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Ryan Muehlbauer - First World Record 6:23 (Crackhead Ryan) Frank Wolfe - First ever "I Puked On Kain Award" Joe Straub - World Record 5:40.79 (TP) Glenn Babikian - 6:37 (Pretty Boy) Humberto Cavalheiro - 6:54.97 (Turtle Boy) Mary Endico - 8:29 (The Black Widow) Kain Cup holder Crackhead Ryan (04/19/11)
Bob Fugett - 9:57 (SlingShot)
Kain Assault Hall of Fame
[ - the course - ]
-------------------------

"If you can't say anything good about somebody,
you probably know them pretty well."
-
SlingShot

This page is not for trash talk. Since you know the person, just tell the truth. The truth will look enough like trash talk to be indistinguishable from it. Be aware that this is a moderated site. Bad language and defamatory comments may be cause for removal. If SlingShot feels your submittal is not defamatory enough, or your language is too circumspect, your comment will be removed as boring. Also your comment may be removed if SlingShot feels like removing it. On the other hand, a comment may be allowed to remain if it serves SlingShot's greater sense of capricious malfeasance despite all other contraindications. SlingShot renders all judgments on a per submittal basis, or not.

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77747/30/2017 1:18:22 PMGuild
Publications
Department


ISBN: 978-0-9827073-1-9

Botanical Rain:
the semiotics and history
of an enduring Endico image

See literary review
in Delaware & Hudson Canvas
by Barry Plaxen








09/22/17
Now available in both spiral bound and hardcover editions.



 Well, isn't that special ...

A book about THE oldest existing working-artist's studio (40 years and counting) in quite possibly the oldest surviving artist enclave in the United States!

Extra thanks for continued efforts helping us avoid a situation such as illustrated in this South Park video clip:

It is midterm summer, so the newest round of pretend "artists" are finished making trouble for the local economy and are now blasting off to their next adventure where they will continue adding to the trope of an "arts community" without artists.

Maybe one of them will succeed at turning their life around and qualify for the Sugar Loaf University
PhD Program in Studio Arts.

Everybody else buckle down and get ready for the next onslaught, in which fresh arrivals will again fail at becoming the new boss same as the old boss.

In the meantime, I can take a break from explaining that we are merely watching yet another round of different players singing the same old song, and how the true Sugar Loaf artists don't take kindly to strangers coming into town (with outside grant money) to show us how we are doing it all wrong.

Why do startups always assume we are idiots (and broke) then refuse to listen to how they could get rich beyond their wildest dreams (like the rest of us) by just doing the right thing, following three simple steps:

1) make it yourself
2) open studio to public
3) keep full time hours

Maybe Botanical Rain will help them get it.


 
772710/14/2016 9:36:59 PMSlingShot
STRAVA
SUCKS

Mary, Strava sucks!

Well, not totally, but we now have more than enough objective data from our reliable repeatable source to confirm absolutely Strava (mostly) sucks ... at least in terms of precision training.

The on-bike data from your Queening of the Belching Widder segment today offered another clear confirmation.

The worst part of Strava is the bullshit wattage typically reported, and today was no different.

Usually Strava overstates wattage by 20 to 100 watts.

Such as for your last recorded Lake Station segment; the watts were calculated by Strava as 227 while your Powertap measured only 205.

The main thing to remember is that Strava "calculates" while Powertap "measures".

For your massive Queening today Strava reversed its standard nonsense by under calculating.

Strava calculated only 182 watts while your Powertap measured 223.

This is part of the reason you are going to eventually dust every other competitor on these segments.

They will be relying on bullshit data.

Fortunately for Cranky, she already saw the writing on the wall and has taken her ball and gone home.

Good riddance; she only ever won by using group rides and cheating anyway.

On the other hand Jocelyn seems to be doing it just right, so when the two of you get done with these segments the Queens will be unreachable for every other woman in the world ... pro or not.


 Ok, Mary, now for the training advice.

Of course, you know we are still a long way from the days you could maintain a 7 minute effort at the level of Cat 3 (for MEN), but that goal is certainly retrievable, and will be surpassed!

That was an incredible improvement you showed me today on the FMS hurdle test.

As your next step for the Belching Widder and Wid's Dem segments, you will pin down your current spin cadence and make sure it is smooth, plus do some strength workouts.

We'll do the spin tests on Hicks in order to get your spin bursts back up to 180 rpm.

We'll do the strength work on Wid's Bel which was established for that purpose.

The fact that you were able to power up to 24 mph at the bottom of this doubly Queened hill implies that with just a little work and coming onto the hill at 24 instead of under 16 like today (plus a little work on your spin), you will power past the first bump (with a 125 rpm average cadence goal), and getting over the first bump with less effort will leave you a reserve for the next bump; then at the top of the first step of the double-step you will have extra power to re-pace ... and so on and so forth.

My prediction is that by attacking the turn a little faster (now that you saw the site distance is much better than expected), you should minimally be able to take 5 seconds off Wid's Dem and 10 seconds off Belching Widder all in a single blow, and you could do it tomorrow morning if required.

But let's do a little spin and strength work first.

I am sorry I couldn't get out with you to watch your performance (and judge the smoothness of your spin), but somebody had to stay home and keep the studio open.

On the other hand, I fully understand why you had to run out on the spur of the moment to burn off the anxious energy after your successful two day effort completing that $4,000.00 custom watercolor job.

How 'bout buying me a fancy new bike with that quick down payment?

Ok, so Strava sucks for us, but it is about to start sucking a whole lot more for all those other riders (men included).

In any case, Powertap is also not without its problems which is attested by its missed recording of the 24 mph spin-up, despite your old Polar CPU showing it in real time as you tucked and started working.


 
772610/8/2016 4:41:28 PMSlingShotClarification for the person with whom I had the conversation outside the Endico studio in Sugar Loaf today: Thanks for the suggestion about a CPU upgrade for my PowerTap wheels, but I have become highly skeptical of all the "new" stuff because every time somebody suggests something and I check it out, there remains significant fundamental problems with all the devices.

I look forward to the day I find somebody who is actually using power meters for serious training, so I remain open to suggestion and maybe you're the one.


 In the meantime you will be able to attest to the fact my chapter Naturally Thin is not idle chatter.


 
77259/24/2016 5:53:50 PMWatter
Udoin
I see on Strava that there are all these segments in every direction making a big circle around your house, and Mary seems to picking them off randomly one by one.

What are all those strands of ride loops called?


 
WIDDER'S WEB!

You never know when you're gonna step on a sticky one, get stung, and 'eht.


 
77249/10/2016 1:43:44 PMSlingShotWidder,

Here is why (as for my religion) that I am a proud Edu-byterian, or possibly an Episcollegian.

Yesterday while looking for running psych-ups, I ran across this study maxim.

"Don't study until you get it right. Study until you can't get it wrong."

Thanks to Sugar Loaf I had forgotten that I'm not the only person in the world who knows this stuff.

During your transition from athlete to academician (it's all the same thing), you might keep in mind:

"Don't train until you win. Train until you can't lose."


 Read that again.

It's hot and humid like I love it (an odd September 90°), so I'm hitting the trails in Goosepond and running the 4 mile course with rock scramble.


 
77228/26/2016 11:23:43 PMSlingShotYo Mary : )

Once we began getting a handle on the true meaning of cadence, torque, and watts as it relates to power (speed), 99.9% of the old paperwork was merely an exercise to keep you focused and thinking rationally (productively) about your rides.

All together the process gave you insight into performance results that otherwise would appear to be totally random.

You may not have enjoyed the paperwork, but it was like the requirement of being open every day and putting up with assholes in order to sell your paintings.

If you stopped riding because of it that is unfortunate [I'm sure it was the compartment syndrome that put you out]; but, if you want to continue beating those who refuse to do such work plus are ignorant of the true function of cadence, torque, and watts even if they do, you will resume logging your rides.

It should be easier now that we can add what we know to the fairly solid data summaries taken from the rides of others.

Though STRAVA data is hopelessly flawed by imprecision, tracking segment results will at least get rid of any residual "Oh my god, they have gotten so fast, and I am so old!" bullshit excuses.

We will focus on only one segment at a time.

It will drive them crazy.

Bring the old log sheets upstairs, and I will work through them to give you an updated simplified tracking shorthand.

Never get on your bike without a goal and a plan.


 Uh oh.

And after taking only one Queen of the Mountain while posting in the top three of several others plus beating numerous men (again).

Not to mention continuing to hold top honors on Kain!


 
77197/10/2016 7:54:40 PMSlingShotOk, that didn't take long.

Widder has finally recovered from her last injury (compartment syndrome triggered by a 10+ mile pace for 4 miles in Goosepond in deep snow), so she's back in business.

First on the docket is beating her current Kain STRAVA time of 7:53, just to make sure she doesn't get bumped off her 2nd spot for Kain Climb Queen of the Mountain.

She's been working on Kain repeats, and thanks to seeing Greg Tsoucalis out on the course (and some other but unknown rider) she is invigorated and raring to go.


 Unfortunately, she's expecting me to do reconnaissance by beating her time first, so I have some of my own work to get done.


 
76422/23/2016 11:44:26 PMBob
Fugett
Mary : )

Although I have no love for computers and digital technology, I am very much aware there are millions of people who would kill to have the same opportunity that I have had to own the tools and time to build the websites and processes that you have given me the opportunity to construct ... and in that way express my ideas about community and human potential by publishing them as functional illustrative concrete first hand examples.

I never lose sight of my fortune.

Thanks. -b


 


 
76282/9/2016 12:54:43 PM Bob, read the performance book.

I've been riding for only 3 years, but I'm still in my 30s, so maybe I'll be fast when I'm your age.

2 questions:

1. dead spot myth. Trying spinning crystals, both legs slow down at 12 o clock. Question is: why does this really matter? When one leg is at 12 my other leg is at 6 and pulling backwards, which will push the other forward through 12 o clock.

2. estimated watts.
Right now I can't afford a power meter, I've been using my phone GPS and Strava, and using the power estimates Strava does to compare wattage after I ride. Curious if you have used Strava and compared to the real deal power meters, and if it is accurate.

Thanks!

 That's right, none of this makes any sense at all without an on-bicycle power meter to give you immediate feedback relative to your perceived effort vs actual power output.

Nobody using a real power meter has ever needed to ask a question about the book.

A couple of moments with valid, immediate, reliable feedback regarding perceived exertion versus actual power output, and it is all just too, too simple and obvious.

I can remember when the first CD recorders cost $85,000; and, considering the advantage, I almost bought one for my recording studio.

Just as I started to write the check, I noticed the price had dropped $5,000 in less than two months, so I decided, "Well, maybe give it a couple more months. I mean laser printers are already supposed to be dropping under 5k soon, so who knows?"

A few years later every new laptop computer came with a Red Book compliant recordable CD already installed ... almost for free.

I expected the same price drop would be true for power meters, and that by now they would be cheap standard equipment on every bicycle sold ... considering the advantage.

I have stopped holding my breath waiting for that day to arrive.

In any case, why would you not want to have both legs totally involved and doing the best they can at every point in your stroke, much less adding resistance with one that must be overcome by the other?

I hope you are not just trolling me ... : )


 
754410/15/2015 10:41:54 AMBob
Fugett
Yo, BH ...

After you wrote in the Cycling Performance Simplified forum I have been pleased to see you returning to check info and use the calculator, so being more comfortable that you are not just trolling me, here is some unfinished business for this project that you might like to investigate yourself.

Whereas I have confirmed numerous times that a 20 mph pace is less than the effort required to pick a full cycling water bottle off the floor and place it on a table, I never acheived a baseline 200 watts for 20 mph on a loop outside.

Though it has been obvious that stop and go is the problem, not the hills.

I came very close, but blew out my hip from too many rides too close in a row, while not understanding the dysfunction of my hip.

My hip is now much better, but in the meantime I am now too fat and out of shape to begin the testing again.

Also, I was trying to do it on our Saturday fast ride course which is 36 miles with lots of odd aggravating intersections with traffic, so I had dropped back to a shorter time trial course of 8 miles, but only realized after my hip failed that the shorter course actually has more intersection turns, so the percentage of stop/go was actually far greater than for the longer course.

All of which points to the major calculation I was trying to approach but also never confirmed.

Here is the question.

For a given number of watts which will of course reslove to a given speed (all things considered), how long does it take to acheive terminal velocity?

The useful extension of that calculation will provide insight to the real problem with the 200 watt / 20 mph loop.

What is the minimal amount of "over wattage" that will be required at intersections to recover pace?

More or less, of course, not an ultra-precise absolute; just an easy to remember rule of thumb.


 You can report "rule of thumb" results here from your standard IP number, and I will know it is you, not some impersonator.

Thanks for using the book, and I hope your cycling is progressing as you would like (ok impossible, but at least progressing then).


 
753910/13/2015 12:13:37 AMDavid
Fugett
Hey Uncle Bobby. Hope everything is well with you. Just wanted to let you know that Aunt Mary's paintings are now (kinda sorta) hanging in the Museum of Florida History here in Tallahassee.

I recently accepted the position of Assistant General Counsel and chief litigation attorney for the Florida Department of State. Our offices just happen to be in the R.A. Gray building that houses the Museum of Florida History. They actually let us choose artwork for our offices from the paintings that are not currently being used by the museum, but – thanks to Aunt Mary – I didn't need the help.

The picture shows what I see when I sit at my desk. So Mary's paintings are still my 'happy place'.


BTW, getting back to our much earlier discussion about 'walking yourself well' I have continued to improve so much in my back, neck, knees, etc., that I have taken up backpacking again. Since June I have walked over 80 miles on the Appalachian Trail with a full pack. With zero neck, back or knee issues. It's like a freakin' miracle as I had pretty much given up backpacking for life. I just got back from an overnighter on the AT with my middle son and his wife (the one getting a doctorate in physical therapy) and their trail dog (see pic). We did 27.3 miles, most of it in the rain, and had a blast. The picture is from the second day on the lookout tower on top of Wayah Bald in North Carolina.


Anyway, just wanted to check in with you and let you know what Mary's paintings have been up to here in Tallahassee.

Take care.

D. Fugett


 Oh, man, this is GREAT!

You keep hanging out with those people.

One of the women we walk our dog with in the local parks has been winning her age group in races and just placed 4th for her age and 167 overall in her first 1/2 Marathon of 1500 people ... she left it up to us to calculate how many men she beat because she's "not competitive".

A while back she was telling me how she was doing one legged stiff-legged deadlifts and I tried one ... couldn't come close with my left.

"Hmmm," thought I and began trying one every time I picked up the dog's stick during park walks.

Eventually I expanded what was learned into climbing and descending stairs with groceries, standing up from chairs, and the toilet etc.

Long story short my left hip is like a new creature, and I can now feel this big puffy pillow (which is my ass and gluteus medius) catch my hip like a giant cupped hand and stop it from escaping to the left.

I never even knew there were muscles there before ... didn't know I was trying to hold my hip stable with my knee (small muscles on the wrong end of the lever do not do the job; just makes you wonder why a nail gun keeps hitting your knee in random spots periodically).

The new hip strength has given me a whole new more balanced standing position on my bike for hills ... stretch high and lightly toss my handle bars left and right.

Plus I have made inroads stopping my right hip rotating forward while riding seated.

And your cousin, John Mitchell, reports he avoids driving anywhere that he can ride his bike, and he was just not too long ago sitting in the canopy somewhere down in the Amazon after rope climbing up and into it with some friends.

Hearing all this stuff makes my life more or less complete!

If it is ok, I will drop your email (with name) into a few of my Forums.

BTW: Couple weeks ago Mary sold $14,000 worth of paintings in five days to random people who walked into her studio, so she has become extra feisty on her bicycle.

On the other hand, those sales are going to pale in comparison to her excitement seeing your more than perfect display of her work that you have crafted (or your wife did if memory serves) ... not to mention the story.

WOW!

-b


 
75209/27/2015 11:01:12 AMBHLove your website and insights. Coming from Defiance, OH, being first a fair cyclist and then a better runner, I can closely identify with you. Currently training as a 60 yr old triathlete.

Observations:

1) Would love to have some age adjusted watts numbers. While 150 watts might be modest for a 30 yr old cyclist how does 150 watts compare for a 60 yr old.

2) Saw some forum remarks about heavier riders going faster than lighter rides at the same watts. My take is that once Momentum is achieved, a heavier rider will go faster than a lighter rider at the same watts. Your take.

3) On indoor spin bikes or trainers, is momentum less of a factor and is it harder to maintain watts indoors vs outdoors where your weight is rolling along with you?

4) Along with rider weight is rider height and agility. Could it be easier for smaller riders to be efficient out of the saddle COMPARED to taller riders (Nairo Quintana vs Chris Froome for example)?

5) While I agree with your assertions, I think it takes some time and work to get better results. A person who is currently efficient at 80 rpm might find an initial loss in watts at a much higher RPM. So don't be discouraged.

6) Torque or power is important in group cycling. If one can't stay with the pack to take advantage of the pack's aero slipstream then one will get dropped out of a corner or during an attack. Some guidelines on how much or how long one needs to develop that torque so as not to get dropped would be helpful.

Thank you for your work!

 All makes perfect sense, as would be expected from self-examination using a repeatable reliable objective reference.

Now, put down your keyboard and get out on your bike.


 
74989/15/2015 7:59:56 AMVivWhat does FT stand for please. On the table Power to Weight ratio it says 1 min 5 min FT? Thank - You

 FT = Functional Threshold

Or as the great Twin Lynn once put it so perfectly, "Just as hard as you can push ... forever!"

It more or less boils down to your 1hr-Time Trial effort which I like to test by doing an actual 1hr-TT.


 
74487/29/2015 10:56:50 PMWidderSo now that Rich Cruet (The Bicycle Doctor) made you go look up some videos of Christopher Froome's high cadence Tour de France climb, and you saw how all the buzz is about high cadence being inherently more powerful (read: faster, easier) than lower cadence, thus vindicating your book Cycling Performance Simplified and everything you've been raving about for so long, I assume you'll be expecting apologies from all the local cyclists who called you a heretic all these years.

 If they did that they would not be cyclists. 
74327/5/2015 4:23:51 PMAdam
Ant
You'd better explain.

 Ok, I'll admit it.

Once in a very great while this website does have to be all about Mary.


 
74317/5/2015 3:32:10 PMMaggieMary,

I know you had your doubts yesterday! But Wilma and I completed all our chores today. Maybe everything did not go where first planned. But, I am extremely happy with the results.

Since I took one of your favorites yesterday, I will start with that.

The sea is now just a small left turn of my head from my special spot on the couch. Never far out of sight….I consider this spot my home office……it is where I sit every day relaxing. NOW I have something special to look at other than a blank wall….

I rearranged a bit….this is the new look in the alcove to my bathroom…

This is the new look in the bedroom….hard to take a picture with the shadows and glare from the sun coming in but…I love the new look.

Lastly, the last item was put in the dinning area!!! The only problem is that it looks lonely. I will have to seek friends for this piece during our next visit!!!!

Hope you had a wonderful Happy 4th of July. See you soon.

Maggie
Sent
from my iPad


 That's right, folks, while everybody else was taking the Fourth of July off (thinking about all the Native Americans who gave us their homes, so we could get away from King George), Mary Endico was busy making another customer happy.

Actually, it was 2, or 3, or 4, or more, but who's counting?

"Open for Business" is not an adjective; it is a directive.

It means you must open if you want to do business.


 
74236/29/2015 4:56:37 AMBob FugettHi Dr. Dawg : )

Below is my edit of one of your website pages as a thank you for the house call.

A copy/paste of your current web page is on the left, and my suggested changes are on the right.

Hopefully, you can quickly copy/paste the changes to your website and get immediately back to the real job of doctoring patients.

Thanks again for the house call ... very uncommon these days.


 And further below that is the draft version before my blue highlighting of my changes started getting in the way of my own reading.

So what do you say kids?

Have we all found our new primary care physician, or what?

Don't forget to ask Dr. Johnson about his new local currency based on a concept out of Cornell which for some time has been making the rounds in Ithaca.

Here in Sugar Loaf, NY we call the doctor's local currency SugarCoin.


 
74226/28/2015 8:13:30 PMDr. Nathan Johnson
Edited by Bob
You are an Ecosystem
admin / June 16, 2014

You are an ecosystem. Microbes make up 90% of the cells of our body We share our bodies with 100 trillion microbes, living on our tongues, teeth and skin and in our intestine. While we have just over 20,000 human genes; our microbes have eight million. These microbes are quite small, with all 100 trillion weighing only 3 to 4 pounds in total, but, working together, they exert powerful effects. Modifications to our diet (with pesticides and antibiotics) and our environment (chemicals and unnatural hygiene levels) change our microbes.How are you caring for the ecosystem that is you?

This ecosystem develops right from birth. Infants with colic have more bacteria that are known to produce gas, whereas anti-inflammatory bacteria acquired from the vaginal canal are more common in colic-free infants. In one study infants were classified as excessive criers, significantly less frequently when randomized to receive prebiotic and probiotic instead of a placebo (19% vs 19% vs 47%, respectively; P = .02). In another study infants randomized to receive probiotics had NO Autism or ADHD at age 13, while the rates were 17% in those not given the probiotics. Perhaps the reductions in infantile colic, allowed better brain development.

The right balance of microbes is essential to good health and digestion. Obese and lean individuals have different gut flora composition. Obesity is associated with alterations in bacterial gut microbiota, with mainly a reduction in Bacteroidetes. Lactobacillus and Bifidobacterium may have a critical role in weight regulation. Odds of being overweight adults are 26% higher for C-section babies, possibly because they miss those healthy birth canal microbes.

Microbes are important in training our immune system on what to attack and what not to. Many of the diseases of modern life are caused by our own immune system attacking our body, and there is emerging evidence that exposure to diverse microbes can be protective. Autoimmune diseases like asthma, hay fever, Type 1 diabetes and multiple sclerosis are much less common in the developing world and in children raised on farms or in large families. In contrast, asthma and hay fever rates are increased both in cities and in children given early antibiotics. The hygiene hypothesis says we need more exposure to the outdoors and dirt.

Antibiotics are a great innovation and continue to save countless live when used appropriately. Unfortunately, antibiotics target not only the harmful bacteria. When bacteria in our intestines are disturbed by antibiotics, a common side effect is diarrhea. One way to limit side effects and prevent a resistant organism is to be sure to take a probiotic whenever you take an antibiotic. Probiotics are available in pill form and in food. Another key is limiting antibiotic overuse both in human medicine and in livestock. Many factory farms rely heavily on antibiotics. Using antibiotics for viral illness like the common cold doesn’t help, but can upset your protective microbial ecosystem.

We are only just beginning to understand the complex working of our microbes. But this much seems clear — the healthiest microbes are grown when the major ingredient in our diet is a diverse array of unprocessed plants and fermented foods. Eat a colorful array of vegetables and grow your healthy ecosystem. I love the benefits of technology and am not heading back to full paleo living. But please pass the sauerkraut, yogurt and miso soup. They come with healthy bacteria and help tend my inner garden.

Nathan Johnson, MD, is a Family Medicine Physician


 You are an Ecosystem
Dr. Nathan Johnson, MD
June 16, 2014
Edited by: Bob Fugett

You might not have thought of it before, but you are an ecosystem.

Microbes make up 90% of the cells of your body.

Each of us shares our body with 100 trillion microbes living on our tongues, our teeth and skin, and in our intestine.

While we humans have just over 20,000 genes, our microbes have eight million.

These microbes are quite small with all 100 trillion of them weighing only 3 to 4 pounds in total.

Working together, however, they exert a powerful influence on our health and well being.

Modifications to our diet (with pesticides and antibiotics) and to our environment (chemicals and unnatural hygiene levels) change our microbes.

Which begs the question, "How are you caring for the ecosystem that is you?"

Consider this.

The ecosystem that is you develops right from birth, and infants with colic have more bacteria that are known to produce gas, whereas anti-inflammatory bacteria acquired from the vaginal canal at birth are more common in colic-free infants.

In one study it was found that the number of infants classified as excessive criers was significantly less among those randomized to receive prebiotic or probiotic instead of a placebo (19% and 19% vs 47% respectively; P = .02).

[Double, triple, quadruple check the changes I made to the previous paragraph. Plus, does P stand for range of assumed statistical error +/-?]

06/29/15: Dr. Dog replies - P stands for the probability that the difference is due to chance. So the 'P = 0.02' means there is only a 2% chance the results were due to chance rather than the effects of the probiotic. Generally a P less than 5% is considered significant. It is probably fine to leave P out of the article for a general audience.

And Bob (me) counter replies - Due to the fact that generally there ain't no audience on the three sites where I posted this edit, I'm leaving the P here as generally of great interest to my highly not so general audience while Dr. Dog will of course be wise to drop it from his own.

Everybody continue reading with my apologies for the green and orange text.

In another study infants randomized to receive probiotics had absolutely NO Autism or ADHD at age 13, while the rates were 17% in those not given the probiotics.

Perhaps the reductions in infantile colic allowed better brain development.

Additionally the correct balance of microbes is essential to good health and digestion.

Obese and lean individuals have differing compositions of gut flora.

Obesity is associated with alterations in bacterial gut microbiota — mainly a reduction in Bacteroidetes.

Levels of Lactobacillus and Bifidobacterium may have a critical role in weight regulation.

Odds of becoming an overweight adult are 26% higher for C-section babies, possibly because they miss those healthy birth canal microbes.

Microbes are important in training our immune system on what to attack and what not to attack.

Many diseases of modern life are caused by our body being attacked by its own immune system, and there is emerging evidence that exposure to diverse microbes can be protective.

Autoimmune diseases like asthma, hay fever, Type 1 diabetes, and multiple sclerosis are much less common in the developing world and in children raised on farms or in large families.

In contrast, asthma and hay fever rates are increased both among people living in cities and in children who are given early antibiotics.

One theory called the hygiene hypothesis says we need more exposure to the outdoors and dirt.

Antibiotics are a great innovation and continue to save countless lives when used appropriately, but unfortunately antibiotics target not only the harmful bacteria but our good bacteria as well.

When bacteria in our intestines are disturbed by antibiotics, a common side effect is diarrhea.

One way to limit side effects while helping prevent antibotic resistant organisms is to be sure to take a probiotic whenever you take an antibiotic.

Probiotics are available both in pill form and in food.

Another key to preventing antibiotic organisms is limiting antibiotic overuse both in human medicine and in livestock.

Using antibiotics for viral illnesses like the common cold doesn’t help, but it can upset your protective microbial ecosystem.

Many factory farms rely heavily on antibiotics being given to their livestock, and those antibiotics are passed on to people through the food they eat.

We are only just beginning to understand the complex working of our microbes.

However, this much seems clear: the healthiest microbes are grown when the major ingredient in our diet is a diverse array of unprocessed plants and fermented foods.

Eat a colorful array of vegetables in order to grow your healthy ecosystem.

Personally I love the benefits of technology and am not heading back to full paleo living.

But please pass the sauerkraut, yogurt, and miso soup.

They come complete with healthy bacteria and help tend my inner garden.

Nathan Johnson, MD, is a Family Medicine Physician


 
74216/28/2015 4:34:33 PMDraft EditYou are an Ecosystem
admin / June 16, 2014

You are an ecosystem. Microbes make up 90% of the cells of our body We share our bodies with 100 trillion microbes, living on our tongues, teeth and skin and in our intestine. While we have just over 20,000 human genes; our microbes have eight million. These microbes are quite small, with all 100 trillion weighing only 3 to 4 pounds in total, but, working together, they exert powerful effects. Modifications to our diet (with pesticides and antibiotics) and our environment (chemicals and unnatural hygiene levels) change our microbes.How are you caring for the ecosystem that is you?

This ecosystem develops right from birth. Infants with colic have more bacteria that are known to produce gas, whereas anti-inflammatory bacteria acquired from the vaginal canal are more common in colic-free infants. In one study infants were classified as excessive criers, significantly less frequently when randomized to receive prebiotic and probiotic instead of a placebo (19% vs 19% vs 47%, respectively; P = .02). In another study infants randomized to receive probiotics had NO Autism or ADHD at age 13, while the rates were 17% in those not given the probiotics. Perhaps the reductions in infantile colic, allowed better brain development.

The right balance of microbes is essential to good health and digestion. Obese and lean individuals have different gut flora composition. Obesity is associated with alterations in bacterial gut microbiota, with mainly a reduction in Bacteroidetes. Lactobacillus and Bifidobacterium may have a critical role in weight regulation. Odds of being overweight adults are 26% higher for C-section babies, possibly because they miss those healthy birth canal microbes.

Microbes are important in training our immune system on what to attack and what not to. Many of the diseases of modern life are caused by our own immune system attacking our body, and there is emerging evidence that exposure to diverse microbes can be protective. Autoimmune diseases like asthma, hay fever, Type 1 diabetes and multiple sclerosis are much less common in the developing world and in children raised on farms or in large families. In contrast, asthma and hay fever rates are increased both in cities and in children given early antibiotics. The hygiene hypothesis says we need more exposure to the outdoors and dirt.

Antibiotics are a great innovation and continue to save countless live when used appropriately. Unfortunately, antibiotics target not only the harmful bacteria. When bacteria in our intestines are disturbed by antibiotics, a common side effect is diarrhea. One way to limit side effects and prevent a resistant organism is to be sure to take a probiotic whenever you take an antibiotic. Probiotics are available in pill form and in food. Another key is limiting antibiotic overuse both in human medicine and in livestock. Many factory farms rely heavily on antibiotics. Using antibiotics for viral illness like the common cold doesn’t help, but can upset your protective microbial ecosystem.

We are only just beginning to understand the complex working of our microbes. But this much seems clear — the healthiest microbes are grown when the major ingredient in our diet is a diverse array of unprocessed plants and fermented foods. Eat a colorful array of vegetables and grow your healthy ecosystem. I love the benefits of technology and am not heading back to full paleo living. But please pass the sauerkraut, yogurt and miso soup. They come with healthy bacteria and help tend my inner garden.

Nathan Johnson, MD, is a Family Medicine Physician


 You are an Ecosystem
admin / June 16, 2014

You are an ecosystem. Microbes make up 90% of the cells of our body. Each of us shares our body with 100 trillion microbes, living on our tongues, our teeth and skin, and in our intestine. While we have just over 20,000 human genes, our microbes have eight million. These microbes are quite small, with all 100 trillion weighing only 3 to 4 pounds in total; but, working together, they exert powerful effects. Modifications to our diet (with pesticides and antibiotics) and our environment (chemicals and unnatural hygiene levels) change our microbes. How are you caring for the ecosystem that is you?

This ecosystem develops right from birth. Infants with colic have more bacteria that are known to produce gas, whereas anti-inflammatory bacteria acquired from the vaginal canal are more common in colic-free infants. In one study infants were classified as excessive criers significantly less frequently when randomized to receive prebiotic and probiotic instead of a placebo (19% and 19% vs 47% respectively; P = .02). [what does P stand for?] In another study infants randomized to receive probiotics had NO Autism or ADHD at age 13, while the rates were 17% in those not given the probiotics. Perhaps the reductions in infantile colic, allowed better brain development.

The correct balance of microbes is essential to good health and digestion. Obese and lean individuals have different gut flora composition. Obesity is associated with alterations in bacterial gut microbiota — mainly a reduction in Bacteroidetes. Levels of Lactobacillus and Bifidobacterium may have a critical role in weight regulation. Odds of becoming overweight adults are 26% higher for C-section babies, possibly because they miss those healthy birth canal microbes.

Microbes are important in training our immune system on what to attack and what not to. Many of the diseases of modern life are caused by our own immune system attacking our body, and there is emerging evidence that exposure to diverse microbes can be protective.

Autoimmune diseases like asthma, hay fever, Type 1 diabetes and multiple sclerosis are much less common in the developing world and in children raised on farms or in large families. In contrast, asthma and hay fever rates are increased both in cities and in children given early antibiotics. The hygiene hypothesis says we need more exposure to the outdoors and dirt.

Antibiotics are a great innovation and continue to save countless lives when used appropriately, but unfortunately antibiotics target not only the harmful bacteria.

When bacteria in our intestines are disturbed by antibiotics, a common side effect is diarrhea. One way to limit side effects and prevent a resistant organism is to be sure to take a probiotic whenever you take an antibiotic. Probiotics are available in pill form and in food. Another key is limiting antibiotic overuse both in human medicine and in livestock. Many factory farms rely heavily on antibiotics. Using antibiotics for viral illness like the common cold doesn’t help, but they can upset your protective microbial ecosystem.

We are only just beginning to understand the complex working of our microbes. But this much seems clear — the healthiest microbes are grown when the major ingredient in our diet is a diverse array of unprocessed plants and fermented foods. Eat a colorful array of vegetables and grow your healthy ecosystem. I love the benefits of technology and am not heading back to full paleo living. But please pass the sauerkraut, yogurt and miso soup. They come with healthy bacteria and help tend my inner garden.

Nathan Johnson, MD, is a Family Medicine Physician


 
74126/17/2015 4:07:32 PMKSDear SlingShot,

Greetings from the Czech republic.

I read Cycling Performance Simplified a few years ago, and I have wanted to read it again, but I could not open the link.

There is a redirect to the following page ███, which is empty.

Is it possible to read your material again?

Regards,
Krystof


 All fixed.

Thanks for the heads-up.

It seems a recent server upgrade broke some of my code.

I did some maintenance with a quick check, and it appears everything is back to normal.

Thanks again for the help.
Bob


06/20/15 update: Today noted somebody still experienced problem viewing Power Calculator Explained page, now fixed. Will keep reviewing logs and fixing errors.


 
74106/14/2015 4:29:12 PMWidderHey Scott, Slingshot phoned and said he just saw you picking up yard sale signs.

He told me to post here in the Chatterbox (in case you get here before he gets home) in order to confirm you can stop by Endico Watercolors in Sugar Loaf to pick up your free copy of Egoscue with his How-To notes.


 See, the Widder can do lots of stuff besides kick your ass on the road :)


 
73985/31/2015 7:45:01 PMJohnsonI did not really know what a Sacrum or Coccyx was a few short weeks ago and now I can’t seem to get them out of my mind.

After 3 hours or so, I can really feel some discomfort that lasts for a day.

Do you think it is a breaking in period for my lazy ass or maybe seat adjustment?

 Everybody goes through a long period trying to get the saddle right.

One of our local bike shops keeps a big garbage can size wire bin full of used saddles of all sorts just so people can borrow them to try out.

Just rummage through the bin, bring it back and grab another when it doesn't help.

I have heard lots of group discussions about saddles, and when somebody decides one feels better, everybody tries it till it doesn't.

Try bike shorts and a race style hard saddle while avoiding the intuitive choice of a big cushy saddle because once your weight is on them, all saddles compress down to hard, and the big cushy ones just bunch up putting hard compressed surfaces in places you might not like.

There is a little toughening up period, but I think a lot of that consists of your glutes and upper hams building mass and strength to hold you off the bones and taint.

Get in the habit of standing for awhile periodically.

That is easier for us to remember hereabouts because of standing on hills, but on the flats in Florida we just had to remember to get out of the saddle.

Once you get your clips you are going to love standing up and "running" in the pedals.

And yes you are definitely going to forget to clip out and fall over at a few stops.

I have even given people extended lessons learning to clip out each foot from the 12, 3, 6, and 9 o'clock positions ... they still fall eventually ... never get hurt ... just embarrassed ... despite every person around them having done it themselves a few dozen times.

Now for the good stuff.

You might want to keep track of what's going on with your nether parts because the place that can really get damaged doesn't have a lot of nerves due to being in places usually protected by massive sensitivity around them.

Humans haven't had millions enough of years to develop protective sensations to bike saddles hitting odd places.

I personally have lost all feeling on part of my right gonad, and my previously porn star grade erection is now more human sized, somewhat stilted and bent (and no, I'm not just old).

On the odd occasion I care enough to have an actual ejaculation, it burns like hell for a few seconds afterwards (less significantly of late).

When I first noticed it a decade ago, I thought it was temporary and would go away if I backed off the miles in the saddle.

My current theory is that I compromised a nerve somewhere and some soft spongy tissue somewhere else and crushed a delivery tube some other where else.

Good thing for me I am too old to give a shit about it.

Good thing for you you've got an uncle who will tell you these things.

Actually I guess it is up to you to decide how much of too much information is really way too much information.

Would I do it all again?

'prolly.

Maybe wouldn't tell you about it though. -b


 
72761/21/2015 12:07:59 PMSlingShot
ONCE
AND ONLY ONCE

Ok, I'm going to say this one time, and one time only.

Dr. Art

Here's a photo for the aesthetically minded.

In fact the only reason I am able to say it once, (never mind more times if I wanted), is very specifically because of Dr. Art.

And no I didn't just say it again because this time there was no web link, and everybody knows nothing is ever truly said unless there is a web link, so the record will show I said it once and only once.

I will explain knowing it will mean my revealing some very private and damaging information.

So be it.

Yesterday I was running in Goose Pond, preparing for the first Tuesday in April when I will be showing up uninvited to the Tuesday night ride and kicking Steve Jinks' ass.

I have been working on the project for 5 weeks, and all the data shows I am still on track: 1) my weight is down and getting downer, 2) left hip right and getting righter, 3) watts upper and upper.

My training spreadsheet confirms ETA for the Jinks' whupping is unchanged.

I maintain a fervent Fuck You Fondo Fever.

Except near the end of the 4 mile Goosepond loop things went awry.

Joe Straub rightly attests how that old steep and pocked marked washed out country road gets icy in Winter, but I was staying off the blacktop and running on the leaves and debris along the side.

With my Yaktrax snow cleats on, I was still taking extra precautions on the icy sections I could not avoid.

One of those spots was at the bottom of the next to last hill, just as the road flattens beside the open grassy moguls like field.

Due to the pitch in the road, and the deep frozen washout gutter, I found myself drifting to the left so followed necessity on over to the left.

Big sigh of relief as I settled into the hard smooth ice trough.

I pulled my stopwatch out of its little chest pocket and congratulated myself on a great run in the making when my left cleat rubber banded off my shoe and plopped 3 yards behind.

I thought, "Shit, I'm going to have to go back for it, just as soon as I can come to a ..."

Went down real hard backwards onto my elbow which gave me enough pain to prompt, "Great, now a broken arm. Bet Jinks is going to be real happy about this."

It wasn't until later that evening, when I started some work on the computer, that I realized the real problem was my left wrist.

I could barely type, and things were getting logarithmically worse, like pushing harder and harder into a strengthening headwind.

"Oh great, my arm is ok, but I broke my wrist!? This must be Jinks lucky year."

But that is enough writing in this column.

Everybody go over to the right side column and pretend that is me still writing.

You do want to know what Dr. Art did for me, right?

 Do you know how many times one can say, "Shit motherfucker," after losing a cleat while running on ice, and after thinking that meant screwing up a timed event, then beginning the litany just before landing on your ass?

Well I don't know either, didn't count them, but there sure were a lot in a very short moment.

Otherwise, like I said, I didn't consider the wrist that I had landed on before slapping onto my elbow ... until later in the evening when I tried typing but couldn't.

Immediately I remembered what Widder said of her broken finger after sliding under the guard rail on Pulaski Highway, "I'm ok, really, it doesn't hurt," to which I replied, "Ok, if that's true, where is your knuckle?" and off we went, to Urgent Care.

I also remembered years ago how my broken collar bone only felt like I pulled a muscle, until people were looking at me like they had seen a ghost, so I took a look at my shoulder and found it down around my waist, so off to Urgent Care.

Therefore not wanting to sound stupid later, I took my untyping hand and got in the car, went to Middletown, and found Urgent Care was closed.

On the way home I was thinking how good that was, because I really did not want another round of medical cat and mouse, where nobody will offer even a guesstimate opinion without seven appointments and a roomful of massive equipment covering their ass while charging the government inflated prices (read: health insurance companies) for use of their system.

An hour or so later, things had improved greatly, and in the morning more greatly still, so I begunst to thinking.

I was wishing I had somebody to talk to about it, someone who knows something about some things, maybe even has seen a broken bone or two; you know, somebody like a combat medic (get me back in the war) or ... better still, DR. ART! [Again, no link, no harm, no foul, still mentioned one time and one time only.]

Of course I knew a lot of people would call me daft while telling me that I really needed to have an x-ray (from a big expensive machine), in order to be sure, not a mere chiropractor.

Now get this.

I hurried over to Dr. Art's (no link), and not only did he take a look at it, palpate it, ruminate and ask me questions, he put a tuning fork on it, testing several spots.

A TUNING FORK!

Turns out the peritoneum (sheathing) around a broken bone really hates being touched by a tuning fork, and it will bite you real hard (feels like a bee sting) if the bone it wraps is fractured.

Who knew?

Well, it was a pretty big tuning fork, so maybe big equipment will have to be acknowledged.

As an aside, I should mention that the fork was tuned to just below middle C.

I would say it was around 256 Hz, because in addition to my eidetic memory, visionary genius, and legendary business savvy (at least as pertains to foot traffic in Sugar Loaf), I also have greater than perfect pitch hearing wherein I can distinguish not only specific note values but all the microtones in between the notes.

So yes, it was 256 Hz (hum it), and Middle C is just slightly above at 261.6 Hz (hum it or look it up).

Probably somebody has already taken this very simple reality of the human body's response to an easily observable physical phenomenon and made some quasi-religious crystal type scam addition to an ongoing grift, imbuing the whole thing with magic powers beyond human understanding, all based on a tiny surprising grain of truth.

Guess that means (to make sure you know where the true knowledge is) I am going to have to say it again, despite my promise to say it just one time and one time only.

Dr. Art

Whoops, I almost forgot: the wrist is not broken (sorry Jinks), and recently Dr. Art used the same diagnostic technique on his very own daughter to find out her finger actually was broken ... but then, she is involved in real athletics, not the easy, pretend, only goal is to kick Jinks' ass kind.

And as for this writing, if Dr. Art had not so accurately tested and assured me that my wrist was not broken, I would be sorely put to endure the recuperative pain of typing, nor without Dr. Art's help in the past (with my back, knee, etc) neither could I be so certain of kicking Jinks' ass this Spring (along with all those other Tuesday night losers).

 
72651/9/2015 5:29:55 PMBrown
ʃɥiʃaʁli !

 Me too.

 
72551/1/2015 9:52:07 PMTom DinchukHi Bob,

I did get to your site and listen to some of your tracks.

I like them; I got a sense of interlacing threads going in and out of each other and coloring everything (kind of like an audio painting).

Bike riders are usually in great shape (you'd have to be to pedal all those miles).

I generally walk miles and miles with my Beagle for exercise, then hop on my motorcycle and head up into the mountains (and some twisty roads) ... not as healthy as a bike but lots of fun.

Waiting for my Djembe drum ... I might have a question or two once I get into it.

Talk to you soon,
Tom

 Excellent, I look forward to hearing about the drum.

I used to go with Mary to her watercolor lessons with Whitney because I realized his discussions about color, form, and composition applied equally well to music.

He was describing my inner vision of music.

It was great reinforcement.

Composition: paintings, sculpture, pottery, dance, music, gourds, photos, woodcarving, jewelry, glass, literature, historic architecture, motorcycles, deli sandwiches, etc ... it's all the same thing.

These days I describe myself as a master musician whose main instrument is the written word.

And my concert hall is the inside of people's heads.

I leave out the part about me being a next generation digital performance artist so that people can discover it for themselves.

Those who won't get it on their own, will certainly never get it just from my mentioning it.

The photo of me above is two years ago, before jump starting all the Sugar Loaf Guild stuff again.

Most recently, you saw me in a much diminished (temporary) state.

I won't be back in top shape by April, but it will be plenty enough to kick the group ride's asses.

If you would like to take your motorcycle on a favorite cyclist course, start in the middle of New Paltz, go up past Minnewaska, cut over using 209 to Catskill Park, go up the right side of Roundout Reservoir, and at the end make a quick right, left, another left and go up Furman Glade Hill Road, loop around and come back down the other side of the reservoir then retrace your steps to New Paltz.

Eighty miles round trip.

We call it "The Mission". -b

 
725112/31/2014 8:37:28 PMTom DinchukHey Bob,

I was on the Guild site.

There's a lot going on there (I'll be back in a day or two).

Mary's site (and work) is fantastic ... her soul lives in those paintings!

You're right about my needing to put prices on my website.

Plus (as Mary) I too have a number of pieces that are in museum collections, so I should probably mention that on my website as well.

I'll probably update my site this Spring (with some new work and other things) prior to my one man show.

I'm glad you like the Sunbeam; we'll go for a top down ride after things warm up a little (if I can get you out of the studio for a bit).

Do you have a site with your music on it?

Talk to you on the flip side
Tom

 Mary feels her soul is more precisely expressed in the image on your T-shirt she picked.

Here is a question for you.

Do you know the technical term for a one man show that is fulltime, 24/7/365, totally self-directed, no outside intervention, completely self sustaining and self supporting (and very lucratively so), where adoring collectors from all over the world make regular traditional trips just to see what is new in your work and take some home to become family heirlooms of personal significance with one-of-a-kind intrinsic cultural value (not for resale), and all of this completed amidst the very specific environment where the work is being created while not stepping on the free flow of the process in the slightest?

Do you know the technical term for such a situation?

No?

Well, the term for that is "Sugar Loaf".

Welcome aboard.

I am surprised you didn't find my music via a Google search, but the currently rather orphaned official website is at:

I really have not added to that website in a long while, too much other exciting stuff to get done.

Unlikely that you'll be able to get me out for a car ride, but a bike ride is another story altogether, and by "bike" I mean "bicycle".

I am currently working on a project for the Spring in which I will show up for a Tuesday night group ride starting at Key Bank in Florida, NY and lay waste to the whole damned lot of them for about an hour and a half's worth of big steep hills.

I certainly could use some help, however, because cycling is as much a team sport as is football or basketball, though most regular folks don't know that.

As soon as the group knows what I am up to (my reputation alone will tip them off), they will work together trying to stop me.

They always do.

Actually, I will be able to beat them on my own (have done it many times), but if you would like to get in shape and geared up, I sure wouldn't mind a little helping hand.

Otherwise, looking forward to your big move into Sugar Loaf.

Get ready to become rich and famous, buddy.

Or in your particular case richer and famouser!

 
724112/24/2014 8:30:12 AMLDTCI read your post about the super secret dog park, and thought you would like to see this:

 I especially like the ending.

In our own super secret dog park, the mountain bikers have a crew that shows up en masse to maintain the trails.

That is why nobody got upset at the bikers for scaring a skittish rescue Pit Bull.

Follow up to that story: Bill said that when Daisy found and circled their group near the end of the top field then bolted, soon afterwards the mountain bikers came by hauling ass.

That means Daisy got spooked by them, started following her mom's scent back up the trail they had been travelling, and probably decided the mountain bikers (following the same trail) were chasing her.

Daisy's prior experience with people would have lent credence to that belief.

The world is full of people.

Some abuse dogs, some tend trails, and some whine about their businesses they only show up for part time while believing that "just passing along goods" is an acceptable business model (Sugar Loaf).

I prefer to spend my time out amongst the trail tending types.

My advice: follow the trails of tenders, not the tales of trenders.

 
723812/20/2014 6:20:04 PMTwin
Lynn
Awesome!

Will we have timed descents at the Fuck You Fondo?

The above in response to Widder's private email copied below.

   On Sat, Dec 20, 2014 at 10:13 AM, Mary Endico wrote:

"Congratulations!

"You are now officially registered for Fuck You Fever 2015 (based on Fondo Fever 2014).

"Your registration fees are covered under your American Road Cycling membership!

"Don't let Jinks know SlingShot is coming after his ass."

 Yes, Lynn, of course we will have timed descents.

You didn't really think Jinks was ever going to get caught timing an uphill, did you?

 
723612/20/2014 10:17:10 AMTwin
Lynn
I know I shouldn't be posting this here, but after our conversation in the wide open, run where you will, mountain trails secret dog park, this really has to be said.

Your plan would probably be rational if not for the fact Slippery Jinks will be back by early April, and he always changes the Tuesday Key Bank ride to the mountainous course.

Just so you know.

Twin

 No worries, I am down 5 lbs, and slightly ahead of schedule, so don't tell Jinks (or anybody else who will) that I am coming for his sorry ass.

We should probably move this discussion over to American Road Cycling.

 
70679/8/2014 2:47:21 PMRick Sanchez...and to think I enjoyed OH as well, especially the Football Hall of Fame at Canton.

Glad you reached 800...when I get my new Madonne, I'll catch up!

 I'll soft pedal till you get here ... then all bets are off.

In Canton did you notice this guy?

Went to my high school, and I always use him to point out what great coaches we had, because I am myself not the best example of their work.

 
70659/6/2014 2:52:32 PMRick Sanchez, retired nom de guerre ToeClpGuy Hope all is well.

I drove out to Missouri a couple of weeks ago to see my son who was graduating from Army basic. The plan was to ride each day no matter where I was. I got one ride in while In Columbus OH....then I lost my Project One Madonne. It was my own stupid error that caused this nightmare..

Bye Bye Madonne.....

(I ordered another one last week.....hopefully I won't get stupid again and lose this one.)



 I could have told you to stay out of Ohio.

My home town.

I had a personal best 800 watts on one of my Flightcheck benchmarks yesterday, so I will probably miss that bike (with you on it) more than you will.

Looks like the rain's over, so I better get out there before you show up with a new one.

 
70578/18/2014 12:50:32 PMConnieLet's go to DDs. Who needs cupcakes ?

 Wireless data network, unlikely static, not found in logs during this month.

Added to watch list, but probably will not be seen again.

Has anybody reported with a description of the page?

 
70538/14/2014 12:41:45 AMConnie RoseI love my pages on the Sugar Loaf Guild website!

Thank you guys for a great day of hanging out and helping me to vent and reinvent.

So glad to hear that Bratty Girl is on the mend.

1.5 mil is a joke to your worth in Sugar Loaf.

P.S.: I have been known to be "Out standing!"

 Ok, hold it down in here.

 
70417/28/2014 9:55:44 AMToeClipGuyHope all is well for both you and Mary.

I'll catch you on the roads soon.

Finally made weight after more than half the year going by. (been riding consistently recently AND minimizing the crap junk food)

Now if I can just get race fit.

 That's right; dieting doesn't work, and exercise doesn't work; the only thing that works is diet AND exercise.

Everything's great for us, so you might be seeing us on the roads soon but unlikely you'll be catching us.

No need to rush getting race fit; you've got a whole two weeks of race season left.

An actual, honest to goodness, competitive cycling club.
Luke, I am your father.

 
70397/26/2014 1:35:54 PMWhere's my daddy?Last Chance: Asshole close, but no cigar!

Hint: The last time I checked in it was post tax season 2013.

I was checking to see if you were going to make it to the hump today, but I couldn't roll out of bed on time.

See you on the road.

Hope all is well!

 Toe Clip surpasses Asshole and moves to the head of the class.

That post would be:

I didn't do the Hump today (got kicked out of the club for non-responsiveness to bullshit) but did the Hump yesterday on my own and frayed a cable, so I just got back from The Bicycle Doctor who charged me almost nothing to fix it though I had to endure hearing Keith tell me my time yesterday would have been just as good if I stayed on my couch.

Mary is finally recovering from a shin splint that got to the level of compartment syndrome and is beginning to kick my ass on mountain trail walks again.

One day she came back from Goosepond Park after finishing a 4 mile trail run in the deep snow and reported she had four (4) ten-minute miles in a row (after a couple months lay-off), and how her leg was hurting but she didn't want to stop because her time was good.

I had looked at her stopwatch, gulped, and said, "Well, this is not going to be good."

A couple days later on the same course I was walking with her, noticed she was off the back, looked around and saw her a hundred yards back in knee deep snow limping like a broken goose.

"Maybe I'll warm out of it."

I sent her home, and it has been till now before she could actually walk fast enough to hurt me.

Think I'll break her leg next time.

As for you, Mr. Toe Clip, sir — name your place and time, and you can try taming the new improved bigger fatter older Bob!

Oh, that's right, you probably have to start getting ready to coach soccer.

Now I am going out on my bike and try to beat a 14 mph average ... fuck you, Keith, fuck you very much.

The good news for Keith is that Andreas just won a time trial so people hate him most and Keith can have some friends again.

 
70347/25/2014 8:52:05 PMwho's my daddy??Guess who, Slingshot??!!

 Asshole?
Toe Clip?
Zirra?
Smilin' Jack?
Paul Latrine?
Stinkature Psychos?
Marchand?
Lauren?
ddoT?
Nuclear Dan?
Blaster?
FG?
Ed Hochberg?

In that order (with the first one a given).

Otherwise, here is a classic from Feb. 28, 2007:

This is too easy. I don't have to guess who you are. I KNOW who you are. Using a number of proprietary programs and patented in-house processes (of my own design), I have easily confirmed your identity. Nothing to it really. Here's the quick (though partial) summary: You arrived at the web site via a google search for "americanroadcycling." However, the IP you came in on has never been here before. Therefore, it has never been assigned even a lowly UV (Unknown Viewer) number. Therefore, there is absolutely no mistaking your identity. You are a NOBODY! No really, Zirra... you are a nobody.

 
69697/9/2014 9:20:49 PMBob
Fugett
Yo, Connie : )

The post you mentioned was not removed, it was merely toggled off the American Road Cycling Forum in favor of posting it in the Guild Forum.

It is post: 6818

Also I am keeping track of your cycling results at: Connie's Rides.

Your FMS results are at: Connie's FMS.

 That should keep 'em guessing.

This one should be too boring for both American Road Cycling and the Sugar Loaf Guild.

 
69527/2/2014 1:11:47 PMDr. Art
Donohue

Peak Performance
Chiropractic
6/25/2014

Dear Mary and Bob —

In case I didn't adequately express it — once again thanks so much to you and the esteemed members of the Sugar Loaf Guild for your generous donation to the Raina Ferraro Fund.

Thanks to you, the event was a great success and we were able to present a sizeable donation to the family.

I would also like to personally apologize for any of the inexcusable things I have said about you guys, or the people of Sugar Loaf, in recent memory. (Most were taken out of context.)

Love to all — Art.

 I am assuming, since the note at the bottom of your envelope read: "Attention: Bob or Mary (Impersonal — not confidential)," it will be ok for me to copy your letter into this Forum.

If it is not ok, consider this a lesson.

Especially loved the send to address: Endico Water Coolers, Inc.

We have several of our lawyers at work securing the name.

 
69446/28/2014 12:23:53 PMConnie (forever grateful) RoseDo you know what I thought was so amazing yesterday? What amazed me the most was the fact that you were blown away by your own balance and ability to move your body correctly through a series of tests.

Proof positive that learning to align your body and move as a unit becomes a lifestyle. My Mom learned a saying that she taught me, “True learning always results in a change of behavior.”

Thank you Bob and Mary for your friendship and for passing on knowledge that is changing my life.

No kissy kissy, no brown nose. I say this with gratitude.

 You are the best, Connie, and I am still shocked I didn't fall on my geezer ass trying to show you those tests.

And as for such things as correct movement becoming a lifestyle, I would caution you thus: A garden may grow on its own but is best tended every day.

 
69406/27/2014 3:07:46 PMConnieThank you both for helping me. I was so happy to see that Bratty Girl wasn't put off by my presence.

 So was she.

 
69336/23/2014 8:29:48 PMConnieDeal!

 Also don't get all excited about this and frustrate yourself trying to get other people to see how easy it is to fix their own dysfunctional movement patterns.

Most are very resistant to the idea, are not nearly as smart as you, and some of them might have actual physical problems not so easily remediated.

Not to mention you will probably go through some periods of adjustment where pains reappear and popup all over the place like a pinball hitting bells and buzzers around a pinball machine.

Just stay on top of the changes and use the anatomy books and apps to figure them out.

From easiest to hardest to fix: 1) move more and better, 2) low salt, 3) low sugar, 4) low or no alcohol which is actually a sugar, 5) no cigarettes which are actually death on a cracker.

I am not so perfect in any of them except alcohol and cigarettes both of which I was cautioned against from early childhood.

As an aside, that book comes by way of Lauren Warren.

Oh yeah, and don't over do any of it ... like Mary over does all of it.

 
69326/23/2014 5:47:57 PMConnie RoseHoly SHIT!

One lesson with Bob on how to stand and walk correctly has changed my life.

I cannot remember the last time that my back and knees felt painfree.

Thank you Thank you Thank you.......infinity Thank you !!!!!!

 Just wait till I start teaching you how to breathe.

Oh hell, why wait.

Put down that cigarette.

We'll just leave this over here on ARC, so all those loser motherfuckers over at the Guild site don't get all the fuck fuckin' pissed as shit!

 
68775/28/2014 2:20:43 PMSlingShotLauren, the book arrived and Mary LOVES it.

Thanks.

 And I'm supposed to comment on that?

 
68655/15/2014 4:26:55 AMCuryousCould you post a link to that STRAVA digital EPO page again?

 Sure. >>>

EXTRA
LINK...
68595/24/2014 12:27:15 PMLaurenBob, you have assumed correctly! I need to get my sorry little gluteus maximus and all groups in gear again! Very excited for you to get the book, YOU and Mary will go bonkers over it! Cannot wait to see you both again!

 Just when you thought you were out ... we pull you back in!

 
68585/24/2014 12:06:23 PMBob FugettLauren, thanks for the book suggestion; just ordered it One Click!

 I see you have assumed Lauren will be wandering onto this page. 
68575/24/2014 11:28:33 AMLauren "Lugie Angel" WarrenSoooooo awesome to catch up with you once again!! Somehow rights all the wrong the past few years and ignited the little warrior spirit in me again! You both rock! Hugs to you both!!

 Whoops, looks like our posts crossed.

 
68355/15/2014 4:26:55 AMSTRAVA
Champ
Here ya go. >>>EXTRA
LINK...
Thanks.

I'll show Babyclams and Humberto.

 
68254/28/2014 9:25:15 PMFred GuilhausI am in Adelaide Australia and a fan of your website, in particular Bob Fugett.

I am also writing a book about cycling, with a slant on the foibles and humor.

I have used many technically-informative internet based sites and wish to know whether I need your permission to reference your site and Fugett's work.

I make limited use of it and reference it of course ...

 Absolutely no problem.

You may make use with appropriate attribution, and thanks for asking.

Bob Fugett

 
68064/15/2014 11:04:00 AMConnieGood Morning

Loved your positive update on SL happenings.

Don't forget about the brand spanking new driveway at The Sugar Loaf Crossing sight.

 Whoops, missed your post in the shuffle; I'll send Mary out to get a photo.

I guess they used the $1,000 Sugar Loaf Guild donation to good effect upgrading the music series facility.

 
67974/10/2014 6:53:25 PMCROK, I just spoke with Anna about Sugar Loaf University.

Guess we'll have to wait and see what I "said."

I tried to make a point. In fact I must have repeated this at least five times and made sure it was repeated at the end of the call.

Sugar Loaf University was not established. It was observed.


 Connie is now President of Sugar Loaf University due to her being the only one who actually gets it.

Every time I think Connie has exceeded my wildest expectations, she does something even better.

She has not just broken the glass ceiling, she has jumped on top of it, smashed it to the floor, and fashioned a multicolored cathedral vitrine out of its shattered remains.

 
67844/7/2014 2:39:08 PMLCHi Bob,

I just wanted to tell you that I am reading your book again, this time with much deeper attention, and it is now getting dog-eared and full of notations. It is somehow expressing gems of insight not only for my guitar playing, but my writing.

All is well with me, I am just winding up a large writing project and your book was winking at me from the shelf, and sure enough, it had just the insights I needed to re-center myself for the last portion of my project.

I will be east probably in 2015, if not sooner, so I promise to be in touch.

I mean hey, I am long overdue for a lesson!

I just bought a hard case for my guitar so I can travel with it.

Please pass hellos on to Mary. Hope all is well with you. Would love an update.

A big hug to you both, LC

 Hi LC : )

Watch how lazy I can be providing an update:

And that page is only part of the trouble I am keeping myself in (it has a photo I think you'll like).

Thank you for the kind thank you; I am re-posting it into a couple forums (under the name LC) just to piss people off. -b

 
67673/26/2014 9:52:21 AMTrue
Grist
Show her.

 Ok.

 
67623/25/2014 2:26:13 PMConnieFunny you should mention proper customer service.

I was just thinking about my own customer service (Sugar Loaf style) that took place over the weekend.

Sunday afternoon a man walked into the studio; he was looking for the pottery gallery.

I explained that the store was in transition and wasn't available for viewing just yet.

However, what I could offer him (and I did), was to give him a tour of the working studio.

I asked about his interest in pottery and invited him to come to a class as a guest.

During our conversation he informed me that Sugar Loaf was dead.

"Really!!?" I said.

Then I gave him a Sugar Loaf Guild brochure.

I showed him on the computer the Guild website.

I let him "walk" into busy working studios via the 360 degree views.

I showed him picture after picture of successful shops/studios that have been in Sugar Loaf for decades.

Then I brought out a Sugar Loaf University T-shirt and told him about the artists that have been holding ongoing classes for years.

So as to not go on and on about I ... I ... I, let's just say he left town not only with artist made soap, candles and a leather belt (all made right here by successful artists living and working right here), but this man left with a new interest and perspective.

I believe he will come back.

He didn't want to leave.

 Well, Connie, you continue to be the best, and now that the easy part is over, it is time for the hard part.

Ready?

Now that you have had that experience, you have to try and get somebody else (anybody else) to believe it happened.

In any case, you have full Guild permissions to go on and on about I ... I ... I, all you want.

The best I say, the very, very best.

 
67513/12/2014 4:39:03 PMShallow GalIn reference to LIKE THIS in the SLF.

Sling-Hot!!!!

 Yeah, that asshole had no idea.

Good thing too, considering how quickly it was gone.

 
67433/6/2014 9:20:44 AM
SLU
Λ Ω Φ


WHERE IS SUGAR LOAF
UNIVERSITY?

A mid-morning warm sun was finally starting to shine as the deep winter freeze began to break up.

Lifetime Sugar Loaf artist and working potter Connie Rose answered the question for about the hundredth time.

It seemed to be the only thing people were talking about in the little hamlet of artists.

A pottery student saw the new Sugar Loaf University t-shirt being worn by Connie and asked, "Where is Sugar Loaf University?"

Connie replied, ""Right here, you're standing in it. You're already a part of it."

"Sqeeaall ... I want one!"

The next logical question might have been, "Who is the president of Sugar Loaf University?"

However, Sugar Loaf University was not so much established as it was observed to exist.

Throughout the previous year Bob Fugett spent time in every studio in Sugar Loaf gathering information for the revamped Guild website

One of his main observations was how the large number of classes and workshops being held in Sugar Loaf (some by the best artists in their respective fields) were continuing to provide a strong and energetic positive presence for the arts.

But each studio providing classes seemed to be unaware other studios were holding classes of their own at the same time; plus Bob realized these were the kinds of classes that the best college and university outreach programs are always hungry to find.

Bob himself had taught music lessons for students to receive college credit as far back as 1988.

Clay Boone has students who have been attending his classes for more than 20 years.

Bob knew somebody had to say something about the situation, so Sugar Loaf University t-shirts were born.

Year round on every Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday there are a wealth of classes being held in Sugar Loaf (sometimes by second generation lifetime artists), and these classes are of such high quality that students can gain college credit through appropriate programs from any number of the best academic institutions.

Of course, you do not have to study for college credit, and most students in these classes are merely attending for the pure joy of learning and being surrounded by others who have the same interest.

There is something about the Sugar Loaf, NY artist community that defies description and cannot be repeated anywhere else.

To name a few ongoing classes there are: Art and Communication; Fashion Design and Assembly; French; Jewelry; Music; Photography; Pottery; Sculpture; Stained Glass; Website Design and Digital Arts; Yoga; Woodcarving.

All ages from beginner to college level and beyond.

For more information see the website: SugarLoafGuild.org

 The Sugar Loaf University initiative has been so successful that the press release at left has been prepared for everybody's convenience.

If you know of a publication that would like to run it, be our guest!

You can also grab images off the Guild website to go along with it (and if you need a larger file of any image, just ask and one will be provided free of charge).

 
67403/5/2014 1:12:37 PM
SLU
Λ Ω Φ

This morning there's

Plus

And

All from

 Tip of the iceberg, my friends, tip of the iceberg. 
67302/24/2014 8:00:59 PMFloridianOMG !!!

Was that Andre-ass?

 No, if it were Andreas he would do what I suggest you do when you see one ... do what we do. Run. You run your ass off ... and take the blue pill.

 
67222/15/2014 11:01:04 AMJOCylclist encounters group of OCBC-ers. >>>

EXTRA
LINK...
Settle down.

 
67122/6/2014 6:14:31 PMMark McKillopThanks Bob I will give it a go and let you know how it goes.

Should I be doing repeats in the one session, if so how many, and I assume I would then do it again over subsequent weeks to test progress?

I have a nice 11 speed cassette with some closely spaced climbing ratios so that should mak the exercise easier.

 Perfect.

Check with your coach regarding how many, etc to fit in with your goals and current level.

The important thing is to test the concept and understand what you are seeing.

And yes, you will want to return to the test periodically to check progress; that is exactly what it is for.

Don't forget your floor exercises, not to be underestimated.

Also test against results with the Quarq and see if you can't get coach to say, "That's cool!"

I can't wait to hear the results.

 
67102/6/2014 6:06:42 AMMark McKillopThanks again Bob.

Yes I do live in Australia, in Melbourne actually. You may have heard of Beach Road which is the major urban cycling destination, there are small rolling hills around the Bay on which the city is sighted, a few which are up to 600m at a gradient of around 3 to 4%. I live a few hundred metres off that road. I do have a cadence measure on my computer (garmin 810) which can be set for instant or averaged readings. I also ride in the local mountains where there are nice 20 to 30 minute climbs of 300 m vertical plus.

So yes I would be interested in the method of working out some wattages etc without a power meter.

Cheers
Mark

 Excellent, thanks for responding; this is really rather self serving of me, because I am just interested to see if something like this can be communicated over a distance without reference to the known standard of a power meter.

What I am talking about is not a way to derive wattage without a power meter but how to address the major training problem that power meters are supposed to address.

The problem is that of finding a reliable performance baseline to work from and then monitoring your progress in real time.

Beach Road is maybe a little too flat for this, and I am assuming it is also an example of the worst possible place to get reliable feedback, that is to say I am guessing it is often windy, with changeable winds.

So let me try to describe this in rather vague terms, because I am sure your coach already knows this and can help at your end.

My technique is to restrict variables by finding a climb steep enough to force you to work a little, long enough to challenge your heart rate, and covered from prevailing winds enough so that you have some hope of returning to the same slope again and again as you improve.

Whereas the Powertap does make a distinction between torque (at the pedals) and watts (at the wheel), it only does so in the software after download.

Therefore when I noticed the wildly wide variation in effort on the pedals that is possible to receive any given amount of wattage output (speed), I was perturbed to find the Powertap torque measurement is not available while on the bicycle (and SRM doesn't give it ever), so I had to figure out a way to get a reliable reference for my wife to use while she was riding, and once we established that system, I realized it could be done without a power meter, just a cadence counter.

It has to be a magnet and sensor absolute reading, not a derived from formula cadence.

I saw that the torque data was very consistent if looking at known wattages, on a known slope, at a given cadence, so I started having her watch her cadence instead of her wattage.

One can call the effort Watts, Newton Meters, or Shrimps on the Barbie for all I care, I just wanted a reliable, repeatable measurement, and cadence (in a given gear over the same slope hidden from the wind) does a perfectly adequate job.

Choose your smooth steady slope (where you can get a good 1 to 2 minute interval); find the gearing which allows you your highest comfortable cadence (your coach might take a look at that for you); then monitor using your Averaged Cadence Interval.

My wife uses two units, one showing average and one showing current cadence, but I am hoping your 810 can give you both readings at the same time.

The goal is to be able to increase your gear by one click higher while holding the same cadence over the same challenging interval on your known slope that is hidden from the wind (best it can be).

To work on your spin efficiency you might instead just try to increase your averaged cadence by 1 or 2 rpm.

The only thing that any of the current power meters will give you insight into beyond this use of cadence is how insanely variable the amount of effort on the pedals is required for any given wattage.

You can be pushing really, really, really hard for 200 watts, or really easy for 400 watts, and speed of cadence is a large part of that equation (given you have a smooth even balanced spin at the given cadence).

Wattage is of course more of an absolute reference to speed than it is to effort on the pedals.

I am sure your coach knows this, so I would be very interested if they can repeat the results I found with the Powertap using the Quarq.

If she ever has a minute, see if you can get her (or him) to go up one of the longer rollers, establish a smooth relatively high wattage, then click down two gears easier while increasing cadence.

The power meter should spike 10 watts higher (more or less, if it is responsive enough and the delayed reading inherent in all these devices is considered) while the effort felt in the legs will be less.

People used to be absolutely flabbergasted when they saw this happen, but with power meters available to more people (and my book pointing it out), it has probably become common knowledge.

In any case, thank you for allowing me to use you as my guinea pig

 
67072/5/2014 10:05:24 PMMark McKillopThanks Bob.

I haven't purchased the Vectors yet.

I thought it would be useful to pick a power meter which measures torque at the crank as well as watts given your advice in the book concerning the importance of efficiency as well as watts.

Given the Garmin measures watts through analysing force at the pedal crank it seems to me it is really measuring torque rather than watts and presumably translating to watts by a linear formula.

There is a Garmin speciality dealer near me, so I will invstigate through them.

I have been training using HR mainly and estimated power based on Strava charts, with my coach who has a quarq and swears by it.

The price for the Vector is down to $1250 AUD here now which is still more than want to pay, so I will hold off for a while.

 If you have a trip computer that measures cadence using a sensor and magnet on the crank and which will give you an averaged interval (so you can focus on your performance without counting), I could step you through using it for precision training in a way that will be 99.9% as useful as all current power meters.

That is if also you are in an area with some really good hills with one of about a quarter mile of a relatively regular moderate slope.

Though you might be able to do it on a stationary trainer as well.

By your IP# and your comfortable English, it appears you may live in Australia.

BTW: I am sure that by now you are aware Strava is routinely off by 1 to 2 tenths of a mile one way or another most of the time, making precise measurements impossible.

 
67062/5/2014 5:20:34 AMMark McKillopDoes anyone know if the Garmin vector, which is said to measure power "at the pedals," is in effect measuring torque as described in the book?

 If Garmin would like to provide me with a few of their devices, along with some riders who are drug free and have the requisite computer and analytical skills plus are intensely interested in understanding their own cycling performance, and if Garmin will pay for me to perform a thorough review of their product, I would be glad to give a rational report on the correctness of their unit.

Otherwise I have been disappointed far too many times with regard to product promises vs actual product performance to even hazard a guess.

Last time I looked at the information Garmin provides, the pedals are the right idea, but it does not appear they have yet overcome the basic problems in terms of sampling speed, on bicycle reporting, and accuracy.

But neither has Powertap, SRM, nor anybody else.

I would caution Garmin that merely paying me to take a look at their pedals would not guarantee a positive review, and I would of course maintain control of my research to publish here.

In any case, I am not sure the correctness of the data is relevant to most riders as the main goal generally appears to be showing up for a group ride with the appropriate cycling bling.

On the other hand, I would be intensely interested in hearing about your own results with the pedals, Mark, so feel free to report here in the Forum.

I would add that given the number of people who use my online power calculator and read Cycling Performance Simplified, there actually does seem to be some interest in correct data, and your reading pattern of the book implies you are in that camp (as opposed to the bling for bling's sake camp).

So thank you for the question, and post here anytime.

 
67012/2/2014 3:24:40 PMRye
Daire
I read with much interest comments regarding Baby Clams, and I am pleased to see that Glenn Babikian is still such a strong rider.

 Fuck you. 
66991/31/2014 10:36:37 PMFloridianThat Baby Clams guy looks like a bad circumcision job!

 Actually he is pretty much a hand job!

 
66981/31/2014 10:33:45 PMFloridianWhy don't we line up at the bottom of KAIN and race up it!

What do you think?

The first crossing the finish line gets 1 free ice cream ... tail gating Danny will love this.

 We don't do Kain anymore; we are working on Glade Hill (slightly steeper, 3 times as long).

Only losers do Kain.

Oh, I guess you're right then; Danny would love it.

 
66631/18/2014 12:40:11 PMARC
Staff
HUMP REPORT

 He, "Baby Clams" Glenn Babikian (the cyclist formerly known as "Pretty Boy"), would have won anyway, even if everybody had shown up.

 
66201/1/2014 6:10:12 PMGreg TI'm honored. Thank you.

 You were told to stop weaseling, so stop it!

 
66191/1/2014 4:55:49 PMGreg TReally?

Is this an honorary title?

I've been sick in bed all last night and today, and I haven't been up Kain since Christmas Eve!

So, if someone has gone up in 2014, they haven't gotten the recognition they deserve.

 Nobody has gone up, and you would have beaten them anyway by going up early like the three little pigs getting to the fair before the big bad Wolfe.

Besides, the last time we mailed a T-shirt and water bottle to somebody for their accomplisment on Kain, they did not even bother to tell us they got it ... even after a follow up e-mail from Widder.

Then another rider didn't even forward their mailing address to get their booty after Mary timed him and took a photo.

At least we can count on you to complain about the medal if nothing else.

It is the last one that will be awarded, and you've got it, buddy.

No way out of it, so quit your weaseling.

 
66151/1/2014 12:00:00 AMARC
Event
Officials
Winner of the 2014 Kain Assault Baseline (the final baseline) is second time winner Fuicktard Greg Tsoucalas.

 Details to follow; the medal is in the mail.

 
661212/29/2013 8:30:25 PMGarciaHa! Are we not men, my friend!

Did you knowingly give the cup to Mr. F?

Did you change the rules after the fact because you were smitten?

Was he apprised of the rules beforehand?

Was he asked, but refused, to return the cup to Andreas?

Were you (bite my tongue) rude in asking?

Were you nice?

No matter.

Garcia does not do nice!

 Some of us are men; some are riders in the local club.

Mr. F was a ringer brought in from below the New Jersey line, not the first time somebody actually willing to do some work came up over a border.

The ringer was brought in to lay waste to my chirping about how strong, wonderful, and unbeatable my compatriots in climbing had become.

I changed the rules after the fact not because I was smitten but because I was beaten.

Fantoothful took the cup, brought it home, and when e-mails went out to hand it over to Andreas, those e-mails were met with dead silence ... not even so much as one single smiley face was returned.

My query did not go to Foodooful himself, but to his keeper, whom I assume knew better than to ask his climb monkey face to face to return the booty, nor had he the guts to respond to my very polite obsequious imploring.

In the meantime, Andreas got some hair brained idea that Mine Road is harder than Kain although any rider worth his salt knows that other climb has the hard part at the bottom so is much, much easier.

Garcia may do whatever she wishes, neither nice nor naughty is going to help.

Somebody showing up on the day of the competition might have helped.

Instead of the entire local club riding down 17A to the top of Kain, only to peer over the cliff watching a host of actual riders toiling up loop after loop on Kain (fast I might add), only to mumble en masse, "Interesting," before riding away.

That might have helped, somebody at least trying, but all that is in the past, and now the cup is merely legend while the New Jersey crew runs an actual benefit ride on Kain every year which local riders are still too scared to attend.

Flipdoozo earned the cup, has it, and that's it.

As for American Road Cycling we have taken the competition underground on a "by invitation only" adding a 40 mile warmup over Minnewaska and moving it to Fern Glade Road which although not so very much steeper than Kain, it is three (3) times as long ... not likely the locals will ever be seen on that inglorious slope even if given an invitation.

Of course I will never make that invitation, though I might call Widder down off Glade to reclaim her KOM if ever a woman gets the gumption to beat her Kain and be immediately dashed back down again.

 
661112/29/2013 5:15:01 PMGreg TBut your leader board shows Humberto with the fastest time for 2013.

I thought the rules say that in any given year the cup keeps passing to the fastest ascender.

What gives?

 Those were the old rules, before Fucktuzo stole the cup, took it across the border to New Jeresey, and the local riders refused (couldn't) do a thing about it.

Now the local club will let anybody go up Kain (you don't even have to have any ability), and the old cup wars are lost to legend.

 
661012/29/2013 3:20:00 PMARC
Bullshit
Monitoring
Service
HEY, TSOUCALAS!

As a general rule of thumb, those stories take more than 12 seconds each to read.

 Leave Greg alone.

 
660912/29/2013 12:00:34 PMHum berto Watch it!!!!

Jimmy is a super nice guy, but he will have no problem taking you behind a building and kicking your ass.

 Have you lost your fucking mind?

Jimmy can take me behind any building he likes, and all's I will tell him is to save what little strength he has and forget it; Mary is ordering the Kain Baseline medal tomorrow.

 
660812/29/2013 11:59:04 AMNo DefenseThe 2014 Kain baseline is up for grabs as the 2013 recipient will not be able to defend until March.

Most local riders who would actually attempt it, rode Kain a week and a half early and are unlikely to try it again without ice cream on top.

What will the New Year bring?

 Have you lost your fucking mind?

The Kain baseline is reset from scratch the first of every year, so there truly is no defense of it ... one just has to do it and at the appropriate time.

As for the local riders: must I remind you that the day Fatusso grabbed the cup, it was only one (1) of his eight (8) loops down 17m, right onto Iron Forge, then back up Kain.

There were three (3) people in that scurrilous New Jersey crowd who did as many loops, plus two (2) women who each did three (3) loops plus one (1) woman who did two (2) loops.

I almost forgot: one (1) guy was in training so wasn't allowed on his bicycle ... he only did two (2) loops barefoot running.

Not only are the pussy local riders unlikely to do it again this year, they likely wouldn't go up Kain ever again, even in a trolley car with the promise of a free lifetime supply of ice-cream at the top.

Bunch of slow-assed losers for my money.

What will the New Year bring?

Nothing but trouble I'd imagine, same as always.

 
660712/29/2013 11:37:06 AMGreg TI will go get that cup if you can tell me who last had it.

Was it Anthony Fatuzzo?

From what I can see from your leader board, that cup should be in the protective custody of Humberto.

So, give me a name, and I will take the message to Garcia!

 Have you lost your fucking mind?

"... should be in the protective custody of Humberto."

Did you say that because Humberto is currently so far down on the leader board I almost had to open up a whole new website just to hold the number of names of people over top him?

Of course Fat-Oozo (Oohpah) has the cup (see the tippity-top of the board).

He grabbed it, has it at home, and will probably kick Garcia's ass just because you mentioned his name.

Better tone it down a bit; things could get ugly.

 
660612/28/2013 8:01:35 PMHum bertoI don't know why you idiots make such a big deal about KAIN.

I am in Florida training to go up KAIN, and the Trophy is mine.

 Hope ya got a good New Jersey map and a search team; we haven't seen that trophy in years.

BTW: Maybe you know this guy. >>>

EXTRA
LINK...
660412/27/2013 11:34:21 PMGreg TSo, who is Jimmy Calandrillo?

 Mary Ellen (Slider)'s husband Sissy Boy.

Nobody likes him, ever since he called Paul Levine a Howdy Doody Douchebag.

I don't know what all the fuss was about; he was just saying what he believed.

Maybe people got upset because it was true.

 
659112/23/2013 12:46:57 PMSlingShotBaby Clams was in and reminded us about the impending Kain Assault date, so we took the opportunity to make sure everybody's aware there will be no Baseline Medal this year.

 Those guys from New Jersey stole the Kain Cup, and New York has no extradition treaty with New Jersey, nor have any of the local riders exhibited anything like the skills that would be required to take it back.

Case closed.

 
655912/3/2013 2:51:43 AMBobservantWow.

I just did a search for your poem (in quotes), and that particular construction is unique on the Internet!

 In a few days you will be able to find it, but only right here, and all those other similar returns will disappear.

 
655812/3/2013 1:57:32 AMConnie
Rose
Given the fact you hate talking to people, I find it odd you are working toward a PhD in Linguistics.

 Linguistics is not about talking to people.

Linguistics is about observing how people talk to each other.

Did you know that in France to live is to see?

Actually see in the past and live in the present.

Ironically the simple truth of the matter can neither be stated in French nor in English.

If you ever did write it in French, even though it should be immediately obvious to every French speaker, you would only be told it is grammatically incorrect.

In English the concept itself seems impossible, or at least that has been my observation in Sugar Loaf ... where a large number of people live without seeing.

So how's about that, looks like I just wrote my first French poem.

"Tu vis est tu vis."

 
655711/25/2013 12:33:41 AMBob
Fugett
I had occasion to look up the difference between 'industrial' vs 'artisanal' with regard to something I was reading in French.

What I stumbled upon was the fact that some communities (Countries, to be more specific) actually go out of their way to draw a clear distinction between merchants, craftsmen, and industrialists ... and in so doing they establish a very simple comparison.

In fact it is a legal distinction and throws an obvious light on the reasons artisans always do better than merchants in Sugar Loaf.

Here are a couple of easy paragraphs in English:


 If anybody shows further interest, I will explain the difference between an artisan and an artist, and that explanation will cause a war.

In the meantime, I will go back to trying to figure out why it is that when I clear my throat around francophones they think I said something.

 
655511/20/2013 9:39:27 PMPam
Huling
Hello Bob,

How are you? Hope you're well.

It's been a while, but the final piece has been published today for the John Markus short-form documentary video, and I thought you'd be interested in seeing it.

You are welcome to post it on the blog if you think that would be appropriate:

JOHN MARKUS
The Fabulous Lipitones

once on page
click "Video" text link
right side below image


Thank you once again for all of your help!

We hope you enjoy the piece.

All the best,
Pam

 Perfect!

It was great to see John's mom and dad again, and the excerpts from the historic London, Ohio, video gives me a chance to point to a taste of the full length video available at the London Public Library.

[This is a follow up to London, Ohio posts starting at #6287-6371]

 
655411/19/2013 10:49:20 AMCuryousThere is something oddly backwards about that heated negotiation.

 Standard Sugar Loaf.

In any case, Peter was rather kind in accepting the money; most of our neighbors won't even speak to us.

 
655311/19/2013 10:27:13 AMConnie
Rose
I saw a rip roaring fight outside Anne Marie's Deli this morning between Peter Von Uchtrup, of 18th Century Furniture, and Mary Endico, of herself.

It was something to behold, what with Mary being about 1/64th the size of Peter.

What was that all about?

 It was a fight over the price of one of Peter and Manon's tables.

Mary was trying to give Peter a check, and he was refusing it.

It was a custom made table that was constructed specifically to fit in the entryway of the Endico studio, and there was some question over what it was worth.

Negotiations began at zero, then quickly escalated to $100 dollars when Peter realized the gristly little old pygmy woman wasn't going to budge on writing a check.

Mary finally talked him up to $200 dollars after refusing his $150 dollar offer several times.

The table only went so cheaply because I had failed to clarify with Mary beforehand the bottom line.

Manon Von Uchtrup had shown up to deliver the table without a bill, but Mary remembered the table she pointed to as model for the custom job was marked $400 dollars.

So I told Mary to give them a check for $1,000 dollars (after all it was a custom job), and if they didn't take the money, I was going to carry the table back myself, but I missed telling Mary to accept absolutely no less than $400 if Peter tried to talk her down.

If 18th Century would charge what their product is worth, Manon might not have to be working five (5) other jobs (though I do suspect she just likes being out in the community doing significant work).

Just a miscommunication was all.

 
652210/13/2013 1:15:50 PMA. StuteDoug Allen must have one big fat ass wheel if everybody keeps hitting it.

 You had me at fat ass.

 
651610/4/2013 10:14:59 PMWayne BoddyHi Bob,

Not a question, just a thank you for the excellent information posted on your website and in your forum.

I would especially like to thank you for the research you put into the reference materials.

I now own a e-copy of Peter Esgocue's Health through Motion, (that was all that was available) and hard copies of the Anatomy of Movement series.

The exercises that Egoscue prescribes are simple, easy and effective.

After a thirty (yup 30) year hiatus, I am back in the saddle with the exercises keeping me going forward.

thanks again
Wayne

 I guess this is where I should pitch a product.

Whoops, I don't have a product.

Maybe I should have a product.

No, that sounds like work, and I would rather be on my bike.

In any case, thanks for the thanks ... now get out on your bicycle.

 
64699/20/2013 10:20:15 AMWatt
4
How 'bout them new Garmin pedal power meters?

 Mary sent me a link to a review, and I got all excited (because that is where one would get the best power reading), but then I saw "three pedal revolutions" to register measurement, and the use of an "accelerometer," so no better than a Powertap at this point.

Fortunately they are also expensive; therefore I will not likely have to field any questions about them ... given the already proven total lack of interest by the local riders in power measurements overall.

 
64649/16/2013 1:18:53 PMGilles HoschHi Bill,

I have been cycling for almost 5 years now, and take immense pleasure in it. I am also born with an (un)healthy sense for competition, and so I am trying to figure how I measure up with "the boys."

My racer does not have a power meter as yet - but it is coming ...

The reference table t@P/W for 5s, 1m, 5m and FT particularly caught my attention. at 180W and 82kg, I manage 2.2W/kg "for a semi-eternal amount of time"... however, according to the table - and assuming I should check under FT - that basically means I have never been sitting on a bike, and am in reality an "untrained" 350lb couch potato barely able to breathe; which is not accurate... or not quite let's say...

Now - following Chris Horner's victory of the Vuelta yesterday, and widespread press-speak of possible doping, I came across his power meter transcript for stage 14, which he had released to the press earlier last week.

What I found is that his average power output on that mountain stage was 210W for 66kg of body weight.

This gives a 3.18W/kg performance over the stage's course... that puts Chris Horner somewhere in the lower stretches of that same table in the FT column... far away from the world-class athlete that he actually is.

So I wonder what this all means? I know you said it is all a bit relative, and we should look at our own performance instead of drawing comparisons. However, to me the FT column in that table just seems off.

I was almost relieved this morning when I realised that I was not alone, and that Chris Horner was in my team when it came to ranking oddly in that league table.

Thanks for shedding some light into my power cave :)

Best Wishes,

g

 The closest thing I can see to a question here is: "So I wonder what all this means?"

First off, there is no Bill here; I am Bob, so either that is a typo or somebody has figured out a way to put this forum on their own website and trick people into thinking they are me.

As for the numbers, it all means that a generalized averaged number over an entire stage race does not account for teamwork, drafting, and team strategies: "We can go pretty easy most of the time, so long as on that one climb we actually work and just long enough for a photo op with some commentator making it seem like we are all putting in never before seen superhuman efforts, then right back to meandering."

It means that you (and I, who can apparently easily beat you) would do well in such a race, if we could only convince everybody to ride it the way we want them to, push where we choose, ease off where we select, never jump too hard on a severe slope, etc.

Also you will note that the results were published in Watts, not Torque, and there is a big difference in turning 210W on the flat, and turning 210W on a 22% climb.

When you get your power meter (assuming you get one that is accurate and reports Torque at the pedal as well as Watts from the wheel), this will all make perfect sense to you.

If not, come back and ask a question.

 
64479/8/2013 9:29:39 AMCuryousI heard everybody is doing a Gran Fondo today.

What is a Gran Fondo?

 A marketing term.

The longest distance course today (and there are two shorter) is only 107 miles.

When I joined the local club, the annual published public ride had a 125 mile loop in it (over actual hills), but it was still just called a "ride" and lots of people showed up.

But that was back when there were cyclists in the club.

 
64469/8/2013 9:09:21 AMDaily
Whac
-A-
Mole
What has Widder been up to?

 This morning, after running her first sub-8 minute mile on Friday, her first 10k (6.3 miles; and on mountain trails).EXTRA
LINK...
64409/5/2013 1:02:26 PMA. StuteWell that was cold.

 Tough love.

Sometimes you have to.

 
64399/5/2013 12:12:29 AMCharles I believe it will need to be updated b/c the majority of athletes from the tour already had lower watt/kilo numbers, etc. in the past few years.

Also, performance numbers have steadily fallen from the late 90's for the majority of riders.

So I wouldn't be any faster if I used PED's for the past few years?

If EPO has such short term effects why would pro's take it in the off season then some stop or reduce it before racing?

From what you guys are saying EPO wouldn't benefit them in off season training. Not wanting to argue more interested in learning about it.

 In summary, I only deal in verifiable data, so that puts me somewhat at a loss.

To address your final statement first with regard to "you guys":

There are no "you guys" here, only somebody who posted using the name "Charles Hodges" (easily spoofed), and the next posting by "A. Stute" which is my own posting using a made up name to address the fact that there is no way to verify the name provided by the post previous to it.

Whether or not you are the same person as the previous "Charles Hodges" is also not something that can be verified.

In any case, the first "Charles Hodges" post was certainly a joke, because the chart in question has nothing to do with anything except pointing toward a rational set of goals for cycling performance along with an indication of how to use the information derived from power meters to meet those goals.

The chart will never need to be updated, because it is only a dataset assembled at a certain point in time under a certain set of circumstances and provides a baseline for understanding the data provided by power meters.

Nobody wins or loses anything (certainly not money, fame, nor credential) by besting any number on that chart, while power meters (the correct ones) only provide a repeatable reliable way to overcome the massive variables and myth confronting serious riders who want to logically improve their performance ... based on their own performance.

One of the things I track very closely is the usage of this website, and while the information about power meters is read often, the IP# associated with the previous "Charels Hodges" post and the one associated with this current "Charles" are two separate numbers neither of which were observed reading much of anything regarding power meters either before or after posting.

Of course it is always possible that whoever posted both "Charles" were in fact the same person and that person actually did read a lot of the material provided on this website but arrived from another IP# or two.

However, that is very unlikely, because the person would then understand that nothing about this forum has anything at all to do with PED's or EPO's or any such acronyms.

Plus anybody serious about their long term health would not have the slightest interest in that crap anyway.

Not to mention anybody truly interested in their cycling performance would not be posting in forums but would be grabbing as much information as quickly as they can then getting out on their bike.

My own numbers have been steadily improving since the late 90's due to following that process.

Therefore, it is probably best for me to consider these types of questions and comments merely trolling and nothing more, so I will leave these posts here to put people on notice, but further such nonsense will be toggled off without comment.

There are people showing up here who actually want to learn something.

 
64369/2/2013 7:59:02 PMTurtle-tartarugaThis is just a test.

 Passed.

 
64359/2/2013 9:17:02 AMA. StuteWhy do you believe that is Charles Hodge?

 I don't.

In fact, as far as I can tell, the person who posted that didn't even read the book before doing so.

 
64349/1/2013 1:53:05 PMCharles HodgeI know the chart is for individual reference and performance progression, but do you think it will need to be updated as the sport becomes cleaner?

 Now that's funny!

I guess it will need to be updated, because as soon as top athletes stop doping themselves for short term gain, and destroying their bodies in the process, their careers will extend long enough for them to easily beat all the figures currently on the chart.

That combined with the removal of a multitude of "how to" myths power meters have revealed to be false.

On the other hand, why do you believe the sport will ever be cleaner ... just because somebody you admire tells you it will?

Have you forgotten already?

 
64318/31/2013 6:29:50 PMTurtle-tartarugaOh!

 Don't make me post it; I will.

 
64308/31/2013 2:11:54 PMARC
Web
Hall
Monitors
Did you see what Peg Conner posted on Humberto's farcebroke page?

 Yes, and now the odd lack of a viral Fat SlingShot video makes perfect sense.

Baby Clams is saving his record of my Black Meadow climb for when I win the Hump.

 
64268/30/2013 3:36:34 PMddoTMy bottles are locked and loaded for the Hump with every known form of human growth hormone and EPO ever dreamed up.

Hopefully I won't have to pee in a cup after.

I may miss the ride though, because I cannot stop staring at this new splash of paint on my wall.

It's remarkable.

 Just make sure to take both your bottles and leave one empty.

That way when you have to pee in the cup, you can use the empty water bottle instead and sell it to one of the losers coming in after you.

You can leave the label as is.

BTW: That splash of color on your wall is real; this ain't the 60's for kripes sake.

 
64258/29/2013 10:58:00 PMARC
Staff
Clay Boone just rolled back into town, and Bob already got in trouble.

Bob was complimenting him (or so he thought) on the eight (8) new signs Clay did while out west.

Bob said, "Man Clay, those are beautiful. You sure brought wood working to a whole new level."

Angrily Clay cut him short with an almost spitting, "They're not wood workings, they're wood carvings! Don't you ever call them workings!"

 So now I know never to call them wood workings; I already knew never to call skin illustrations tattoos.

Live and learn.

 
64238/28/2013 9:10:24 AMddoTGIVE IT TO ME!

Let me know when you want to go for a trail run. Although I'm a decent cyclist and a pretty good triathlete, my favorite form of hurting myself is probably trail running. Be warned: all of my friends who have had the balls to run in the woods with me usually come out bleeding, limping, or both.

Where the fuck is Blaster? I know he rode across the country a couple years ago, did he fall off the end?

 Your package is being prepared and will be sent today ... not that package.

We were just talking about sending it even if you failed to post, just to piss you off.

Mary is off to get her hair cut, and Jim is off to who the fuck knows where.

Ever since Buckley won all his races, got too strong for his own good, stood to sprint on Warwick Turnpike (during a solo training ride), popped his chain and woke up on the side of the road with some motorist standing over him asking, "Are you ok?" the Harriman rides went to hell, and the whole Van Natta contingent left the planet.

Something about Buckley's broken ischium.

Get on the Blaster horn and try to roust Jim.

You might tell him he was just mentioned here a few days ago (6413) because his mild paces would be kicking all the locals asses in their little GPS nonsense competitions.

Jim Amels might like to come back and show 'em how.

Let him know I am currently fat enough to be had.

Mary will harass you about running on Farcebroke.

EXTRA
LINK...
64228/27/2013 1:36:35 PMRumor HasitI heard Mary is running around with a black guy.

 I'll probably get blamed for that too.

 
64168/25/2013 10:54:57 PMB.OtchThe dog did it. Probably the one and only time in the total history of Mankind that this statement is true. Should probably come up with a fake story that sounds better. Don't pick anything that has to do with falling in showers or walking into doors. Good luck.

 Which was the very first thing out of my mouth when she pointed it out to me, "Oh, great! You know who is going to get blamed for this in a town of alcoholics and battered women?"

Our little Miss Polyanna could not believe it true.

Now she sees, albeit poorly.

The only thing saving me is the fact that people who know her understand it is obviously impossible for it to have been me.

I am still alive.

But the world being what it is, my only recourse seems to be to shoot myself and leave her trying to explain how she didn't do it.

At least she'll get a medal for it.

 
64138/24/2013 9:59:13 AMBene
Kounder
How are those numbers stacking up?

 Widder rolls in all sweaty from her morning ride, and I have to read her the riot act.

Just for kicks she tried one of those bullshit local QOM sections, kicked ass, but had to have it explained to her that she was screwing up her precision training ... and for nothing.

First off she used her STRAVA connection which automatically records the interval, but she herself doesn't know exactly where it starts or ends, just has a general idea.

Not very conducive to a precise performance.

Then there is the fact that STRAVA GPS is routinely 1 to 2 tenths of a mile off at all times; Humberto even reports a ride where somebody riding with him for the entire ride recorded 6 miles less at the end.

Plus the section that Mary did includes two right hand turns into traffic, both with less than perfect sight distance.

Way to go, whoever set that up, encouraging people to risk their life for a meaningless number.

Not to mention STRAVA doesn't show if you are drafting, on a motorcycle, or what; and Mary knows at least one section of the local "competitions" where in the past she has routinely ridden 31+ mph while drafting Jim Amels, and the current record is only 28.1+, so she knows at least one rider who would decimate that record even on the front.

Therefore, given the significant spread possible for the unknown variables, it is impossible to judge one's performance against any other recorded and reported performance ... stupid locals.

Nobody has even bothered to post the specific start and finish points: unlike the Kain climb which has been clearly marked and described here on the American Road Cycling website.

Happily, The Black Widow did not have to break a sweat (and disrupt her actual training) while laying waste to the current QOM, and she only came home sweaty because she did some Kain repeats before and after her victory.

Still, I have told her numerous times her goal is KOMs not QOMs.

As an aside, somebody should explain to Humberto that "young and pretty" does not equal "fast" though his eye would be clearly averted from that fact.

 
64108/22/2013 10:02:56 AMARC
IP Trackers
Division
We notice that yesterday an IP# loosely assumed to be somewhat Greg Tsoucalas related showed up here via a google search for: Jimmy Calandrillo.

We have no idea what that's all about.

 Neither do I.

 
64098/21/2013 6:23:41 PMTurtle
Boy
So what are you going to do now?

 The only thing I can do.

If I don't go immediately out for ice cream, the terrorist wins.

 
64088/21/2013 6:03:15 PMGlennMan up and take your lumps, SlingShot.

 Screw you, Baby Clams.

 
64078/21/2013 5:56:14 PMARC Image
Consultants and
Campaign
Management
Anyone owning the reproduction rights and video of SlingShot limping up a hill today on Black Meadow Road and looking like a fat Humberto, please turn in the rights and video to the Endico studio in trade for a very expensive painting.

 I am FUCKED!

The trouble is Humberto gets to look that fat and then gets fast again; I only get older.

 
63968/13/2013 8:25:34 AMConnieYes, it would have been generous of you to use that edited space to place a gentle reminder.

Save the Bobofrogturtle Shrimp Eating Sugar Loaf Pond Whale!

Of course now, maybe 10,000 flyers tossed to the ground may end up to be an artsy-looking paper mache sidewalk?

 That is the hope.

On the other hand these flyers have historically been a great help, maybe not the worthless current crop of them, but the old timey Jon Baugh versions like our newest is.

However, town flyers may be only a help to Endico I guess, because Endico is the only person in town who seems to need to make a living from people coming to town.

Nobody else in town gives a shit about Sugar Loaf; they just use it as a bedroom community for doing Renaissance Fairs and Religious Festivals or writing historic books from afar while hamstringing the local community in hopes of supporting their thesis it can't be done any other way.

Good luck to newcomer shop keepers finding out the truth ... much less outsiders finding out the true uniqueness of the hamlet.

So far our experience has been that even just picking up that flyer and glancing at it goes a long way toward revealing the truth of the matter.

Those flyers ending up on the ground afterwards will just be gravy ... and provide another economic recovery jobs program for clean-up services plus fodder for recycling.

We are just doing our part.

Did you know Nick Zungoli was spotted yesterday morning, shirtless and across the street from his studio, cleaning up the mess his neighbors have allowed to fester?

I hate the man, and even I have to state right out loud that was pretty impressive.

Somebody doing something more than bitching.

 
63958/12/2013 11:45:48 PM What will you do when your hysterical sense of humor catches on?

 Been there; done that.

Finally someone who has never read American Road Cycling.

It is my sad duty to inform you that there are bicycle shops where applicants to employment have been warned, "You just have to remember one thing: during work hours no American Road Cycling.

Therefore I cannot say what I will do, but I can assure you what I won't do: make any money on it.

Like I said: been there; done that.

 
63948/12/2013 10:17:39 PMConnieI like it.

If I had to make a change (or changes), I would delete the caution paragraph.

Also I would omit paragraph three (also a disclaimer) plus I would take out, "The problem for visitors has ..." as well.

OK, delete too the "Sorry folks" (just those two words).

There! I said it. That's my edit.

Otherwise I like the honesty and realness of the description.

That's why I didn't like the sorry's or disclaimers so much.

Sugar loaf is what it is and those who know it love it.

Or ya know ... they go off to make a bajillion dollars somewhere else. :)

 I guess Connie missed the fact that the intro disclaimer should be read, "Put down my goddamn flyer asshole and leave it for somebody who's got a brain," while the "Sorry folks" should be read as "Fuck you, this is how it is ..."

Nevertheless Connie is right, and I should have made all that clearer, but I didn't want to take the easy way out and use bad words.

Paragraph three is just there so the reader can sit down before being told, "Nobody is ever open, but that's a good thing."

Actually I just needed to fill up space that I planned to use for a photo of one of Connie's pieces, but I never could get a straight answer out of Boz about what he wants to do with his life.

Too bad it's already at the printers, or I could scrap that whole section and put in a picture of a loafing bog frog turtle wrapped in colorful banners being smoked in a blown glass bong full of magic crystals.

Maybe a few dozen display ads.

You know .... something to fit in.

Next time I'd better run it through committee and then let them put together a focus group to apply for a grant to pay for it.

That should smooth out the language.

Hope the way it is doesn't make people talk about it.

 
63938/12/2013 9:25:52 PMConnieThank you so much.

While reading your reply email, I laughed and breathed in the raw flax seeds I was eating.

 Now I am confronted by a quandary.

I wish that in good conscience I could publish both your own email to me (for context which current readers have missed) along with my response to you (which contains colorful if not artistic language).

If this were the American Road Cycling Chatterbox, I could publish both with no thought, but over here at the Sugar Guild Website, I have to tone things down a bit.

First off, I would chance losing a large portion of my current readership.

Here is the math.

The Sugar Loaf Guild Forum has three (3) sometimes readers, so losing even one would be a major blow to the ratings.

Also there is the matter of the possibility in the future some actual person interested in Sugar Loaf might show up and be so offended they don't even bother coming to town to be disappointed by the lack of open shops.

They might have missed the brochure and understanding that having closed shops is a good thing.

I guess I am stuck.

Only you, Connie, will ever get to see that little bit of my best writing ever.

On the other hand, I have detected a couple spelling errors in your own posting here; I believe the correct spelling for "flax" is "hemp" and the correct spelling for "eating" is "smoking."

In any case drape yourself over an armchair with your solar plexus placed firmly against the back and have Yoga Girl (Boswell) jump on you.

That should dislodge whatever it is that got up your nose.

Anyway ... -b

 
63908/12/2013 1:25:48 AMBradBob, it may not seem like it if you were to visit my site right now but I am actually busy putting your table template to use.

Currently I am doing all of my work in a testdev version of my "lobby" so that I can work out kinks and mistakes as I go along.

1.) I successfully established your table source code which was easy enough.

2.) It took me two full evenings of late night work just to simply pull every single one of the images off of your web site and onto my computer. (SHEESH there are A LOT of images!!!! Your hard work with dad's sites over the past several years is very evident and I don't think dad or anyone else could ever know how much hard work, time and energy you have put in. We are always appreciative, very thankful and in debt to you!) Anyway, the images are all in my images folder waiting to be transferred over to my root directory any time I'm ready.

3.) On the testdev version of my source code I have been continuing the table, very slowly but surely, and adding images along the way. Once I have all of the images on the "lobby" page then I'll begin to add the "href" options to each of the images, and the new pages for each of those images, so that you can click on each one to see a larger view of the image.

4.) Once I have all of this accomplished then I will rename the testdev version and overwrite the original version of "lobby." Next I'll drag the completed new version of the "lobby" onto my root so that it will officially become a part of the site.

5.) When I complete this I will have dad check it out and determine if he likes it this way or if he would rather the images be broken down into categories the way you had them on your site. I happen to like the way you broke them down into categories but that gets very complex and as it is now I'm sure I'm putting way too much time into this. I think one baby step at a time is good right now. I like having a diverse showing of what he's capable of but I'm very slow with this still so I'm just taking it one step at a time.

6.) All of this will take time doing! I'll get a couple hours here and a couple hours there to work. I'll also get a little more efficient each time but it's slow going for now. You know I'm not a computer tech!!!

So, that is the status update. It may not look like it but I'm working. Amazingly I've actually worked many hours but I'm learning a lot and getting better.

Next time I'm up (and I don't know when that will be yet) I'll ask you to look at some issues I'm having, aesthetically speaking, and see if you to show me how to fix.

Thanks again for all your help!!!

 Hey, don't blame me for the number of images; that is all Clay Boone at work, and all those images are but an ittsy bittsy corner of the vast body of work he has completed ... not to mention the three (3 at least) signs he's done out west.

I've been trying to explain to Randy how that kind of output defines what a true artist does, because the truth about what has made Sugar Loaf great remains a hidden treasure (to the steady stream of here today, gone tomorrow hangers on with pretend venues), and there are still remnants of that view in Randy's perception of Sugar Loaf, which he sees as a splintered group of trendy shops.

The underlying glue that holds it together has always been hidden by the flurry of activity of wannabees over top of it, so you can't blame Randy for seeing it that way.

He will eventually understand, however, because Randy is in fact a true artist himself.

I've been telling people he is Charlie Maninno Light, because he has that creative spark and also does a lot of work with found objects, except at the moment Randy is using a bunch of low quality junk purchased at A.C. Moore, so his work is crap — but he is still experiencing strong sales (his first month open) which should be a lesson to every shop in town who fails to open their doors, and treat people right, but complains about their state of affairs.

The fact is, if you MAKE it, they will not only come they will buy it.

But like I said, Randy is the real deal, and some of his found objects actually are repurposed goods from the real world, so there is hope for him.

I look forward to the day I can stop saying, "Yeah, Randy is Charlie Light, but right now his work is total crap."

It is an overstatement anyway.

I did tell Randy I thought you were showing up on the Guild site to grab images when I explained the only people coming to the Guild forum are you, Connie, and Randy.

I had noticed the odd attachments coming from your same IP area, but with a slightly different arrival footprint.

So you are working on files that are only on your laptop?

I have tried all kinds of variations on what I figured you might name the test files online but haven't found them.

Here is the caveat: Make sure to test everything online while you are working on it, because sometimes there can be a subtle difference in the way files are served to the web, and it is easy to do a great deal of work only to find you have to redo it once you take it live.

If you have a live version, tell me the page file name so I can check it out.

Too bad you've been busy, I so hoped to get you seated in Clay's studio (without an attack dog) so you could see how much business he is missing (even when he is here).

Randy himself went there several times when he was moving into town (before Clay went west), trying to get Clay to make a sign for him but never connected.

He ended up making his own sign (it is beautiful), and people are already asking him to do one for them.

I see that as a very, very good thing.

I am pretty sure we will have to clean the poop off Clay's floor after he returns, gets going on the new Firehouse table, and I bring Randy over to look at it.

I have been trying to explain the whole thing to Randy, but when he sees it first hand in real life he will be spilling his guts onto the floor so to speak.

Might also become Clay's new neighbor.

BTW: I really haven't done so very much work on Clay's sites, I am just better than anybody on this planet when it comes to automating repetitive tasks, and handling such things as project planning, management and follow through, online coding, databases, organization of information, and mostly the articulation and presentation of all this plus getting stuff to the top of Google, etc.

The truth of the matter is that it is not so much the amount of work, but the vision, basis, and presentation of that work that defines what I have done, but it looks like I will not live long enough for the rest of the world to catch up close enough to get even a glimpse toward understanding.

As long as I get to stay on my bicycle, I really don't care though.

 
63888/11/2013 9:42:20 AMJenn
Wine
Describe your proudest moment.

 

 
63818/8/2013 10:41:39 AMARC
iTeam
Glenn Baby Clams dropped by yesterday and browsed the Chatterbox to see what you people are up to.

 Who?

 
63798/5/2013 11:25:53 PMWeb
Presence
Partitioneers
Thanks, Brad.

 Whois all set : )

 
63788/5/2013 4:35:39 PMBradOutstanding! I'll hop on tonight and tool around

 We're cookin' with gas now, my friends!

 
63748/4/2013 10:31:46 PMBradOk, all done. No problems with the domain additions.

Next step is to begin the process of setting up pictures in a table format the same way that you had on your site.

I'd also like to learn how to re-size the images to thumb-nails so that they don't take forever to load on the page.

I'm unsure of when I'll be up next but maybe we could get together for a little bit?

 Both names are serving correctly.

Now do you understand my consternation about how long it took you to log onto your Control Panel and type in two names?

As for the thumbnail sizes, go and Right-Click, Save as... the thumbnails off of Clay's Sugar Loaf Guild profile for Esterbrook Church, Parson's Nook, and The Pawn Broker.

While you are working on that, I'll put together a bare bones Table for you to copy into a test page.


Ok, Brad here's your table (actually 2 of them); look at the source code and paste it below everything else in an indexDEV.htm:


Maybe you will need to refresh your memory using the note I gave you last time we had a Guild Meeting at Cookie's.

As for resizing images yourself, find out if any of your co-workers use an image editor, and if so which one.

I use Photoshop CS2, but it is expensive and 4 versions behind the times.

Use the button (Submittal Form) centered near top of this page to post here.


As an aside, Whois still reports that I am the owner of the two domain names.

In order to update that information:

1) Login to your Control Panel.

2) Click the Domains tab.

3) Click View/Edit for one of the domain names.

4) Update any of the fields that references me with your own info.

5) Repeat for the other name.

 
63738/2/2013 5:00:41 PMBradBob, I just got back from vacation.

I'll hop on the computer tonight and check out if everything is situated on my end.

 Stupendous!

Mary, stop harassing Clay about Brad's whereabouts.

Apparently Brad went on holiday with Randy—who has also been missing from the daily readership rolls and claims a gone fishing exemption.

 
63687/29/2013 2:49:47 PMBob
Fugett
Brad, they finally closed down my version of the site, so Clay's two domain names have stopped serving until you enable them at your end.

 Why do I feel like I am in trouble?

 
63677/28/2013 11:38:36 PMJOOne of the American Road Cycling Officials overheard the following near Orlando yesterday:

"Today that 27 year old guy did the ride again; he was super strong on the flats but couldn't drop that new Humberto guy.

On the last bridge he tried again to drop Humberto — after everyone else was dropped, but it backfired on him!

The guy had no fire extinguisher and Humberto burned him.

People were shocked that the 27 year old got beat, but I was just glad somebody finally did it.

In the parking lot Mr. 27 Years Old comes up to Humberto and goes, "I am not surprised. I know you used to ride with George Hincapie and Tyler Hamilton."

You should have heard it.

Humberto said, 'What the fuck? That was in 1988 and 1989; now I am old, fat, and totally out of shape.'

The guy left."

 Well, Humberto always has been truthful.

Maybe we should contact him and see if he wants Mary and me to come down and show those people how real riders turn the cranks.

 
63647/26/2013 8:20:12 PMBob
Fugett
Brad, I believe you can now:

1) Go to your WinHost Control Panel

2) Click on the "Sites" tab

3) Click on the Big Belly "Manage" link

4) Click on "Domain Pointer"

5) Click "Add" button

6) Type boonewoodcarving.com

7) Click "Create" button

8) Repeat for boonewoodcarvings.com

Done!

 And done.

 
63637/26/2013 12:21:02 AMCuryousSlingShot, I hear that you accidentally showed up for the Thursday night ride in Chester, and now you are all proud of yourself for doing so well.

 Yep, pretty much I have arrived.

It happened near the beginning of the ride when I was in the back with Keith and we were preparing to make our move.

Keith was preparing to move off the front, and I was preparing to move way way way way off the back.

I said to Keith, "Keith, you look too fucking strong; are you on drugs?"

Keith (very proudly) said, "No I am not on drugs, but I was just in a race that was officially drug tested!"

I knew it was finally my moment.

I have now ridden with a rider who raced in a race that was actually drug tested.

This is the big time.

It is never going to get any better for me.

By the way, Keith and I both made our move successfully.

 
63627/25/2013 3:13:31 PMBradSounds good. Now, why do we have boonewoodcarvingS and a boonewoodcarvinG?

 Clay wanted both.

He did not seem to understand that search engines really don't look at the domain name so much as the content, and he wanted to be covered for somebody putting in either or the other.

I knew it was only a $10 one time deal, and I didn't have a real clear answer which he should choose in any case.

I guess I still don't.

Decide on 1, switch your site (now assigned as BigBelly) over to your final choice, then only renew that one and let the others disappear when the registration periods run out.

Shoot, Mary likes the BigBelly domain name so much, maybe you should just keep that one ... Clay's belly ain't likely to ever get any smaller.

On the other hand, the names do give a slight protection against somebody spoofing Clay's domain and hoping for spelling errors to bring searchers over to their own woodcarving website so maybe keep them all ... but that would imply the website is going to be worth anything to anybody anyway, and it isn't.

 
63617/25/2013 1:52:16 PMBob
Fugett
Brad, WinHost says the transfer is complete, and things will stabilize over night.

 Oh, man.

 
63607/24/2013 11:43:08 PMBradThanks again for your help.

 My help was nothing ... or at least it should have been.

I almost ranted at them when I sent WinHost the question / response (sent them only one), but I decided I would only get the standard easy answer "security issue" while realizing they could not afford to have me fix their problem for them and that's why they have never gotten anybody else to do it either.

In any case, here is how this SHOULD have worked.

The same simple panel and process I used to transfer 36 domain names from Network Solutions over to WinHost should have been the exact same simple panel used to complete this transaction of ours.

Neither of us should have been provided, nor asked to provide, account numbers or security questions and responses of the other.

I mean, WinHost has a relationship with you; WinHost has a relationship with me; you should have been able to initiate the process (simply) at your end, and I should have been required to confirm it was acceptable at my end.

Actually either of us should have been able to initiate it, and it should have been the same process either way.

We should never have been pulled into the false logic of "email is more secure so use it" with me having to give up my address to you (even though you already had it).

That is exactly how it worked with transferring my own domains from NetworkSolutions (with the added step of confirming at Winhost's own provider - Tucows).

Of course, WinHost makes money if I transfer domains in, but not if I just shift one sideways, so they have no incentive to make that easy.

Old timey businesses (like Clay) would do that sort of thing because it adds to good singular customer relations, but these new "services" only care about a million at a time.

I mean this domain name transfer is nothing more than a tiny little nothing change in one field of a database.

Take my account number out of the field; put your account number into the field.

I could show you how to do that all day long and in fact do on this very website.

I could myself automate their whole process in an afternoon, and it would work for the next 80 gajillion (actually infinity of) users.

What BS and by that I mean BULLSHIT.

 


Ok, so my writing the above gave them a half hour to respond, and I have not gotten even an automated reply, so we are on track waiting for noon tomorrow, whatever nonsense they want from me afterward, then an overnight while their system catches up.

This is what I meant in the beginning by, "... this should be simple, but then lots of things should be simple that aren't."

Go to bed, Brad.

 
63597/24/2013 11:40:35 PMGuild
Security
The transfer request has been sent.

 I am sure we will be back in a "wait till billing opens tomorrow at noon our time," then wait overnight, then hope for the best type situation.

 
63587/24/2013 11:25:55 PMBradGood luck

 There is not enough of that stuff for this situation.

 
63577/24/2013 11:21:24 PMGuild
Security
Got it.

 Wish me luck.

 
63567/24/2013 11:17:48 PMBradI actually have an aol email address for you. Do you want me to send there?

 I just sent you a note from it, and you may respond to it, but don't let the e-blast event spammers get hold of it.

 
63557/24/2013 11:13:44 PMBradBoth question and response. And there were 2 of them.

 Ok, but now they have pissed me off and forced me to give out my e-mail address. 
63547/24/2013 10:53:33 PMBradBob, I changed my security question. You have my email. Please shoot me a quick email and I'll reply with the information.

 Did you change both question and response, or just the response? 
63537/24/2013 3:47:23 PMBradOk I will get you the information later tonight. Thanks!!

 Once again, sorry for the inconvenience ... humans should not have to endure this.

 
63477/23/2013 7:48:40 PMBob
Fugett
Hi, Brad : )

WinHost wrote back, and to summarize, they need me to pass them an answer to your security question: ██

They suggest you make a temporary change to that answer at your end, send me the temporary answer, then change it back after the transfer takes place.

There is also some nonsense about temporary fees being bounced back and forth between your account and my account during the overnight as the system adjusts to the changes then settles back down.

So make the change at your end (from your Control Panel), let me know the new answer, and I'll e-mail back to them.

Here's their full e-mail to me:


Dear Bob, We can transfer the domain registrations for boonewoodcarvings.com and boonewoodcarving.com from the ██ source account to the ██ destination account for you.

Please reply with a security answer for the ██ account: ██?

We understand the answer may be secret to that account owner. Please ask them to change it to something that can be shared with you. After this is done, they can change it back.

Please also note the following:

- We will transfer the amount paid for the current period of the service from the source account to the destination account. This will result in a balance due on the source account and a credit on the destination account.

- Overnight, the system will credit back the current period of the service on the source account, thus settling the above mentioned balance.

- Overnight, the system will charge the service and make a collection attempt to the destination account as if you were adding a new site to that account.

We await your reply.

Thank you,

Abe
WinHost Billing Department

 This is so fucking stupid it goes without saying they have never had to deal with it before, but I am used to stepping into shit nobody ever thought to clean up.

It is amazing how easy the real stuff works, and how hard they make the stuff that should be routine, so people are wasted stupid by the time they get to the real stuff.

First off, they never should have given me your account number nor the question you have chosen to answer for security.

No wonder corporate and government sites get hacked daily by 12 year olds with too much time on their hands.

However, people put up with it, so I am just glad I will never have to do this again and thankful I am reminded to never ever put anything with security sensitivity on one of these websites.

Sorry for the unholy inconvenience.

Change your security answer to a temporary one, hand the new answer over to me here (do not repeat the question), and cross your fingers.

If they end up charging you anything, I will pay you back.

 
63447/23/2013 10:58:31 AMSlingShotBrad, I see by my morning logs review that you attached to this page from one of your known IP#'s, so I assume you will be checking in here along with your standard Sugar Loaf Guild browsing.

I also believe I see where you hit Clay's site (1:05 am this morning) to confirm it is bumping browsers over to Big Belly; plus I see an instance (maybe) of you hitting the Guild site on your Android using a slightly different Google search than usual (near the time you posted questions).

The story with that final article over there, and why I want to keep it towards the top, is that I tried to explain those circumstances to the Canvas (1.5 hrs on the phone with them), and I am guessing they did not quite get it.

They seem to be going along with everybody else's take on why I am doing this stuff.

In general people treat me like a Carpetbagger who is trying to sell them website design.

They also seem to be putting together an article about me (stupid), so whatever mistaken impression they took away from our conversations might make it into their next "Guild Spotlight," so I am just heading it off at the pass.

After the next issue is out, I will copy that article to the Financial Statement page, giving it persistence and allowing us to move on with Sugar Loaf Business related posts on the Guild Forum.

In any case, in a couple hours we should get the first indication from WinHost regarding how easy it is going to be (or not) to deed over Clay's domain name.

 Ok, that was an aside (bemusing Brad as he continues to track your big game of chess with the Guild website), so everybody else just deal with it.

BTW: Brad, I posted the (obviously composited image) of the newest Clay sign, and your Lobby page is already loading significantly slower because of the sizes of the three new images, so you can grab my smaller tweaked versions to replace the originals in order to make things zingy again.

 
63187/15/2013 9:58:20 AMARC
Staff
A well known local cyclist has been diagnosed with a serious and severely dangerous cycling related injury caused by either repetitive stress, or poor positioning, or overly developed leg muscles:

Everybody should read about it, especially Todd who has complained in the past about similar symptoms.

In any case, the cyclist with the injury will be going in for surgery very soon.

EXTRA
LINK...
Good advice even if that well known local rider is an acknowledged pussy who has likely gotten the injury, not from any of the causes you listed, but from being such a weak and stupid well known loser.

 
63077/12/2013 8:42:58 AMAnonymous

 Really?

 
62957/7/2013 6:43:21 PMBarf BoyRyan had a distinct disadvantage, since he uses a five pound car GPS to track his rides plus he was sore from having to get up at 3am to nurse the baby.

 I have heard that athletes use dabs of petroleum jelly to take care of the nursing soreness.

 
62937/7/2013 1:41:09 PMBarf BoyDudley Do-Right logged his first completion of Kain at 11:21.

I went the easy way and waited for the ice cream stand to open.

 Good thing you always hurl after anybody ever does Kain, or you'd get fat.

You might mention to Mr. Do-Right that staying in the big ring 11 is not a requirement.

In the meantime I will update his Leader Board standing.

BTW: Had you NOT seen the CopperheadNOT series before?

 
62927/7/2013 11:20:41 AMBarf BoyCrackhead Ryan raised the bar on Kain this morning by lowering the time.

He clocked in at 6:51 muttering something about not letting a foreigner hold the best time on a national treasure.

 YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH BOYYYYYYYY, check your stats.

That's a little slow for Ryan.

All o' yuz better stop the fuck mutterin' an' get the fuck' crackin'.

As an aside you people just missed Widder who did 8 repeat intervals over there yesterday.

 
62847/1/2013 12:05:05 PMDorraine ScofieldHi - I was with a friend yesterday walking around Sugar Loaf for the first time and stopped into Endico.

While being blown away with her paintings, I also saw your CD's with the note that they were not actually for sale there but said I could download.

I have not done so yet (only because I'm a musician too & it felt like it would be kind of like stealing).

But I do love your sound and just wanted to communicate that to you!

All the best,
Dorraine Scofield

 Well, you have said the magic words: love your sound, so you certainly have my permission to download my music.

I am sorry the CD's were not for sale in the studio, but it recently came to my attention that I only have 8 left, and the process with which I made them is not so easily repeated... long story involving gold substrate archival CD's and custom 200 year archival printing of the insert done with a printer that is no longer made, and mine is fried.

Thankfully, there is the Internet, so all is not lost.

Please enjoy the music as my special guest and forgive the couple spots where the master tapes were hydrolized by the time I digitized them.

Also, as a first time Sugar Loaf enthusiast, you qualify for a free copy of my book.

I will send you e-mail to get your physical address for sending a complimentary copy.

Extra thanks for taking the time to write and asking about the downloads.

 
62796/26/2013 11:17:49 PMLizI have to tell you that I still love playing my guitar. It is very relaxing and helps me get away from it all. I also volunteered and taught guitar class at my children's elementary school for several years. I even performed at the school Christmas Concert with all of the guitar students. There was a PTA function that I performed out with another PTA Mom who sang Christmas carols. Both of my kids have guitars and my son is finally getting into playing now. His Colonel and some of the other JROTC Cadets play.

I still have my old guitar book from our lessons back in 1980. I have shown my kids my trophy from the guitar competition that we went to. Now that's a blast from the past.

To catch up a little: We moved to Florida all those years ago. My Dad passed in August of 2007. My Mom, brother and sister all still live in the same area. My Mom still has Mary's paintings hanging in her house. I moved about 1/2 hour from my parents back in 1986 and still live in the same town. I have 2 kids. Wyatt is 15 years old and Madison is 11 years old. The kids keep my young. I divorced my husband back in 2009 and life is much better now. Besides playing my guitar, I love to ride my motorcycle. I purchased a motorcycle after the divorce and my boyfriend (Jr. high school crush) and the kids love to ride. It's another relaxing thing for me to do. Life is great!

Well, enough about me. How are both of you? How is Sugar Loaf? I have always told my kids that if we ever go to NY that we will have to go to Sugar Loaf so I can show them the town. When did you open a recording studio?

How did I make "Impulses and Strength" possible? I would love a copy. My address is: ██

 Ok, now we can take my process out for a spin.

Watch this.

With regard to how things are in Sugar Loaf, they are great.

Scroll down the page linked below for current photos of all the shops in Sugar Loaf with hot links to websites, Google Maps, and my own Walking Map:


You can click on any building on the walking map image (linked next) to view the shop that is currently housed there:


However, you might be surprised how many people in town are missing the fact how good things are, so take a look at these nine stories to understand why they are missing out. It starts with:


As a special side trip to see how the recording studio (now gone) developed see the flipbook near the bottom of the page at:


In answer to how you made the book possible: without students to confirm the validity of concepts, how could I know what works, what doesn't, and why?

Therefore your complimentary copy is in the mail.

So there you go, see how my process works?

With a few simple links, I have given you more to read than you are likely to, and I have also established an overview for the next thousand or so people who ask me how things are going.

Cool, huh?

 
62786/26/2013 8:49:18 PMElizabeth
Censullo
VanBrocklin
Oh my gosh. I can't believe this. It has been a few years.

Do you have a Facebook page? How have you been? I remember selling Jelly-Bellies at the store. At least, I think I remember that. Please tell Mary that I said hello.

A friend of mine went to NY and she stopped by last night to tell me about the trip. I pulled up a map to show her where I lived, and the next thing I know is that I was showing her a Google Map of Sugar Loaf and telling her all about you and Mary. Then, I saw that Sylvia passed. She was a sweet lady, and I still have the rock tumbler and the rocks that I bought from her. After that, I started looking for you and Mary. Wow!

 Yes, you were one of the great (jelly) beaners, and you will recall that was way before anybody ever heard of Jelly Bellies.

Now they are everywhere except here.

No need to say hi to Mary, she's been reading along.

Also no Facebook...too restrictive (and insidious) for somebody like me who effectively owns the Internet.

In fact, I always tell people my websites are for the post-tweety-face-world, a statement that will make perfect sense in time.

In the meantime a search for Bob Fugett right now will provide more than anybody should ever want to know about it today.

Since you were one of the test cases that made "Impulse and Strength" possible, where do I send your free complimentary copy?

 
62776/26/2013 8:43:56 PMElizabeth
Censullo
VanBrocklin
Is this the Bob that taught me how to play my guitar alllllll of those years ago?

 Absolutely yes, this is that Bob, but I do believe it was only yesterday, or so it seems.

I remember giving you at least one lesson at your parents house on the corner of Lake View Drive and Pines Hill Road back when I had guitar, would travel for in-home lessons.

 
62766/25/2013 8:54:51 PMElizabeth
Censullo
VanBrocklin
I'm looking for Bob, a guitar teacher from Fantasy Factory, in Sugar Loaf, NY.

He was my guitar teacher many years ago.

I would love to re-connect after all of these years.

Please email me at ██.

P.S. Bob, I still play my guitar. You were an inspiration to me as a child, and I have never forgotten you.

Elizabeth Censullo

 Hi Lizzie : )

This reminds me of one of my favorite new theories.

I always hear people talking about how prescient they are because of how many times somebody they were just thinking about shows up or contacts them.

I finally got aggravated hearing it so many times, so I took a few extra minutes trying to figure out why it is such a common myth.

So here's the theory: what if people's inner mind has absolutely no perception of time?

By that I don't mean a "poor" concept of time, as in I missed that appointment by five minutes because I thought I had longer, but absolutely zero concept of time, as in 10 years, 5 years, 3 minutes, it's all the same to your internal perception.

Plus things you think about as "future" might hold the same timeless space in your mind and be easily transposed to proximity with any other memory or thought (with thoughts being indistinguishable from memories at that level).

Therefore whenever anybody shows up after a long time, you might have thought about them once 7 years before, but your mind's perception (at the basic internal source) could easily transpose it to, "Man, I was just thinking about them!"

So here is how that theory works in this present context: I was just thinking about you last week, and I know exactly when.

I was finishing up one of my bicycle rides that goes by your old house.

I thought, "It is strange how I have never stopped feeling like this is the Censullo house, and they are just gone for the day."

I continued, "What is really odd is how I have the exact same thought every time I ride by here, a couple dozen times each summer, not to mention the times I drive by here in the car (many more) as well."

"Looks like Tommy just finished barbecuing. I wonder if Elizabeth is still playing? She sure was smart and talented."

So thank you for confirming my theory.

I was just thinking about you, and any time you ever would have written I would believe the exact same thing, so it's great to hear you are ok.

That means you win a free copy of Impulse and Strength, but I'll get your physical address via e-mail.

Bob

 
62706/21/2013 11:47:05 AMCuryousWhat else?

 If Connie likes PEMDAS and the effect it can have on a person's understanding of math, she is going to love seeing this simplest explanation of: the essence of absolutely everything ever done with pottery and juggling.

Since Connie is not a cyclist, I have to preface this with: 20 mph on a bicycle will put you with the fast riders, but it is a lot easier than most of them think.

Connie only needs to read down to: force, and then she can go back to working on her book about pottery process—COCS for short.

 
62686/21/2013 8:22:53 AMCuryousWhat do you think?

 That Connie saw: THIS

But she probably would like to see how it all started at: THIS

She should at least pull down to the images of the snakes (Milk Snakes) that people tried to convince me were Copperheads, then compare them to the actual Copperhead shown in the first link.

 
62646/20/2013 1:20:36 PMDr. RoseDamn! Dude. Hope you own an Epi Pen. And don't ever pick up a local Rattlesnake. Wink.

 Mary comes in and says, "I just went over to calm Connie down so she wouldn't worry, but all that happened was she got me hysterical worried."

So we're back to photo chronicling the tick bite.

As for me picking up vipers, I am fairly certain even a lowly Copperhead would kill me.

 
62616/20/2013 12:38:05 AMDr. RoseYou know...Did you go?

 No, but I did come home, got Mary on the project taking pictures to see if it was getting any worse, and a couple hours later things looked better.

This morning things are even better, and my fever broke, and I am not so nauseous.

Mary just came and checked saying, "Well it is a lot better so now I'm not worried."

Yesterday she said, "It does look bad, and if I didn't know how your skin always reacts to such stuff, I'd be as worried as Connie."

Years ago I got poison ivy while we were cleaning out our back yard, had to be put on steroids, and when Don Duke saw my arm (which was a waterfall of ooze) he said, "Looks like a Steven King movie."

My current theory is that I had just iced it commenting to myself, "That's odd. The ice doesn't feel very cold," so I probably gave myself an ice burn.

And that is why it happened so fast and got everybody so worried.

Which reminds me.

As horrible as it looked, and as correctly concerned as you were about it, you do realize that your lungs look a lot worse and are significantly more necrotic, don't you?

Not to mention that the money you spend on cigarettes is probably more than enough to rent Boz's space and begin your lucrative teaching career.

I can see the ads already: Journeyman Sugar Loaf Potter Now Offering Master Classes to a Select Few Students - Not Just the Experience - The Essence of Improvement - Get Good at It - Apply Within.

Of course in order for people to understand what they are getting, those classes will have to be very expensive.

Somebody might have to skip a nail appointment.

BTW: No photo of the poison ivy but here is my most recent bee sting. >>>

EXTRA
LINK...
62286/12/2013 12:43:47 PMARC
Staff
This morning Mary did some hill repeats (running) over at Hickory Hill trying to repeat the workout Coach Wendy gave her day before yesterday (Wendy kicked her ass).

For note keeping Mary talked to her iPhone and here is what Siri heard:

Six intervals on Wendy's hell the first very he had two-minute restaurants the last three had three minute breasts started with a minutes six my best was 52 seconds ended with a minute five

Afterwards Mary could not decide if calling the hill Wendy's Hell was Siri's mistake or the more precise description.

 She might as well have used STRAVA.

 
62246/10/2013 2:04:35 PMSlingShotIt only took seven (7) months, but the Sugar Loaf Guild website is now off and running.

This morning I even skipped my usual five (5) hour web usage logs review and went with Mary to run, walk, and fidget with Coach Wendy (from the Warwick High School staff) for a hurly-burly four mile rugged trek in Hickory Hill Park.

When I got back and started the logs review I found that Kayla (Scarlet's Way) and Randy Brown (Bee Positive) were in a dead heat competition to see who could send the most visitors to the Guild website.

Then, just when I thought it was over, I found somebody local had browsed several of my sites including KeyTap, Endico, Fugett Sound, Sugar Loaf Guild, and even Dr. Art's.

Strong reading in some areas, but very scattered Bing driven browsing overall.

It was obviously a research project for the person—with a probable "How can I take advantage of this?" stance.

Aside from that, I finally tricked Randy Brown into rubbing the lamp three times then suckered him into it, so he has now replaced me as the Genie in the Sugar Loaf bottle.

Let Randy try to convince people that the bottom line is posted and assiduously kept regular business hours with a note on the door if altered.

In any case, the Sugar Loaf Guild website itself can pretty much run itself while I need only respond to direct input and Mary's ongoing project of finding out who's who and what's what in Sugar Loaf these days.

Now that the basics are online, unless somebody has already read and understood the stories there is no need to harass them.

As for me there will be no more running around town feeling like a combination carpet bagger and used car salesman in my own community.

A job well done.

 You forgot to mention one of the saddest moments of your life was when you stopped by Next Generation Hobbies yesterday and found them packing up to leave...right before your planned extended story on how the products in that shop represent the best it can get with regard to moving people toward making thier own stuff.

Next Generation Hobbies was the perfect complement to artisan shops in Sugar Loaf.

It was not in any way an instance of the Sugar Loaf Four Step but merely collateral damage of the hamlet's recent lack of advertising focus.

And, Bob, stop weeping about how wonderful that shop was and how much better than you could have even imagined...after you finally went in.

 
61775/21/2013 7:24:20 AMGTHey SlingShot, being an intelligent and "no BS" guy, can you comment on the linked article concerning crank length?

Kudos to "The Artist".

EXTRA
LINK...
That is not an article.

It is a sales pitch.

 
61755/19/2013 10:58:07 AMCuryousWhat is all this I hear about you running around all day today spouting, "Finally. FINALLY!"?

 Widder finally gets it, or at least one of the its.

She just took another twelve seconds off her mile time (now at 8:23 in the woods) and came across Lynn in the process.

Lynn said, "Jesus. You run like an Indian. I didn't even here you come up on me."

Mary tried to explain to her that it was merely running correctly, and if you can "hear" somebody running they are running incorrectly.

Of course Lynn didn't want to hear that, and although that was revelatory it wasn't the big Eureka moment.

What really sunk in with Mary was how her 12 second gain was easy to see on her timer, but the STRAVA record of the event was totally fucked up.

STRAVA showed her distance (over the exact same marked course) as different from the last time.

STRAVA also gave nonsense calculations with regard to pace average, which was very easy to check with simple math.

I explained (once more) why STRAVA is total bullshit and only good for ignorant half hearted competitor wannabes.

Widder was so impressed that she allowed me to order her very own hand held easy to click stopwatch for her birthday...so she can go all out at a finish line and not have to figure out how to manage a two handed click of a timer, and then rely on bullshit online calculations to make any attempt at precision training a farce.

Finally Widder has caught on to something or two.

We should have her under 8 minutes in no time.

Then the real work begins.

 
61715/17/2013 9:47:06 AMGTWe must be talking Esotericism, which works for me.

 At least the video was short.

 
61705/17/2013 6:47:14 AMGTFair enough. Now if we can come up with an ADHD challenge similar to Monty Python's 100 yard dash for people with no sense of direction.... (see link)

EXTRA
LINK...
Given the fact not one single person other than you, me, and Widder have seen the last half dozen + 2 posts here, I am thinking this website qualifies.

 
61675/16/2013 10:14:35 PMGTI am happy to validate your thought processes and calculations.

Not sure if you also know I am a shade under 5'10" and 165 pounds, a bit more than the experts' estimate of 2 pounds per inch of height for the best climbers.

Even as a marathoner back in the day, I hovered around 150.

Not sure I will ever approach that again, especially as a married man.

Then there is the issue of ADHD which makes it very difficult to concentrate during a stressful solo effort of that duration.

Perhaps having a "rabbit" up ahead of me will help.

It seems to help on group rides. But enough whining. In any event, I will keep you apprised of my progress.

 On 09/10/2011 at the married age of 61 my morning body weight was 144.8.

And that was at a shade under 5'11", so if you are good I might get back down there and act as your Kain Rabbit Sherpa.

Of course to make that happen I shall be on the Straub Swatter, and you shall not.

All of which assumes you promise not to reveal the true speed with which I can navigate that climb...best to leave the kids with a little hope.

BTW: If you think Widder is a tough competitor on the bicycle, you have no idea of her vast skills relating to ADHD.

I myself cannot even keep track of if we are talking about marathons or Kain Assaults.

Comparatively speaking, you my friend are but a silly little poseur in that regard.

 
61665/16/2013 3:39:41 PMGTWell, let me say that I have never veered off into a driveway while making a real, purposeful effort on Kain.

I have done that when I make more of a half-hearted attempt, because I find myself more or less in the vicinity of the starting point.

The other day was such a day and my heart rate monitor was giving me some screwy numbers and kept beeping that my heart rate was too high.

When I pull in to such places, I always have the clock running, so get no time benefit of doing so.

I haven't done real steep hills in awhile and wanted to see what kind of work I might need for a serious effort.

I am currently using a 34/50 Dura-Ace compact crank and an Ultegra 12-28 cassette, created by melding an Ultegra 11-28 with an 12-25, so I could keep the 16-tooth cog, an important one for me to use during fast finishes on the flats.

I do have an Ultegra 12-30 which I used at High Point with my Giant TCR racing bike, but, unfortunately, that bike has a 39/53 standard double crank.

 Ahah, I knew it!

Thanks for confirming my uncanny ability to take a quick glance at data and divine the truth.

I knew something was fucked up, and now I know what.

Test run, half hearted attempt, and dealing with HRM anomalies.

I absolutely knew you should be in the sub 6:54.97 range.

I also knew you would not be so foolish as to think pulling off might actually "help" you, but there are those out there who might be exactly that foolish...seems like the more you beat them, the dumber they get.

Otherwise, looks like your gearing is not a problem while anything you might do at this point would just be a minimal tweak.

In any case, thanks again for proving that I am paying attention despite your whining about the difficulty of the climb.

Somewhere around the 5:11.66 mark, I will talk you through the next step.

In the meantime, carry on and be sure to report your progress.

 
61655/16/2013 7:12:45 AMGTSlingShot/Widder,

Thank you for the water bottle (I love the red and black top) and T-shirt.

I am only sorry I was not here to greet the deliverer in person.

Hopefully, the third time's the charm.

With respect to the Straub Swatter, I look forward to discussing gearing (not Göring) with you (although given your recent umlaut tirade, the latter may also be apropos).

I am always searching for the perfect chainring/cog setup.

 Sorry for the double delivery...Mary checked her records this morning and realized you already had the kit (pre Guild card, so the upgrade was not without merit).

The red and black top were supposed to be on the first run, but they were back-ordered, and we couldn't wait.

In any case, I don't know nothin' bout no umlauts, but don't get me started.

As for gearing, I have myself numerous times (awhile back) made the trip up Kain with the worst possible gearing at 196 lbs body weight plus a severly dysfunctional left hip (etc), but I never needed (or one might say allowed myself) to veer into driveways.

Given that you are without a doubt a rider who is superior to me in every way (though not as cute), I judge there is something fucked up in your approach.

Not to mention, I know for certain you are a stronger rider than several atop you on the leader board, so once again something is amiss.

In any case, have you had a functional movement screen, and what gears are you running?

 
61635/15/2013 8:26:01 AMCuryousAnd human psychology? That too. 
61625/15/2013 6:20:34 AMGTI am humbled by your confidence/prediction.

 Not so much confidence/prediction as knowledge of physics/biomechanics.

 
61615/15/2013 1:39:42 AMARC
Staff
SlingShot, aren't you forgetting something?

 Oops.

Tsoucalas, your Plećbo T-shirt and water bottle will be in the mail or on your doorstep...whichever is easier for Widder.

 
61605/14/2013 11:03:20 PMGTHey, SlingShot:

Had the pleasure of seeing Widder drive by on Upper Wisner while I was time-trialing the other day.

She stopped and we had a pleasant chat.

She said she was injured, and I explained a feeble attempt at Kain that saw me turning back less than 100 feet into the ascent.

Inspired by our chat, I tried again today and did a bit better at 8:17.

Now if I can just recoup those 45 seconds I lost pulling into two driveways along the way, (clock continuing to run), maybe I can get down to the mid 7's and make Widder proud.

It's such a daunting physical and mental challenge that I am never sure I will make it until I see the finish pole.

Anyway, I soon will be attempting the climb again, so stay tuned.

I think this classic Dylan tune captures the essence of Widder, so I am sending it her way in the included link.

Do not take the "antique" lyric personally, although we are getting to be of age.

EXTRA
LINK...
I did not even need to click the link to know exactly what song it would be, just thought: "Right. Elle m'appartient (C'est une artiste), no doubt."

I was not even slowed down on the way to that thought by the odd confluence of the concepts Widder and "pleasant" in the same anecdote.

As for her injury it is my own fault for having been too strident in bringing her Goosepond miles under 8 minutes.

By your description of your attempt (if I am to believe it), I do sense a rather severe error in your climbing strategy as well as your equipment choices.

Having never myself had to veer into driveways, I cannot speak to the amount of time that was stolen from your assault in any exact measure, nor have I ever wondered at the bottom whether the top would be bested: once begun there is no stopping, no failures, no ziggings, no zaggings, no question.

Though I will attest that by the three quarters mark my arms always feel significantly closer to the point of failure than do my legs.

Be that as it may, if you are anywhere near the correct size, I might loan you the Straub Swatter for your next attempt and coach your process.

I would judge a little tweaking will hand you a one minute improvement along with a notch higher on the one true actual leader board (where I have already recorded your most recent attempt).

I have reviewed the board and (given I know the people on it, and I know you) I believe your goal should actually be: 6 min 54.96 sec as not unreasonable.

However, I would not be so quick to conclude your improvement will make the Widder proud.

If you ever do move into territory where she could not have you on the morrow (should she so choose), it will just piss her off and hell's to pay.

 
61555/7/2013 6:01:36 PMTurtle
Boy
I saw you pulling Joe Straub today.

You guys must have been doing over 30 mph.

Pretty impressive.

 You got the speed right, alright, just over 32.

Would have been more impressive if I wasn't driving my car and Joe sucking my exhaust pipe.

 
61545/6/2013 12:32:48 PM While getting some dental work done Bob and Mary dropped off more Guild swag at:

 Best of the best, that Dr. Gulak.

 
61535/5/2013 11:33:50 AM At last Bob Fugett ties the Sugar Loaf Guild history all together with a final story, and it is quite a journey.

Grab your tickets and hop on board for:

 It's about time: people were getting anxious.

 
61515/3/2013 6:52:59 AMGTWell, I have to go into the City today, but mid-week next is a strong possibility.

Perhaps the Widder will join me.

As for the typing of accents on the computer, I have found Madame's 8th Grade French Page and share the link here for all your readers.

EXTRA
LINK...
Excellent.

But I do notice a cascading typo in your posting.

The word "readers" should more correctly read "reader" which of course would require a syntax change from "for all your readers" to merely "for your reader" which might be more precisely stated as "for Greg Tsoucalas" or even simplfied to "for myself."

So if you will allow my attempt at editing, maybe you wanted to say:

"As for the typing of accents on the computer, I have found Madame's 8th Grade French Page and am putting a note here for myself."

On second thought that wouldn't be totally correct, because I am certainly glad the link is here, so it is really for the both of us, well anyway...

So while I'm at it, I may as well work on the construction with regard to getting Widder to join you:

"Yo, Widder! Greg Tsoucalas is going to kick your ass, so if you could just bring it on over here, please."

Yeah, that pretty much covers it.

 
61505/2/2013 11:37:58 PMGTOkay, I will let you know after I take a test run first.

I have a Garmin, but just wanted to somehow transfer my time from the real Kain leaderboard to Strava, so I wouldn't have to face that monster again.

I note that I am still listed in 10th place on the leaderboard, but Widder's sub-8:00 clocking, which is not yet posted, knocks me out of that elite top-ten group.

Guess I will no longer be able to consider myself a 10 on past laurels.

Damn!

 You may not have noticed it yet, but that STRAVA stuff is based on GPS which experience has shown is highly dependent on just what moment the unit decides is the time to check with the mother ship.

Therefore, all those devices are routinely 1 to 2 tenths of a mile wrong either one way or another all the time.

For our runs in Goosepond we hand measured the intervals just for that reason.

Also for that very reason, Widder's STRAVA record will never make it to the real boards until she proves it to me with my own stop watch.

No good answer for the Garmin problem, because your government is never going to allow you to own an accurate GPS...get all the fucking assault rifles you want, no way are you going to know your true location on the earth.

Therefore, your top 10 on the actual record sheet is safe for the time being.

As an aside, I do not believe in test runs.

Why would you want to go up that fucking cliff without receiving a free Plećbo water bottle and T shirt...they are going for $57.43 and $84.00 dollars respectively on eBay...but you need an accent aigu to find them...which you have shown to be lacking.

In any case, life is not a fucking rehearsal dude...go kick Widder's ass today.

 
61495/2/2013 8:16:07 PMGTAh Ha! I thought so!

Now if I can just figure out how to add a pre-garmin ride to STRAVA, I will be all set as 65+ KOM.

I hate to think that I'll have to do it again, although Widder's new standard does beckon.

BTW: I see you still can't follow directions.

I specifically told you to put an umlaut over the "o".

Your excessiveness has turned a potentially cogent response into a subliminal ad for Candy Dots!

EXTRA
LINK...
Pre-garmin?

No problem, do what Widder did.

Stick your iPhone in your sweaty jersey, and up ya go.

A little awkward juggling at the bottom then zoom.

No iPhone?

If you think you can beat Widder's time, I will make her loan you hers.

We'll even come over, set it up for you, stick it in your jersey, and time you at the same time (so we can get it on the real Leader Board).

Plus you will win a brand new Plećbo water bottle and T just for trying.

As for umlauts, I tells ya, I wouldn't know an umlaut from a bike lout.

 
61485/2/2013 1:49:01 PMGTWell, it's been way too long since I've posted here, but current events demand it.

As a paying member of STRAVA, I can monitor age group performances and decided to look up the 65+ leaders on the Kain Rd climb.

When I took a gander at that leader board, my immediate response was "Ist das moglich!?" (insert umlaut over the "o")

How could Widder be leading this category?

No way can "She Who Must Be Obeyed" be a day over 55!

It's been a bad week in my quest for Kain immortality.

First, USA Cycing ruled that reading at a third-grade level was not sufficient justification to place me in the 10 and under category, and Widder's performance all but closes the door on transgendering (yeah, I'm using it as a verb here).

What to do! What to do!

Demanding proof of age from Widder seems petty, especially as I still consider her my guardian angel.

Maybe you, SlingShot, can convince her that Gold is passé, and Silver is the new Gold.

I would like to think I can help, but I'm not sure.

Could it be time to take those Williams climbing wheels with the new Ultegra 12-30 cassette off shelf?

 Hï, Fücktärd, thänks for cätchïng thë clërïcäl ërror.

Wïddër ïs ïn fäct 59, büt shë püt ïn hër yëär of bïrth äs 1864 jüst to sëë.

Äs äll thïngs STRAVA, thëïr cälcülätïons lëft ä bït to bë dësïrëd.

Ï jüst wrëstlëd Wïddër to thë groünd änd mädë hër chängë hër profïlë for yoü, so thät ïs äll täkën cärë of.

On thë othër händ, älthoügh Ï do try to stäy üp wïth thë lätëst ïntërnëts lïngo, Ï rëälly hävë no ïdëä whät ä fückïng ümläüt mïght bë, nor whërë onë mïght gët onë, nor why änyonë woüld wänt to ïnsërt ït ovër, ündër, bësïdë or into änythïng.

Fürthërmorë, whïlë Ï do ündërständ whät LOL, BTW, änd ä fëw of yoür othër nëw nët words mëän, thërë ïs no fücking wäy ïn hëll thät Ï hävë the slïghtest clüë äboüt "Ist das moglich!?" thoügh I äm sürë yoü woüld not thïnk ït possïblë.

 
61354/23/2013 11:33:34 AMBurd
Wadger
A little birdie reported that Banner Boy was overheard in The Barnsider Restaurant wringing somebody's ear off about how bad things have been in Sugar Loaf.

Therefore Bob Fugett went out of his way to track down specifics and got the story first hand from an insider at the Barnsider.

Turns out the person who was having their ear wrung into a cauliflower was really just "Yes-ing" Banner Boy, because their own experience (as a Barnsider insider) was that business has been just fine there…actually a little too busy for their own particular tastes.

This pretty much constitutes the final confirmation of the results of the recent Sugar Loaf Guild advertising campaign with local street survey and online investigation into the recent spate of negative comments about the health of businesses inside the hamlet.

In summary the Committee observes that the reports of Sugar Loaf's demise have been greatly overstated while actual online activity is far below what one would guess based on search engine aggregation of obsolete social media content.

Those in town who are running actual businesses are still pretty much strangers to online activity while all the recent banners going up are truly just another example of Signs of Desperation with a couple rounds of the Sugar Loaf Four Step.

 Too bad about the lack of online activity.

Despite this time around the Sugar Loaf Guild having received an extremely positive response from everybody contacted, it looks like I will still have to wait another 15 years before people fully understand the significance of my Internet skills and what these technologies can do.

No problem with that: I've got bicycles to ride.

 
61314/20/2013 12:00:00 AMClaire
Voguis
I have the fitting punishment for that Boston Marathon bomber guy.

Put him near the top of Ridgebury and let everybody coming up kick his ass!

 Hey, settle down: maybe somebody threatened his family.

No need to treat him like he's Humberto.

Speaking of Humberto, today is his birthday.

Mary prepared a special present. >>>

EXTRA
LINK...
61254/15/2013 1:55:13 AMZackHi Bob,

Hah! I took a closer look through the site and got a feel of the, er, ethos of it all.

Pretty amusing, at least in parts... [I don't use emoticons but if I did I would place one here]

And yes, you were close to right: my friend found your site and sent me a link.

So just a coincidence about the name on the frame, it seems a little too old for your Humberto.

I might write him anyway.

Thanks again,
Zack

 I'm sure Humberto will be glad to hear from you, but before writing him you should probably take care of the unfinished business with regard to shooting whomever it was that sent you here.

That person didn't do much work for you anyway, because Googling "Humberto" and "bicycle" puts us number 4 on page 1.

Of course, when you get around to writing Humberto, make sure you tell him that it was me who sent you, and that I mentioned how much he likes very expensive bicycles, and how your fresh barn-find vintage Humberto would make the perfect companion piece to place beside his three dozen or so other custom fit fancy boutique racing bikes.

Tell him anybody who showed up at the Hump and kicked ass with it would be placed among the immortals...doping or not.

Also let him know that if he doesn't buy the bike himself (taking it off the market) Glenn Babikian has made a sizeable offer in order to smack Mr. Cavalheiro sensless with a bike bearing his own name.

Say something about Ridgebury and he will assume you know what you are talking about.

Tell him if it makes it any better for him, you will quadruple the price on the frame to bring it in line with the standard markup he is accustomed to getting from his neighbor, Garage Boy, who sells bicycles at prices which in any other field would invoke RICO statutes.

Mentioning that the bike is probably too old to be his childhood bicycle will seal the deal.

BTW: I imagine the ARC About, Dedication, and FAQ pages have about as much to do with the rest of the website as any of the other pages on it, so you looked in more or less the right place this time around.

 
61244/15/2013 1:27:55 AMZackHi Bob,

Thanks for the quick response.

The bike came from a junk dealing buddy of mine here in southern Maine.

I don't know where he picked it up, but I can ask.

I'm not too sure about your message though, i.e., was this a bike that Humberto rode or raced?

It looks to me like a French bike from the early '80s, but I don't recognize the brand.

And why would his not owning it make it retain its value?

Sorry for all the questions and thank you for sending me Humberto's address.

Best,
Zack

 Hi Zack,

Sorry for the confusion and ham handed joke.

The bicycle has no connection to our friend Humberto whatsoever.

The joke was meant to be that any connection to Humberto would make any object worth significantly less than nothing due to how much everybody hates Humberto for kicking their asses on any given ride.

I assume that tommorrow's usage logs will reveal you arrived at the American Road Cycling website by way of a Google search for "Humberto" and "bicycle" (which is logical given the circumstances), and you clicked directly to the query form, so you missed the degree of trash talk the site embodies.

My bad.

In any case, I posted your photos at:

The people who read the ARC Chatterbox will probably just think I made up the whole thing and grabbed some bicycle photos off the Internet.

A couple of years ago Humberto's wife told us she heard a lot of commotion in her basement one 2 A.M., and on going down to check she found Humberto reading American Road Cycling and laughing.

Otherwise, any attempt to make sense out of the site is largely met with impossibility.

The visitor hit counter running backwards on the home page only hints at the level of nonsense found there while the Cycling Performance Simplified power meter information provides a stark contrast and departure back into sanity.

Once again sorry: it is not one of Humberto's old bikes, rides, nor anything related to him.

Bob

 
61234/14/2013 1:25:28 PMRick Sanchez formerly known as ToeClipGuy (noMore)Hope all is well.

Catch you on the roads after I get past the April 15 thing. Sooo out of shape. You will kick my butt!

 This is too, too, too good!

A blast from the past.

I was just using you as an example about how hard editing can be, when somebody writes better than I and mangles the language on purpose to suit a purpose.

Everything here is GREAT: doing The Big Lollipop tomorrow, maybe with Humberto.

Name your place and time.

Maybe we can roust Mary out of her complacency to show up for an extracurricular ride.

Do I sound excited to be hearing from a long gone classic rider?

Maybe it was the phrase, "Sooo out of shape..."

Makes me think I can stay in a ride or something.

You name it: I'm in it.

BTW: Once a Toe Clip Guy, always a Toe Clip Guy.

 
61224/13/2013 8:19:12 PMCuryousWhy'd that guy think it was Humberto's bike.

 Probably because of how slow it is.

 
61214/13/2013 5:48:48 PMARC
Staff
Humberto confirms that is not his bicycle, but he did win the Hump today.

 Good news for Zack it wasn't Humberto's bike.

That way a nice vintage bicycle retains its value.

 
61204/13/2013 11:46:03 AMZackHi,

I recently got an old frame which seems like it may have belonged to Humberto.

Is there a way to verify this?

Can I send pix to someplace?

Thanks much,
Zack

 Well that's weird.

 
61194/13/2013 11:28:17 AMARC
Staff
Hump Report

Twin George felt sick, took the shortcut home.

That's all we got.

 Makes me sick just thinking about it.

 
61174/8/2013 7:06:21 PMTurtle
Boy
Mary's making a comeback?

 If you consider starting faster than ever and improving from there a comeback, then yes, Widder is making a comeback.

 
61164/8/2013 6:29:40 PMCuryousWidder been cycling?

 She did the orchard loop from Chester train station today and decided it's probably best to not mention her speed—and thus avoid making some people who think they are very fast very depresssed.

She said that as soon as Humberto is consistently finishing first on the Hump, she will show up for a ride at his house and let him see what nobody else would be able to handle.

It has happened before.

EXTRA
LINK...
61144/6/2013 2:21:48 PMBob
HUMP REPORT
opening day

Berto's back!

Turtle Boy to a hard fought 2nd place finish after Pretty Boy broke at the end with only the Portuguese flag following.


Babikian - #1

 Wow.

Currently Humberto is a big fat butterball—way the fuck out of shape.

And he would have been 1st if not for that scoundrel Glenn Babikian.

Berto's back indeed.


Cavalheiro - #2

 
61134/6/2013 12:19:45 PMARC
Staff
EXTRA
LINK...
EXTRA
LINK...
61104/4/2013 6:40:07 PMARC
Staff
GOOD NEWS

Although slightly miffed at SlingShot for doing so, the Widder did appreciate the fact that he went out of his way to make sure her first ride for the year (except for Kain) today on Heritage Trail was 17.8, actually 18.6 until trail traffic.

 
BAD NEWS

Somebody very much appearing to be Crazy Mike totally decimated both their fucking asses all the way up the climb to Monroe.

 
61094/4/2013 1:50:51 PMSlingShotSun's out: I'm out.

EXTRA
LINK...
Them days.

 
61084/4/2013 9:33:05 AMBill RoudebushIs the book available in print form? Would like to have so to make notes while reading.

 Hi Bill : )

Currently the book is not in print, but your question has given me the solid reason for moving it to print.

I have held off bringing it to hard copy due to how important the interactive Power to Weight and Race Category calculator has proven for people, and the calculator would not be available in book form...even an e-book.

Also I wanted to take one final pass at confirming Watts to Speed over a long course while establishing a procedure for calculating the minimal extra watts required to return to pace after a slow down for turn or stop.

You have touched on the third hold up which is that I have never seen any strong advantage to print over the online version.

However, being able to keep closely associated notes is certainly a big advantage.

While waiting for the print version, feel free to print out any pages you wish for note taking.

 
61074/1/2013 10:21:01 PMWundringWhat did they expect?

 Not that.

 
61064/1/2013 9:40:15 PMMeghanThought I would share a fellow biker's need for help. Can you please share with your community? Thank you.

http://███

 No.

I have no community, and neither does anybody else here.

This is the Internet.

 
61053/31/2013 10:01:10 AMARC
Staff
Hump Report (Yesterday)

Catskills John went down and broke his wrist (dominant hand) when somebody failed to call a rock.

 Reminds me of the time on Pulaski just past Big Island intersection during the Wednesday Night Time Trial group cool down when I caught a glimpse in my peripheral vision of a large rock on the side of the road.

I barely had time to think, "Man, I hope people are paying attention," sputtering, "Ro...!" as I heard clattering bikes going down behind me.

Widder had hit the rock and landed in the middle of the lane facing backwards just in time to see Charlie Brown ride over her bike and go down also...sliding to half way over the yellow line.

Good thing cars had just passed and were not about to.

 
61043/30/2013 11:46:24 PMbad girlDamn! I should have known.

 Not to step on a punchline?

 
61023/30/2013 8:31:13 PMlight seerI hope this will please the editorial staff.

I have read the informative messages that have been shared on this forum as well as the ideas shared on the Sugar Loaf Guild site.

I am seeing the light.

Hard work and a good product are the keys to success in this hamlet.

Playing on facebook does not create income.

My personal absense from this forum has been due to these facts.

I have been spending more time at my workbench.

 To the wise grasshop an absence of error does one final spellcheck often provide.

 
61013/30/2013 12:33:54 PMTurtle
Boy
Look what I found in Florida last night.

EXTRA
LINK...
Hope you didn't spend a lot of money on it, because it appears like you will be going just exactly the same speed as you did on your other bike all last year.

As for my own self, yesterday I posted a quick check 672 watts with absolutely no knee pain.

Last year it took me almost four months to get to the same level.

On the other hand, this morning I am aware that lots of subtle stuff fell apart yesterday, but I know exactly what, when, and where, so I plan to take it easy today.

First ride out last year I posted what I thought was an easy 180 watt loop (nominal 20 mph), but three days later I could barely manage 120 watts.

Good thing I had an objective no-bullshit reference.

Speeds that week were not that much different due to trail traffic hold-ups, so I wouldn't have noticed the problem until it was too late.

In any case, it didn't make any sense, so I immediately tooled back and started a full body inspection.

It led me to the 3D4Medical apps which are the only good reason to buy Apple hardware.

This year I have a handle on each ache and pain, where it comes from, why it's there.

I now understand my chronic knee pain which put me out of competition in college (43 years ago) was really only symptomatic of a constellation of problems arising from a dysfunctional left hip in concert with a severely over pronated right ankle, and I have been progressively erasing the problems through carefully moderated therapeutic exercises focused on specific avoidance of overworking small supporting muscles while gradually increasing range of motion and balanced strength overall.

In summary: It all makes perfect sense now, and I'm not overdoing it.

Unfortunately, today the sun is out, and if the sun's out, I'm out.

So wish me luck, Humberto, and hurry home so I can kick your ass on your new bike...shouldn't be any harder than it has been.

BTW: Here's a not so old photo of you to help keep you on track getting rid of that big-ass Portuguese belly. >>>

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61003/30/2013 9:47:37 AMBobThanks again, Connie, for clicking onto Endico and helping me fine tune our process.

 In your continued posture as hors categorie, sui generis, you of course took a look at the Directory but quickly settled on the Missing in Action page.

That link is at the bottom of the Directory page and few people ever see it.

The unknown locations page only shows 143 paintings, but at least you got another quick overview of the range of Mary's work.

You clicked over to the detail views of 130, 759, 1621, and 2262 but missed seeing 1563 which is the one you helped prompt us to move over.

The other pages linked from the Sold Directory include several thousand paintings, so to make sure we are on the same page regarding the number of paintings that Mary has sold right from her desk where she painted them in Sugar Loaf (no outside shows, galleries, or events), here is a link to a page holding 562 paintings (sold) similar to the ones you clicked:

Maybe this seems to be a slight diversion from our current course, but it is one that will prove useful.

You probably want to go take a break while that page loads, and once again, "Thanks for looking!"

 
60993/30/2013 12:28:44 AMAvatarTricky little avatar gets around!

 She's a work in progress.

 
60983/29/2013 11:46:58 PMTurtle
Boy
Don't you ever get on your bicycle anymore?

 Twenty (20) miles on the cold windy-ass Heritage Trail this afternoon, shorts not tights.

Nobody passed me from behind.

Unlikely anybody could.

 
60973/29/2013 11:30:08 PMddoTWhy do you assume that was a Fan?

 Didn't say that I did.

 
60963/29/2013 10:20:10 PMFanThank you for the interesting reporting over there on the Sugar Loaf Guild forum.

 Hmm...not the IP# that I expected.

Very clever to post over here out of the way.

Leaves the report at the top for others to find.

The only activity over there today (other than the Gang of Four and a bajillion bots) was an IP# associated with Luft Gardens.

This time they got to the website via a Google search for:

http://www.sugarloafguild.com

It was couched in escape characters, so I believe that means they put a partial in the Google Search field instead of a direct connect through their browser's URL field.

They hit the Home page for 38s, clicked the Next link (bottom) to the About page for 23s, clicked the left side menu to the Walking Map for 21s, finally clicked the numeric listing to the Historic Photos page which specifically #hashtagged them to Luft Gardens.

Not a big reader, or they already saw those pages before and only wanted to check the status of their listing and map link.

Whether or not they realized they could have clicked the Luft Gardens building on the map to get to the same place, I have no idea.

Also whatever they may have clicked on the photos page to go off-site (if anything), I have no idea.

 
60953/29/2013 10:46:18 AMBobThank you, Connie.

I saw your click onto the Cities page.

 Now that you have seen the list of CITIES, take a look at this:

That is a directory of paintings which have been sold to people in the CITIES you saw previously.

The Sold directory works just like the directory you saw prior to our photo shoot in Andy's workshop, but this time they are all Sold paintings, not Available paintings.

When you previously looked at the Available paintings (before the photo shoot) you clicked all the way through to the detail view of a Mini Mountain (#1563), and Mary found that the painting you viewed was missing from stock, so thanks for helping us find that out and remove it from the Available Listing.

Which reminds me: another difference to the Sold pages is that clicking on a painting will open up a colletor's full collection if they have more than one Endico, so another click might be needed to get to the detail page.

I have one more step coming up (in this grand experiment), so it might be helpful to do a review of the CITIES page to reinforce just how many paintings were: sold by Mary, right from her work desk in Sugar Loaf, to people who came into her studio in-person.

Like I said, it is unlikely two other people in Sugar Loaf are aware of this, certainly none of the new people.

As they say elsewhere, "Thank you for looking!"

 
60943/29/2013 12:20:17 AMAvatarMy link didn't paste.

 Do you mean that you couldn't paste at your end, or that it appeared to paste but did not show up after posting?

Did you copy (for paste) from your web browser URL field, or did you try pasting hyperlink enabled text such as was the CITIES link shown below?

Did you receive an error message, giant fucked up screen, or anything like that?

Might be a house call moment...but it really will be a simple fix.

EXTRA
LINK...
60933/29/2013 12:19:06 AMAvatarMore Bitstrips

 Oops.

 
60923/28/2013 1:13:58 PMAvatarI made that drawing by using an app called Bitstrips.

I picked from many choices to create an avatar that resembled me the most.

I am also an appist. Ha ha.

 Superb! Though fully original would be even better.

If Mary had known that was your own work, she would have shown me immediately.

Still that effort is another indication of your status as hors categorie, sui generis.

Logs show you still have not seen this:

Please scroll down that list slowly, keeping in mind those are cities where Mary's paintings have gone (many of those cities are home to significantly more than one painting), and Mary has sold those paintings herself right off her studio work table and right here in Sugar Loaf.

No galleries, no shows, no events, no bullshit.

People don't know this.

Scroll down slowly: then you will be among the few in Sugar Loaf who do know this.

 
60903/28/2013 11:19:33 AMSlingShotYo Co !

Mary had deemed the image "just more fb nonsense" so didn't bother me with it.

This morning she sent me this. >>>

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Is that your own drawing or something you grabbed off the Internet?

 
60893/28/2013 12:52:03 AMHousecall!!

 I assume you are referring to the HTML.

Don't worry about it, just be aware you have to use old-timey typewriter conventions when writing in the Chatterbox.

And make extra sure that you know how to backup your work.

In the old days I always told people that I had Three Rules of Computing:

1) save and backup often
2) backup and save often
3) review rules 1 and 2 often

I had that in big letters on a piece of paper with the Primary Law of Computing on the reverse side:

Due to the fact that your investment in platform setup, development, and content creation will always amount to significantly more than your investment in computer hardware, review the Three (3) Rules of Computing often.

BTW: I toggled the HTML tutorial off, because there are people posting here who would use it to do harm.

 
60883/28/2013 12:44:55 AMGrasshopperI want to tell you a story.

I know you don't have to do anything,but you don't have to edit this.

You saved me from an embarassing gaffe.

Here is the story.

A childhood friend posted on fb that her Mom had passed away. In the post, my friend lovingly told her friends,"Mom is flying with the angels."

I started typing a post in reply. I wanted to let my friend know that I felt bad for her. I also wanted to let her know that I remembered the good food that her Mom would make for us.

I typed: Sorry to hear about your Mom. I'm sure she is flying with the angels. If they are lucky,she will make them spaetzle.

OMG! I almost told my friend that her Mother was flying around Heaven turning angels into a traditional German noodle dish!

I backspaced like heck and rewrote that line.

If they are lucky,your Mom will make spaetzle for them.

You Dear Editor are helping me to see the write.

P.S. I heard my friend laughed outloud at work when she read my post.

Facebook isn't all bad.

 Obviously fb is not all bad: you are on it.

But as I have said before, you are hors categorie, and sui generis.

Widder is ready to shut her own fb account down, has had it up to there.

In any case, I believe your first construction with the spaetzle would have been understood, but if you ever happened to mention angels to me, I would kick your fucking ass, correct grammar or not.

Also, hope you noticed that the person was on fb instead of doing their work.

As for you: watch your spaces after commas.

Four (4) such errors in your story.

 
60863/28/2013 12:17:39 AMFormer Nom ConformistDid anyone show you a certain charicature?

The Appist was hoping to amuse the Editorial Staff of this forum.

 Not yet, she's asleep, will read this in the morning, and show me then, if I catch your drift.

 
60843/28/2013 12:10:41 AMNom CompoopWhat does that upsidedown music note looking symbol mean?

I don't even know how to Google it.

 That is a paragraph marker.

Even if you copy/pasted it to Google, you would not get a result, once again due to security issues.

Here's a link. >>>

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60833/28/2013 12:06:49 AMNom CompoopI even used the italics feature.

It did not transfer to Chatterbox.

 Correct.

Chatterbox is plain text only.

You would have to use HTML tags to make it happen, and in order to do that I would have to allow input of possibly malicious code.

It is a security issue here, but FB will probably accept it.

 
60823/28/2013 12:03:58 AMNom CompoopOhhhhh!

I did separate the text.

I did copy and paste.

It was perfect.

I even used the review tools.

I will try harder.

 

 
60813/27/2013 11:09:57 PMComHello Editor,
I have been learning to use Word.

 Hello Editor,

I have been learning to use Word.

 

Changed: (1-0)

1) Editor, (line break) > Editor, ¶

Holy motherfucking shit, this is the most exciting moment of my life!

I was just thinking the next step would be to ask you if you had started with Word (or something like it), then send Widder over to get you going.

But here you are, all set the fuck up.

Stephen Colbert just started with an abstruse reference to Charlotte's Web, and after I checked Wikipedia to confirm what I thought was said, was what was actually said, I checked my web submittals, and here you were.

Screw watching Colbert, I'll write the following for you.

Have you learned how to save your work and make a backup off your computer?

BTW: If you are using copy/paste from Word to Chatterbox, use two line breaks to make a correct paragraph (¶) here.

BTTW: Don't use bad words like I do.

Everybody already hates me so it doesn't matter, but for you there might be consequences.

 
60803/27/2013 2:08:02 PMTurtle
Boy
Yo, Nom Nuts!

I got your back-space right here swingin'.

 Like I said, Humberto: shut up.

Endico Security Cam this very moment (you should hear all the yacking, plans are being made and measurements taken) >>>

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60793/27/2013 1:20:35 PMNom NutsI can back-space and chew gum at the same time.

 I can back-space and chew gum at the same time.

 

Changed: (0-0)

Super! Back on track.

In local news: Other than the Gang of Four, there was only one (1) other person on the Guild website yesterday, and they only looked at the Historic Photos page.

So that means your readership over here on ARC was no less intense—nobody was on this page either.

I will put together a Guild status report soon.

I am soooo excited.

This is working out beyond my wildest dreams.

I believe the health of Sugar Loaf is far better than anybody could have imagined.

Somebody just had to take a look at it and notice it is certainly not happening online.

Keep running your FB postings exactly the way you always have (focused on your actual students and people you know), and incorporate the stuff you learn over here as it becomes easy.

BTW: I do believe you have just successfully Nom'd yourself, and that is a very rare occurrence.

 
60773/27/2013 8:53:03 AMBook
Editing
Staff
It appears a rather large assumption has been made.

Somebody better ask her.

 Ok, I will.

Connie, do you know how to place your cursor somewhere and backspace erase or insert a character?

Such as this period

   here .

gets moved

   here.

And this

   twowords

gets split into

   two words.

Can you do stuff like that (before posting of course)?

 
60763/27/2013 1:27:59 AMSlingShotIt was early fall my junior year of college.

I was sitting in an upper level Shakespearean Literature Class with six other third year English Majors.

We had all weathered the grueling freshman and sophomore classes to reach this level of study, a privilege to be reading actual literature in such a small class.

Resting on her elbows while shrinking almost shyly behind her glasses Dr. Rose stared down at our first tests.

She glanced at us gathered around the square of four short conference tables and began passing out the Blue Books saying: "The best of these tests was a B minus. Not one of you people has the appropriate level of grammar and punctuation skills. The next two weeks are going to be brutal, but each one of you will learn how to write correctly or be gone."

A year and a half later (end of my senior year), I was shocked when Dr. Rose cried as I told her that I had decided school was not for me, and I was leaving.

 Changed: (0-0)

But you still don't write well.

 
60753/26/2013 11:26:20 PMNomI have to say, that I love this new addition to my life .I am referring to this forum.

Many years ago I attended what is now known as Suny Orange. I took pre- college courses for one semester. After I completed these classes I took freshman classes. I let them slide .


At the time I was more worried about looking a certain way. I was completely fucked up in my view of my self-worth.

So I left school to become a stained glass artist in Sugar Loaf.

 I have to say that I love this new addition to my life.

I am of course referring to this forum.

Many years ago I attended what is now known as Suny Orange. I took pre-college courses for one semester.

After I completed those classes I took freshman classes.

I let them slide.

At the time I was more worried about looking a certain way. I was completely fucked up in my view of my self-worth.

So I left school to become a stained glass artist in Sugar Loaf.

 

Changed: (10-0)

1) life .I > life. I
2) life. I > life. ¶ I
3) I am referring > I am of course
4) Orange. I > Orange, and I
5) pre- college > pre-college
6) completed these > completed those
7) classes. I > classes. ¶ I
8) slide . > slide.
9) way. I > way. ¶ I
10) say, that > say that

Observations:

1) How'd that work out for her?
2) Connie really has to lay off the beers.
3) ...and get back into classes.

 
60743/26/2013 6:31:04 PMCoeThe only Joe I know is in my paper cup.

 Changed: (0-0)

 
60733/26/2013 4:19:00 PMclaymateOh! Me so sorry.

Me write here long time.

 Oh! Me so sorry.

Me write here long time.

 

 

Changed: (0-0)

Yippie, you found your way—and from Boswells where I was afraid you had no favorite link thus would never figure out Googling "American Road Cycling" will get you here no problem.

The story so far is that nobody is reading that other website, unless you have solid information to the contrary from people other than your FB likie loos who will just lie to you about it.

Reminds me I spent the day explaining to Widder how Brat's ascension in the Like department is probably just bots.

Bots can click a Like good as anybody else.

Also, let's say I knew your IP# (67.82.197.143 from Boswells).

Then I could easily fine tune your experience here by reflecting back to you anything that I figured you would like.

I could post a page of "Most Loved" viewers and automatically put you at the top of the list every time you connected.

If I had everybody's IP#'s, each one of them could be presented with an experience fine tuned just to stroke their own particular ego.

If I made you sign-up and sign-in I wouldn't even need your IP#.

People are idiots.

So if you do not have specific information to the contrary, you can take it from me, nobody is on that other website (nor are they likely to ever be), and you have far more readers here.

Your total number of readers here on American Road Cycling yesterday was one (1) (not counting Clay's son, Brad Kibler, who followed the links I posted for you, plus me and Widder of course), and that is a number (1) which is rather large for the Internet despite the fact it is routinely considered nothing.

In summary, you are doing much better over here on American Road Cycling, and just so long as you don't start calling me Joe, I'll let you stay.

 
60723/26/2013 1:41:06 PMTruth SlayerI heard that Ms. Doesn't Stop Traffic Anymore is down on Wood Road.

I believe she pretends to make pottery while playing on facebook.

 I heard that Ms. Doesn't Stop Traffic Anymore is down on Wood Road.

I believe she pretends to make pottery while playing on facebook.

 

 

 

Houston, we have a problem.

Changed: (0-0)

Technically correct, except maybe this would be easier to grasp:

I heard that Ms. Doesn't-Stop-Traffic-Anymore is down on Wood Road.

Or the problem could be handled thus:

I heard that Ms. Doesn't Stop Traffic Anymore is down on Wood Road.

As for the veracity of the statement, I have been advised that she could stop traffic anymore but now knows better—just doesn't know where to post.

 
60703/26/2013 10:35:06 AMLynn
Meyer
SlingShot, are these American Road Cycling girls?

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Obviously foreigners.

If American those would be guys.

Remember how Georgianne wasted all that time trying to be a man only to find out if that's the way they are she might as well stay a woman.

 
60683/26/2013 1:24:02 AMgettin' smarterI love the blade.

Please keep sticking me.

 I love the blade.

Please keep sticking me.

 

Changed: (0-0)

I just learned how to make

( ' )

look like

( ' )

avoiding

(')

In any case, there are better sources than I am for this kind of work.

A formalized course from somebody who has assembled a program would give you a broad overview much more quickly than my spot checking, and you would come away with academic credit that could actually help you do something.

You are an extremely quick study with talent galore.

Make sure you also use your abilities for something more than just yacking to me and your FB weenies.

Most people who read this website are just going to think I made you up anyway.

 
60673/26/2013 12:19:42 AMCRI must have missed that day in English class. '/"?

Re:'t' joke . Why would you put those '''''''s on either side of the 't'?

PS the joke was about the extra 't' in the wrongly spelled word editted.

 I must have missed that day in English class.

What did you mean with regard to the spaces around '/'?

Re: 't' joke

Why would you put a single quote ( ' ) on either side of the 't'?


PS: The joke was about the extra 't' in the wrongly spelled word ‘editted’.

 

 

 

In order to decide if these edits are helpful, put them aside for a few days, then read both versions again as if you were somebody who had never seen it before.

Changed: (8-0)
[eight changes, no reversals]

1) single quote after forward slash
2) removed space after 'joke'
3) made ''''''' more specific
4) colon after PS
5) removed period after 'joke'
6) broke line after 'joke'
7) expanded question about '/'
8) extra white space before PS

I understood the 't' joke but was unsure if the parenthetical "punny" comment was with regard to your own post or referring to the content of this website.

Style guides vary on this, but single quotes are used when speaking specifically of the 't' instead of the idea of "t" and leaving it with no delineation at all is easily read as a typo.

In your post with the '/' (on the other website) you included spaces thus:

punctuation / grammar

I sometimes leave spaces where they should not be (as you did) in order for lines to break less raggedy online, but here is an example of the forward slash used correctly. >>>

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60663/25/2013 8:37:35 PMNellAt least I didn't spell that t on my computer.


(This is punny,or supposed to be.)

 At least I didn't spell that 't' on my computer.


(This is punny, or supposed to be.)

 

 

 

Changed: (3-1)
1) single quotes 't'
2) comma space
3) decided I'm lost
4) read bunch of old posts, decided not lost

 
60653/25/2013 7:13:42 PMCuryousNo comment?

 Oh, right.

Zippity doo dah, Zippity aye,
My oh my what a wonderful...

Just wait till the people over here try to figure out why SlingShot is finally happy about something.

On the other hand, that was pretty hard to edit, since I didn't understand half of it.

 
60643/25/2013 5:19:58 PMPestoI did it !!!!!!!

But first favorites editted my :chatterbox.

Oooo.....that might not get past my editor.

 I did it!!!!!!!

But first, favorites edited—My : chatterbox.

Oooo...that might not get past my editor.

 
60633/25/2013 4:34:27 PMSite SwitcherWhoot whoot!

Hope this site shows up on my favorites.

 Do you know how to Bookmark it in your Browser?

 
60623/25/2013 4:22:50 PMwah wahI won't send my fb "friends" this side o' town.

I don't want my cover blown!

Facebook lets me sloppily bathe in the dumbing down of America.

 Make your next post from:

HERE: ██

 
60613/25/2013 12:09:35 PMhumble
student
Ahhhhhh......

 You, Connie, are one funny dude so are receiving a promotion.

Get a bicycle and helmet, stop smoking and drinking, prepare to kick people's butts, and start posting here: ██.

You can post stuff you would never want to post on the Guild site...even before getting a bicycle (and helmet), and I will treat your postings in exactly the same manner as you have become accustomed.

Just don't send your Facebook ninnies over there, they won't like it and have no business being there.

Anybody who doesn't like salty language, please do not hit that link.

 
60603/25/2013 11:17:18 AMConnie.
Rose.
I added the period after the N and again after the Y as they appear in the logo.

 I must withdraw my blade.

 
60323/22/2013 7:10:32 PMARC
Staff
You wanted to say something?

 Yes.

ddoT, careful who you friend.

A Pauletta by any other name smells just as sour.

 
60283/22/2013 11:16:11 AMARC
Staff
There has been an indication that another attack against a cyclist may have occured recently in Woodbury, NY.

 It's not like I didn't warn people.

 
60223/20/2013 5:30:44 PMFGThe hunter now becomes the hunted...

 You won't find me.

I'm not even here right now.

 
60163/19/2013 7:28:18 PMFGNow you'll spend countless hours trying to figure out how I knew you mentioned my name.

 Oh, yeah...how could FG know I mentioned his name when I only did so to the biggest yackity yack girl on the Internet?

That sure is a mystery to me.

In any case, I did not check yesterday, I checked today, though it was yesterday's website usage logs.

They revealed this: A known (or thought to be) FG IP# hit that offensive fucking website (probably to check office hours because of a cycling boo-boo) and it happened at exactly 13:57:42 West Coast Time (give or take for logs caching) and the attachment was by way of a yellowpages.com search.

Two (2) seconds later a favicon access was credited to that IP# which could have been specifically user initiated or merely one of those low-rent browsers hitting it auto like while a server caching delay caused the separated report.

Precisely 15 seconds later (give or take) the contact page was accessed which is where the office hours are published but which hours may be moved to the home page due to the fact that aside from nobody ever goes on that website, the ones that do go there always hit the contact page in about the exact same amount of time (more or less).

In another perfectly timed minute plus ten seconds the IP# in question hit the home page again, this time from a Google search for the chatty cathy's personal name and town.

The user probably couldn't believe the yellowpages only found a tawdry little website which could never be ascribed as the only page published by the most gossipy name in cycling.

On that attachment the favicon was accessed in 1 second's time thus implying the first favicon was in fact automated and not a user initiated event.

After marveling at the little puppy dog photo (for a minute five this time) the IP# also hit the contact page (probably the boo-boo was escalating and an earlier appointment was hoped for).

All of this occured on the 18th while the IP# associated with your most recent posts has not been on that website this year.

Nice try, but don't blame my tracking software for your own misstep of attaching using an old IP# that you thought was secure and forgotten.

Nor much less should you assume that I would spend hours and hours tracking down information which has no relevance to me one way or another, not to mention: why you believe that I assume you are FG (nor even that the other IP# was FG) just because I have records of such, well that is the true mystery here.

If I had a question about an IP#, I would just send out a missive and see what pops.

Othwerwise, what really bakes my noodle is trying to figure out why the first mentioned IP# recently hit the Sugar Loaf Guild website via a Google search for 'moondancer sugarloaf ny'—which event I had not one single yammering bike apparel princess to report it to.

 
60153/19/2013 7:25:17 PMFGYou're slipping...you may have CHECKED yesterday, but does your little crystal ball tell you when I actually hit his site?

 Here's a hint: it wasn't yesterday. Fire your tracking software.

 
60143/19/2013 10:39:03 AMCuryousWhat do you see?

 I see that Frank Guarnuccio checked Dr. Art's hours online yesterday.

 
60023/2/2013 12:00:00 AMReid
Dhur
Fuck...movie references all the way back to Shakespeare.

The only thing you missed was Lebowski.

 Fuck.

 
60013/1/2013 10:35:37 PMMidnightI heard that Crackhead wants to challenge Rodeo to a face-off on Kain.

Except he wants Rodeo to be on foot since he's such a hot triathlete.

Any chance of adding a death match to the April 7th festivities?

 Here's our problem(s).

We have no idea how to get hold of Rodeo.

After he stumbled into his Widding (on Kain mid February) wherein he was officially timed, nommed, and photoshopped younger, Mary sent him e-mail to get his physical address for sending his consolation Plećbo T-shirt and water bottle (which items are owned by only a very few of the "...best of the best of the best, Sir!" riders), but he never bothered to respond.

Therefore your guess is as good as ours with regard to how such a thing as an all out death match could be arranged.

In any case I'm not sure I agree with you a hundred percent on your police work, there, Midnight.

Why would the fabled Crackhead even consider giving Rodeo a quasi title shot (afoot or not with standing), since Crackhead currently perches six (6) slots above Rodeo on the only true Official Kain World Record Leader Board?

In fact, about the only person Rodeo beat is that shithead Frank Wolfe (who managed to get to the top of Kain first without bothering to be fastest).

The bottom line, however, is that since those Jersey boys and girls came up and stole the Kain Cup (to everybody's dismay but nobody's counter), American Road Cycling has clearly been out of the Kain climb business.

Except for shipping off wads of money and possible prizes (more likely to become adult entertainment swag), we have nothing to do with this event.

Maybe you, whoever the fuck you are, (and I doubt you even know who Crackhead is much less live 20 mailboxes down from him), maybe you could get all the poor players upon a page and organize the sound and fury of the affair on your own whimper.

Then you could personally beg the organizer of the Kain Climb (formerly known as the Pain of Kain based on the Kain Assault and pilferer of the Kain Cup), to allow such an aside show, and then maybe you could get the ducks in a row and march them up to Pysners yourself.

On the other hand maybe you couldn't.

 
59982/27/2013 9:55:48 PMCuryousSomebody said you just did a Respond All to Dr. Larry's entire mailing list with another one of your patented, "Get me the fuck off this list" emails.

Why are you so sensitive about your name on e-mail broadcast lists?

 It is a never ending battle.

As the cute little man in this video says, "If I wanted to talk to you people, I'd go to the Facebook page." >>>

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59972/27/2013 8:08:14 PMLarry GroginHey, it's climb time again.

Time for the annual Kain Road climb!

This one's not for glory but for charity.

Okay, charity and glory.

Date: Sunday April 7 @ 9 am.

Please come out.

Asking for a donation to Paul Newman's Hole in the Wall Gang charity.

 We won't be there this year but are sending in our $100 dollar donation in case one of the local club riders would like to finally get off their ass and show up for a ride.

You remember the local club riders...those people who let New Jersey steal the Kain Cup then whined about it for the rest of the year.

For our own part we'll also be throwing in a free Plećbo T-shirt and water bottle for Dr. Larry's own personal enjoyment in thanks for putting together the best motherfucking bicycle festival and race event that we have ever had the privilege of attending.

Of course the T and bottle must be considered for adult entertainment only and should never be used around kids.

To the Arc Staff

Send out that check with a T-shirt and water bottle for Larry (give him an extra each so he can give them as a prize for something like "most Kains in 1 hour" or whatever...last year's was eight I believe while three women did three in an hour and one runner did two (including two loops down 17K), and see if you can't get the Sugar Loaf Guild to throw in another $100 dollars for promotional consideration.

To the two people who still read this forum

Try to show up for the goddamn climb.

Your tickets have been paid for.

But don't be expecting no Kain Cup.

That puppy is gone and gone for good.

 
59882/18/2013 11:15:45 AMARC
Staff
All day you've been breaking out into fits of giggling.

What is that all about?

 Somebody just found the Plećbo website by googling: american products.

I will be giggling for years.

 
59862/12/2013 10:59:26 AMARC
Staff
Jamie Ferrara was just over at the bottom of Kain getting ready for a quick snack before climbing.

The Widder happened by and of course fucked with him.

Then she recorded his time.

Afterwards she nommed him "Rodeo"—as in his sputtered, "This ain't my first rodeo," after she gave him an extended lecture on how to climb Kain, how Joe Straub did it, how everybody else does it, etc.

That raises Jamie above the MERELY STRAVA group (putting him on par with the likes of Andreas Runggatscher and others) while rocketing him onto the American Road Cycling Official Leader Board in 9th place.

And if getting pulled out of the LOWLY STRAVA RANKS wasn't enough, "Rodeo" has also qualified for a free Plećbo t-shirt and water bottle...not for his time and placement but for putting up with Widder.

EXTRA
LINK...
"Rodeo" at the top of Kain. >>>EXTRA
LINK...
59832/10/2013 11:31:30 PMHumbertoI'm confused.

The weather channel has started naming winter storms just like they were hurricanes.

Now I don't know how bad the weather is going to be.

 Bunch of mercenary asshole marketeers.

Next they'll be selling bike parts at 500% over cost.

Mafia dons go to jail for less.

 
59822/9/2013 4:30:45 PMCharles HodgeIf it helps you any, I weigh 143 and have been working on holding 300 watts for an hour. Done 292 so far.

Wondering if 320 watts for an hour is considered threshold or is anything over 30 minutes threshold?

I assume 320 for an hour is a harder goal than 30 minutes.

I also realize Taylor Phinney does 400 watts for an hour but 300 watts per hour equals his w/kilo, but he would destroy me in a TT.

 My own preference is to use an actual 1-Hr TT when judging FT, but others may find quick rule of thumb calculations are useful to them.

One local rider has put it in perfect context like this: "Functional Threshold? That just means, 'How hard can you push the pedals...forever.'"

In any case, whatever criteria one uses in the attempt to generalize comparisons with other riders, things very quickly degrade into an apples to oranges situation.

The purpose of the figures and calculations provided here in Cycling Performance Simplified is to help riders identify reliable repeatable criteria to use in fine tuning their own performance when compared specifically against their own performance.

In summary it is a simple matter of: "Is what I am doing actually improving my performance or only making it worse?"

While the first consideration is of course: "How can I be sure?"

 
59812/9/2013 4:22:00 PMCharles HodgeIs the FT on the chart that has 5 w/kg beside Cat 1 ranking for men based more for 20 minutes or an hour?

 My own preference is to use an actual 1-Hr TT when judging FT while my recollection of the book (that those figures were abstracted from) is that the actual criteria was not very specifically stated.

 
59772/5/2013 1:15:04 PMWalrus Boy

formerly

Turtle Boy

aka:

Humberto
Cavalheiro
This is the bestest motherfuckingest most wonderfullest thing I have ever seen !! >>>

EXTRA
LINK...
I especially liked SlingShot's new moustache.

 
59752/5/2013 7:49:28 AMCuryousWhy do you assume that was actually Ann Marie Love?

 Never said that I did.

 
59742/4/2013 10:30:51 PMAnn Marie LoveHey Bob,

Great info and style.

I'm sure you have found this site by now in your search for cycling data sites...but in case you haven't: ██████.

Seems they are on the same wave length or at least could chat with you about yours. aml

 Had not seen that website, but just took a look at their home page and found it far too commercial for my tastes.

Pretty easy to be on the same wave length as me, just the very simplest classical earth bound physics and most basic elementary biomechanics.

Nothin' to it.

 
59732/3/2013 1:30:29 PMDanThat's the problem.

I don't know.

I'm just doing what I do, what feels right.

I'm trying to figure out how to take it to the next level,.

Where can I find these answers?

 First master the Course Outline.

Then work your way through the remaining References.

Arnie Baker's book smart cycling has 100 pages as Part 4 dedicated to Racing and tactics.

Also a lot of practical lessons are found on the Video Links page.

I see from my web usage logs that you have already gone through most of the Cycling Performance Simplified pages, but it may not be apparent that an insane amount of improvement on your bicycle is found by doing the correct exercises off your bicycle in order to correct and balance your overall movement patterns.

It is easy to discount how important having balanced movment patterns are, but since I started looking closely at this, I have never seen one rider who is fully even and balanced.

I will leave you with this thought.

Last year a rider at a club ride was asking me about his gearing for a planned trip to Colorado and for some day long climbs.

I suggested changes to his setup, and he asked, "Are you sure that will help?"

To that I responded, "Absolutely. In fact I can guarantee that if you get the right gears and learn to spin smoothly you will positively be one to two tenths miles an hour faster for the exact same effort."

He spit, "What? One or two tenths mile an hour. That is all?!"

I explained, "I said it was faster. I didn't say it was magic."

BTW: Glad to see you spent some time on the Torque page.

 
59722/2/2013 8:04:06 PMDanI can't tell how it works, but it does.

When I do my workout program, they all use the Powertap which is displayed on screen.

When I match their speed and cadence, my watts match theirs, but what I am confused on is how to become more efficient like you talked about not chasing someone up a hill.

What should I focus on during a race?

How do I train to be most efficient?

 Why do you believe you are not already riding most efficiently?

 
59712/1/2013 2:51:39 PMDan DeckerI have been riding for 4 years: started riding MTB for fun, then started racing them, then started doing triathlons and road riding.

In the last 3 years I have done over 70 races.

I have just finished an 8 week power training program.

I use the iSport Pro power meter.

The thing I'm confused about is how do I put the info I read about to use?

 Ok, I'll have to do some homework first.

I'll edit this post as I work my way through.

Right now I have begun reading an article about a power meter that I assume is similar to the one you are using: article.


It took me awhile to go through the article, and then I spent some time on the iSport website trying to find an actual statement regarding the manner in which iSport measures forces.

Maybe you will know better about it, but best thing I could figure is that it is some variation on wind resistance and speed.

If that is the case, no wonder you are confused.

I was excited to find a cheaper power meter, but calling the iSport a power meter is to be calling it something it is not.

You may certainly find it somewhat useful in training (until you get closer to your ultimate potential), but it is not for precision work, and the manner in which it was compared to a Powertap would of necessity show similar results over the long haul.

One could get the same results using a reliable speedometer, or better yet a stopwatch.

In order to understand the content in Cycling Performance Simplified, you would need a measuring device that gives you very quick feedback, and I should add here that the Powertap is itself way too slow.

However, given your level of experience and MTB riding, you probably already know the gist of it anyway: a quick smooth cadence is inherently more powerful (faster) than a slow plodding mash.

That is why you have MTB gears for steep climbs.

Please tell me I am wrong, that I missed the part about how the iSport works, and that you can tell me exactly how it measures "forces."

EXTRA
LINK...
59691/31/2013 8:05:05 PMDanGreat info, but I am confused.

Are you saying to spin faster with less Torque = faster speed?

 Due to the fact it left you confused, I would judge the info was not so great.

How long have you been cycling and at what level?

Also what power meter are you using, and to what chapter, paragraph, and sentence are you referring?

 
59671/27/2013 9:18:59 AMCuryousSo what is your final take on that person who posted the Rich Staley question?

 Given their position on getting things correct before building strength into it, doing full hour tests, attention to relevant detail, etc, anybody who has that person as a trainer is very lucky indeed and should be paying very close attention to what they are being told by them.

 
59661/26/2013 1:14:21 AMRich StaleyThis email is for Bill Hill.

I read your articles about power training, power to speed and weight etc.

I own a bicycle shop in Reno Nevada, and we do a ton of computrainer training.

I am much more about building base, bike fit, and pedal stroke efficiency before working on true interval power.

However, to cut to the chase, we were doing Hour Power testing with a full hour course.

I feel that when testing for hour power, you really should do it for an hour.

There is a mental and physical component missing from testing for 2 intervals at 6, 8, or 12 minute bursts, then averaging and multiplying by some percentage to get your threshold power.

Anyway, during the test I noticed that when a heavier rider was compared to a lighter rider there was an anomaly.

In 3 different cases, the heavier rider won the race by time, but lost by watts per kilo.

Most notably was a 176 lb rider who turned 325 watts at 4.07 w/kilo.

He lost by a minute to a 220 lb rider who turned 358 watts but at 3.59 w/kilo.

The course was flat, no hills, no wind, and no drafting.

Calibration was done to a warm tire, and all riders calibrated around 2.5.

It was a simple 23 mile time trial.

There were 3 other riders where the heavier rider won by time, but lost by w/kilo.

So, my question is simply why.

When I punched these numbers into your power and weight to speed calculator, I got the same results where the heavier rider was going almost a mile per hour faster than the lighter rider even though the lighter rider is turning a higher w/kilo by almost .5 w/kilo.

What the heck am I missing?

Thanks for your input
Rich Staley

 Don't know who Bill Hill is, but if I read your question correctly, the answer is simple.

The Cycling Performance Simplified power to weight and speed calculator does not consider rider weight in the speed calculations.

Therefore, if you matched the results with Computrainer, you have merely revealed a flaw in the Computrainer readings.

That is to say, although Computrainer purports to be providing calculations based partially on rider weight, it is not doing so, but is reporting speed based on an assumed weight.

My own Cycling Performance Simplified calculator states that a rider weight of 85 kilograms is assumed (for speed calculations) which would imply the Computrainer is using a similar figure if you matched results.

So you haven't missed anything in your process (everything you prefaced is dead on correct), and you have only pointed out the imprecision of the current measuring tools.

Not to mention the Torque value is missing from Computrainer measurements and that might also help explain the results you observed.

Otherwise, who is Bill Hill, and why would you expect that a posting here would be read by him?

Also, why would you expect me to believe you are Rich Staley just because you say you are?

 
59641/21/2013 6:08:52 PMdenise
re:
London, OH
blogasphere
It was Shoemaker's Market 179 E. Center Street.

The IGA was Bussey's (sp?) IGA [more recently a KFC] next to the Fruit Market.

I didn't get Ballenger's email. Would you mind private emailing me.

Thanks so much. LOVE THE PICS! I'm stealing the Dixie's...LOL!

I was a Leach. Parents owned Hotel Pizza.

 Most disclaimers are hidden at the bottom, but these are so important I must put them first.

Disclaimer #1: this is going to be long.

Disclaimer #2: I am about to break my own personal rule with regard to writing about London, Ohio, which is: First, do no harm.

Ok, maybe I am not going to do any harm, but this is going to get very close to "maybe I might" which is a place I promised myself I would never even turn toward.

The reason is this.

Whatever I have to say about London, Ohio, is in the absolute truest sense totally irrelevant not only to any one who has lived there in the past, but most certainly to any one there now.

I would hate myself if the slightest thing I said caused in the smallest way even the mildest irritation to any person living there now who is just trying to get by best they can.

On reviewing my current situation, I recently came to the realization that what I had always considered a very long epoch being born and raised in a small Midwest town was really only about a 10 year stint, and nowadays if I sneeze ten years have flown past.

My wife and I have a neighbor (in Sugar Loaf, NY) whom we consider to be one of the new people, and last week we realized they have lived here for 15 years.

As for me writing about London, it is as the saying goes, "I don't have a dog in that fight," so it is very easy for me to have opinions from afar.

Another rule of mine which I am about to break is my refusal to write about anything that has to do with food.

That is my rule because I know how hard it is to resist being triggered to overeat which for me means eating at all, because I am a cyclist, and although cyclists are apparently allowed to lie, cheat, steal, sue their friends, and take as many performance enhancing drugs as they want, the one thing a cyclist is never ever allowed to do is eat.

Especially when riding competitively in the mountains of upstate New York.

Now that you have the warnings here we go.

One last caveat: I am about to talk about some very good tasting food, but my own personal belief is that restaurants could not do a more efficient job of poisoning people if they set out to do it on purpose.

I have a certain expertise in that area having been raised in restaurants, and having later been privileged to see a bright giggling twinkle in Art Ellwood's eye when I pulled in from college to work as a short order cook in the Dixie Drive-In over the summer, and Art thought, "Great! Bob is here, and I can go on vacation."

Also be aware this following description of a singular bit of culinary excellence is going to include an implicit though not overt reference to animals which have been lavishly cared for up to a point just slightly proximate to dinner and then, well, you know.

Think about this for instance: a pig is smarter, friendlier, more playful, and some would say cuter than a dog, yet you would never consider eating your dog.

So with all the disclaimers out of the way you are now allowed to forget them just like people everywhere do every day.

This is about a morsel of food (even a half mouthful is a treasure) which is of the most absolute excellence, and it is a meal that few in London are likely to even consider unique, because it was a mainstay part of life in London, OH for as long as I lived there.

I can only hope the thing still exists.

As a prelude let it be known that when it comes to excellence you are unlikely to find a more reliable authority than I, because I have spent a successful lifetime studying it, looking for it, figuring out what it is, what it is not, where it exists, and where it does not.

I am a master of the art.

Therefore, I can attest that absolutely beyond a single doubt nothing found in any corner of the universe even approaches the excellence, the raw sui generis, of a Hotel Pizza sub.

Maybe Phat Daddy's has maintained the tradition, but I wouldn't know, ask somebody who actually lives there.

In my own case I did not realize how unique those subs were while I was living there, and I only realized years after being away from the source and looking for a similar treat (which I had become accustomed to getting on a whim) before I finally realized: a sub from Hotel Pizza is like no other sub to be found.

Take my word for it.

I always just thought that a sub is a sub is a sub.

Not so.

New York subs are by and large merely sandwiches on a roll and never heated, let alone toasted in a 1,000 °F commercial pizza oven until the cheese crusts into the nooks of crinkled aluminum foil and adds the element of hunt, peck, and chase to the most desired parts of the meal.

Only people who have had a Hotel Pizza sub (maybe now from Phat Daddy's) will know what I am talking about.

Not only do New York subs fall short but all subs everywhere barely hint at what a sub can be.

There have been attempts.

The closest I came to the gold standard of the Hotel Pizza sub was in a small shop somewhere near South Beach Miami in Florida circa 1976.

I had driven down from New York with a friend during a lay-off from work, and we had basically used my little green Volkswagen in exactly the way it was supposed to be used during that time, which will let you know just how hungry we were when we got there, and the fact we ended up selling our blood to gather enough money to stay an extra day before returning home probably doesn't even need to be mentioned.

Be that as it may, when I found myself in a little shop that boasted "heated subs" I was coming to some of my senses around a few words on the menu above the counter when I was shocked by the realization that those unstable swirling words were reporting the actual list of ingredients.

I thought, "Could this be a real sub? Could this be what they made at Hotel Pizza?"

I ordered one while I was memorizing the ingredients...a massive effort.

I could tell you about those ingredients right now but that would be stupid and delay the fact the sub came close (very close) but was not exactly the same as the subs people in London order without so much as a thought.

I still make them myself when I totally lose my mind and have to eat something (anything), competitive cycling be damned.

Also, recently a large pizza chain began selling "hot subs" which are reminiscent of the common sub of London, Ohio—where people probably never even bother to add the word 'heated' because it is assumed a sub, is a sub, is a sub—but the large pizza chain version lacks almost everything beyond a light reference to the real deal.

Less quality, less taste, less excellence.

I would imagine that the ingredients alone that were used in the subs I remember cannot be found anymore.

I spent a long time flipping burgers, so I know without a doubt the grissly chewy things people call hamburgers these days are hardly recognizeable as meat.

Undoubtedly the ingredients of the vintage Hotel Pizza sub has suffered the same fate.

I mean we live in a world where oranges sometimes look and taste like grapefruit, and apples seem to be grown inside a thick plastic shell.

I understand why: genetic alterations to throw pest insects off their game, but like the song says, some things have changed forever, not for better.

I once asked a local pizza shop if they could make a sub for me with those special ingredients that I had memorized way back when, in the manner prescribed, and they said, "Absolutely. Anything you want."

I knew it was the same statement I had been trained to use in my dealings with the public in London, Ohio, so although the resulting subs were very close to the real thing, I couldn't bear to make them repeat it when I saw how far out of their norm fufilling my request had been.

So if you live in London, Ohio, you can rest smug, happy, and comfortable knowing that you are in the place, my friend, in the place.

I would be surprised if there wasn't already a massive tourist industry based on: "Come to London, Ohio. Come for the real deal, the true small town USA experience, the salt of the earth essence of humanity. Come for the subs alone!"

And don't even get me started on Hume and Mabe which still exists as Mabe's.

Only the brain dead would choose shopping in some slightly cheaper but significantly poorer big box store over being pampered by vintage truly personalized service at Mabe's.

 

 
59621/19/2013 6:07:09 PMAl
Kater
What's this shit I hear about you sticking up for Lance and saying what he's done has been good for cycling?

 No, really, I mean it.

Things were getting out of control what with so much cachet attached to something in which USA was purely unbeatable.

Now that Lance has made the sport of cycling a toxic pariah, maybe some of those worthless club riders who were just gumming up the roads for the food and fancy bikes will move on to something else, get out of the way, and let the rest of us finally get in a good ride.

Besides, people who believe in heroes and need them in order to do anything significant will always get exactly what they deserve...disappointment.

 
59551/13/2013 10:51:50 PMNew
Cents
SlingShot, your level of niceness toward that Tom Holton guy was uncustomary.

 You have to understand: he knew me when I would become embarrased and chide myself for days if I slipped and said, "Shucks" out loud.

No really, I'm serious.

 
59541/13/2013 8:08:34 PMTom HoltonMort! (now you know I'm for real!)

Did you give Steve Brown and me credit for chasing your skinny butt around all those streets of London?

And do you remember laying out the quarter-mile oval in the grass with Mr. King at the Catholic School since we did not have a quarter mile track for practice?

Those were good times!

 Given the email address you provided with your comment, I have no doubt you are Tom Holton.

I would however point out two errors in your comments.

First off, I believe you mean Dave Brown, not Steve, as the only Steve I recall at the moment is Steve Browning, but now that I'm thinking about it, there was a Steve Carter who was son of the Methodist Minister prior to Dave's dad.

Or so I think.

I might be foggy on that, but I am quite certain on the second point which is: the two of you never chased my butt around that track, nor the streets of London, but were always clearly leading my butt around.

Given that fact, I would have to say the "good times" you remember may have been relative to your own experience, not so much to mine.

Except laying out that quarter mile track was a high point, and I used what I learned in that geometry exercise to outline a practice dressage ring just outside the Palm Beach show grounds many years later.

As for further accrediting, I would only mention that your influence on me certainly went well beyond kicking my ass in the mile and the half mile and would have to include your being my roll model in several other areas as well.

I believe it was probably as early as sixth grade that I noticed your shirts were always clean, pressed, and fashionable.

I thought to myself, "Someday I am going to get my act together, do my homework, and show up with reasonable clothes...just like Tom Holton."

Probably a larger one of your influences on me would be your writing.

It is unlikely you remember the time when (you were already submitting articles to the Madison Press and providing them with phone-in football and basketball scores) and I asked, "Tom, do you think if somebody really wanted to, they could learn to be a writer?"

You said, "I'm sure they could."

I guess my own failure at becoming a writer would be considered "notwithstanding," while the fact I still dress like a slob and get none of my homework done is just an aside.

Mentioning how well you sang (actual notes matching the ones on the radio), would be pointless I guess.

Let's see...what was your favorite: "Happy Together"?

Of course, there was your dad's insane level of influence which would be hard to explain to anybody these days, because one would have to preface it with, "You know, there was a time when the idea that scout leaders could ever do anything inappropriate was just totally absurd and far beyond any stretch of any imagination—even of the insane. Scout leaders did nothing but show you how to survive in the outdoors, and told you stories that inspired you to be smarter and a better person all around. And that is all they did."

In my own case of course, old man Holton did what he could, but impossible is impossible.

Unfortunately I will not be able to glimpse how you may have found the Cycling Performance Simplified website until downloading tomorrow's usage logs, but I'm guessing you first saw the London, Ohio folder over on KeyTap...which reminds me of the number of years I assumed LondonTom (see: flickr) was probably you.

Otherwise, since my flurried response has moved as far away from cycling as possible (assuming you even do such a thing as ride a bicycle), maybe you would allow me to toggle this note off of the Cycling Performance Simplified website and onto the London, Ohio site where I can make a story out of it.

I never did know how I got the name Mort, but I always assumed it must be as derogatory as SlingShot, probably because the person who used it most forcefully was Bill Hillman (and he seemed to live to harass me), so I applaud it.

Ironically, Mort is in fact a name my older brother went by, but I don't think anybody my age ever knew about it.

I believe Bill Hillman found some hapless character by that name in one of the books from his long shelf of already read books: then he immediately started calling me Mort, and that was that.

Bill also organized a group of kids after school one day to abduct me over to his house (on School Street) where they tied me upside down to the swing set tree house.

I think Vance Nichols was in that crew, and I thought, "They finally like me. They really, really like me! Someday I'm going to read as many books as Hillman."

I am begging you once more to let me toggle this over to London, Ohio, so I can address the cross burning incident on your lawn which I guess points somewhat away from the "good times" thesis and happened because your girlfriend was not quite Caucasian enough for somebody else's taste.

At the time I thought, "Let's see...Valerie is very arguably the nicest, smartest, and prettiest girl in school. Somebody's jealous."

I also had a life changing epiphany on the street outside your house one insanely crisp fall evening.

But that's another story.

And, no, I'm not—not that it matters.

 
59531/11/2013 11:17:40 AMddoTActually, I think I began a search for some way to turn some data from a basement trainer session into something that I could use, and I ended up here.

How fucked up is that?

Can't wait for my team Plec'bo gear. I've never been a sponsored athlete before. I'm so awesome, my awesome is even in awe of it's own awesomeness.

 Actually, you'd be surprised how many people get here with almost the exact same search [I went back and tracked down your most recent first arrival].

The Cycling Performance Simplified book has become somewhat of a phenomenon.

Here's a suggestion for your basement: E-motion Rollers

Those rollers, a Powertap, and some Plećbo, well, you can't go wrong.

Lots better than the current stream of bullshit numbers being spewed off everybody's handlebar GPS units.

By the way, nice try with the single quote, so here's the real deal:

ć

That's in case you want to copy/paste it into a google search for: Plećbo.

Be sure to read the instructions carefully when you get the product, because you can really fuck yourself up with it otherwise.

If you find yourself turning green and kicking the shit out of bystanders, you probably want to back off your dosage a bit.

In any case, you might want to be careful when crowing about being part of Team Plećbo: it is more or less synonymous with confessing your association with Team EPO.

Otherwise, the awesome awesomeness of your own awesomeness is a well known cause for awe in performance circles, and Mary says your kit is in the mail.

 
59521/9/2013 1:52:41 PMARC
Staff
What do you make of this? >>>

EXTRA
LINK...
The single fucking most amazing thing I have ever seen...if true.

 
59511/8/2013 5:45:22 PMARC
Staff
Just to keep you aprised, SlingShot, your little friend ddoT got here through Facebook apparently looking for stuff about Anthony Fatuzzo and the Kain Cup.

 I knew something had to get him here.

 
59501/8/2013 11:23:46 AMddotJust wanted to say hi!

And as always, thanks for the Christmas card. New address for next year- ██████. See you soon!

 You have qualified for a free t-shirt and watter bottle to be sent to your new address at: ██████

Everybody else (those who were dropped from Santa's list due to bad behavior) can make a last ditch effort to stay in with the in crowd by purchasing their own on eBay.

There. Enjoy your thrashing.

 
59491/7/2013 11:40:51 AMddoTwow.

 Where the fuck have you been?

Were you gettin' tired of not havin' your ass kicked, and dropped by for a thrashing?

 
59471/4/2013 3:10:34 PMHumberto
Cavalheiro
I really don't care about any of this.

I am in Portugal, and I have no intention of getting in shape.

 Nobody ever expected that you would.

 
59461/4/2013 3:06:09 PMAndreas
Runggatscher
Check this Hill out, you may know it - just did it - Mine Hill Road. Frankly tougher than Kain.EXTRA
LINK...
You may have a case there.

My feeling has always been that it is easier than Kain because the steep part is at the bottom.

Could be you were just tired from your success in taking control of the Kain Cup.

Why don't you go back there with Joe Straub, and see what he thinks about it.

On the way up you can explain to Joe what it feels like being the current (not past) holder of the Kain Cup.

That way you can find out what he thinks about that also.

 
59451/4/2013 10:46:52 AMARC
Staff
SlingShot, you might find this interesting.

Here is the Google search results that brought Andreas to the ARC website in order to post his Kain Results. >>>

EXTRA
LINK...
Lot of guys get here that way.

 
59441/3/2013 5:04:33 PMHumberto
Cavalheiro
I am still not going to get in shape.

 We knew that you would not.

 
59431/3/2013 2:33:01 PMAndreas RunggatscherNew Kain Baseline: 6:59 >>>

EXTRA
LINK...
Motherfucker!

Now we have to buy another goddamn motherfucking Kain Cup.

Seems like an awful lot of work just to keep something out of the hands of Joe Straub, but we'll do it.

 
59391/1/2013 3:01:37 PMMary
Endico
Widderinski
I agree with Frank Wolfe's documentary photo.

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

 Apparently the colder the better.

 
59381/1/2013 2:59:11 PMARC
Staff
We have reviewed the situation and concluded that Frank Wolfe's photo of himself at the top of Kain, in the dead of winter, a few moments after midnight New Years Eve, is far superior to any picture that we could take.

Therefore, we will save Frank some time and aggravation by sending his award via US mail.

EXTRA
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Ok, do what you guys do.

 
59371/1/2013 4:01:53 AMCuryousWhy don't you cheap ass people just buy another Kain Cup?

 Maybe we will.

 
59361/1/2013 3:56:31 AMHumberto
Cavalheiro
I hope this doesn't mean I have to get in shape this year.

 Don't worry, Turtle Boy, nothing is going to make you get in shape.

Least of all this. >>>

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59351/1/2013 1:37:10 AM2013 Kain BaselineCouldn't use the driveways since nobody did a decent job removing snow. Definitely harder when you can't see more than 20 feet in front of you.

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Guess you do not want to hear about how I got together with Greg Tsoucalas earlier this week. and we decided to use Greenwich time this year, and how the Discovery Channel film crew followed him up as he set a 12:02:59 just 5 hours earlier.

Ok, since you so obviously do not want to hear that, I am not going to tell you that.

It was a lie anyway.

Your Award will be handed to you soon as we can secure a photographer (she has to walk her fucking dog first).

Otherwise, just name the time and place of your convenience.

Your prize looks like this. >>>

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59341/1/2013 1:21:46 AM2013 Kain BaselineThe 2013 baseline is 12:03

EXTRA
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Duuuuuuuude..uh!

 
592912/11/2012 12:52:41 AMCuryousGuess you felt real bad running that photo of Twin Lynn's brother after you found out she just broke her hand and a few ribs when she crashed into that curbside big pink overstuffed sofa.

 No, not at all.

 
592812/9/2012 9:37:50 AMInstant
Gator
Well... I'm waiting.

 Ok. >>>

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592612/2/2012 10:07:47 PMCuryousHow's that project?

 Going. >>>EXTRA
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592511/30/2012 2:15:53 AMSlingShotWhen this is ready I'm all over it!EXTRA
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Me too. 
592211/25/2012 2:45:11 PMMichael BolesCan you give a link or tell me how you got all the numbers in this formula:

= SUM (SQRT ((2 * A2) / (9.8067 * A4 * 0.0053) + 0.185) * 60 * 60 / 1000 * 0.621371192 )

I would like to try and see if I can make it show watts based on speed and distance.

Where do these numbers come from or mean:

(9.8067, 0.0053, 0.185, 0.621371192)

Thank you for your time, I just like playing with numbers.

 Those are the formula and constants used by the Power to Weight Calculator which also calculates speed based on power while showing nominal race categories.

The numbers and formula were abstracted from the Wikipedia article linked below:

Be aware the calculations will only be meaningful assuming a more or less circular course which ends at the starting point, or an out and back, where wind will be neutralized.

Also be sure to review my chapter on Torque.

I personally spent a lot of time confirming the validity of these numbers in the real world.

You should have no trouble reversing the order of the Power to Speed calculations.

BTW: Is this you?

 
592111/24/2012 11:26:59 PMStu
I have to tell you: Newton was nowhere near that apple when it fell.

Just some more long standing bullshit.

 Does this look like the learning channel?

 
592011/21/2012 1:05:25 PMAndré
Prainure
What's that guy talking about?

 My watts book. 
591911/20/2012 12:31:21 PMRichard
Wharton
This is GENIUS. How long has this been up?

 Thank you for saying so, but actually it is just simple physics.

On the other hand, when that guy got hit on the head with an apple and came up with a measuring system based on the weight of an apple falling out of a tree, people called that genius as well.

Except the ideas here are not really my own, just settled science that the functioning of the Powertap is based on, although I do seem to have looked at the situation a little more closely than most...the people currently at Powertap included.

Well, ok, maybe some of the ideas are my own.

The first elements of CPS were posted the beginning of January, 2008, and I do recall at the time nobody called it genius, they just referred to me as that stark raving lunatic.

However, the results of everything mentioned here are easy to reproduce, so some of that talk has died down of late.

In any case, thanks for reading and for writing.

BTW: Is this you?

 
591811/18/2012 10:49:15 AMArmy
Geddon
Shit, SlingShot, it seems to me rude of you to pick apart the first few paragraphs of something somebody wrote years ago as a kid!

 That's as far as I could get without Internet access and the ability to look up all the names of referenced authors.

Why don't you yourself just give me myself a bit of a break on the matter.

 
591711/18/2012 9:44:19 AMSlingShotI'm wondering if anything else has been happening.

 Well, it happens there is this.

During Hurricane Sandy's Internet and Cable TV blackout I used our electric (which fortunately stayed on) to get a little deeper into a book I have been reading.

The title is "Arming Against Hitler" and it was written by a strong cyclist I met one day while riding toward Kain Road on Bellvale Lakes.

Her name (the author) is Jennie Kiesling and not only had she expressed interest in Kain, she was very excited to hear about power meters and later I traced her thorough reading my book online.

Unfortunately, her plan to borrow one of our Powertap wheels is put off until spring due to her realization that what with authoring and publishing all sorts of heavy historical treatises, she is a professor of history at West Point and also coaches their rowing team (a sport in which she has iconic credential).

In other words she has a life.

Long story shorter, I had some thoughts about her book and took some notes on my iPod while our Internet was down.

So like I said, the following is about her book (available on Amazon, etc) titled "Arming Against Hitler" which thesis holds that the French were not total idiots in there handling of Nazi Germany but were defeated despite having followed a path that was actually rational at the time.

I am of course a peacenik, so my position is that the French were never really "defeated" but the term is only what we apply to the situation today...because we love war and cannot imagine a world without it.

Here is what I wrote to Jennie but never sent, because after all: she doesn't even have time to borrow the Powertap wheel.

Hi Jennie : )

At this point my assertion is this: France's strategy was not only understandable, it was immanently successful.

By extension of your (Keisling's) observation that France's preparations must not be judged according to our current belief in the correctness of the tactics of "modern war" (circa 1996)1, neither should current constructs which qualify defeat be applied to a philosophical system which ultimately provided adequate protection to assure its own survival.

Had in fact the result of the French military process (which never rose to match the ideal of "modern, motorized war,"1) in truth combined with the French polity's particular "alliance policy" in a manner ultimately providing such profound victory to German thought that France was irrevocably subsumed into that conquering regime's substance thus making it certain that today speaking of France would be totally indistinguishable from speaking of Nazism, then one might consider France as having been defeated.

In that case one might also build a strong case that all French actions at the time were fruitless--in the unlikely event that such discussions would still be allowed.

However, whatever the reasons we now choose to ascribe as causative toward the current reality, the fact remains that France's actions perfectly combined with all other national actions of the time to derive our now perfect world wide state wherein the struggle to define the nature of dictatorial imperialistic authoritarian rule and distinguish it from a manifestly merely benign spreading of democratic ideals, continues to be a battle waged full force, both politically and militarily.

That is to say, those who do not know history are doomed to unwittingly repeat it.

Those who know history are doomed to repeat it in full knowledge.

  1Par 2, pg 4
  2Par2, pg 4 ref Par 3, pg 2

 
591611/18/2012 12:07:01 AMCuryousSo you are just going keep on it until you find that motorcyclist?

 Yes.

My main interest now, however, is to find out just how they are connected to the Woodbury Town Officials and Police Department.

 
591511/17/2012 11:56:10 PMARC
Staff
SlingShot, while we were researching alternative terms for the words videotaping and filming, we found that another term for what happened to you might be "paperchase" and also found a trail leading to this Wikipedia article about a man being arrested for videotaping the police. >>>EXTRA
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Like I give a fuck.

The general consensus (logically) is that such acts are fully legal, aside from the unavoidable horror of getting your ass thrown in jail for a little bit of time, plus a criminal record being opened on your name.

Criminals (whether general citizens or police) will always aggressively avoid being recorded...a situation which was highlighted by the overreaction when I stood up to speak at the Town of Woodbury Town Board Meeting (which was dropped from the minutes) plus the police chief making a move toward Mary when it was noticed we were making our own record.

I really cannot decide if I felt in more danger while being wrestled over a cliff by that motorcyclist or when trying to report the incident to authorities afterward.

My suggestion is to make a habit of recording every-fucking-thing that happens around you.

 
591411/17/2012 10:13:49 AMCidi
Zine
I reviewed that question you asked the Town Supervisor over at the Woodbury Town Board Meeting:
"Are comments in the Public Comments section of this meeting subject to prior review, constraint, and censorship?"
You do realize that their stopping you from speaking in a public comments section of a Town Board Meeting was illegal, don't you?

 Yeah, I know, and I also know that most of the people the meeting probably just thought it was "rude" not knowing how significantly illegal the action was.

The Woodbury Town Supervisor (John Burke) is in fact a sociopath (not trash talk, just a statement of fact), and my lawyer advised me to never ever be in the same room with him alone again...ever.

I agree with my lawyer, given the string of lies I watched the man spew without even taking a breath in between.

Fortunately, I will be able to find my attacker without the Town's help...actually I should say hindrance.

 
591311/14/2012 9:58:01 PMAunt
Zee
Have you given up on that attacker project.

 Nope.

Everyday I spend a little time on YouTube searches.

I found some postings by WoodburySkateTeam and got a little excited, mostly because one of the skaters had a jacket very similar to the guy who tried to knock me over that cliff in Woodbury.

One thing leads to another, and that video gave me enough information to search a little deeper, but I soon realized from content in another of WoodburySkateTeam's uploads that they were really coming from Woodbury, CT not Woodbury, NY.

Still I learned a little more about how to efficiently conduct YouTube searches, confirmed how closely we are all connected online, and got another good example of a jacket similar to one of my attackers.

I am sure anybody who sees it will understand why I said it looked like a hippie drug pusher from the 60's.

Take a look. >>>

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590911/10/2012 2:59:45 PMDogdir
Art
Collector
Anything new?

 Are you kidding? >>>

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590811/9/2012 8:43:43 PMB.
Fee
I assume with this hurricane stuff along with your ongoing project to find the motherfucker who attacked you (almost killed you on your bicycle over on Smith Clove Rd, Central Valley, NY), you probably haven't gotten another thing done.

 Well the great thing about being a computer genius is the ability it gives you to work on a whole bunch of different projects all at the same time.

I got this started up again after seeing something on TV that pissed me off. >>>

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590711/4/2012 1:49:21 PMCuryousOk, I get the way no way stuff (who knew), but what's with the need anything stuff?

I assume something about Hurricane Sandy.

 All's I'm sayin' is have some of my purple berries, been eating them for six or seven weeks now and I haven't got sick once.

 
590611/4/2012 1:20:37 AMMXNo way.

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Way.

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590511/3/2012 2:55:29 PMARC
Staff
They say you have it all, SlingShot, so if anybody needs anything should they just drop a line?

 Absolutely.

 
590411/1/2012 9:35:13 PMARC
Staff
SlingShot, people have been asking about your little scuffle over at the Town of Woodbury Town Board Meeting.

 Not much to report.

I knew I had to at least follow up with a question about their obviously illegal process.

After having been denied the opportunity to speak two weeks ago in the Public Comments section of the Board meeting, I at least had to go over and ask if that was standard.

My question was going to be:

"Are comments in the Public Comments section of this meeting subject to prior review, constraint, and censorship?"

Luckily I handed a copy of my question to members of the public at the beginning of the meeting and told them I would probably be stopped from asking it.

They refused to believe such a thing could happen, and if my question was not already sitting in front of them before I got up to speak they would never have believed that was all I was going to say.

It would have appeared that I was merely chagrined from being dressed down and only muttered the first meaningless thing that popped into my head afterwards.

As soon as I stood to speak, the Town Supervisor tried to stop me by telling me I had to approach him for a consultation first.

I walked straight to the podium.

He launched into exactly the same attack he had pulled on me two weeks ago (but that time it was out in a side room, or back room to all you political aficionados, ask people who were there), but this week he was out in full public view and a couple people got to see it happen almost stroke for stroke exactly as it had happened before!

No way to lie about it this time.

Well, I say "No way to lie about it," but really I am sure the local "TV" coverage has already been erased and there will not be a mention in the Town Board Minutes of even my presence at the meeting.

I just stood there smiling—shocked how perfectly he was showing exactly what he had done to me before.

After he ran out of steam a little (you do know I complete 5 hour competitive bicycle rides) I went ahead and asked the question anyway.

At least some people got to see him in action (usually he's behind closed doors), so one lady stood and complained how poorly I was treated.

That cued The Supervisor to back down, lie till his pants caught on fire, and act like nothing had actually happened.

Mary has sent the video of the event out to a bunch of people, so they can hold it for the investigation, which might happen after the guy who told her to stop filming and then acted like he was going to put a knife in me as we were walking out finally tracks me down and finishes the job.

Funny stuff…assuming you ignore the threat on my life.

 
590310/27/2012 1:19:05 PMDobroYou can't be done with this. Right?

 Right.

Here's a new flyer with descriptive photos. >>> [PDF]

 
590110/26/2012 8:58:16 PMDobroYeah, but word?

 Oh, right, local use of 'M-dub' short for "M double-u" (Monroe-Woodbury).

 
590010/26/2012 8:58:13 PMDobroWord?

 A YouTube video has brought me one step closer. >>>EXTRA
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589610/24/2012 10:22:08 PMCaliperGirlWhat about that motorcycle attack?

 Added this, passed out more flyers. >>>EXTRA
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589510/21/2012 9:52:51 PMHumbertoOh !

 My.

 
589410/21/2012 10:08:15 AMSlingShotThis morning's continued Internet search to find the person who attacked me was very fruitful indeed.

Pulling together several resources I finally got a picture similar to the jacket the motorcyclist was wearing.

I now understand why it was so hard to describe, so difficult to find, etc.

Unfortunately I still don't have a rear view of it, so next stop is motorcycle and outdoor shops to look at some things from the back.

I am getting closer to the perpetrator every day, and the full story how I did it is going to be stellar.

In the meantime, back to another long term project of mine.

His name...is Humberto.

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So that is 1-hr and change, with a 201 watt average on The Big Lollipop, and that was into a headwind added to the standard interuptions for road crossings and other nonsense.

The situation made the watts somewhat lower and the pace significantly lower.

Not to mention the first 45 minutes was at 215 watts.

Humberto...his name is Humberto!

 
589310/20/2012 12:14:13 PMARC
Staff
Bob would like to thank everybody who went out of their way to confirm that the top videos in this YouTube search are in fact Monroe-Woodbury High School, Central Valley, NY.

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Apparently things have gotten a little out of hand over there.

 
589110/18/2012 8:26:52 PMAunt
Zee
How'd your update presentation over at Woodbury Town Hall go?

 Got tossed out on my ear which was perfect for me, because I didn't really want to speak, just wanted to confirm a video I found on YouTube (searched: Monroe Woodbury 2012) is in fact the local Monroe-Woodbury High School.

Figured it would be rude to show up without taking the extra effort to prepare an update.

Funny how a little thing like construction on The Quickway can make one late enough to get people uneasy.

Anyway, I still have the outstanding issue.

Can anybody confirm that the linked video is in fact Monroe-Woodbury High School in New York, not in California, Ohio, or some other place? >>>

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589010/15/2012 10:43:31 PMAnn
Kshius
There has to be some way I can help?

 Won't cost you a penny! >>>

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588810/15/2012 9:25:57 PMA.
Ghast
Can it be?

ViolenceAgainstCyclists.org website is returned as Google Number One Ranking?

Already?

EXTRA
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Absolutely true.

Plus I have updated the $1000 Reward Flyer by adding a Second Page with reprint of the Woodbury Gazette article.

 
588710/14/2012 5:12:46 PMCuryousNow what's Little Danny Sullivan talking about?

 Nothing. He's just flappin' his jaw.

 
588610/14/2012 1:01:10 AMAndré
Prainure
How's that Violence Against Cyclists website coming along?

 Fully functional: top Google returns, direct input to database, easy forum posting, everything, in other words as they say, "That turkey is cooked!"

Next person who runs into the same criminal behavior will have an open forum to easily document it and see if other similar activity is occuring in the same location.

And less than two weeks after that motorcyclist threw his arm into my back.

Time to hit the street and find those fuckers.

Remind them I did not go over the cliff and should not be considered a practice victim for refining their approach.

 
588410/13/2012 7:20:46 PMLittle
Danny
Sullivan
I'm not sayin'...I'm just sayin'.

 Not for awhile you're not,

 
585710/12/2012 1:58:13 AMARC
Staff
The Violence Against Cyclists Database is now fed by a live Sql Server table... >>>

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Cool.

 
585510/11/2012 12:10:32 AMBoy
Yure
Man, you've got that Violence Against Cyclists website moved up to Google return 3 of page 1.

Guess you're done.

 Hardly. >>>

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585410/10/2012 8:15:23 AMFurston
Thymer
I just did a Google search for 'violence against cyclists' and found your new website (ViolenceAgainstCyclists.org) is already number 5 on page 1 of returns.

Do you fucking own the Internet?

 Pretty much. >>>

[10/15/12: Now number one.]

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585110/8/2012 6:09:57 AMCuryousWhy don't you get on the Google, SlingShot? Did you forget you have mad computer skills?

 Not forgot. >>>

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585010/7/2012 3:59:53 PMDizzy
Pointer
Holy crap! Is this yours... already?!

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Yes.

 
584910/7/2012 12:00:58 PMBen
Laudnum
How's that search for assailants coming along?

 I gave a presentation to OCBC at the Hump, and realized that every time I do something like that, I get another little piece of the puzzle.

There was a motorcyclist there who gave me great information and went away with the thought of finding out some more.

I was also reminded of just how spineless and without character human beings can be.

One woman, aghast at the story, told me she had also been attacked from a motorcycle that came up behind her and the passenger hit her!

I asked if she pursued the matter, she said no, and I retorted, "How dare you not even report it."

As I walked away I thought, "Wait, maybe that happened close to where my attack occurred, and I didn't even ask where!"

I was only a few steps away so I came back and asked, "Where did your attack happen?"

She said, "Oh, they never hit me, just drove close."

Right... evaporating circumstance.

Then Mary emailed a resident in one of the Smith Clove developments to get contact information for the head of the Homeowners Association.

Always in the past that person has made a big deal about being community minded and involved even to the point of one in the family being called The Boss by locals.

All of a sudden, that person had no idea who to get in touch with, didn't even think there was such an organization.

Right... one would think a concerned upstanding citizen would rather not have the word out about how the top of Smith Clove Rd is nothing more than a bunch of crack houses and meth labs.

Well, I've been here before: people brash and confident till it comes time to perform, even in the most minimal fashion.

Guess they are all waiting to begrudgingly show up to somebody's funeral... just so long as there are donuts involved.

I routinely kick such people's ass on their bicycle every day, sometimes as much as 19 or 20 hills in a row.

It's the kind of activity that weeds out the worthless.

I have begun adding logical search terms to the home page so any other area victim can help me assemble an actionable record.

Pretty soon Google will present Central Valley, NY as synonymous with motorcycle on bicycle violence.

It is what I do best.

 
584810/4/2012 10:12:02 PMA.
Stoot
I'll bet they never show up here.

 I try not to take bets I can't win.

 
584710/4/2012 10:05:39 PMAnn
Kshius
Remember how that cop reacted when you took a swing at him?

How do you think he's going to react when he finds out you're letting kids read bad words?

Plus you probably shouldn't be insulting Gawron like that but begging him to give those people extra credit if they find your perpetrators.

 At least my language is grammatically correct, and those KIDS had to notice how I never used the word cocksucker even once in that meeting.

There are times when you have to be on auto-pilot with clean language.

It's hard to do, best to practice constantly.

 
584610/4/2012 12:45:14 PMCuryousSo how did that Woodbury Town Meeting go?

 It was the single most amazing thing I have ever seen.

Get this: there were KIDS there.

Well, ok, young adults who are already functioning far above all the old adults I know... really, true to life, fully involved, smart KIDS... at a town meeting!

Whoever heard of such a thing?

I was a Member of the Town of Chester Planning Board for 8 years and never saw anybody younger than 73 the whole time.

Those young people will text their friends, put together a movement, and find those sport bike assholes in no time.

Apparently they were seniors from this class.

For the time being I am not releasing their names, because catching those motorcycle motherfuckers is going to happen a lot quicker anonymously.

But their teacher Gawron knows who they are, and he better be giving them all A's before they blow the lid off his little charade of teaching people who really don't need it.

Them KIDS were smart, and they asked questions, bet Gawron never taught them that!

They are going to go places, do things, be someone, that's just a fact.

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584510/4/2012 12:43:35 PMARC
Staff
I think what you are saying is that you "...do have a certain set of skills."

 Exactly.

 
584410/4/2012 12:43:28 PMBob FugettThe motorcycle attack on SlingShot story has been added to the top of the home page.

10/07/12
Issue now has its own webiste.]

 That way Google can help us find these criminals.

 
584310/4/2012 12:01:07 AMCuryousWho'll be there?

 Me and my $1000 Reward Flyers (back).

 
584210/3/2012 3:13:23 PMCuryousWhere is the meeting?

 
Here >>>

Meeting starts at 7:30 pm Thursday 10/04/12, but the Public Comment section is at the end of the meeting.

You'll get to sit through nonsense Town Board Members get to sit through all the time.

My plan is to be quick as possible.

Bring your helmet.

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584110/3/2012 7:13:16 AMA.
Stoot
$1000 Reward Status Report

Just went over to Woodbury and got my haircut on the way to the Town Hall where I spoke to the Town Supervisor.

The Town Supervisor stated presenting my $1000 Reward Flyer (back) to the Town Board is acceptable... in fact encouraged.

That will happen tomorrow night at the end of the Woodbury Town Board Meeting which starts at 7:30 pm.

It is to be televised on Channel 22 for the next several days.

 I do not expect any other cyclists will be in attendance, but if somebody does come, please keep the insane laughter at my antics down to a minimal roar.

If you accidentally do show up bring your cycling helmet so the Town Board knows who is there for what.

BTW: John Burke, Woodbury Town Supervisor, was one of the most sane individuals I have ever had the pleasure of speaking with.

Vote for him no matter what The Boss says.

 
584010/3/2012 6:35:34 AMBob FugettYou know the Woodbury cops probably already know who did this?

 Yeah, doesn't help me much though.

 
583910/3/2012 6:03:48 AMBob FugettIt is 6:03 am, and I am beginning the continuation of my long term project of finding the person who perpetrated the assault and battery.

Yesterday I showed my flyer to the Woodbury cop, then dropped off copies at businesses proximal to the incident.

Somebody knows something.

Today I will drop off flyers at more of the local cycling shops.

I feel it is my duty (I didn't apply for the job) to make people aware there is a psychopath with an enmity toward cyclists plus total disregard for human saftey at work and living in Central Valley near Smith Clove Road.

I'm thinking I should show up for the Woodbury Town Board Meeting this Thursday night.

There is an Agenda Item at the end of the meeting for Public Comment, and I would like to ask if they have any concerns over a cyclist being attacked on Smith Clove Road, or if they have the same lax attitude as the local police which is best summed up by the statement, "Pooor baaby!"

Does anybody know the contact information for the heads of the Homeowners Associations in the surrounding developments?

 I assume the motorcyclists who believed vehicular assault and fleeing the scene of an "accident" is acceptable behavior, never heard how a highly competitive cyclist is accustomed to being knocked around, sucking up pain and injury, not so easily thrown off a bike, and skilled in the art of long term payback wherein somebody who hurts them on a ride may not find out until years later the many profound and subtle forms that retribution can come in.

They may kill me, but they can't kill this idea.

Once again, does anybody know the contact information for the heads of the Homeowners Associations in the surrounding developments?

 
583810/2/2012 5:07:12 PMJenWhere's that pdf of the reward flyer you've been passing out all over Orange County, so I can post it at the Deli and Post Office?

EXTRA
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Link at left is to the front and right is to the back which includes a reprint of the Woodbury Gazette article and address for the new website, and tell Humberto I said it is not only ok but more or less mandatory to go ahead and post whatever he wants on Facebook.

Don't forget to give the police a heads up starting point when they find me dead in some ditch because I refused to shut up and take it.

$1,000 Reward Flyer >>>

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583610/1/2012 8:13:33 PMCuryousAre you going to publish this elsewhere?

 I have submitted a query to the Times Herald Record but am open to all options.

 
583510/1/2012 7:33:11 PMBob Fugett
$1,000 Reward

This is real: a one thousand dollar reward for information leading to the arrest, prosecution, and conviction of the hit and run motorcyclist (more precisely vehicular assault) who hit me on my bicycle this evening on Smith Clove Road as we were both traveling southwest about halfway between Trout Brook Rd and the golf course.

I was alone, but there were two motorcyclists. The "witness" was behind my attacker so might like to have the $1,000 for themself instead of taking the chance one of the numerous people they are likely to tell about the incident takes the money for themselves while implicating the second motorcycle driver as a fully involved accomplice.

There also may have been an automotive motorist traveling in the opposite direction who might testify.

It happened approximately 6:15 pm 10/01/12, and all I can say about it is the person who hit me was on a sport bike and in retrospect they must have snuck up behind me slowly, because I did not hear them approach.

I took a massive shot like a body block on my left arm (almost put me over the cliff) but afterward failed to see anything resembling a license plate as they whined off.

I filed a police report with the Town of Woodbury Police Department.

Of course I was wearing my standard SlingShot bones jersey and gave them a resounding finger as they sped away... so whatever video they took will be easily identifiable.

Everybody troll YouTube, Facebook, et al, and see if we can't find these people.

Easily worth the $1,000 that I will gladly hand over to see them in jail.

 Once again: the $1,000 reward is real.

My arm is beginning to hurt like a motherfucker and it is hard to type with my left hand.

Beat the bushes and let's make sure this isn't the sort of activity people begin to enoy.

 
58349/27/2012 12:41:31 AMAnn
Kshius
What is in that Plećbo stuff?

 Here is the list of ingredients. >>>

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58339/25/2012 8:10:35 PMSlingShotThis afternoon Widder and I did a grueling 53 mile Big Lollipop with Humberto, and his cycling performance inspired me so much I took off 5 pounds!

 I think you mean not so much inspired as perspired. 
58329/25/2012 9:40:33 AMAtlas
Shrugin
Man, that was clever how fast you got that to the top of Google!

 Then this morning (on merely day 6) the actual domain is already appearing at top. Cost me nothing. >>>EXTRA
LINK...
58319/24/2012 8:19:21 AMCuryousHow's your little project with that nutrional supplement/performance enhancer going?

 Just 5 days after establishing the domain name, Google page 1 returns are showing this. >>>

Where the link takes you to: Plećbo

I'm finally taking my computer skills out for a spin, wouldn't you say?

EXTRA
LINK...
58309/23/2012 10:10:07 PMSlingShotDr. Art (while today's Pine Hill road hill is still fresh in your mind) here is a comparison of what it took for me to stay on your wheel (actually rather severely gapped off your wheel) vs a similar 500+ watts on the flat.

EXTRA
LINK...
<<< Roll-over split left and right >>>
(for those without IE browser)

The roll-over also mentions
SlingShot's Kain PB is 43.17 Nm

EXTRA
LINK...
58299/19/2012 12:23:41 PMAl
Kater
What the fuck is this stuff? >>>EXTRA
LINK...
Supposed to be good for you, maybe make you faster. 
58289/14/2012 11:52:17 AMSlingShotHumberto!

If you get a break from dicking around trying to find somebody to beat me, ask your little Facebook friend James how the fuck they got behind me again on Thursday night's ride.

When I saw The Bicycle Doctor plugged onto the back of the group I thought, "If I see Rich Cruet going whoop-whoop-whoop like some Three Stooges asshole hooked onto the back of one more group passing me on a hill I'm going to open up my own fucking bike shop."

But in passing James had said, "Jump on," and I replied, "Ok," so I tried, but pretty soon I was off the back again.

Ok, so they got the jump on me a little, because I thought they were long gone before that, and I was already going easy and trying to conserve my IT Band and figure out where all my trigger points are slowing me down, but I must be getting into some sort of shape, because I really didn't think much of the effort until I looked at the data this morning.

Usually that group goes by me, I catch them, and the numbers aren't really that impressive, but this time (IT Band aside), it turns out James was really pulling those motherfuckers.

It was on the long uphill past Craigville Church going toward Goshen, and my effort trying to stay with them was an effective 644 watts for over a minute, in layman's terms that would be 38.2 mph on the flat.

To put that in perspective for you, last week when you were there and I stayed on Doug's wheel up the longish climb on Oxford Depot Rd, that was only 516 for 57 seconds, about a Cat 4 effort vs James' Cat 2.

Like I said maybe they ambushed me (my team wasn't there), but still, I'm just saying...

I'm not sure who all was in that group, but I believe Juan had bailed to go home while Andreas (who by the way just got 16th in a big race while sacrificing himself for his team that won) and Keith (also doing exceedingly well in the races) were well ahead of them, so fuck 'em all.

My IT Band is fine this morning despite the effort (that I should not have made), so things could have been a lot worse.

Maybe I'm getting in shape.

 SlingShot, if you hope to keep your ITB nice like it is (almost), get your ass off your computer and start your stick massage!

 
58279/14/2012 1:19:29 AMAtlas
Shrugin
What do you think got Humberto goin' on those arrangements for the future?

 I believe it started after even stuff like this didn't help. >>>

EXTRA
LINK...
58269/14/2012 1:06:38 AMARC
Staff
That was quick.

Humberto just posted this in response to your suggestion.

EXTRA
LINK...
Things are heating up.

 
58259/14/2012 12:57:08 AMARC
Staff
We have been trolling YouTube for you, SlingShot, and ran across this video.

Apparently Humberto is already taking steps to make sure this thing happens even if he himself fails...which he still believes unlikely.

EXTRA
LINK...
Kid's gonna have to get his knees in.

 
58239/13/2012 2:04:42 AMARC
Staff
Everybody (except for Humberto) take a look at this video about palpating your psoas.

Like we said: everybody but Humberto. >>>

EXTRA
LINK...
Here's one of equal importance but about finding your tensor fasciae latae, and this one Humberto is allowed to look at. >>>EXTRA
LINK...
58229/11/2012 4:39:44 PMCuryousSo in other words, SlingShot, you are saying it's a free country.

 I'm saying Humberto is free of his senses.

 
58219/11/2012 4:32:01 PMTurtle
Boy
Hello, Bob!

This is Humberto whom you may recall as Turtle Boy the Portuguese guy who used to be a cyclist.

In any case, I just wanted to touch base with an update about what I have been up to.

It is probably best to show you in this video, but to summerize, "I'm never getting old..."

Hope all is well.

Best regards,
Humberto Cavalheiro
(or as known in Florida: Donald Trump)

EXTRA
LINK...
You have your citizenship papers and pay your taxes, so you are welcome to try.

EXTRA
LINK...
58209/9/2012 11:40:35 PMYéYéWow, was that Bob on Kain?

 Not likely.

 
58199/9/2012 7:08:03 PMSlingShotYo, Berto, ready for this?

EXTRA
LINK...
C'mon, SlingShot, you're just trying to get out of the rain.

 
58189/8/2012 12:39:01 PMArmy
Geddon
Poor Humberto!

 He missed his chance.

 
58179/8/2012 12:36:23 PMARC
Staff
We just intercepted this video from Humberto to Jen. >>>

EXTRA
LINK...
That's it, I quit and officially retire from cycling.

 
58149/3/2012 8:03:12 PMCuryousWait a minute, did Humberto do all that while holding his iPhone in his hand filming?

 Yes.

 
58139/3/2012 7:38:25 PMARC
Staff
First a group of riders passed Humberto on 32.

He asked if they were from OCBC and they denied it while appearing to be insulted by the thought (can't much blame them).

Then this happened (turn on your sound):


Then this happened:


After the ride Humberto looked like this:

 Thanks for the report staff.

I have to mention I was riding with Pokers the other day out of Pine Island on the 284 climb when some asshole passed the group insulting first the last person dropped off the back, then the whole group up their sides individually, then me personally, and I did the exact same thing.

Took me a half mile (finally allowing him a 50 yard lead to feel comfortable enough) to get him to sit up and start screaming with obscene gestures in my direction.

Sort of blew the lid off his passive aggressive little, "How all you guys doing today," fucking bullshit.

I was told my actions were very un-poker-like.

Somebody tell Humberto that despite all observations to the contrary (regarding his current conditioning and resemblance to Joe Straub), he is acting very much NOT like a poker.

 
58129/2/2012 9:33:38 AMCuryousI saw that big belly video you posted.

Aren't you afraid Humberto is going to kill you?

 Nawh.

This time of year there are lots of squirrels and critters dead all over the road.

Humberto has plenty to eat, so I am safe.

 
58118/31/2012 10:05:09 PMPretty BoyTime for an intervention!

 Well I'm not gettin' in the middle of it.

Humberto is way past reclamation, and by the time Joe gets slow enough for me to catch, it will be too late for him as well.

Sounds like a job for you and Keith.

 
58108/31/2012 11:49:32 AMSlingShotYo, Glenn Babikian,

Track down your little friend Joe Straub and show him this video... so he won't feel so bad about himself. >>>

EXTRA
LINK...
That's not going to win you any friends, SlingShot.

 
58098/26/2012 9:46:27 AMHowe
Dragious
I hear you have a follow-up for the old Copperhead NOT articles.

 Sure do. >>>EXTRA
LINK...
58038/19/2012 11:09:30 AMARC
Staff
This morning somebody in Europe found the book by way of a Google search for:

how to eliminate dead spots in cycling
That took them directly to Myth of the Cycling Dead Spot which they read for a little over 5 minutes then clicked to Video Links which outlines corrective exercises.

After reviewing that page for 6 minutes they clicked over to Never Stretch (ever) where they found more information about how to fix their dead spot.

A little more than 11 minutes later they went back to the Video Links.

It was probably one of their most successful web searches ever, and we see a lot of that kind of activity on the book from all over the world, but very little of it locally.

However, we believe we saw Crackhead Ryan doing the same sort of thing a couple days ago, and of course Greg Solis who gave the book one of the best readings ever and won a free Egoscue as a Newest Most Avid Reader Award.

There are people in the world who actually do have an interest in cycling more so than merely the desert cocktails.

 Some people just get it.

Ryan is always at the front of rides, and Greg is soon to be.

Also don't forget the guy from British Columbia who got here today by googling: cycling power calculator, and was all over the book with extra time spent on the Ultimate Fast Paced Training Program.

Like I said, some people just get it.

 
58028/16/2012 10:07:26 PMARC
Staff
We thought it was important to report, because there were several people there who would want to know.

 If you say so.

 
58018/16/2012 9:31:43 PMARC
Staff
SLINGSHOT BUMPED BACK UP
TO THE MAJORS

The Staff got together and decided to make an official report regarding the dust up at tonight's Poker Ride starting from the public parking lot of the Dollar Store in Florida, NY.

SlingShot was busy making sure a new reader of his book had not gotten confused by any of it, just in case some editing needed to be done.

Out of nowhere, Mary Beth Henderson (Cranky) rides up to him and says, "You are not going to be part of this ride, so why don't you just go out now on your own."

To which the quizzical SlingShot replied, "No that's ok, I'm just going to be tagging along with Greg to make sure I haven't steered him wrong with something phrased maladroitly in the book."

Mary Beth Henderson (Cranky) then says, "But you are not a member: do you need an application?"

To which SlingShot politely replied, "Actually this is a public parking lot, and the ride is over public roadways, so I don't need a motherfucking nothing, thank you very much."

He continued, "In fact, since you put it that way, here is what I do need: I need to stay right on your wheel for the whole ride except for passing you just at the very top of each and every hill. How does that work for you?"

Mary Beth Henderson (Cranky) did not reply.

So for the entire ride, at the top of each and every hill, SlingShot passed Mary Beth Henderson (Cranky) ever so gently while calling out the number of the hill.

He also made certain that many of the regular riders also heard the numbers, so they knew he was counting something, just didn't know what.

Mary Beth Henderson (Cranky) said not one single word to SlingShot for the entire ride which is something of late that he has become proud of observing in her character, or rather lack thereof.

By the end SlingShot had lost count and couldn't quite remember if it was 19 or 20 hills so asked Mary Beth Henderson (Cranky) directly.

She did not return even a blank stare and managed it with the alacrity of one well practiced by a lifetime in the passive aggressive arts.

Emboldened SlingShot therefore made a loud proclamation claiming the parking lot in the name of American Road Cycling while explaining that future use of it (and the village, town, and county roads) by any of the local cycling groups would require a fee paid to ARC or at least a request tendered politely.

However, he has stated privately that he still intends to waive his appearance fee for local rides.

Again, Mary Beth Henderson (Cranky) had no comment as a cheer rang out amongst the throng of cyclists gathered round—though nobody seems to know why.

Due to the fact Mary Beth Henderson (Cranky) was obviously never going to acknowledge the wheel in front of her own for a full 19 or 20 hills in a row, SlingShot tricked the question into the mouth of a puppet minion which made Mary Beth Henderson (Cranky) utter, "1920 what?"

Which is how SlingShot earned the opportunity to replay the evening by placing his wheel in front Mary Beth Henderson (Cranky) one final time as he explained the situation to the troupe.

As it turns out two birds were taken by that single stone (another story wherein the other bird has been letting slip little chirps of actual truth recently), so SlingShot's life will be somewhat less cluttered.

Our suggestion is for SlingShot to go back to the truly fast rides from whence he came, where they understand cycling and are not focused on eating donuts in an all out contest to see whose butt can get the biggest.

In light of that, it probably wasn't very fair of him to beat Mary Beth Henderson (Cranky) on all the uphills (each and every one), though he did make up for it by staying on her wheel for all downhills, flats, and half-hearted sprint attempts as well.

The fast group is going to be very glad to see SlingShot return because of all the stories he will be bringing back about pitiful poker losers who (as has been said elsewhere), "...are dangerous panicky creatures most of whom don't have a clue, and don't want one."

 I wouldn't have bothered, but thanks for reporting, I guess.

 
58008/15/2012 9:47:23 AMCuryousDo I know that Steve Jinks fella?

 He looks like this. >>>EXTRA
LINK...
57998/14/2012 9:20:21 PMAl
Kater
I have seen this a few times, but it still gets to me.

That little ride Steve Jinx has got over at Key Bank on Tuesdays has really turned into something.

People get there so stoked about the ride, they even refused to let him make it shorter and easier this week.

They want their fucking hills, and they won't have it any other way.

Look at how excited those people get to ride with him, and look what a monster he has created.

Drove SlingShot dingbats.

Don't tell him I said so, but I have decided Jinks is a goddamn national treasure!

 I sure won't be the one to tell him.

 
57988/13/2012 12:05:16 PMARC
Staff
You got that Torque vs Watts follow-up for Dr. Art?

EXTRA
LINK...
At left is linked 20 seconds of a strong interval on the flat section of the Heritage Trail in Monroe between the bus stop and the Airplane Park.

At right is linked 20 seconds on Bank Street in Chester.

Before looking at the graphs imagine how hard each would be.

I am sure you know 20 seconds on Bank Street is going to be a lot harder than 20 seconds on the Heritage Trail.

Now look at the images and notice the average watts for the flat section is 486 watts while the effort on Bank Street is only 454 watts... 32 watts less.

So according to watts Bank Street should have been easier.

We both know how unlikely it is that Bank Street would be easier.

Now look at the difference in Torque: 14 for the flat, 53 for the hill.

Which number gives a better indication of how hard you are pushing the pedals, Torque or Watts?

The purple line shows the increase in effort clearly.

Watts gives you almost no indication at all with regard to how hard you are pushing the pedals, but Torque tracks very well with effort.

Only Powertap gives the number, SRM and Computrainer both ignore the situation.

No wonder people are confused.

Here is a rollover version so you can flip back and forth between the two graphs.

EXTRA
LINK...
57978/12/2012 2:07:02 AMCuryousSlingShot, I heard you stayed up late to watch Johann Tschopp take the yellow jersey in the Tour of Utah.

I thought you said all these races are bullshit?

What's up with you watching latenight TV.

 I said they are bullshit.

I never said I don't like them.

 
57968/8/2012 10:53:42 PMSlingShot
DR. ART SHOT THROUGH THE HEAD

Dr. Art, let me tell you, it has been five years of anxious lying in wait hoping to catch you out in the world, with a moment to spare, in order to show you how easy a 400 watt effort can be, and how EXTREMELY counter intuitive the paradigm shift revealed by an on-bicycle power meter is.

The only other place I have seen that particular look on a face was a Discovery Channel documentary where a marauding elephant was shot through the head with a... well, an elephant gun.

Except the elephant didn't loudly exclaim, "I did NOT get 400 watts!?"

Could have, but didn't.

Here is a link to the chapter I told you about where I recently showed this same thing to the Programs Coordinator of the Westchester Cycle Club:

And now that you've seen how insanely easy a 400 watt effort can be, the chapter on Torque will make perfect sense.

My only suggestion (as you begin scouring the Internet looking for a discussion about this which does not lead you right back on my own pages) is to never try explaining it to any other person else they believe you have lost your mind.

Except in the case where they have their own Powertap, because the number of people (not locals of course) using my calculator and book, taken with the lack of any questions submitted, implies that anybody with the correct meter can quickly repeat the results, are amazed, but need no further prompting in order to use it defeating the competition.

EXTRA
LINK...
Actually, this was the perfect storm of demonstrations: somebody 1) with a broad understanding of what has been written about watts, 2) smart enough to listen and understand the quick setup, 3) interested enough to follow instructions, 4) having enough miles in the saddle to know when being shown something shockingly unexpected, 5) strong enough to make the test work even though in street clothes with no clips (thus at ½ power).

For those of you who may not know Dr. Art, he looks (or did look) like this:

Maybe stronger than you, but the first linked chapter (DEAD SPOT) is about a 59 year old woman with two dysfunctional hips plus just recovering from a broken leg (4 months prior) who enjoyed the same result (not the muscles, the watts).

 
57958/7/2012 10:30:16 PMSlippery
Jinks
I'll have to admit, SlingShot, you did give me an interest in doing Kain. In fact enough of an interest that I looked up the profile.

I no longer have an interest.

 Ok, but you would only have to go 4.72 mph to beat me.

Here take another look at it, you only have to make it from the stop sign at the bottom to the telephone pole with the yellow dot at the top.

Here's some photos of those people from New Jersey who came up and stole the Kain Cup (make note of the fact the weakest woman shown here did three loops, discounting Cranky, of course, who didn't even try, along with all the other local losers except for Frank and Ryan).

By the way tell your friend Bianchi that I took Tracy's weight and ran the numbers and came up with some very precise findings.

For Bianchi to beat Tracy, he will only need to add 3.5% to his overall strength and drop 700 lbs.

 
57938/5/2012 11:59:41 PMB.
Fee
Bianchi's going to love this.

 I am sure of it.

 
57928/5/2012 11:58:19 PMARC
Staff
This afternoon Bianchi did a 19 mph loop on the Heritage Trail (nearly 2 mph over his standard) while you went out later on the same loop and only posted a 16.2 mph.

What was that about?

 Bianchi was just trying to beat himself to death, while I on the other hand already know how to beat him to death, so I didn't need to work on it.

I took the opportunity to go easy and think through some issues.

I realized Bianchi's dysfunction (revealed by Spun Crystals) where his left leg has a dead spot at 9 to 12 o'clock plus again at 4:30 to 6:15, but his right leg does not show a problem at 6 o'clock only a more severe problem near the 12 o'clock might be partially explained (for the 6 o'clock problem) by his left leg being held up by the more severe top position anomoly on his right.

Also, all things considered, his most recent dismal failure on the Functional Movement Screen (despite massive lower leg strength) might be the result of the manner in which he is doing his squats and adduction exercises, combined with his previous use of that stupid ass single speed, having finally trained his hip and leg muscles to fire in the wrong order.

He has the innate strengths (assuming the adduction machine he uses disallows interaction between left and right adductors), they just aren't being called into action at the appropriate times.

I really have to go look at the machine, because the Internet seems pretty determined to avoid showing the design specifications for such apparatuses. In any case, it might explain his particular brand of Florination.

I also think I came up with a stepped set of exercises to get him capable of standing on one leg like all the other girls in his Yoga class... designed them specifically so he can do them at work (nobody will even know he's working on it!).

 
57908/3/2012 1:47:23 AMARC
Staff
Preliminary research shows that the Powertap Joule does not in fact have a calibration for % of slope. It seems to be an integral non-user interactive feature set at the factory.

We couldn't even find a discussion about it.

We still can't figure out how it knows what angle any give stem is set at.

You'd probably better apologize to Big Bianchi.

 Nyah, fuck him.

 
57898/2/2012 10:54:59 PMBox
Orifice
How ya likin' dem Olypics?

 I hate them like I hate all things that pretend to be one thing when they are really the opposite.

The Olympics pretend to be about athletics, but they are really all about enticing people onto their couches for overeating thus making sure they could never achieve anything remotely resembling the feats presented by kids who are pretty close to starving in order to perform as they do.

Never mind how no actual information useful to athletes (such as just how hard are people pushing their fancy pedals) is made available for viewers.

While the gymnastics were on today, I was out cycling with true athletes who probably didn't give a thought to the broadcast spectacle.

Ended up finishing with John Rhein (like the river, spelled like those who are living by it like to spell it) a credentialed Marathoner.

But the gymnastics do remind me that there is one thing I really like about the Olympics... how women have made something incredible out of something that was never meant to be much.

I took some time to find this old video of uneven parallel bars linked at right, something I saw a few years ago on TV and it stuck with me.

Notice how in 1936 uneven parallel bars were obviously an off-shoot of men's parallel bars and were designed more as an extension of the beam.

Also the beam itself was more or less a "sport" made out of walking correctly for beauty pageants, modeling gigs, or going to get the coffee.

Can you see how the uneven bar was nothing more than a hand hold for prancing on an unstable beam?

Made sense, because women could never be strong like men, "May as well let them pretend to be athletes," except the women were already transforming it.

Compare these performances to anything the tiny little girls are doing today.

Try to imagine any man in the world doing what the women do on two bars offset by a meter while men themselves can barely handle a single high bar.

Of course I understand the child abuse element involved, and how much those little girls have to suffer for their sport, but then I am a cyclist, and cyclists are renowned for selling their souls for the chance to keep riding and compete.

Fortunately I am a piss poor cyclist, so my soul is in no danger.

Though I will certainly kick your ass, but you are the only one.

EXTRA
LINK...
57888/1/2012 2:30:23 AMCuryousYou don't really think anybody reads this stuff, do you?

 I just realized that the whole time I was writing below, there was a TV show left on of people sitting around playing poker... with actual play by play.

Reading the stuff I write is an absolute total waste of time. What more could people want?

 
57878/1/2012 12:47:01 AMPrire
Badacks
I heard you ITT'd the Tuesday ride, dropped the group and kicked everybody's ass.

 There were five (5) Crackhead Ryan events and one (1), maybe two (2), John Pardoni events, but otherwise what you say is true, and I was really proud of how I handled the "events."

At the very start I came across Crackhead and who I believed to be Cranky turning around to join the ride.

My thought, "Fuck. They are warmed up already and Ryan is going to pull Cranky to me, probably about the place her weight advantage will kick in. Wonder if I will have the fortitude to let them go and stick to my program."

I was hoping for a 17+ loop using only 180 watts, so I promised myself not to go over 200 no matter what.

By the turn onto Gurda Lane, I already had 202 watts and a 19.88 mph average, so I thought, "Got to get down to at least under 200."

Even with that in mind I held 211 going up Gurda (so 202 average by the top) thinking, "Ryan should have been here already. Cranky's probably holding him back. I've got to get under 200. "

Ryan pulled up beside me on the next hill, found out I was Time Trialing, and asked the goal.

"Under 200."

Unfortunately, by the time he heard that, I had just done a 419 watt interval with a 575 max to stay beside him on the hill, for which I began chiding myself.

Next hill I forced myself to let him go a little and kept it under 400 (pretty pleased with myself).

At the turn onto Owens Road he got a little squirrely (probably trying to decide if I was going left or right) so I eased up, lost some watts and momentum (efficiency) through the turn.

While pacing beside him on the hill after that (4th event if you are counting) I read out my numbers until he backed it down from 348, 340, 409 (whoops), 380, 260, thank you.

The 5th Ryan event was my popping 473 to start the downhill as he left to go back and I thought, "Fucker left Cranky on my wheel, now I am going to have to wrestle with trying not to kick her ass on the hill going up to Rte. 284."

Then I realized I could feel some instability in my left hip, but too late, Ryan's damage was done, "If I can just baby it a little, maybe it will come back online."

Thankfully when I hit the 284 hill, the person who came around was John Pardoni (like the cigar), not Cranky, so it was not perfectly easy staying on focus, but I did and managed to hold it down to 228 to the top with only a 303 reflex at the very beginning when I thought it was Cranky attacking.

All the way up 284, I kept expecting the group to catch me, but at the top of Oil City not a soul was in sight... except of course John Pardoni who was sitting in wait.

I told him that I was going to finish my Time Trial straight back to Newport Bridge Road and the parking lot, "Wait for the group here, shouldn't be much longer than 15 minutes till they get here."

At the intersection of Newport Bridge and 26 there was a wreck being cleared away by emergency vehicles, tow trucks, police and fire, so by the time I got through that I was 1 minute 18 seconds off my goal.

Not bad though, because I have new data once again proving a 20 mph average only requires the amount of energy required to pick a full cycling water bottle off the floor and onto a table.

At Rte. 284 my average was 19.09 with Torque of 8.88 Nm.

So it works like this: conversion of N to Nm is 1 to 1 except factoring in gravity the rule of thumb is 10 N per 1 Nm.

Thus raising 1 Kilogram (2.2 lbs, the weight of a full cycling water bottle) to the height of 1 meter (about table height) while counting 1 one thousand would equal just a little more force than my Torque of 8.88 which equaled just a little less than 20 mph, so factor in my hip instability (thank you Ryan) and my other performance errors plus the extra 1 Newton head room, and there it is... or rather would have been.

Doesn't take much, but it does take some.

Like concert piano: more skill than brute force.

This newest re-confirmation with real world data was certainly worth Florinating myself.

 
57867/31/2012 1:43:04 AMAnn
Kshius
Why haven't you ever posted a training program?

 Never got so tired of explaining it to people one at a time before. >>>

EXTRA
LINK...
57807/24/2012 11:40:27 PMSlingShot
DUNLEVY EXPOSED

After every ride I always download my data and make a quick check to see if anything interesting happened.

I've got it down to a science, doesn't take a minute.

What I saw after tonight's ride left me speechless, but fortunately for you not write-less.

Due to the fact I got kicked out of the Tuesday Night Pine Island Ride for plucking Big Bianchi (Rich Lawrence) off the back and planting him on the front (where he beat EVERYONE), I decided this week to stop over at the Joe-Fix-It's ride to see what's watt.

It's all good though, because lots of people in that ride do not know who I am, so I get to be a little more anonymous and a little less targety.

Even though I did not click all my turn intervals (because the ride was far too chaotic and dangerous for that), I did attack the group three times on the hills on 17K, so I figured to make a quick check just to see how hard I had worked to do it.

With my first glance at the data I only noted my peak watts for the whole ride were 711 and thought, "Not bad, although I wouldn't have expected those attacks took so much."

Recently I haven't been allowing myself to attack the group (working on technical studies), but on the approach to 17K the ride had gone onto a road I don't know very well, so I eased off in anticipation of a series of very hard hills that would end with a 'T' left onto a very, very hard hill.

To pass the time I trash talked Twin Lynn such as, "What was that? An interval? Not much of one," until I remembered that big hill coming (plus her 45lb weight advantage) and eased off waiting.

Except my memory of the first series of hills was 70lbs ago, so they were really a non-issue plus we turned right and away from the major hill, so I had lots of juice left when we got to 17K.

I got a little frisky, "Guess I might as well go ahead and push a little since nobody else seems to want to."

My first attack was off the front along the flats, and I kept looking back but nobody was playing, so I backed off and rushed the group again attacking to the top of the next hill.

That seemed to get things going some, and I slid back telling Rich Cruet (The Bicycle Doctor), "There... I got them going for you a little bit."

But things immediately wound down on the next flats, so I went by Rich again whispering, "Looks like they need a booster shot."

As I took the top of the final hill I shouted, "SOMEBODY push into your pedals... pleassse!"

The guy who had just previously been on the front queried, "Who? Me? You talking to me?"

"I'm talking to anybody... Push into your pedals somebody, anybody. Let's work a little how 'bout it?"

Twin Lynn started to pass the guy and onto the front but thought better.

It had only been 26+ mph along the flat, so I certainly wasn't expecting 711 watts, because like I told somebody on the Heritage Trail after 4 miles at 26+ when they said, "Man, you could not be dropped."

"Well, you'd really have to be going more like 34 to drop me along this section."

Therefore I was somewhat impressed when I saw the download later stating I had hit 711 watts.

That led me to look at my full ride graph from which I might zoom in and see all of the how hard, for how long, at what rpm, and (especially) what Torque, sort of things.

And that is the exact moment my jaw dropped and I stopped dead in my tracks.

At a glance I saw my 711 watt power peak had happened far too late in the ride for it to have been the 17K attacks!

"Where the fuck else could I have had to generate that kind of power?"

I could only think of one other place but, "Nooo! No way. It could not have been there."

So I pulled out Google maps and did a real careful job of reconstructing the missed interval clicks (remember? ride too chaotic, dangerous, no clicks?)

First I pulled a map route to where I thought the 711 might have happened, checked the distance, then highlighted the graph to check the distance to the big watt spike.

"Mother fucker. Exact same distance. It is true."

My peak power had happened on BRIAN DUNLEVY'S wheel, on much shallower hills on Neelytown Road and long after I had totally shut down with, "Well, if nobody's playing, I'm just going to go easy and work on pulling my left leg over the top of the crank."

Brian Dunlevy.

Who knew?

And the kicker: the group had gotten a little off course, so during the Neelytown section (during which I thought we were behind them), the group was actually chasing us for 2.8 miles.

For clarity sake, it was two instances of a 711 watt max.

The first was during a 540 watt interval topping off with a 144 rpm cadence burst.

The second was only a 471 watt interval and a 117 rpm burst because I am a quick study and didn't let Dunlevy get the drop on me a second time.

Compare that to the three successful attacks against the whole group:

Watts
peak, interval, burst

493, 363, 119
544, 344, 117
563, 242, 123

vs on Dunlevy's wheel:

711, 540, 144
711, 471, 117

Twenty-five percent easier to kick the whole group's ass deep in a ride, than to stay on Brian's wheel even later in the ride.

Good thing my heart rate never got over 159 or I would get upset.

Like I said, "Brian Dunlevy, the owner of Joe-Fix-It's. Who knew?"

 

 Guess you're pretty happy with your fancy pants track the ride with information nobody else has data.

Guess you spend a lot of time thinking about THIS.

 
57797/23/2012 9:03:49 AMTGHi,

I just came (and not for the first time) onto your site.

With your permission I would like to translate some of the material into Hebrew and post it on my blog.

Of course, all references to the origin, to this site, as well as your short bio shall be added.

Thanks,
Tomer

 Absolutely no problem.

Have at it, and thank you for asking first.

 
57777/22/2012 2:33:55 PMSlingShotOk, I'll take on your Bianchi Challenge.

In fact I already did it yesterday.

I decided to do the first part of the Big Lollipop with the specific intent of beating Bianchi's 1-hour plus at 191 watts.

For purposes of continuity I decided to focus on just the hour and not the overages.

By the 36 minute mark I was still holding 195 so pretty much on track despite having hoped for a 200+.

Unfortunately by the 1-hr mark my watts average had dropped to 183, so Bianchi beat me by 8 watts.

After that I just limped home with things getting so bad I actually stopped at a food mart for a rest.

Hell, I don't even like to slow down past food marts.

So what are you going to do now, SlingShot, "document my failure" like you promised?

 Must I remind you that I am you, so in fact I have documented your failure.

 
57767/22/2012 2:33:14 PMCrankyI protest !

 I am sure you do.

 
57757/22/2012 2:22:47 PMShock
Kid
Wait, you're saying Bianchi (even with 2 miles of flat tire) beat EVERYBODY at Thursday's ride?

 Yes, the only people in front of him took a double shortcut to get ahead...though they did in fact do a good job of timing it real nice to make it appear as though they caught him.

Thankfully, Jinx and Tracy reported having waited for them at the top of Mission Land forever and a day... but they never showed.

Tricks like that are best done when nobody's around to tell on you.

 
57747/20/2012 2:51:17 PMCuryousHow'd that other lesson with the Activities Chair of the Westchester Cycling Club go?

 I observed possibly the most significant phenomenon to date. >>>

EXTRA
LINK...
57737/20/2012 2:42:52 AMTwin
Lynn
So what?

I was doing 230 watts indoors during spin classes this winter.

 Yeah, but that was 45 minutes on a stationary with a flywheel.

If you think you can beat Bianchi out in the real world, I've got an extra wheel we can throw on your bike and go for a spin.

Actually, not just you: anybody thinks they can beat him, I'll be more than happy to document their failure.

Sure as fuck, nobody beat him Thursday.

 
57727/20/2012 1:58:39 AMARC
Staff
DURING 20 MPH BASELINE TEST
BIANCHI POSTS THREE (3) NEW
PERSONAL BESTS

During a one hour time trial from Big-V Thursday evening, Big Bianchi dropped just shy of his target watts while posting three (3) new personal bests.

With SlingShot sitting on his wheel and barking power readings, the Big established a 1-hr Individual Time Trial baseline of 191 Watts for his first serious step toward a Hump Individual Time Trial of 20 mph.

It was just 9 watts below what is calculated to be required for the Hump attempt later this season.

More impressively, the elapsed time at that power was actually significantly, longer than an hour—1:15.22 so well within a half hour of the planned time on the Hump.

An early ride technical snafu (SlingShot hit the wrong damn button trying to sync back to Bianchi's wheel after poking people to the top of the first hill) caused these results to not be known during the ride, but they were revealed by the data download afterwards.

Also not known at the ride was the fact Bianchi's actual average speed was 17.66, not the 17.3 shown at the finish, and that was after the last two miles on a flat rear tire.

All this will translate very well onto the less technical and hopefully wind assisted Hump on the day of the Trial.

SlingShot said of Bianchi, "The man exhibited a steely will and focus uncommon in the local cycling crowd. He would not give up even after the mis-clicked interval left the appearance he was already 20 watts below his goal from very early on."

The only blemish to the ride was Frank Wolfe offering SlingShot his middle finger as our two man team passed the band of losers at the Pine Island filling station and SlingShot shouted, "You all having a dandy little rest are you?"

When asked about the fingering, SlingShot remarked, "Seemed appropriate."

 Some people will say anything in hopes of assuring future drafts.

 
57717/10/2012 11:49:55 PMARC
Staff
Now that you've finally gotten somebody else to see it, guess you're pretty pleased with yourself?

 Guess I am.

 
57707/10/2012 11:34:19 PMNew
Cents
How'd it go with Bianchi tonight?

 Near the top of a few hills I showed him how shifting down and spinning faster is actually significantly more POWERFUL (faster) than grinding—despite every fiber of his being confirming he was working easier when he did it.

Now that he has seen this extremely counter-intuitive fact of nature, he will replace me in the genie's bottle of trying to explain something so simple to people who have no way of understanding that it is true.

After the ride when I downloaded his data, I noticed he did not achieve one single Personal Best (in terms of Time at Watts) over what he already did on last Thursday's ride.

However, I'm sure he will attest that tonight's ride was a lot harder due to the shift in the ratio of Torque vs. Watts from being over geared.

Hopefully, he has learned to download his data and look at the graphs which will show how the Torque numbers track the (perceivable) difference in effort while the Watts numbers do not.

Then he can put together a rational program based on Torque @ Time and practice on a course more similar to the Hump since that is where he wants to do his 20 mph TT.

In any case, time for Bianchi to spend some time learning his meter while I go back to the fast rides else I'm going to start getting slow like all those "let's go for a quick pointless ride (no plan, no program) then we'll throw even that away by eating like pigs immediately afterward" other people.

Bianchi's smart: he'll figure it out.

 
57697/8/2012 10:58:24 PMKizzy
Cal
Ok, so you showed Bianchi how to kick not somebody's but everybody's ass.

So outside of being spotted and harassed today by Joe Straub at the light on 747 asking, "Lost?" (and you were so toasted from the 91° Big Lollipop it took you a full 87.15 seconds to recognize him in his van), what else you been up to?

 This among. >>>EXTRA
LINK...
57687/8/2012 6:58:04 PMBig
Bianchi
I have been to the mountain top.

 I know. I was there.

 
57677/6/2012 1:27:05 AMNon
Muss
SlingShot, I heard you posted a personal best 752 watt 5 seconds to make sure you didn't break contact with Slippery Steve Jinks on the final hill, but the last thing I saw was the two of you almost a mile ahead of the rest of the group headed toward the finish.

What did it look like at the line?

 A no bullshit absolutely uncontestable even-steven dead-heat tie with Jinks just slightly ahead.

 
57667/6/2012 12:51:47 AMARC
Staff
BIANCHI TAKES IRON MIKE'S HILL

In a surprising turn of events on the Thursday Ride, Bianchi finally beat somebody (everbody) up a hill!

Tell us what you saw, SlingShot.

 Well, first off let me say this was maybe the most exciting ride I have ever been on, and the data from the power meters is priceless.

At long last somebody showed up with a Powertap (Bianchi), so I could show them first hand what I have been raving about, and they could experience for themselves how rudimentary, and not subtle, but extremely counter intuitive it all is.

First thing in the parking lot I had Bianchi go over in a corner and do a quick spin just the right way, and voilà, he couldn't believe it: 455 watts like it was nothing.

I had been telling him how the flywheel on his stationary was skewing the power data and making it a lot harder than it has to be.

In the real world you can get a lot more power with a lot less effort—if you spin right.

On the first hills, I was on his wheel calling numbers to him (since this was his first time out with a power meter, I set one of my own CPUs to read his wheel in order to avoid technical nonsense getting in the way of his ride).

All in the first mile I shouted, "683; 677; 706."

Then, "You do know that the most any human has ever done for an hour is only 465, so where the fuck do you think you are going?"

However Bianchi is nothing if not a quick study which is why Mercedes has always placed him among their top Service Manager/Mechanics, so in a couple of miles he had toned it down a bit and was climbing with no more than 300 to 400 watts which was plenty to stay with the group.

In fact I believe he even noticed the one rider whose calves would always swell and bunch cut-up with effort, and maybe he even had the same thought as I did, "Man, that dude is wasting a lot of energy getting it all soaked up by his crank arm…never making it to his wheel."

Good.

After that I watched closely as Bianchi gained confidence and started clicking down on hills, spinning a little more quickly, watching others crack around him.

By the time we got to Iron Mike's Hill, Bianchi had a handle on the process, though he was still a bit skeptical...untill about the three quarter mark of that hill of such renown when the lead rider faltered.

I smiled when I saw Bianchi test a little faster spin, get a little closer to the front, back off thinking, "Could it be? Could it really be that easy?" and then, "Screw it, I'm goin'"

As he pulled out and around I sensed we were going to the top and exclaimed aloud, "I can't fucking believe it, Bianchi is actually going to beat somebody!!"

And he beat them all.

What he will really remember though is the subsequent baseline where he pulled along the flats at 20+ mph, with an almost classic text book example of watts to speed, which were a lot fewer watts than he expected and a bit more speed.

Not to mention, he was pulling into an off axis headwind.

20.04 mph:
186 watts; 6.85 Nm; 93 Cad; 39.12 fx

That 39.12 fx is pretty special, but then he has been diligently doing his spin work for the last 5 years using his "...stupid-ass single speed."

I abstracted the half mile of his pull at 20+ mph with a rollover showing how I only needed 121 watts (drafting him) and linked it at right. >>>

BTW: The heart rate on his chart is my own while my other CPU timed-out my strap to zero which was maybe a cross-talk problem with Bianchi's own strap.

EXTRA
LINK...
57527/2/2012 11:38:30 AMKizzy
Cal
I hear the end is near?

 No, the end is here. >>>

EXTRA
LINK...
57516/23/2012 8:21:03 PMARC
Staff
Ok, SlingShot, we'll let you post it, but you are wasting your time.

Nobody reading here is going to be able to help you.

Maybe you should just move to Portugal.

 You Staff people sure do have a low opinion of your readers: somebody is going be able to suggest.

06/23/12

Possible tick bite / spider bite / poison ivy startup, prompted online search for self diagnosis (good results at Mayo plus Google images), and that reminded me to continue my quest for an actual online self diagnosis system that is trustworthy and tied to self initiated clinical tests plus lab work.

Although Crystal Run purports to provide online services they only provide it for scheduling and not for access to medical records such as promised by the Mayo Clinic's log-in screen:

"See your results and records as fast as your clinician does."

Actually this appears to be a type of service universally offered by every health center in existence so long as they are in Canada, Great Britain, or anywhere which is not the United States.

Review of Orange Regional Medical Center finds much about their new state of the art facilities but no similar statement to Mayo's above.

My last checkup showed terrific results but seemed the entire "yearly checkup" (this was my first in seven years) was merely designed to get me seated to hear a carefully scripted medical procedures sales pitch: unfortunate are those who would even mention a pain or discomfort of any kind.

I know better.

Due to the fact I could (in a matter of hours) whip-up an online database providing a person's full medical history with a single mouse click to be available to both patient and doctor (plus pharmacy if you like), and I'm not even a programmer, it seems obvious these "medical centers" really do not want you to have access to your own information if it might mean skipping the sale's pitch.

I think I will pop these notes into the Chatterbox where somebody might know of some place local that I may have missed.

Unlikely from a bunch of people who barely care about there own athletic performance let alone their personal health... but hope, as they say...

 
57506/22/2012 10:26:48 AMHumunah
Humunah
What's this I hear about SlingShot sitting at the light on Craigville Road at the intersection with 207 in Goshen (having gone out looking for his dropped saddle bag from the ride last night) when he decided (while looking at one of the buildings) that New Yorkers really don't give a shit and have just stopped trying. >>>EXTRA
LINK...
I think the clock on top reminded him of a building in his middle of Ohio tiny little backwoods hometown from when he was a kid.

In fact he walked past that remembered building, played football on its lawn, tried to climb the nooks and crannies, rode his bike around it so many times, he just stopped seeing it.

The little clock tower on top of the Goshen building reminded him, and his response was: "Right... nice try." >>>

EXTRA
LINK...
57496/19/2012 8:03:05 PMPull
Lese
SlingShot, I heard what you said about Steve Jinks after the ride tonight.

Bet you'd never say that in public!

 Would too.

I said Jinks could be a lot slower, and I still wouldn't like him.

 
57406/14/2012 8:25:05 AMARC
Staff
Mr. Fugett,

Did you forget you had a separate CPS forum setup?

 I did, but this morning I toggled this discussion over to it.

 
57386/13/2012 7:42:17 PMKCThanks Bob. Unfortunately, the version of the Nook I have has the web browser permanently disabled. No worries, I'll have to read the book via my PC. That works.

Hope you enjoyed the ride. I have to wait to 5 before I can go for one. The weather is looking promising.

 After my ride (went out with Widder, her birthday, great ride, long massive hills, perfect day), I got home, saw your email and went online to see about getting something onto your Nook.

I found out the Nook uses ePUB format and also accepts PDF, so I decided I could probably put something together for you in those formats.

I have another book available in both of those formats as well as Kindle.

However, when I started stepping through the process, I realized there are a couple essential aspects to the web browser version of Cycling Performance Simplified that would be lost in both ePUB and PDF.

The most important element lost would be the interactive Power to Weight Calculator which automatically assigns power data to Race Categories (based on the data gathered by Allan and Coggan).

Those calculations are central to making the book easy to understand, because a lot of the discussion is too counterintuitive without a solid objective reference—due to the mythology built up over years of cycling performance being measured by highly unreliable criteria.

In fact, even though I know this stuff inside out, I still have to remind myself of the facts almost every ride.

Such as, "I'm pushing really hard. I must be generating a lot of power and speed."

Couldn't be further from the truth: correctly pushing very lightly can be significantly more powerful and faster. (see: Torque and Dead Spot)

Another main element that would be lost to ePUB and PDF is the Table of Contents vertical navigation bar (left side of all pages).

It is not merely a static listing but is actually output from a database, which allows me to easily make global changes to address feedback from readers when they get lost.

On the other hand I fully understand the convenience of a resource in your pocket.

I do a lot of my own reading and daily chores on my aging iPod Touch.

But when it comes time to get down to business, I still default back to my laptop, its big screen, and thinking with 10 fingers while not bothering to look at them.

Still, if you want some aspect of Cycling Performance Simplified ported over to ePUB or PDF, I could take a run at it.

 
57376/13/2012 11:27:48 AMKCI somehow happened upon your book, and I'm eager to read it.

Is the only source the web site?

It would be handy to put it on my Nook.

cheers -

KC

 I just did a quick Google search and found the Nook has a hidden web browser that you might try and let me know if it works.

Here is a link to a YouTube video:

 
57356/12/2012 9:57:54 PMWatt
Fohr
Find anything good online?

 Lots and lots of this sort of stuff. >>>EXTRA
LINK...
57336/10/2012 12:07:37 PMCuryousSlingShot, you know stuff, so maybe you can help me out.

I was listening to an Internet radio station on my iPod when a little commercial video ran with somebody (apparently a famous musician) saying, "Music has become more culturally important than ever before. Music is now without boundaries?"

I always thought music was always culturally important since probably pre-history and has always been a language transcending borders, but what really got me puzzled was that part about "without boundaries."

What does that mean; something like you can now listen to music with your nose?

 You have it right, but that person (famous as they may be) is obviously a neophyte musician, because though they have learned to listen to music with their nose, they still can't smell the bullshit.

 
57316/7/2012 9:49:55 PMOdd
Zervant
I heard you decided to test your progress and snuck a hill on Patrick's wheel during last night's ride, but nobody's supposed to know.

What did that cost you?

 I'm sure Patrick didn't know I was there, and it's better if nobody knows I can do that.

One section of the hill was 625 watts with a 677 peak, but the whole thing was 569, so a pretty good interval.

A rather stark comparison to what I had after I ran into Bianchi after the ride was over and stayed on his wheel from almost Monroe to Goshen and back to Chester again with a 65 watt average, but most of the clicked intervals were 50 or below.

Big Bianchi is a big motherfucking draft.

The irony is I didn't do myself any good by staying on Patrick's wheel, but the time on Bianchi's wheel after the ride actually made me stronger.

Most people haven't a clue why that might be.

 
57296/5/2012 2:17:38 PMSlingShotLooks like the rain will be done and it will be clear for a ride tonight.

I need to go strong enough to add to my Sunday 1-hr at 182 watts, but easy enough not to destroy the gains I've been making.

Should I go to Joe-Fix-It's or Pine Island?

 Either/or, and I am just now trying to decide that myself.

If anybody comments before 5:15 pm, we will take their suggestion.

 
57276/4/2012 11:52:52 AMARC
Staff
Bianchi, regarding your ongoing, "I've just about got it clean enough to put my power meter on it," project. >>>

EXTRA
LINK...
Big dufus hipster.

 
57245/31/2012 5:16:28 PMMiss
Naction
I haven't been here in awhile, and now I show up and it looks like nothing has been going on.

 You are in luck.

Apple and YouTube just fucked up and trashed my favorites list, so I had to figure out a more secure way to keep track of my video links.

Here are the ones I have been saving for the cycling book. >>>

EXTRA
LINK...
57235/20/2012 1:27:20 PMSlingShotGoogle always likes it if I tell more people than just it about new stuff.

So here you go. >>> K/p>

EXTRA
LINK...
You do realize this cannot be taken back, don't you?

 
57225/17/2012 9:30:04 PMSlingShotBianchi, I hope you appreciate the fact I never complained until your little stint on that hill near the end which cost me 422 watts for 22 seconds... and really, it was only the 10 seconds of 468 near the top which prompted my comment.

Or maybe it was my peaking over 525 and staying there longer than I prefer even closer to the top.

Anyway, I hope you appreciate it.

 Shutup, SlingShot.

Bianchi doesn't give a shit about your chirping little nonsenses.

 
57215/16/2012 3:02:32 PMSaddlebags JR.My delicate little calfs are sore from running, if you would like to ride some time next week I am available for that.

I just wanted to stop by and pester you, if that is still an option. Perhaps tomorrow would be better because my know-nothing dad said it would not rain tomorrow.

 3:14 p.m.: Come on over and bring your guitar.

 
57205/16/2012 1:19:48 PMSaddlebags JR.This is saddlebags' loser son. it is 1:16 p.m. on Wed. May 16th and I am wondering when I can come see your loser ass.

I made a weak ass attempt last week, but you were not in the art shack.

I will bring coffee and a poor attitude.

This message will self destruct apon reading.

Due to the fact that yours truly cannot remember the correct usage between apon and upon.

 Is this for a ride? Anytime.

It is now 2:29 p.m. of the same day, and I just finished putting together this (along with paste up for a post card mailing, adding a dozen images to Mary's website, and three copy edits to one of my ongoing book)... which explains my late reply. >>>

EXTRA
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56945/10/2012 8:23:10 PMARC
Staff
THIS JUST IN

Keith is a sadistic bastard.

 That's what I've heard.

I bet if Tom Folkl wasn't disallowed from saying such shit, even he would say that.

 
56935/8/2012 8:50:59 AMARC
Staff
Should we send a formal letter to Saddlebags and his loser son that they are on academic probation for not completing their homework assignment?

 Don't bother, they were warned.

 
56904/27/2012 6:00:17 PMARC
Staff
For all you people hoping to get ready for the summer rides, here is a no-nonsense quick warmup video. >>>

EXTRA
LINK...
Yep, high-performing collegiate athletes get things presented to them no bullshit quick and certain.

 
56894/26/2012 9:58:32 PMDavid Parrillo JrDAMMM!! LOL!

I had no idea there was a cycling club out there.

It looks great with plenty of categories.

Normally I start riding everyday at about 6:30 and go full gas as hard as I can north towards Bedford and NW CT—until I'm pooped—then I ride home easy.

But now I'll get in touch with OCBC to mix it up a bit during the week and actually meet other riders.

Again, I really do appreciate this.

Thanks again

 The best part about all the categories, is that each and every one of them can be beaten.

The other good part is that all the rides are on public roads, so you don't even have to be a member to beat them.

My apologies to the local loser club for directing another person toward it who will prove (once again) their loserhood.

 
56884/26/2012 10:45:46 AMDavid Parrillo JrMy name is David and I live here in Scarsdale NY—fairly new to cycling.

I absolutely love the Cycling Performance Simplified book.

It has answered so many of my questions!!

Thanks for putting it out there.

David

 And if you think the book was good, Scarsdale just happens to be within 1 hour of the best rides on earth.

Here's a link to the Orange County Bicycle Club website which has weekly rides over the best courses known to humankind: link.

Although most of their rides are less than an hour from you, I took the liberty of Google mapping directions to the closest most regular one.

The ride loops through Harriman State Park and includes the renowned Harriman "Race Course."

Here is a little more info.

 
56754/5/2012 8:28:03 PMAnn
Kshius
What's new?

 Time Trials in Florida alternate Wednesdays. >>>EXTRA
LINK...
56734/4/2012 12:41:15 AMARC
Staff
Your photos in no particular order. >>>

If anybody needs some with better resolution for whatever, just ask.

EXTRA
LINK...
I'll write the story later. Got caught up tilting at windmills. 
56714/3/2012 10:26:36 PMA.
Stoot
That Dr. Larry who made this happen, what's he look like?

 Like this. >>>

EXTRA
LINK...
56704/3/2012 10:15:17 PMOld BarfThanks for the link for Anthony Fatuzzo's racing results.

I was happy to see that he is young enough to be my kid.

I was even happier when I realized that I finally beat my real kid's time.

Now that is a personal record that will stand until the next six semesters are paid for.

Now if I could only recover enough to avail myself of the now open ice cream stand....

 "What do you say to something like that? A little piece of advice. You see an ice cream stand, you do what we do. Run. Run your ass off."

By the way, nobody said you can't be Sissy Boy, just that there's a history.

 
56684/3/2012 3:26:45 PMMadone
Chapman
Curious how many photos were taken at this event... wondering if any will be posted?

 We've got a bunch, and I'm sorting through them right now while I'm working on the story.

Here's one to tide you over. >>>

EXTRA
LINK...
56674/3/2012 11:17:34 AMCaz
Listener
That Anthony Fatuzzo guy who just took ownership of the Kain Cup while setting a new World Record... he ever do anything else?

 First (1st) in the 2012 New York City Spring Bicycle Racing Series among other things. >>>EXTRA
LINK...
56644/2/2012 1:14:55 PMArt DonohueAt first glance I was not altogether impressed with the 5:11.66, but it was later explained to me that the "5" in the units column is actually minutes, not hours.

Had it been hours, as I had originally thought, I was celebrating the notion that I had in fact beaten that time myself.

Now I'm basically depressed, because I genuinely think I will have a tough time surpassing the 5:11.66 in my minivan.

 Just hit eBay for some carbon lug nuts, and you should do fine.

 
56634/1/2012 6:21:50 PMCuryousI know the photos of today's Kain aren't posted yet, but somebody sent me this one.

This guy sure is in great shape... looks familiar too.

How does somebody get in shape like this? >>>

EXTRA
LINK...
The first rule of Kain Club is: You do not talk about Kain Club. >>>EXTRA
LINK...
56624/1/2012 4:48:39 PMA.
Ghast
RE: NEW KAIN WORLD RECORD

Some fucking Crit.

 You could say that.

 
56614/1/2012 4:46:35 PMTurtle
Boy
RE: NEW KAIN WORLD RECORD

I heard in the division for Number of Loops in Two Hours there was a two way tie with 7 loops each.

 You heard right.

The loop was down 17A from the ice cream stand then across Iron Forge and back up Kain.

Hell, two of the women did three loops.

Mommy!

 
56604/1/2012 4:22:32 PMARC
Staff
NEW KAIN WORLD RECORD

Anthony Fatuzzo today posted a new Kain World Record with a time of 05:11.66.

His time beat the previous record by 29.13 seconds, which any Kain aficionado will attest is an astounding margin.

The previous record (set by Joe Straub) remained unchallenged for almost three years—specifically: 914 days.

Everybody knows the Kain Cup World Record is unique in cycling sport, because competition rules allow it to be challenged any day of week 365 days (or nights) a year with only the stipulation that it be timed by an American Road Cycling Official.

Basically a rider just had to call SlingShot and say, "I'm goin' over to Kain. Come time me."

Therefore the first World Record (set by Crackhead Ryan) staved off Straub's offense for at least a whopping 76 competition dates, and Straub's record subsequently withstood an unbelievable 914 possible challenges.

Most records require a year or more between challenges, so they easily stand the test of time, but the rules for the Kain World Record assure it remains one of the hardest benchmarks to command and easiest position to lose in the entire bicycling industry.

However, given the extreme effort required to achieve this newest record, we expect the Anthony Fatuzzo time will survive a long, long time indeed.

 Dingers.

I finally got the cap off the bottle far enough to pop in another Genie.

So the Cup is lost to New Jersey, and Dr. Larry is now in charge of Kain.

Larry says today will be remembered as the First Annual Pain of Kain Benefit.

He has already scheduled ice cream for April 7, 2013.

That event (to coincide with the spring opening of Bellvale Creamery) will be the same as this year's and benefit Hole in the Wall Gang Camp

I am now retired with only a photo essay to complete.

Coming soon PICTURES.

 
56594/1/2012 4:18:19 PMSissy BoyThanks for the excuse for self abuse today. Ryan and I really thought it was an April Fools joke. We never would have accused you of doing something nice. Don't worry, we won't tell anyone. I can't wait to see the final results so I know quantifiably just how unworthy I am.

 Actually, I had nothing to do with it, outside of agreeing it could count toward the Cup, and as it turned out the World Record.

It was all put together by: Dr. Larry.

Sorry I missed seeing your post while I was filling in results and just found it today, 04/03/12.

I would have mentioned we know another Sissy Boy who used to be a big part of OCBC.

Otherwise, I time shifted all the Kain stuff past the CPS question from Colorado, so you should find this response.

The leader board has been updated with enough actual riders that I could delete all the ones I made up, but we are still waiting to find out what a few of Larry's friends did.

I did the timing for Anthony Fatuzzo's World Record myself:

You will notice that Tom Folkl is still below you on the Leader Board, and that is even more significant due to the fact he was there on the 1st but refused to try and redeem his DNF... along with another half dozen local riders.

You are therefore authorized to give him as much grief as you would like on rides while telling everybody who says something about how fast he is, "Oh yeah, what's his Kain time?"

 
56584/2/2012 7:04:57 PMBoy
Yure
Was that guy serious?

 No idea, but the IP was Colorado.

Maybe not even a guy.

 
56574/2/2012 4:11:33 PMClinton Smith
Colorado
I was wondering if you have a consistent way (or know where to find one on the Web) of determining the relative effort required for a given ride/route.

I live in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains … each ride I do has a variety of climbs to it and of course distances vary as well.

But at the end of the day, if we assume that a rider/conditions stays the same (same weight, same posture, same wind speed, same bike) AND maintains a steady speed for the entire route, then there has to be a way to calculate the relative difficulty of the ride.

I don’t have a speedometer or a power meter, so this is just a way to rank my regular routes in terms of order of relative difficulty.

What I’m interested in is how the % incline of a climb impacts the difficulty of the ride.

Thus, a 2% incline is one that you can arguably go “easy” on, but a 11% incline will always be difficult – it doesn’t seem possible to go “easy” at that pitch.

But that’s only for one climb … over the course of a ride, there are many climbs each with a different length/pitch.

So I want to be able to rank my rides overall for their degree of “effort” required to complete the route.

My challenge is that some will argue, “just use a power meter”.

But with a power meter, you can just reduce your speed as the climb gets steeper and thus maintain a constant power output.

However, the climbs I sometimes do approach 15%+ and thus continually reducing speed to maintain a certain power goal just isn’t possible – you’ll fall over!

Thus, at times, you must produce a higher power output just to stay upright.

Thank you, CS

 First be sure to review: Torque

Even if you did this comparison with a Power Meter and considered only the Watts, you would still not get an accurate result with regard to your effort.

Watts are variable against your effort (Torque) much the same way as your speed is variable against slope and wind.

This disparity has caused much confusion among riders, partly because only Powertap gives a separate number for Torque, so people don't have easy access to how the two numbers interact.

Without using a power meter, you can get a rough comparison of your rides using my Watts Required for a Climb Calculator and compiling expected Power requirements (per your weight) totaled from segmented sections of each ride.

A more accurate comparison would be derived by notating the average cadence you can maintain in specific gears for each section.

In fact, using averaged cadence is as good or better than a power meter for precision training where you want to track "how strong are you" and are your workouts "making you stronger."

In any case as the saying goes, "You can never step in the same river twice."

Just in case you need a slope calculator you can use: this.

 
56493/31/2012 12:57:48 PMAl
Kater
I hear there's going to be an extreme fitness exhibition by some clown doing Kain loops for two hours.

 Won't be dressed like a clown... more so than any other rider.

 
56483/31/2012 12:31:15 PMTurle
Boy
Bring your damn Cup and a $5 bill.

 Ok.

 
56473/31/2012 12:24:37 PMARC
Staff
Dr. Larry was just in and talked to Widder.

She explained that all the racers are at Bethel tomorrow, and Larry stressed his Kain Assault Event benefitting Hole in the Wall Gang Camp will be low key.

Bodes well for somebody who otherwise wouldn't have a fucking Turtle Boy's chance in hell of grabbing the Cup to take it away from Joe Straub plus get their $5 suggested donation returned to them.

 Guess I better show up on Kain at 10:00 am tomorrow.

I'll bring my car to quasi-SAG, helping time anybody who forgets to bring their own watch.

Great opportunity for some piss-ant to come lie about their time and steal the Cup.

Current time to beat is 9 min 22 sec.

Hope I don't run into another situation like New Years eve. >>>

EXTRA
LINK...
56453/29/2012 6:20:07 PMTurtle
Boy
So I could make $5.00 just for winning the Cup?

I can't believe you actually put a bounty on kicking New Jersey's ass.

That makes it a Pro event.

 Yep, it is more money than you earned your entire cycling career.

 
56443/29/2012 3:03:26 PMDr. LarryWe are on for Sunday.

It will be low-key but ice cream for all starting at 10 am.

Hope you will come ride or watch/cheer for a great cause: Paul Newman's Hole in the Wall Gang Camp.

$5 suggested donation

Ice cream is on me, and a chance to help kids go to camp who would otherwise not have a chance.

Best Larry

Any questions: 201-888-4946

 So there you have it.

Not an ARC event, but the Cup is at stake.

Anybody who gives a shit about keeping the Kain Cup in New York better show up on Kain around 10 am this Sunday.

I would bet Dr. Larry will be bringing his own ringer to make sure those New Jersey losers make you all look like a pack of dufuses.

I would go grab it myself, but I'm working through an injury.

In any case, if one of you "strong" riders doesn't have the fucking $5, ARC will spot you the entrance suggestion... if you win the Cup for New York.

It's not our event, but it would be nice to see the Cup stay local.

 
56403/25/2012 1:13:05 PMCuryousSo what's happening with that April, 1st event?

 Like I said, we've got nothing to do with it.

All's we did was send in our $100 donation and are now settled back waiting to see what happens.

Maybe Dr. Larry will do a better job than I did at getting people interested in the climb.

We did agree to let results count toward the Cup, so best case scenario, somebody in New Jersey will take ownership of the Cup, and it will finally be somebody else's problem.

We have no extradition agreement with New Jersey, so gone will be gone.

In any case, we did get this, so it has all been totally worth doing. >>>

EXTRA
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56353/18/2012 2:05:24 PMMaxwell
Yanof
Love CPS - thanks!

Finally, salient info presented in an accessible manner (narrative "sweet-spot") with no shortage of humor.

Maxwell

 And with that I am retiring from writing, because no result of my writing could ever be better than my receipt of these kind perfectly penned words.

TEAM TACTICS BONUS

For the local "team," here's a link to an article about team tactics (scroll down to Tactics Recap) that was bylined to Maxwell Yanof whose IP and email would imply this is he who took the time to write thanks.

EXTRA
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56333/7/2012 11:25:16 PMA.
Stoot
I've watched about half of it so far, so what's it all mean?

 For one thing, now that I realize I can watch full length movies (for FREE) on my iPod, I know I will never have to watch another single second of bullshit TV political coverage ever again.

 
56323/7/2012 11:21:10 PMArmy
Geddon
Ok, I see the technology, but where is this all leading?

 Here's a 1½ hour online movie that will explain while giving you a chance to practice using the pause button on your smart phone's browser.

I'm pretty sure I'm the last to see this. >>>

EXTRA
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56313/5/2012 8:10:43 PMPalletmanAll this science I don't understand.

 Here, let Sylvia explain it. >>>EXTRA
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56303/4/2012 7:25:22 PMBox
Orifice
How's that power meter spec search going?

 Still finding nothing but snake-oil with the available products.

I've linked a video which might illustrate my frustration with lack of info, and the illusion that these products are based on such arcane knowledge the underlying facts must be hidden from buyers.

At right is linked a little video of a guy putting together a pressure sensor almost the same thing as a power meter.

You will notice that within the first few seconds he states the accuracy.

You may also notice that while the whole thing is "Open Source" (freely distributed full information about how, what, why and where), the first thing everybody asks about is where they can "buy" one.

It has always been one of my pet peeves that somebody with an idea thinks they have to "PROTECT" it (as if the Chinese can't reverse engineer any idea in a matter of moments anyway), but if something is actually "BEING DONE" one is free to run their mouth about it detailing the entire process, and people will still be willing to pay for a finished product... given it works.

This is just a snippet of somebody ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING. >>>

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56293/2/2012 10:00:45 PMPalletmanThat is rich!

Chat #5625 little cycling robot to replace SlingShot.

I love it!

 Oh, you find that amusing do you, Palletman.

EXTRA
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56282/29/2012 9:06:09 PMWheezerHoly craptasticon!

Apparently the only thing that can't be done with it is sell sports drinks and beer!

 I would say that is the main problem.

 
56272/29/2012 8:59:03 PMSlingShotPeriodically I search for new power meter technology in the hopes somebody will get around to doing it correctly.

I found mention of Garmin's new Vector power meter using pedal spline deflection.

That is the perfect place for the measurement... if done correctly.

Unfortunately the Garmin product is still in full snake-oil mode as glossy videos abound but no actual specs.

By the way, it is insanely easy to provide easily readable specs.

Just a simple listing of:

1) samples this fast
2) is this accurate.
On the other hand, all reviewers merely parrot the party line (handed to them in easy copy/paste form) which SOUNDS good but is more or less meaningless.

If I had found any actual information about the product, and it looked good, I would have already tendered my credit card.

 You are absolutely correct, SlingShot.

Here is a video I found which illustrates how far behind the rest of the universe the world of cycling is.

You will notice starting around 41 seconds into this video strain sensors are shown that can read position plus total weight in less than 1 milliscond.

Now that is a strain gauge a cyclist might find useful.

Look all the things you can do with it in real-time in the real-world. >>>

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56262/29/2012 12:00:01 AMSlingShotIf I start writing, I'll just get hungry and eat, so here's the cop-out (no pun on donuts implied).

On the other hand, the linked video is so good, the guy who did it must be as fat as a Portuguese.

However, what is really surprising is how none of the comments say this couldn't possibly be true, that it is all nonsense in the real world, and that watts have nothing to do with speed, while torque is just a number. >>>

EXTRA
LINK...
Still seems a bit too much writing to not make you hungry.

 
56252/24/2012 8:43:12 PMGaim
Chainjer
Soon as the guy teaches it to say motherfucker, we can be done with SlingShot.

EXTRA
LINK...
Plus a slight change of hand position at the end for the American Road Cycling one finger salute.

 
56242/19/2012 4:18:28 PMTrump-bertoI bought another house.

 Yeh, yeh, houses are easy.

Landscapers are hard.

 
56232/19/2012 8:15:49 AMARC
Staff
Our records show you missed commenting on Dan's last submittal.

 Sometimes my filters actually work correctly.

 
56222/19/2012 8:07:29 AMPalletmanFrom: Dan McNeilly
Date: February 19, 2012 7:20:39 EST
To: "Bob
Subject: Food for thought as you prepare to watch "Meet the Press"

New Word: Ineptocracy

Could not find it in my old Webster's. Googled it and discovered it is a recently "coined" new word found on a T-shirt on eBay.

Getting really close to the bone!

Read this one over slowly and absorb the facts that are fully revealed and totally within this one sentence!

Ineptocracy : (in-ep-toc'-ra-cy) - a system of government where the least capable to lead are elected by the least capable of producing, and where the members of society least likely to sustain themselves or succeed, are rewarded with goods and services paid for by the confiscated wealth of a diminishing number of producers.

I love this word and believe that it will become a recognized English word.

Finally, a word to describe our current political situation.

Palletworld

 Cmon, Dan, lighten up on yourself.

Just because you exist on pallet-making farm subsidies doesn't mean you are a total loser.

That status is conferred by your association with that racing team.

 
56202/18/2012 1:38:31 PMShug
Jester
Maybe a photo on that page would help... better than a bunch of words, don't ya know?

 Got it. >>>

EXTRA
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56192/18/2012 9:12:00 AMCuryousSo what, that person couldn't find any information about Bob Fugett?

Don't they have access to Google, Amazon, iTunes, the Internet, or cycling industry insider information and rumor?

 Guess not. 
56182/15/2012 5:59:08 PMSlingShotIn my continuing quest to get a handle on why there is such a steady strong flow of people reading the book and using the online calculator, I did a google search today for links to the website.

I was pretty impressed about the number of people on the cycling forums who don't even bother to answer questions while merely posting a link to the appropriate chapter in Cycling Performance Simplified.

Then I found this question to a quasi trainer:

"Hi. I know it is a busy time of the year, but if you get the time, I would like your opinion of this article:

stretch

Just in case it doesn't open, it advises never, never, stretch. He makes a good case but goes against everything I have been taught since running the mile in high school. ??? Everybody has an opinion?

The answer was given thus:

Oh, I've had my moments over the past couple of weeks - hence, the lack of posts - but I had to look this up for you.

One of the main points driven home during my training was, "Know the background of the so-called experts writing all of those articles you find all over the internet." I looked up Bob Fugett and the best I can come up with is that he used to write articles for a cycling group... sound familiar?

Having said that, let's dissect what he's saying. The idea behind stretching is to increase blood flow to muscles and lubricate joints which eliminates waste and decreases muscle soreness. Current research says that the best time to stretch is immediately after a workout when the muscles are fatigued, holding a stretch for 20 - 30 seconds and prior to a work out, only do light stretching if at all. That means that it's entirely possible to over-stretch a muscle or tear a ligament, especially if you approach it in "attacking, over-achiever" mode which can often happen after a high-intensity workout. If you reach a point in a stretch where the muscle is in full extension and feels relaxed, there is no need to pull past that.

From my own experience - and from the advice given to me by those who work as specialists in deep tissue massage therapy, as physical therapists, and as Kinesis Myofascial Integration (KMI) specialists - don't give up stretching. The people who refuse to stretch are the ones in their offices, paying $50 - $120 per session.

You seem to be hitting the books pretty hard! Let me recommend one here. I started reading this before I started my PFT training and as I am close to finishing it now, I can say that I am comfortable with everything in there as a common-sense approach to the answers we're looking for. It reads dry but it reads complete.

It's "Faster, Better, Stronger"by Dr. Massimo Testa and one of my all-time favorite cyclists, Dr. Eric Heiden. You can reach it through that link at Amazon and find a used copy for about $10.00 including shipping.

Happy Holidays!

I was a little shocked the answer came via somebody who couldn't find out about me online (probably the only person who hasn't found one of the thousands of ways to talk to me directly), and somewhat dismayed the "dissection" did not dissect, nor was any information provided regarding just what stuff the person questioning had been taught erroneously in high school, plus nothing about how the content of the chapter in question is not anything about an "opinion" but is just simple facts.

However, otherwise the answer was absolutely correct and at the time of their writing it I had not yet added the "About the Author" chapter (which would have cleared up a lot for them), so I tracked down the responder's e-mail address and sent them this:

Hi Edie : )

I wanted to take a moment to thank you for catching the ball when somebody took one of my inflammatory tag headings for the point of a chapter in my book. [Roy and Christine, 12/02/11, at: Elicit Substance, re: Cycling Performance Simplified]

The advice you gave them was perfect.

I ran across your helpful comments while trolling the net looking for insight into why so many people are reading the book and using the online calculators.

In any case, after you saw it I added an "About the Author" chapter which should help others who are asked to comment on it.

Thanks again for the help.

Bob Fugett

 You do realize your note likely fell straight into the black hole of undeliverable email, don't you?

 
56162/7/2012 7:47:16 PMFG 2.0...that didn't turn out the way I wanted...must be this site...couldn't possibly have been MY fault...

 Sorry about our American Road Cycling auto-spell checker and the ASS-ault thing.

One time I put in, "Hi Frank : )" and it came out "KISS MY ASS YOU MOTHERFUCKING DOUCHERAG!"

Technology.

 
56152/7/2012 7:44:13 PMFG 2.0Kain ASS-ault...April 1st...something's fishy...

EXTRA
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Smells odd to me too.

Only thing we did was send in a $100 check, but Mary fucked up and made it out to Paul Newmans Hole in the Wall Gang Camp, even though I told her to make it for cash, so the guy could use it to buy a millenium's worth of ice cream for ALL the people probably willing to put their bikes on Kain over that time.

He thanked us anyway.

Here is Dr. Larry's email address for details again:

dolphdoc@aol.com

Go ask him what the fuck is up.

I didn't find it anywhere on his website.

 
56132/7/2012 5:33:33 PMP.
Dohf
I can't fucking believe it.

Nothing but wall to wall Stupid Bowl coverage.

The morons are even interviewing kids as if skipping school to show up for a bullshit parade is acceptable.

They even interviewed a dumbass teacher who had skipped school.

To top it off, the only thing they showed of science fair winners (people who are actually going to make a difference) at the White House is Obama congratulating the drugged up steroid engorged jocks.

Not to mention that insipid "I got a ring" hypno-chanting.

Idiots.

 Show a little understanding.

Such pomp and circumstantial display is required to keep people in touch with their true feelings in case their group think skills are needed for supporting the next war.

Plus that teacher probably took a cue from Ryan that time he cancelled the high-school music recitals in order for kids to stay home and watch American Idol.

As for the brandishing of the trophy and the "I got a ring" chanting, you have to know where it is coming from.

Not one of those guys could ever come close to grabbing the Kain Cup nor even a Baseline Kain Medal. Not their fault they will never be competitive in actual athletics. They have to get what they can.

 
56122/3/2012 8:00:05 PMWinn
Tress
I heard Widder's starting to get her strength back.

 Somewhat.

Fucking Twin Lynn had to mention she's doing curls in the gym, with how much weight, and how many sets of how many reps.

Fuck Lynn. >>>

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56111/31/2012 10:52:44 PMDobroCheeky little monkey.

 Enough.

 
56101/31/2012 10:23:20 PMFurston
Thymer
I'm new to this site, but I like to read all the old stuff.

My favorite is that Cranky person.

Who is that guy?

 Ok, just for you, the true Cranky revealed. >>>EXTRA
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56081/29/2012 6:03:19 PMAl
Kater
Hasn't that exercise guru Grogin guy got the word yet: nobody has fun on Kain.

 Apparently not.

 
56071/29/2012 5:58:19 PMAtlas
Shrugin
$100.00?

It seems to me you American Road Cycling types will do just about anything in hopes somebody is going to beat Joe Straub.

 Whatever it takes.

 
56061/29/2012 5:10:28 PMLarry GroginRegarding the April 1 bike climb on Kain: We are going to raise some money for Paul Newmans Hole in the Wall Gang Camp in Connecticut and hope to have some fun on Kain as well!

Aside from bragging rights we have 3 nice Hole in the Wall Bike Jerseys as prizes and will hopefully get the cooperation of the ice cream shop to treat us to some ice cream as well.

Prizes for:

1) Fastest time
2) Most amount of laps in 2 hours
3) Most generous donation for the day

Suggested donation of $5 but more or less is ok also.

Please spread the word and train hard!

 Fuck spreading the word and training hard!

We'll just donate a hundred bucks instead.

Check is in the mail. (No, really. It is in the mail.)

Give it to the damn ice cream shop if you want.

That should cover ice cream for everybody that shows up for the climb the next 100 years.

BTW: Our lawyers are making us include the following: American Road Cycling and its principals, friends, and neighbors have nothing to do with this event whatsoever (hear that residents of Kain?) and is only donating $100.00 to sever ourselves from all responsibilities and liabilities (as always) and suggests everybody else does the same. Actually, individuals would be well advised to donate even more in order to more decidedly sever.

 

 
56051/29/2012 3:17:48 PMArmy
Gettum
Give me more details on that Kain race.

 Here's all we got. >>>EXTRA
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56041/29/2012 3:10:02 PMAnn
Kshius
Sounds like Ryan is chomping at the bit to get next to Joe Straub on that hill... mano a mano!

 That it does.

 
56031/29/2012 3:06:47 PMRyanWhat does "road closed" mean? Is that when it's going to be paved and we can't ride, or does that mean it's open season for a Kain head-to-head race?

 Like I would know.

I'm just lucky to have been told.

 
56021/29/2012 2:03:42 PMARC
Staff
Dr. Larry was just in and said he's planning a race up Kain for April 1st.

He said the road will be shut down for 2 hours 10-12 am and it is also the day the ice cream shop opens.

Sounds pretty exciting.

EXTRA
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Sure does.

Although it won't be an American Road Cycling event (per se, though one might expect it given the date), times for the race will count toward the Kain Cup and Kain Assault World Record.

I'm guessing Joe Straub has just turned off his computer and jumped on his bike.

Here is Dr. Larry's email address for details:

dolphdoc@aol.com

 
56011/29/2012 9:07:33 AMARC
Staff
Yesterday somebody did a great job of stepping through the help files and explanation of the KeyTap Project Manager.

 Cool.

 
56001/26/2012 8:50:05 PMEar
Tefour
Any rides coming up?

 These. >>>EXTRA
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55991/26/2012 6:32:02 PMTurtle
Boy
Oh.

 Indeed.

 
55981/26/2012 12:29:39 PMTurtle
Boy
Who is Joe riding for now ?

What a fucking traitor !!!!!!!

 In point of fact, one would have to know specifically who Joe is riding for before calling him a traitor.

Unfortunately he was wearing more logos than a NASCAR sideshow, so we couldn't tell.

 
55971/26/2012 12:28:02 PMArmy
Gettum
Looks like he's taunting you.

 Fuck him.

 
55961/25/2012 7:13:40 PMAunt
Zee
I saw Joe Straub out with Andreas on their daily 50 mile ride over Mt. Peter and back again.

I bet Joe's getting ready to do a quick early season climb to make sure nobody gets a chance at the Kain Cup rest of the year.

 I think I talked him out of it. >>>

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55951/22/2012 11:27:52 AMGamusinoIf that shithead Humberto shreds my newpaper with his fucking snow blower again, I'll disappear his ass.

May as well of hired Stinkature Psych-holes to do the job.

 Humberto, turn up your webfilter levelistration settings to stop this Gamusino guy from posting here.

It's the brown knob to the right of the blue IP protocol.

 
55941/22/2012 11:23:40 AMPrestaNatorI put in my two numbers and found out I would have beaten Joe if he wasn't so fucking fit!

 We would all beat Joe if he wasn't so fucking fit.

 
55931/22/2012 11:05:34 AMArmy
Gedttum
What's this I hear about Glenn Babikian actually did beat Joe Straub on Kain?

 I was reviewing links in the book and found a Power while Climbing Calculator had been removed from the web, so thought I'd better make my own.

After researching formulas I had to test against know rides and of course chose Kain.

Once I had everything in the spreadsheet, I noticed calculations show that Glenn actually beat Joe's Watts for the climb.

That is to say, if they were in the gym on a leg press machine, Glenn would be kicking Joe's ass all day long.

Now that I've got the calculator done, you can ballpark your own Watts on Kain even if you don't have a power meter.

The calculator uses Kain as the default elevation (546 ft), so you only have to add your weight and time. >>>

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55921/21/2012 9:55:13 AMChip
Sholder
So, SlingShot, turns out you're as cowed by the man as the rest of those losers.

 I'm just sayin'.

Here's how I approach the matter. >>>

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55911/21/2012 9:45:21 AMCaz
Listener
I don't get it.

I thought it was called the Kain Cup, so why's everybody calling it Straub's Cup?

 Officially it is the Kain Cup and reads that way on the trophy itself.

But as a practical matter... well, you know.

 
55901/20/2012 8:56:45 AMGT/FTI did not mean my comment to sound the least bit sarcastic. I respect Joe's accomplishments and have nothing but the greatest admiration for them. The same homage was used to describe Jackie Gleason and Wayne Gretzky. That's how I meant it, though neither of those guys ever did Kain.

 Too late to cover it now.

That ass has left the stable.

 
55891/19/2012 11:31:03 PMFTWell, even the "GREAT ONE" shouldn't get a free ride all year, should he?

 I do believe that I detect the ever so subtle slightest hint of a sarcastic tone.

Like Ari Fleischer warned, "You should be careful what you say, and careful what you do," because that snide smiling jackass has a reputation for retributive behavior.

In fact I know at least a half dozen riders who could beat Greg Tsoucalas' Kain baseline with no trouble whatsoever, but they are scared shitless of getting on Straub-bag's bad side.

I'm not sure how he does it, but he is a master at keeping the pussifed fringe on their best behavior.

I mean, Glenn Babikian could run over there tomorrow, run up Kain at half speed, and take the motherfucker's smarty ass little golden chalice, but Glen knows better.

If I wasn't an employee or family member of American Road Cycling (so disqualified), I would do it myself, or send the Widder over to do it (if she wasn't also an employee or family member).

The whole of last year was almost over before Joe got tired of waiting for somebody to take that fucking Cup away from Ryan and went over and grabbed it himself.

So he just maybe might get a free ride all year.

I mean who's to say no?

 
55881/19/2012 8:18:47 PMGTRe the flattering photo link and caption you provided, let me say that I will double that offer for the first rider who beats my Kain time by less than 30 seconds!

 Obviously you are anxious to get your hands on Straub's Cup.

Personally, I wouldn't touch it with Widder's finger.

 
55871/19/2012 4:49:55 PMCuryousWhy on earth would Bert be looking up "frog"?

 Probably wondered why the blade guide on a hand planer is called that.

 
55861/19/2012 4:15:04 PMBert
Rant
Yesterday, I fucked up and left the televsion on but found something interesting.

While fumbling with the clicker to turn it off, I was hitting the channel changer instead and noticed every channel was running newscasts about how Wikipedia (and much of the Internet) was shut down protesting some legislation or something.

While I was looking straight at one of the announcers holding a picture of Wikipedia's black screen, I realized I was at the same time looking up the word "frog" on Wikipedia—successfully, not shut down at all, had to proactively hit a link on the home page to see the black screen!

I started laughing, "I get it! Everybody made a big deal about "shutting down the Internet" just to show how easy it is to get those newscaster wanks to read anything at all, and convincingly like they know what the fuck they are talking about.

That was some hilarious spoof.

 Yeah, I noticed the same thing.

Apparently Ted Baxter (from Mary Tyler Moore Show) wasn't so much a character as a documentary example of requirements to be a newscaster.

In real news, however, today Widder and I ran across something truly newsworthy.

We were on our way to get a closer measurement of our 4 mile Goosepond loop (now that we are under an 8 minute mile), and we saw a cyclist going the wrong way on the wrong side of the road across from the Chester Town Hall.

Mary said, "Looks like somebody's in trouble. Better stop."

As we got closer we realized it was Fucktard so almost certain trouble.

You may remember Mary met Fucktard for the first time at almost the same spot when he was walking his flatted bike—having failed to bring both tubes and tools.

We pulled the car over and waited.

When Fucktard got up to us we found out he had only spied a discount coupon on the side of the road (like roadkill) and turned back to pick it up.

So no trouble, but still a Fucktard. >>>

EXTRA
LINK...
55851/18/2012 7:05:28 PMFG 2.0Hey! Whaddya think this is...the internets?

Nice job on the pup, BTW...I think he misses Brat...

 I regret to inform you, but those words and punctuation marks you are using come out of a dictionary, therefore pursuant to recent legislation I must charge you per character.

 
55841/18/2012 12:26:52 PM
 Motherfucker

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

IF YOU THINK
YOUR
GOVERNMENT IS
EVER GOING TO
HELP YOU...

YOU'RE AN IDIOT.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

IF YOU THINK
YOUR
GOVERNMENT IS
STANDING IN
YOUR WAY...

YOU'RE AN EVEN BIGGER IDIOT.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
55831/17/2012 9:22:52 PMSlamMenWhat's this?

01/17
   3'(  7.71n;86c;30.35fx)234w22.66m
01/15
 35"(10.64n;95c;30.36fx)323w22.64m

 

 Just what I've been talking about but probably should add:

141/146

147/155

 

 
55821/15/2012 11:43:27 PMSkep
Dick
Aren't there other variables?

 Yes, but Watts are rather self contained, and Torque significantly more so.

I have looked at lots of data, and this relationship is solid.

 
55811/15/2012 11:24:06 PMA.
Stoot
Your performance is obviously a lot rougher.

 My point as well.

The fx rolls it all up into a single comparison.

 
55801/15/2012 11:01:04 PMWatt
Cher
I read that Torque article about how higher cadence is easier but more powerful and faster.

Prove it.

EXTRA
LINK...
Here's a quick glance for proof positive.

The link above will let you roll-over to compare, but if your browser doesn't support that you can view separately from the links left and right.

Put them in tabs for toggling.

Today I did some 300 Watt Intervals to test and confirm... again.

I abstracted a 31 sec section from my last Interval to compare to the Front Rider from the Hump in the chapter on Torque.

You will note that I am pushing harder, but they are going faster with more watts.

Here's the breakdown mine to theirs.

Newtons
10.66 / 10.42

Watts
325 / 465

Mph
22.79 / 29.57

Cadence
95 / 100

fx
30.49 / 44.62

Higher Cadence =
More Power for less effort

Need I say more?

EXTRA
LINK...
55791/15/2012 10:53:24 PMturtle boyoh !

 my !

 
55781/14/2012 5:20:06 PMDizzy
Pointer
Not nearly funny enough!

 Ok.EXTRA
LINK...
55771/14/2012 3:41:32 PMBert
Rant
THOSE LAST TWO WEREN'T EVEN FUNNY!!!

 Ok, here's a video.

EXTRA
LINK...
55761/14/2012 3:40:23 PMWatt
Naught
Hey, I was just riding with that FG 2.0 guy, and he's got nothin'!

 Not true.

He's got this. >>>

EXTRA
LINK...
55751/14/2012 3:24:58 PMCuryousSomebody said Humberto was down in Florida for spring training.

 Yup. >>>EXTRA
LINK...
55741/14/2012 7:38:09 AMA.
Stoot
After your weeklong stint of intense editing that chapter on Torque, I read it again.

Holy motherfucking shit, SlingShot!

You should fucking charge people to read that!

EXTRA
LINK...
I should. 
55731/12/2012 8:36:07 AMTwin
Lynn
Ditto. Thanks.

 You're welcome.

 
55721/12/2012 8:35:02 AMTurtle
Boy
Thank you staff and SlingShot.

 Nothin' to it.

 
55711/12/2012 8:15:11 AMARC
Staff
We have identified the problem.

Everybody in the world needs to send two (2) emails for us.

One requesting for the upteenth bajillionth time that Dan McNeilly please remove SlingShot from his government subsidized email list.

That one should go to:

dan@mcneillywoodproducts.com

Another email should be a request for Mary Beth Hendeson of IBM to learn never, ever, never press "Reply All," and she should pass that information on to her co-workers at IBM.

That mail should go to:

marybe10@yahoo.com

 I have to tell you Staff, this really isn't the fault of Mary Beth Henderson of IBM - marybe10@yahoo.com

Everybody knows that even before Bill Gates screwed IBM out of a career, they were only hiring functional retards.

And in the time since, the only thing IBM has ever accomplished is putting up parlor trick supposed "super computers" on fake television reality shows.

Mary Beth Henderson (marybe10@yahoo.com) is just one of their left over doorstops who never learned the basics of Internet protocol but can't get fired from her job, because she never really had one.

IBM continues to have a problem with their branding, and Mary Beth Henderson (marybe10@yahoo.com), along with this kind of bad form she exhibited, is merely a couple of the main reasons for that.

She knows not what she does for as the saying goes, "If you're not part of the solution, you must be working for IBM."

I already had to block email from dan@mcneillywoodproducts.com, years ago.

And now, marybe10@yahoo.com is blocked.

Please don't ask people to email these losers.

Losers enjoy getting worthless emails.

 
55701/12/2012 2:14:49 AMHowe
Dragious
I just got spammed by one of those fucking local bike club mailing lists, and when I sent a "respond to all: get me the fuck off this list", it turned out at least two of the addresses on it were already discontinued or full.

 Imbeciles. For heaven's sake, don't ever respond to those things just block as many of the addresses as you have time for.

 
55691/10/2012 3:36:07 PMBen
Laudnum
Who is that showing 44.6 x Torque to Watts on the graph linked near the bottom of the new Torque page edits?

EXTRA
LINK...
They chose not to be famous.

 
55681/10/2012 11:22:40 AMDo
Nothin

Michigan
Thanks Bob!

Sure feel free to add my question to the Chatterbox.

I actually didn't see that part of the website, so I'll go check it out.

I'll do some research on the Garmin and see if it meets your criteria.

I also have a Joule.

I bought a CycleOps stationary bike which measures power and included the Joule.

I'll have to go double check, but I don't think it has a separate reading for torque.

I believe it just has watts.

Here is a screen shot from the manual showing all the metrics that can be displayed.

EXTRA
LINK...
Yeah, look at all that data, but not one mention of how hard the pedals are actually being pushed.

Big Bianchi has a CycleOps stationary, and it does provide Torque but only in software after download, not during the ride.

Also, be aware that the flywheel skews data and hides a significant area for improved performance... certainly enough to get you over 20 mph on your standard 30 mile loop.

Works the way gymnasium spin bikes do, which is to say: great for people who would otherwise be on their couch, but not so good for people actually looking to improve their performance.

Anyway, you will notice below that after your previous email (which I reinserted immediately below for continuity), somebody else asked a similar question and referred me to a Joule review which I felt obliged to go through.

Same ol, same ol.

It seems there is a conspiracy to keep real information out of the hands and off the handlebars of riders.

 
55671/10/2012 11:22:35 AMDo
Nothin

Michigan
I stumbled across your website today because I'm thinking of getting a Powertap.

Thanks for the great read.

I'm a 40 year old male and have been road riding for about 4 or 5 years now.

I've owned a Garmin Edge during that time which lets me compare my progress each year.

I start every season riding at about a 16.5 mph average (solo) over the same 30 mile course.

Every year I end up at about a 19 mph average over the same course.

I can never seem to get any better, so I'm hoping to change that.

I do have one question.

Do you have any preference between using the Cyclops computer (Joule) versus a Garmin Edge when using the Powertap?

Any pros or cons either way?

Thanks again for all the awesome information!

I've already ordered the book you told me not to order.

 Hi Do : )

Thank you for writing.

As I just told somebody else at Chatterbox post #5546, I have not seen the Garmin Edge nor have I seen anything about the Joule as yet which would recommend it over Powertap's earlier CPU.

Make sure whichever you get the following three items are addressed:

1) Torque/Watts as separate measurements not deprecated.
2) Cadence Sensor on the crank.
3) Wireless

Wireless will allow somebody else to pace behind you watching numbers and prompting

A cadence sensor (as opposed to numbers coming off the hub) provides real data instead of guessed at numbers.

Torque/Watts is essential to track your performance.

Also, be aware that the stock Powertap software (as opposed to the programs I have seen people using with the Garmin) is more than adequate to get to the meat of the matter, and it offers Torque/Watts comparison in a great graphic.

Also, make sure to see my page on Torque, because it is something very much misunderstood, and I have been remiss in adding it to the book, but am just now writing about it.

If you will allow, I would like to toggle your question with my answer onto the Chatterbox.

Thank you again for the question.

If you get the Garmin for use with the Powertap, I would be happy to learn from your experience.

Bob Fugett

 
55661/10/2012 11:06:10 AMAl
Kater
Why ya fuckin' with Bianchi like that?

 I guess you're right.

He did get real enough to start showing up to some Yoga classes.

 
55651/10/2012 9:06:31 AMJOYou are aware the Bicycle Doctor has had some experience putting Powertaps on wheels? Usually I just send people over there, but some are not local, others prefer to roll their own, and some prefer to take their bikes down to nuts and bolts for a good cleaning before they give themselves a good delay on putting it back together in order to use their power meter to get scads more meaningless detail and avoid looking at the absurd simplicity of it all.

 
55641/10/2012 8:53:57 AMSlingShotWell, SlingShot, you were right.

I fully reviewed the in-depth review, and the Joule should be renamed Jewel, because it is more than anything a fashion accessory.

The talk is about "the on ride experience" which really boils down to "enough bullshit details for you to kid yourself on any ride you choose."

And when you get home, you can load it all onto your computer and kid yourself in greater depth.

Is it too much to ask, "Can't you just tell me how fucking hard I pushed the pedals!?"

 Not very surprising, SlingShot.

Thanks for looking into this for me.

I had floor exercises to do.

Now I have to slog through another day expanding on the Torque page, so I don't have to keep trying to explain this to people.

 
55631/10/2012 7:44:39 AMGTAlso, here is an indepth review of the CycleOps Joule and PowerTap wheelset. Should I get the PowerTap fitted to a heavier, more durable wheel (225# rider weight limit) for my aluminum training bike or a lighter, faster wheel (180# rider weight limit) for my carbon bike that I use on the club rides?

EXTRA
LINK...
The Powertap (even with newer ceramic bearings) is slower than a standard hub due to the extra weight, but the locals can be beat on a tricycle, so it's pretty much up to you.

I started to review the review, and my first look was to assure the separate Torque readings have not been deprecated, and I see on one of the charts they are there.

However, not finding a Torque average on the first summary page I looked at, I did a CTL-F and found the word Torque does not appear in the article.

Typical.

I am telling you, this is a major metric, the value of which everybody has totally missed.

 
55621/10/2012 7:35:53 AMGTHi SlingShot. I see from the provided link that one can get a separate cadence sensor to complement the PowerTap. I assume this overides the PowerTap calculation by the Joule.

EXTRA
LINK...
I don't consider the Cadence Sensor a complement but an absolute necessity.

Without it, the CPU just guesses at your cadence based on power spikes.

On the screenshot (linked right) of my configuration you will notice there are selections for:

Pedal, Hub
Pedal Only
Hub Only

You will want to choose: "Pedal Only" while being aware that it will still default back to Hub if your sensor is unavailable (slips out of position) or the battery fails.

EXTRA
LINK...
55611/9/2012 4:59:27 PMFG 2.0[Haven't you ever wondered why you always found it so easy kicking asses left and right... and left again?]

Ummm...touché?

 Don't you dare touch me with that thing!

 
55601/9/2012 3:27:13 PMDo
Nothin

Michigan
I stumbled across your website today because I'm thinking of getting a Powertap.

Thanks for the great read.

I'm a 40 year old male and have been road riding for about 4 or 5 years now.

I've owned a Garmin Edge during that time which lets me compare my progress each year.

I start every season riding at about a 16.5 mph average (solo) over the same 30 mile course.

Every year I end up at about a 19 mph average over the same course.

I can never seem to get any better, so I'm hoping to change that.

I do have one question.

Do you have any preference between using the Cyclops computer (Joule) versus a Garmin Edge when using the Powertap?

Any pros or cons either way?

Thanks again for all the awesome information!

I've already ordered the book you told me not to order.

 Hi Do : )

Thank you for writing.

As I just told somebody else at Chatterbox post #5546, I have not seen the Garmin Edge nor have I seen anything about the Joule as yet which would recommend it over Powertap's earlier CPU.

Make sure whichever you get the following three items are addressed:

1) Torque/Watts as separate measurements not deprecated.
2) Cadence Sensor on the crank.
3) Wireless

Wireless will allow somebody else to pace behind you watching numbers and prompting

A cadence sensor (as opposed to numbers coming off the hub) provides real data instead of guessed at numbers.

Torque/Watts is essential to track your performance.

Also, be aware that the stock Powertap software (as opposed to the programs I have seen people using with the Garmin) is more than adequate to get to the meat of the matter, and it offers Torque/Watts comparison in a great graphic.

Also, make sure to see my page on Torque, because it is something very much misunderstood, and I have been remiss in adding it to the book, but am just now writing about it.

If you will allow, I would like to toggle your question with my answer onto the Chatterbox.

Thank you again for the question.

If you get the Garmin for use with the Powertap, I would be happy to learn from your experience.

Bob Fugett

 
55581/8/2012 8:09:24 PMFG 2.0I'm pretty sure it's not mine. I mean, it is something I'd do with it, but come on!

You gave me three arms!

Plain and simple, it's a lousy Photoshop job...one expects better of you after...what...like, almost two years?

 Please review GT's most recent postings.

After getting his copy of the Egosuce book, GT looked in the mirror and realized his belt hung funny, and his left hip is higher.

Similar to my own discovery of my hyper-mobile left hip which I noticed in Kindergarten but which didn't take me out of competition until presenting as a knee problem in college only to remain disunderstood for the next 40+ years.

Suffice it to say there was no Photoshopping of your photo.

After all it is obviously taken from a security cam, and those things cannot be doctored even by Art Donohue.

Haven't you ever wondered why you always found it so easy kicking asses left and right... and left again?

 
55571/8/2012 4:41:36 PMFG 2.0Heyyy...that is NOT my finger!

EXTRA
LINK...
Are you sure?

I mean it looks like your finger, and something you would do with it.

 
55561/8/2012 11:20:12 AMT.R.B.
Maker
I know you said Babikian "invited" Freifelder to do Kain several times, but didn't you mean to say "challenged"?

 Well.

 
55551/8/2012 7:15:17 AMGTAnd to think I took all those education courses way back when...

If only I had known how much simpler it could have been to command the class!

By the way, SlingShot, I was perusing these results of the 2011 High Point Hill Climb.

Many familiar names in these results, including David Freifelder who rode with us a week or two ago.

I notice his time here was quite a bit faster (he took 3rd place in the Senior Men category) than Joe Straub's (who won the Men's 45+ category).

Has David ever tried Kain?

EXTRA
LINK...
Not that he has reported.

I do know that Glenn Babikian has invited him several times.

There must be something about Kain that dissuades people.

 
55541/8/2012 6:50:02 AMGTI'll order Cook's book and DVD's today.

 You are now the teacher, and I bow to your wisdom.

 
55531/7/2012 11:00:47 PMGTI always wondered why my belt was higher in the back / lower in the front, regardless of my weight and why my body never looked symmetrical in the mirror.

Now I know I have that forward pelvic tilt and also see that my left hip is higher than my right.

I assume I can keep cycling while I treat these conditions?

 See Table 1, p. 147 of Egoscue, 1992.

Also review pp. 144-152

I can tell you this:

I have only seen one rider in the local club who did not have some obvious dysfunction but was actually riding smoothly with both legs.

And by that I mean from the slowest of the slow to the fastest of the very fast.

That rider was Brand New Bruce whom I believe maintained his Marine training and daily exercises his entire life.

If you show up to a ride balanced and even, your advantage will be so significant as to place you in an entirely different league well beyond anybody local.

To better track your progress make sure to get the Gray Cook book and DVDs.

We can loan you ours if you want to review them first.

You have now jumped past the head of the class and are just about ready to teach it.

 
55521/7/2012 9:34:15 PMReality
Chuck
Those are just exercises on that video, but you said "metrics".

 Measurement specs are in the book. >>>

EXTRA
LINK...
55511/7/2012 7:34:29 PMGreg TsoucalasHi SlingShot:

Got the Egoscue book yesterday and decided to read the whole book.

Did my self eval, and I am certainly not a right-angled guy.

I have two of the conditions.

I'll be starting the exercises tomorrow.

He makes a lot of sense.

Hopefully I can get into alignment quickly.

Thank you very much.

 Nobody (by that I mean NOBODY) gets into alignment quickly.

Therefore, don't you dare wait until tomorrow to start the exercises, do the first one right now!

You don't have to do them all anyway, although it would be to your advantage to do the 13 everyday.

I know previously I suggested you get the FMS book, but you have now jumped to the front of the class and accomplished what the FMS was going to help you with... figuring out what next.

However, I did try to find some explanation of FMS online, but didn't find a lot, plus one of the sites said, "This isn’t a self-assessment you can do at home. 'You need a professional...'"

That statement is TOTAL FUCKING BULLSHIT.

Unless you are a total douchebag retard you can do a real good job of self-assessment.

You (Greg Tsoucalas) have already proven you are not a total douchebag retard by identifying problems after an afternoon with the Egoscue book.

FMS just adds a few quantifiable metrics to what you found in the Egoscue book.

Despite what I read at a few websites, the FMS Test was merely designed as a quick screening test to run members of a Pro athletic team through on the first day of practice to see who is injured (go to the doctor), close to injured (go to practice but here's your special exercises), good to go (get your ass out of here and over to practice).

It is specifically designed to make it hard for an athlete to lie about dysfunction in order to collect an extra 1.5 million dollars this year.

I did find a good video overview of the movements.

You really don't need it at this point (having already defined some problems to work on), but here's a link for jollies.

Suffice it to say, this is an example of EXTREME success with all exercises, but not really PERFECT.

Nobody (by that I mean NOBODY) gets into alignment quickly.

EXTRA
LINK...
55501/5/2012 9:07:10 AMARC
Staff
Anthony Defeo's hotmail account has been hijacked and is sending spam.

 Don't even bother opening, just block it.

 
55491/5/2012 8:26:32 AMARC
Staff
Jen Cavalheiro is back from Florida.

Easy 4 mile hike/run in Goosepond starting at the Monroe side trailhead.

This morning, 9:45 pm, Monroe side trailhead on 17M at Craigville Rd.

 I'll be there with Widder.

 
55481/5/2012 6:23:14 AMGreg TsoucalasGreat info! Thanks so much. I will research the capabilities. I've been reading past comments and would love to ride faster with less pressure on the pedals.

 Ok, then. Let's get going.

Here is a link to an unpublished page.

The books are listed in the order people should read them.

However, in your case I would suggest going straight to the Gray Cook book first and learning about FMS.

Also his DVD's are almost a necessity, and you can test on your own quite statisfactorily with stuff laying around your house, but we have the test kit, if you want to use it.

Don't bother buying the Egoscue book, because as a Kain Medalist and Chatterbox contributing author, you are entitled to a free one with my special notes in it.

Mary will pop yours in the mail this morning.

Order the Anatomy of Movement (the black book just below Egoscue, not the Exercises below that) while you are waiting for the snail mail to slime past your house.

By the way, I have included your name in the CPS Acknowledgements with a thank you for prompting me to add links to information about the people I mention in About the Author.

 
55461/4/2012 9:36:48 PMGreg TsoucalasAs the local (maybe national) power meter Guru, SlingShot, how does this offer (see link) from Williams Cycling look to you, and which "computer" would you recommend between the Joule and the Garmin Edge 500? Your thoughts on this are appreciated.

EXTRA
LINK...
Actually, I am the International authority on this stuff as the functional aspect of Cycling Performance Simplified continues to exhibit all the symptoms of something on the verge of going viral.

However, Saris has always been less than forthcoming with enough actual information about their product for me to provide a truly rational assessment.

It's not necessarily their fault, because they bought the technology from somebody else and probably don't understand it themselves.

That being said, make sure of three things.

1) Torque/Watts as separate measurements not deprecated.
2) Cadence Sensor on the crank.
3) Wireless.

Torque vs Watts information is beyond absolutely critical, and is something only available with Powertap, far as I know.

As for a cadence sensor, the "guessed at cadence" which is taken from the "hub" so skews the data, most of what you can learn with a power meter is lost.

I can't tell you how many times I've looked at my data after a ride and yelped, "Holy, moly. I am getting smooth and ee-ee-eeefishient!" only to realize my cadence sensor battery was toast and the unit had defaulted back to reading the bullshit off the hub.

Wireless provides the possibility that I can pair my own CPU to your wheel and pace behind you providing quick study feedback.

I have not seen the Garmin, but I have heard that people have to replace them at regular intervals as they fail.

Also, I have not seen anything that would convince me the Joule has anything to offer over the older (yellow) Powertap CPU.

Bianchi has a Joule, but has not reported on the specific list of requirements I would deem are needed to make it worthy of an upgrade on my part.

Nothing wrong with finding something on eBay, wireless with the old CPU.

On the other hand, I could quickly show you how to get 99.9% of the useful information you can get off one of these power meters with a simple hard-wired cadence counter—about 30 bucks.

No matter what you get, all these devices are still in the stone age, with the SRM clearly behind Powertap.

A music CD player samples sound at 44,000 times per second, your car's anti-lock braking system samples much faster, even a cheap mp3 file is sampled and spewed at 18-36,000 times per second.

It is ridiculous that these power meters are only sampling a few times a second.

Also, it is unfortunate they do not sample left and right separately along with a sampling of reverse pressure on the crank (in the backwards direction) which would reveal with actual data what I see happening with people's spins all the time.

Even Powertap's track version doesn't truly address back pressure on the crank.

Here, read this: Torque.

We have fashioned procedural work-arounds, but until the quality of commercially available power meters goes up, and the price comes down (so enough people can afford them and are in a position to understand what the fuck I've been talking about), it is unlikely my standing as International guru will mean anything more than an aggravation to Widder and her friends.

EXTRA
LINK...
55451/1/2012 9:54:40 PMPlan BSince I am obviously not worthy to wear Greg's toupee, I will continue with Plan B.

The kid is prohibited from bringing his 2011 Kain medal to college as long as I pay the tuition.

I sit on his bed, holding the medal as I weep quietly to myself.

My wife thinks that I am such a sensitive man to miss my first born male child when I'm really just wondering why the little SOB passed me while I was hurling.

He gets an education, I get to pretend the medal is mine, and nobody gets hurt.

The only downside to Plan B is the expense.

 

 
55441/1/2012 8:05:12 PMARC
Staff
One final.EXTRA
LINK...
  
55431/1/2012 7:27:45 PMAtlas
Shrugin
Clever, hashtags were implemented in the Chatterbox only a half dozen years before tweety-face websites made 'em a big deal.

You might also like to mention the hike starts tomorrow at 9:00 am from the Visitor's Center in Sterling Forest.

So far it's: Twin Lynn, Roger Freeman, Paul Labrie, and a bunch of dogs.

 On the other hand, I might not mention it at all.

 
55421/1/2012 7:21:13 PMAtlas
Shrugin
Holy crap, two mute Shots in close proximity.

 Yep. Don't even think I'll bother to read it.

ARC Staff has requested we go into vertical mode, wherein all conversations are held up the left side of the Chatterbox.

References to earlier posts can be referenced easily by simply putting hash tags in the URL slots such as how I put to the right here: #5529

EXTRA
LINK...
55411/1/2012 7:07:31 PMGreg TsoucalasPerhaps it's my "aging" memory, Sore Loser ( aka Frank), but I recall admonishing you for a photo you posted on the OCBC Facebook page, TAKEN WELL BEFORE CHRISTMAS EVE, sitting atop your home trainer while wearing Cadel Evans' STOLEN Yellow Jersey from the TDF? If this doesn't count as the equivalent of "back on the bike" training, then we must tell all our club members using trainers and/or spinning that they are wasting their time!

SlingShot: I will never sell the medal! However, if Big Bianchi can tell me why the "Check Engine" light on my car is on, I will gladly invite him to accompany me on a 30-minute stroll through the Galleria Mall while I am proudly wearing said medal around my neck.

As for missing the award ceremony, I am terribly sorry about that, but I never got the awards memo. Had I known you were coming I would have delayed my shopping for Mark Harmon hairpieces to suit my rising status. I appreciate your personal delivery and only wish I were here to invite you and Widder inside to LOOK at some cookies (I don't want no broken nose!) and drink some black coffee or herbal tea. I appreciate your presentation of the award to my, as you say, great-granddaughter, and I am sure she misheard Widder's response when she told Widder I wasn't home. No way would my personal (biking) savior (Widder) have responded: "GOOD!".

With respect to my personal version of "She Who Must ALSO Be Obeyed", your visit left me with some 'splaining to do. I may soon have to fess up that A. my winter riding pants aren't really dance leotards, B. I never even heard of Twyla Tharp (much less dated her), and C., I probably won't be performing that promised dance recital at our next anniversary party! Thanks a lot!

 

 
55401/1/2012 5:31:30 PMAtlas
Shrugin
What's this?

Somebody finally left Shot speechless?

 Pretty much.

 
55391/1/2012 4:03:03 PMSore LoserOn the way down Mt Peter. Ryan said "Those look like bike tracks in the frost."

I chalked it up to his youth and New Year activities. Otherwise, how could he have not passed me with only a five minute head start?

I guess it's time to pull the "I am ten weeks post crash and only got back on the bike Christmas Eve" card and play it.

That way you'll all have more fodder to mock and harass me.

I will take these small victories: I didn't soil myself on the descent which was a real concern after the accident, and my wife knowing I wanted to do Kain on New Year's Day encouraged it after having me increase my life insurance during open enrollment - the higher amounts kicked in today. College Boy isn't the only smart person in the house.

The difference between Greg and me (besides 20 years) is that he thinks about Kain while I just obsess over it. He probably has a chart at home outlining his gear selection and cadence. I'm happy that the only barf today was frozen in the parking lot when we left.

 

 
55381/1/2012 3:32:09 PMAl
Kater
Jeeze Louise, SlingShot, you didn't even take the medal out of its packaging.

 Left it that way so he can sell it on eBay, and Big Bianchi will finally get a chance to own one.

 
55371/1/2012 3:01:56 PMGreg TsoucalasI meant to say I would talk to Joe about providing said services under the auspices of Straub's Fitness.

 Leave Joe alone.

He is working on a special project for me: kicking everybody's ass one at a time.

After he's done with that, I am going to kick his ass and chalk everybody else's ass up as part of the package deal.

 
55361/1/2012 2:22:09 PMGreg TsoucalasHmmmmmm... It appears adoration comes in all forms, and I thank Mr. Wolfe for the well-intended homage.

One small editing note, Frank: Your statement should have read: "I THOUGHT I had 90 seconds of being the best of the year and about an hour of being the first."

Never one to gloat, I intend to talk to Joe about allowing me to provide pro bono instruction to slower riders (i. e., Frank) on training for the Kain Assault while Joe instructs the faster riders (i. e. Ryan).

As an aside, Frank, I am sure you had the advantage of using some sort of electronic timer to record your climb.

There's no telling how many Watts I wasted counting "1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi... all the way up to 562 Mississippi," although it did save me some weight.

 Since you didn't show up for the awards ceremony, your great-granddaughter accepted the medal on your behalf.

EXTRA
LINK...
55351/1/2012 11:49:08 AMSnoopyI am now looking for any and all courses that I can drop Greg on. I've been dreaming of this since I puked. We need volunteers to light Kain with the headlights of their cars for a midnight start in 2013.

 Seems like I heard the same thing about 2012.

 
55341/1/2012 11:42:34 AMOB
Servan
I see that Frank Wolfe made significant move up on the Leader Board. You might also notice that Crackhead Ryan has moved decidedly into fatherhood.

 
55331/1/2012 11:30:01 AMCuryousNow what?

 Everybody's just got to hope Joe Straub doesn't decide to restate his wedding vows, stops by Kain on the way, puts in a sub 5-minute Assault, and fucks up the rest of the year for everybody else.

 
55321/1/2012 11:19:51 AMHosed for another yearRyan and I set off at 9am this morning.

He gave me a five minute head start up Kain.

I spun my wheels up the hill, finishing in a personal best 13:05, secure in the knowledge that I would claim the first ascent of 2012.

I was still sucking wind when Ryan crested a minute and a half after me, giving him a pedestrian 9:35.

Anyone except him and Joe Straub would love a time like that.

I had 90 seconds of being the best of the year and about an hour of being the first.

Then I had to turn on my computer and have my happiness dashed.

Drat you Red Baron!!!!

 Hope your happy, Tsoulacas.

Killed two early birds with one stone.

 
55311/1/2012 11:17:36 AMAnn
Kshius
I just went by Straub Fitness and saw the strangest thing in the parking lot.

Pretty Boy was there trying to get on his bicycle, but Joe had him by the ear smacking him over the head with the Cup, so he couldn't get away and go up Kain.

 Joe likes having that Cup.

Thinks its pretty.

 
55291/1/2012 9:42:48 AMGreg TsoucalasWell, it wasn't pretty, but I made it in a pedestrian 9:22, finishing at 8:06 AM this morning.

The rhythmic banging of that 1957 Mickey Mantle card against my spokes kept me focused (remember the ADD!), but do you think the friction slowed me down?

It's a shame that so few riders use them anymore.

In any case, the road was wet with a few streaks of slush in the middle-upper regions of Kain.

I'm not sure the sun ever shines there! I left my calling card on your front door. I meant to leave a note, but I came sans writing instrument of any type and couldn't find one anywhere on the streets of Sugar Loaf.

Brat (your dog) and I had a nice conversation which we both promised to keep confidential.

I never thought to ask you if you would guide me at midnight.

None of my tipsey friends were willing, nor was I willing to ride in front of them.

Happy New Year !!!!

..er gluhp... SPEEWWW.

 





Well, there you go, motherfuckers.

Your asses are kicked, and your only recourse is to rip the goddamn cup from the cold deadbeat hands of Joe Straub.

... and it will only take a 9:21.99 to do it !!

Any number of otherwise sorry ass losers should have that in them.

Poor Greg.

He just disqualified himself from fucking with Joe until somebody else beats his own Baseline.

But maybe getting that pristine medal to keep for-fucking-ever will assuage his pain.






 
55281/1/2012 6:38:25 AMGreg TsoucalasLooks like a photo taken from a car.

 Looks like nobody was on the climb in front of that car.

 
55271/1/2012 12:23:15 AMWattcha
McCaulitt
Did not.

 Did too.

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552612/31/2011 11:32:52 PMSlingShotWell, I'd better drive over there just in case.

 Yes, you'd better.

 
552512/31/2011 9:00:00 PML. YokalThree hours to what?

 





 
552412/31/2011 8:29:08 PMPrettty BoyOk, 2012 is the year of the Kain Assault. Just need to get in shape.

 Far be it from me to stick my nose in your training business, but I'm thinking you might want to get started on that right away.

You've got about three hours.

 
552312/31/2011 5:46:21 PMGad A.
Boudt
I don't get all this sudden interest in Kain.

 Me neither.

 
552212/31/2011 5:09:33 PMGreg TsoucalasDo we need Kain Assault witnesses in 2012?

 Only for World Record Attempts.

You don't get to call yourself a Straub Swatter without verification.

Anybody who would lie about anything else is just plain pitiful.

And really, to fuck with Joe you don't have to beat his current self timed record, but only his older Official Time.

If you can beat that, we'll make him prove his current time, but you can't, so don't even bother worrying about it.

What can be done, however, is a baseline can be set, then somebody can beat it, and Joe will have to hand over the damned Kain Cup.

Then he'll have to do the climb again to get it back.

I can tell you this: Joe wants to go up that hill as much as anybody—which is to say not at all.

 
552112/31/2011 12:15:00 PMCareful
Planner
Got any Kain tips?

 Watch out for the fireworks.

 
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