American Road Cycling: Dan Buckley Acceptance Speech

Dan Buckley Acceptance Letter

Recently American Road Cycling Board Member Dan Buckley somehow got wind that he had been appointed to his position, along with notification that his Harriman Race Course Ride is finally sanctioned. Much to the surprise of American Road Cycling, instead of suing us, Dan e-mailed the following acceptance letter. We believe he is just sucking up in hopes of winning a jersey at the top of Ridgebury Road, but he's going to have to suck a lot more wheel than this to do it.

My Letter of acceptance:

I am greatly honored to accept this position on the board of directors—whether I like it or not—in recognition of my contribution to the American Road Cycling community.

I am grateful for the affirmation given to me by Bob Fugett and would like to take this moment to acknowledge the shared vision, support, and co-operation that I have received from many wonderful Cyclists over my short, one year, cycling career.* For this I am truly grateful.

I would also like to take this moment to mention that over the past few years, more money has been spent on breast implants and Viagra than is spent on Alzheimer's disease research. It is believed that by the year 2030 there will be a large segment of the American Road Cycling population wandering around with huge breasts and/or “sportin wood”** who can't remember what to do with it all.

But as they say, "You never forget how to ride a bike".

Thank You
db

* It must be remembered that Mr. Buckley has been claiming his "short, one year, cycling career" for the last 15 years. He mentions it after each buzz saw butt thrashing that Kevin, Humberto, and that new Donovan asshole, plus the whole Verge team gives him every Saturday morning at the top of Ridgebury Road. Don't tell Dan I mentioned this, as American Road Cycling really wants to keep him saddled with Board Membership, despite the fact he recently started training for duathlons. Apparently he tired of cycling and decided he should be getting his ass thrashed in two sports at the same time. Pretty soon he's sure to migrate to triathlons and commence speaking about nothing but himself.

** Please excuse Dan swearing like a sailor. He thinks he has the right just because he used to drive nuclear submarines trying to protect your sorry ass from your own government.

this page last updated: 02/01/2015 10:38:48 PM