so far into that ride that there's no fucking way they yanked up into a +24 avg. in the short time that was left. If they did in fact do that, then my computer is fucked, and I was probably into the 23's. As for the "early bird special," what time? Nah, that would be no fun, because I like to stand around and make fun of the people who go out early, just before I depart with the ultra pokers. Now, I'm so pissed off I think I'm going to throw out my running shoes and my swimsuit and just concentrate on this biking mumbo jumbo. And where in the hot ass October sun were Cranky, Download, Catskill John?????? Kevin would not have been in black. And of course black is considered the way back and is being run by Paris Hilton. Like I keep saying, the people you consider AA's aren't even in contention. Of course, the ultra pokers you ride with are never going to tell you that. They probably don't even know.

You'd best go back and review paragraph 3 of the response to post #1969. This time read for content.

 
197310/8/2007 9:04:00 PMddoTHey shot- as far as I know, the bulk of the first group on the Hump was a 21.5, the next group (Gapper, Humberto, and the guy on the Colnago) were at 21.4, and the group I was in was a 21.2 avg. You asked earlier, I think, but I was away for a few days and just got home. Mark me as guilty of skimming. Talk about skimming. At least you are consistent in missing the memo about how that group you consider AA's are generally a few groups behind the front group. And just because Humberto is slumming it with the Gapper, don't get confused. An under 24 avg for the true front group would be pretty rare at this point. Some day you should come out with the Early Bird Special, so you can observe first hand the truly incredible distance between the groups. Maybe it's too late in the year already. 
197210/8/2007 4:48:00 PMGeorgy GirlKevin, to answer your question: 3 flats in total, with one spare tube not holding air, plus a hardened glue in the patch kit equaled 2 riders walking out.

I went to get my truck so still got a normal ride in. The OTH gang has got to get more reliable equipment.

The next time I see you, I shall fully extend my arms upward and bend deeply at the waist in awe. The only person faster than you that I have been close to is Rick Mears.

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Good lord. First Caliper Girl. Now Georgy Girl. That's it. There'll be no bending at the waist on this website!

Kevin, if you would please just keep those calves under wraps.

Hmmm, Wikipedia… Now there's a reliable source of information.

Actually, I do believe Georgy has also been near Humberto, Joe Straub, Dave Freifelder, Heather Lebanc, Iron Mike, Glenn Babikian and others of that ilk, so no need for Douchebag Haley to get his chamois all in a wad.

 
197110/8/2007 1:18:00 PMSlamCrankSlingShot, I've heard rumor that your precognitive and extra sensory faculties are at full strength. So it appears. 
197010/8/2007 12:35:00 PMKevin db HaleyGlad to see your group got back ok, Georgy Girl. How many flats was that? I continued on to Cherry Ridge Rd, over to Banker trail and finished up on Double Pond for a nice endo free 2 hours. Not bad for a guy who apparently set a new land speed record at the Hump the previous day. Holy unicycling bat shit, the IP checks out. This is in fact the great one himself who can pretty much show up with a knife at any gunfight and slice, dice, or scallop bullets in mid-flight if it pleases him.

Just how fast was that Hump nobody is saying a word about? Plus how do you like your new digs after bailing out on an actual team merely because all they wanted to talk about was racing?

Well, at least they got you in shape to run roughshod over a bunch of poseurs.

BTW: I was adding a section below about what it takes to call a group a team at the very moment you were posting this.

BTW Georgy: This is in fact a Skylands rider, some might say the Skylands rider, but most (his mother especially) call him Douchebag… with misguided dreams of riding for Paris Hilton. It is unlikely he was put off in the least over your manicure. It was probably just a case of you not looking fast enough to bother with.
 
196910/8/2007 10:06:00 AMGeorgy GirlSling, no Skylands jersey was worn, the rider claimed to be affiliated with that group of blurred riders, and did mention his name which escapes my mind, as many minutes of very technical riding ensued shortly afterwards.  Still… never heard of any Skyline riders while the front group is always Skylands… when they are on the Hump with serious intent.

There is that so called team from The Fashion Institute of Technology led by Paris Hilton, but their goal is more geared to looking like a team than it is to actually engaging in competitive behavior.

If you ever see one, ask them what Time Trial Time was required over what distance to become a member, and what sort of commitment to what kind of training schedule is expected, plus how many team workouts focusing on tactical skills and group effort are required to remain in the kit, so to speak. You might also inquire as to how many and what races they are mandated to show up for, and what are the team goals for the year and over the long term. Maybe ask who their coaching staff is. You might add an aside as to who handles their promotions in a way to get them kicked off the world's preeminent competitive cycling website.

Of course, you've probably heard by now that Kevin Douchebag Haley just set a Hump record, 25+ or thereabouts.

 
196810/8/2007 12:06:00 AMMrs. GapperSlingshot: Thanks for closing our car door. I was going crazy all day trying to figure out how that dog treat got on my seat. BTW, my dogs thank you, too. Thank the Widder for the BegginStrip. She does odd things, at odd times, and I don't try to keep track anymore. 
196710/7/2007 11:08:00 PMPCPWhat the heck then. Is she playing hard to get? She has not been on a hump in 3 weeks. Can Kim come out and play? On second thought, it sounds like Slingshot is playing hard to get. Download who(?), my ass! Sorry, PCP, the Widder has given me explicit instructions. I am never to download your ass. 
196610/7/2007 8:26:00 PMCatskill JohnSlingShot, FYI Download Kim asked about five questions today about who you are, and what you're about. I think she might be attracted to you. Download who? 
196510/7/2007 4:52:00 PMGeorgy GirlAn unnamed Skyline rider was spotted of all places on the Rattle Snake trail of Wawayanda riding a hardtail. This is similar to bringing a knife to a gunfight, but that is a whole other post.

The alleged Skyline rider claimed to participate weekly on The Hump, know both the Widder and SlingShot. I can add that he was very familiar with PSL members. Sling, I have no other clues since the rider never offered his name. My manicured nails must have scared him off.

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Nice link to the Waywayanda website. Attract 'em with a link, and then scare 'em away with fashion statements. Nice plan.

As for who the mystery rider could have been, there is Tri-Mike to name just one, but I've never seen him in a known jersey. Actually, I've never seen anybody in a Skyline jersey. Did it look anything like a Skylands jersey?

It certainly wouldn't have been Kevin Haley, because he's surely taking a break after setting a new Hump record average at some number of tenth's over 25 mph.

Editor's Note: In the future, anybody wondering about someone's identity might try the following.

[Ok, maybe you will find this a little extreme, but you could always wear a hard hat and carry a clipboard while using this technique, or maybe a lab coat and a slide rule.]

Here it is:

Stand directly in front of the person, look them in the eye, and recite the arcane incantation, "What's your name?"

DISCLAIMER: This magic spell is powerful medicine and must never be used against persons under the age of 18 years. In fact, ARC standard guidelines suggest never speaking a single word to anyone under the age of 18. The guidelines go on to suggest confirmation through a third party (never rely on mere credential) to assure the person is in fact 18, preferrably over… much over. Nothing more will be said of this.

ADDENDUM: Did anybody notice that Kevin Haley set a new Hump record of 25+ mph or something like that?

 
196410/7/2007 2:16:00 PMJO
SPEED ALERT
Yesterday Kevin Douchebag Haley set a new record for the Hump. We don't know just how fast it was (25+ avg or so), nor are we even sure he did it, because nobody's talking about it.
 
Since nobody's talking about it, it has to be true.
 
196310/6/2007 6:37:00 PMGeorgy GirlYes, Sling, the fog did scare me but not back into the woods. I did a single rider Tour de Warwick.

I started out twice this morning: once for the EBS, and once for that other ride that leaves an hour later. Both times the wet fog drove me back home.

In any case, the only time I ever try to kick someone's ass is when I get egged on, and my mind reverts back to the old days of "push push must be in the lead."

 Oh, the egging would have been done.

Now all we can do is point out what a pussified fog avoiding fraidy cat you are. On the other hand, I spent the whole first hour of the Hump brushing the wet from my glasses and thinking how supremely stupid it was to be riding on roads that we were afraid to take our car on.

However, there was some good come of it: BLASTER kicked the Widder's ass. But it would have been nice to have somebody there who could be triggered into kicking BLASTER's ass.

 
196210/6/2007 1:42:00 PMSlingShotSomebody tell the Gapper that his driver side car door was wide open when we got back from the Early Bird Special. SlingShot shut it but also made sure both doors were unlocked before doing so, just in case the Gapper's keys were left inside.

If the Gapper got back and couldn't figure out why both doors were unlocked... that's the story on that.

 Well... I'm not going to talk to myself on this one. 
196110/6/2007 1:39:00 PMJOBLASTER KICKED WIDDER'S ASS! BIGTIME! 
196010/6/2007 10:22:00 AMPalletmanSlingShot, I see you must have started to back off your training… now leaving an hour ahead of the Hump start instead of your usual 1/2 hour. Have another dougnut! Ok. Actaully, I was counting on Georgy Girl to show up and kick BLASTER's ass. Guess the fog scared her back into the woods. 
195910/6/2007 1:11:00 AMSUSHINo more Paris Hilton girl-shit!

Cycling only. And have a great time at the Hump tomorrow!

Is Paris Hilton doing the Hump?

 I believe Paris Hilton is on another vacation, or in rehab, or something. I don't think they will let her out for the Hump. 
195810/6/2007 12:24:00 AMSUSHIShop at the girls' store, or maybe get a life. Or maybe she'll go over her school tax bill again. 
195710/5/2007 11:25:00 PMSUSHIDear American Road Cycling,

Cycling please!

 Why? You afraid Paris Hilton won't have anything to do on her day off? 
195610/5/2007 11:01:00 PMGeorgy GirlPlease accept my apology for bringing politics into this forum. I just cannot comprehend the difference between anybody. We must all coexist in this world. Nobody with half a brain can comprehend it. BTW: Next time wait for my response before apologizing, especially when none is needed. 
195510/5/2007 10:55:00 PMGeorgy Girl

Before Sept. 26, ENDA was the proud product of some hard battles won by a unified coalition of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) activists and advocates. ENDA seeks to protect civil rights so fundamental -- and so fundamentally American -- that it seems absurd we are still haggling over this in late 2007. ENDA simply states that it is illegal to discriminate against or fire someone because of the employee’s sexual orientation or gender identity.

You mean to say that LGBT people would be allowed to keep their jobs and make a living and be themselves and be able to access life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness -- just like everybody else around them? What a radical concept!

I beg you to please take a few moments from your life and show your support for ALL people's rights—not just mine. Please sign the petition in the attached link. The Democratic Congressional leadership that includes Barney Frank and Nancy Pelosi have decided to exclude trangendered humans from their anti—discrimination bill.

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JEESUS FUCK GEORGY! You seem to have mistaken this forum for a group of people who give a rat's ass.

My own experience petitions is that I couldn't get my fucking neighbors to sign one about local signage—even after they went out of their way to get me to put my ass on the line for it, and even after I allowed that they could write it themselves, and I would sign theirs.

It's unlikely anybody is going to bother to sign that petition, and here's why.

Apparently the problem stems from all the LGBT people who have consistently shown they are conflicted about their sexuality.

That causes them to be confused regarding things like this, which explains why they are now surprised to find politicians fucking them in the ass again, and again, again.

Oh, by the way. Your tax dollar is still being used to fund an illigitimate war, against people you don't even know. Statistically speaking, a lot of those people getting bombed, shot, and tortured, are also LGB, and/or T.

 
195410/5/2007 10:47:00 PMTurtle boyMan!!

It is slow around here! It's like riding with Paris Hilton!!!!!

 No it's not. It may be slow enough, but nobody attacked a little power climb somewhere out in the middle of nowhere, and called it important. 
195310/5/2007 10:18:00 PMToe Clip GuyIt wasn't me!

For the record I only speak in faulty formal english, Old Corps Marine, and I sometimes speak in Spick!

OK, NOE HEAR THIS: Wantagh, Long Island, tomorrow, mid-morning.

Can I ask a stupid question one last time for the year?

 1) Nobody said it was you, and nobody's keeping a record.

2) You must have missed the memo. The Hump, Early Bird Special 8:00 am.

3) No you may not. It is too early in the year for one last stupid question. You have time for a dozen or so more—at minimum.

 
195210/4/2007 4:03:00 PMGeorgy GirlPCP, and in "patois" is the clue to the mystery writer, but not the definition.  I'll have to get to the bottom of this. I'll bet she cant. 
195110/4/2007 1:58:00 AMPCPHey! If you are going to post as me, at least use words I know. Geesh, I have to look up my own posting in Webster's. So why, out of all the banana eaters in all of the entire world of PSL, is Chuckie the only one that ate the banana without peeling it? Safe banana. Chuckie's no idiot. 
195010/3/2007 8:11:00 PMPCPI demand royalties for ARC stealing my patois and ascribing it to Georgy Girl in the PSL Chuckie article. Be our guest. Demand all you want. 
194910/3/2007 3:31:00 PMFG...still waiting on the play by play of Chuckie's visit... Here. >>>EXTRA
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194810/3/2007 3:30:00 PMFGSheesh! Will you two get a room already! Tell me about it. 
194710/3/2007 2:15:00 PMToe Clip GuyHey, Cranky, I miss you tooooooo! Tell Slingshot that before he escapes to winter camp down south, I'm gonna tear him a new…. (Oh, never mind. That'll just inspire him to train harder……)

With regards to fuel efficient cars: would you believe I had a Honda Civic with the VTEC engine tweeked for efficiency--It got 55mpg easily for a very long time. By the time I got rid of it, I logged 250G plus miles, and it was still getting over 40mpg. I don't understand all this brouhaha about hybrids that can get 40+

 Exactly. Nor all this brouhaha in total disregard of the fact that gas and oil is yesterday. 
194610/3/2007 9:22:00 AMGeorgy Girl

Sling, BMW has lead the pack with Hydrogen Fuel Cars since 1995. We have been running one car non-stop from LA to NY, and its sister from NY to LA. These cars have been replaced, but the point is BMW knows the longevity of the Hydrogen operated engine.

Breast Cancer also benefits with our Drive for the Cure, a dollar is donated To Susan B Koman for every test driven mile in our full line promotion fleet that people sign the bodies and then drive the vehicles.

My Gallery visit was a nice addition to an excellent day. Thanks for making me smile. I was able to complete my ride just as darkness came. Great timing for a perfect day's end, Now how do I string a few of these in a row?

 Now, if only gas stations would catch on. I guess we have to wait for the oil companies to run out of bullets and targets, before we can make the change over.

What would one call the equivalent of genocide, but perpetrated against anybody with oil under their feet?

Gasocide?

 
194510/3/2007 12:54:00 AMPCPToe Clipper - of course we missed you as well, but given your soccer schedule, we likely won't see you until April. I must say though, Sunday was a Toe Clip type paceline. You would have enjoyed it. Take that, motherfucker! Now how do you feel about missing the ride? 
194410/2/2007 10:29:00 PMFGHendrix is playing? Where? Chuckie was here. Who cares? 
194310/2/2007 1:13:00 PMTurtle BoyMy dog just ate a whole apple pie. Is he going to die? Absolutely. That was MY pie! 
194210/2/2007 8:57:00 AMGeorgy GirlToe Clip Guy, don't forget Sling moonlights as the editor of the Daily Planet, and the Punkin Turd. These responsabilities leave little time for the WSJ. Not to mention he reads the "Conservative Chronicles" letter by letter. Un-fucking believable. Something incredibly funny from GG—and also relevant. It's almost as if she read what you other people wrote. Un-fucking believable.

The best part was seeing her go to bat for TCG with regard to his self inflicted SlingShot wound.

I'm tempted to post another link to the BMW logo on the Sponsor's (NOT) page, not just because GG went all hilarious on us, but mostly because: not only has BMW done the right thing vis-à-vis Georgy, more specifically they are currently running the first serious Hydrogen Fuel Car big-time TV commercials.

Ahead of the fucking curve my friends… ahead of the fucking curve.

 
194110/2/2007 12:42:00 AMToe Clip GuyPCP, What about me?? TCG, What about you? 
194010/2/2007 12:39:00 AMToe Clip GuyPalletman, Slingshot is unavailable for the WSJ as he already has a more prestigous gig with Bicycling Magazine. He happens to be the ghost writer for "Style Man." That's right. I do all the stuff that is meant for Sharon to read. 
193910/2/2007 12:36:00 AMddoTI opted for a hike in Sterling Forest with my wife, daughter, and niece. It was a beautiful day, but as we rode by Little York Road and the wine-o-ree sign, I missed you guys. I would put up a picture of me, and the little hiker folks, but I so don't know how to do it. Help! This should really be a seminar, but here's the quick summary.

If the photo exists online it's very easy to post a link. Just point your browser to wherever the photo is and copy/paste the URL into either the USER'S LINK or SHOT'S LINK in the Chatter Box submittal form.

If the photo does not exist online, you should probably figure out how to use MySpace, YouTube, or Facebook, or something like that, because they are set up to accept photos onto their servers, and they have worked hard at making it easy for absolutely anybody to post photos.

In fact, they've made it easy for people who really shouldn't even be posting pictures to do it—such as kids who haven't a clue about why they shouldn't even be looking at the Internet, let alone adding to it.

I could give you a convoluted series of steps to get a photo added to the Chatter Box, but all that information would be relevant only to this one little page, and the restrictions would be so severe as to make it worthless anyway. Plus it would mean more work for me, and I don't need any more work. I've got plenty on my own.

If it was something really important, you could always send it as an attachment to an e-mail directly to the PSL, and ARC would post it for you. That's how we got the Turtle Pup photo and that other stuff from the Portugreaser.

GG and FG post stuff themselves that they steal off the Internet by using the first suggestion. Go to the sight, grab the URL, and paste it into the LINK field. Afterwards, I always make a redirector page locally just so I can track if anybody ever actually clicks on the links. However, I haven't checked the website usage logs for this site in a week or so, because I'm lazy, so I don't know if anybody is doing anything anymore.

Most people posting here give all the appearances of never having heard of e-mail, so I doubt it would help to mention again how easy it is to swap photos that way.

DISCLAIMER: Slingshot has absolutely NO knowledge of YouTube, MySpace, Facebook or any of those things. He's never been there, and would (himself) never waste his time trying to figure out how to use them, and really has only heard the names enough times to be aware they might be useful. As a general rule SlingShot hates anything that is even remotely "forum-like" and still can't figure out why anybody would waste their time with such nonsense.

 
193810/2/2007 12:09:00 AMPCPddoT - We missed you yesterday. I asked the Gapper where you were, figuring you'd like to have Part II of the Gapper tutorial.

We had 2 flats, but other than that, a very smooth seven (7) person paceline groove in the front. There may still be some people in tents over at the wine-o-ree recovering from post ride festivities. A ploy to slow them down for next weekend.

 I think all those guys will still be pretty slow for next weekend. I just drove past the winery, and they are all still in their tents complaining about the mud and rain. They are still waiting for Hendrix to perform. 
193710/1/2007 10:20:00 PMPalletmanHey, Turtle Boy, it's not the information that I took that you should be concerned about… it's the other stuff that I'll save for a rainy day.

SlingShot, you may want to apply to the Wall Street Journal for an editor's job. In today's WSJ on page A22 in the Political Cartoon at the bottom of the page they were a little lax in their duties. I think some heads might role. Carpe' Diem!

 I assume you mean somebody left a fucking comma outside a quotation mark—like there's a chance in hell I would have a copy of that bullshit rag of the man in order to check out your story. You'd just as well start lying about your ride averages.

As for the thing with Humberto, I'm not sure I get it. Just why is it that you stole his raincoat?

 
193610/1/2007 7:30:00 PMPalletman F you, Turtle Boy!

The Warwick ride was great, but a little too fast for me. At the end the average was 23.9 mph.

Thank you, PCP. Great job!

 Apparently, somebody woke up enough to crawl out of the big Cranky party, but the hallucinations are unabated. 
193510/1/2007 7:19:00 PMTurtle BoyHey, Palletman, how did you get the ALARM code? What other information did you take? Let me take a look.

…no way, dude!!! Please return all the Computrainers!!

 Don't worry. Those Computrainers won't be used much. 
193410/1/2007 2:27:00 PMddoTAny highlights from the Warwick Whine-o-ree ride sunday? Eventually, somebody will finally wake up from the drunken sleep-over, drag themselves over the rest of the bodies and half empty wine bottles over at Cranky's house and file a report. 
193310/1/2007 12:01:00 PMPalletmanHey… I don't want to burst your bubble, but I just returned from Humberto's house. It appears the computer on Humberto's new Serrotta is set to KPH, not MPH. I believe that might convert to something like a 14.51 mph average. Based on the average age of those riding I would say that sounds about right. Thanks for reinforcing what we told Humberto when he shouted his average was nearing 50 mph. That clears it up for us as well, because we thought he might just be talking about his Heart Rate.

We also explained he should start getting his equipment someplace where they know how to do setup. Thanks again for your help on this matter.

 
193210/1/2007 12:02:00 PMSlamCrankWhat are you talking about? You know Humberto always finds some lame reason or another to drop off the back, just so he can get his workout in—riding back to the group of still hopeful people. I thought he was just making up an excuse to wait for me and act like I was still in the ride. 
193110/1/2007 11:36:00 AMTurtle BoySunday's ride was going very fast with an average speed of 24 mph, but then Dangerous went around the Widder and really slowed us down. Yeah, I really liked how you guys just quit at that point, and let Dangerous go on and finish by himself. Too bad about that dropped chain… too bad for Mary, that is, when you caught her afterward.

It wasn't her fault, you know? Paris made her attack: first mildly at the noise of the chain dropping, but then really for sure when you got off your bike.

 
193010/1/2007 10:21:00 AMPalletman23.4 mph? Jeez, I guess Humberto was saving himself on Saturday for Sunday's ride.  Exactly. He could have watched TV game shows and eaten hotdogs, but he decided to save himself. Sunday rides have become pretty important. Also, we don't call it the Flat 50 for nothing… and, no, that's not a reference to the Widder. 
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